Treatment FAQ

why do guys do the silent treatment

by Laisha O'Kon Published 2 years ago Updated 2 years ago
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Believe it or not, we found that one of the most common reasons that guys give silent treatments is because they think it’s the manly thing to do. In a situation when a man feels no other way forward with a conversation than to speak about his deeper feelings or emotions, he may nip it in the bud and pull out the ol’ silent treatment instead. 2.

Researchers have found that the silent treatment is used by both men and women to terminate a partner's behaviors or words rather than to elicit them. 1 In abusive relationships, the silent treatment is used to manipulate the other person and to establish power over them.Jun 1, 2020

Full Answer

What happens when a man gives you the silent treatment?

Why Do Guys Give the Silent Treatment 1. It’s the Manly Thing to Do (Rather Than Talk About His Emotions) 2. As a Way of Prolonging Feelings of Defeat (When Not Winning an Argument) 3. It’s a Clever Way to Not Feel Disappointed (From Their Partner) 4. As a Means of Control or Power (Over Their Partner) 5. As a Nonphysical Attack (Mental Abuse) 6.

What to do when your partner uses the silent treatment?

Research. Researchers have found that the silent treatment is used by both men and women to terminate a partner's behaviors or words rather than to elicit them. 1 In abusive relationships, the silent treatment is used to manipulate the other person and to establish power over them.

How does the silent treatment relate to abuse?

Why do guys give the silent treatment? The silent treatment (also known as withholding) is used to punish and regain control of a person. It may feel good to ignore your partner when you feel slighted but, it keeps you from finding real solutions to …

Do you have to apologize to someone who gave you the silent treatment?

4 Reasons Why Men Stop Talking in Relationships 1. Men don’t talk feelings or relationships. It’s that old chestnut that emotions are not manly and heaven forbid, if a man were to expose his feelings, he may be seen as a wuss. The silence is an attempt to resolve the fear of being exposed as not being manly enough. 2. Men get angry with their feelings

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What to do when he gives you the silent treatment?

Calmly tell the person that you've noticed they're not responding and you want to understand why. Emphasize that you want to resolve things. While it's not your fault that someone else decides to give you the silent treatment, you do have a responsibility to apologize if you've done something wrong.Apr 30, 2019

When a guy is silent What does that mean?

They often don't have the speed of words to compete with their partner in a conflict. Men's emotional processing capacity is often much slower than their partner. Whilst being silent is a sign of a man's need to process it is also a way to avoid the feelings of defeat.

WHAT silent treatment does to a person?

Experiencing the silent treatment denies basic human social and relationship needs. The silent treatment has been known to end romantic relationships, alienate friends, and negatively impact child development. When children experience the silent treatment from parents or caregivers, the effects can be devastating.Nov 27, 2018

What does the silent treatment say about you?

“Exclusion and rejection literally hurt,” John Bargh, a psychology professor at Yale, told me. But the silent treatment ultimately harms the person causing it, too. Humans are predisposed to reciprocate social cues, so ignoring someone goes against our nature, Williams said.Mar 26, 2021

Why has he gone distant all of a sudden?

It might be moving too fast for him Relationships are big commitments, and while he might be sure that he really likes you, he might feel better about it if it moves a bit slower. If the relationship is moving too fast for him, he'll start acting distant as a technique to put the brakes on things.Sep 5, 2020

Why does he go silent for days?

Men get quiet for all kinds of reasons. Sometimes they really are tired. Sometimes, they really do just need to zone out and not talk. Sometimes, they do get frozen with work stress. They may have no clue what's bothering them or they may be wrestling with depression, fears of intimacy, or worries about the future.May 16, 2018

Is the silent treatment disrespectful?

"Many of us are prone to sulk or to pout, and that is an early form of giving somebody the silent treatment." Parrott, a psychology professor at Seattle Pacific University, says nothing good comes from the silent treatment because it's "manipulative, disrespectful and not productive."Aug 3, 2014

What is the psychology behind ignoring someone?

Key points. Research finds that feeling ignored can affect people's sensory perceptions, such as feeling that surroundings seem quieter. Being ignored creates feelings of self-doubt, feeling a lack of control, and feeling not worthy of attention.Jul 4, 2021

How do you respond to being ignored?

“I'm sorry.” “Acknowledging your role in the situation can reassure them that you can communicate honestly,” Jackman says. “For example, you can apologize and ask when they might be ready to talk.” If you've hurt them and they don't want to talk to you, honor the space and time they need.May 17, 2021

Why is silence so powerful?

Being silent allows us to channel our energies. It gives us the clarity we need to calmly face challenges and uncertainty. The hour of silence I practice each morning, and encourage you to practice as well, can be a time for collecting our thoughts, training our minds, and deciding how we want to enter into the day.Jul 22, 2021

Do they come back after silent treatment?

Yes! They most often come back after ending the relationship if there is still enough supply for them.Jun 18, 2013

Why is silence the best revenge?

Silence speaks volumes Believe it, the silence and zero reaction really bothers your ex, and they consider it as the best served revenge. Nothing creates more curiosity than silence. Your ex would expect a vent or an angry rant from you, but don't give in. If you do, you are meeting their expectations.Sep 9, 2019

What is silent treatment?

The silent treatment can happen in romantic relationships or any type of relationship, including between parents and children, friends, and co-workers. It can be a fleeting reaction to a situation in which one person feels angry, frustrated, or too overwhelmed to deal with a problem.

Why do people go silent?

But some people use the silent treatment as a tool for exerting power over someone or creating emotional distance.

What to do when your spouse is silent?

If it’s your spouse or partner, you both may benefit from couples counseling or individual therapy to learn better ways to manage conflicts. When the silent treatment is part of the larger issue of emotional abuse, don’t blame yourself. It’s not your fault.

How to deal with emotional abuse?

Make it about you. Ignore it. Offer solutions. Stand up for yourself. What not to do. Signs of emotional abuse. Get help. Takeaway. If you’ve ever found yourself in a situation where you couldn’t get someone to talk to you, or even acknowledge you, you’ve experienced the silent treatment.

How does being ostracized affect your self esteem?

Research shows that frequently feeling ostracized can reduce your self-esteem and sense of belonging. It can leave you feeling like you’re without control. This effect may be more intense when it’s done by someone close to you as a form of punishment. know the signs.

What to do when things escalate to emotional abuse?

When things escalate to emotional abuse, you’re not in a healthy relationship. It’s time to put yourself first. If you believe the relationship is worth salvaging: Set firm boundaries about what acceptable behavior is and how you expect to be treated.

Is silent treatment a good way to communicate?

While it’s not always malicious, the silent treatment certainly isn’t a healthy way to communicate. If the silent treatment looms large in your life, there are steps you can take to improve your relationship or remove yourself from an abusive situation. Last medically reviewed on April 30, 2019.

What does it mean when someone gives you the silent treatment?

The silent treatment is a sign that communication in the relationship has broken down.

What is silent treatment?

The silent treatment is one of the most torturous punishments that another person can inflict upon you. They use silence as their weapon of choice. By withholding their approval, they expect you to work out what is wrong and resolve the situation before they will resume talking to you.

How to resolve a silent behavior problem?

To resolve the issue long-term, you need to identify the reason the other person has chosen the silent treatment as their way to deal with problems. When you do that you can work to resolve the real issue because you will no longer be treating the symptom; you will be treating the disease. Overcome Passive Aggressive Behaviour.

What happens if you silently treat someone?

If the silent treatment is continuous and prolonged, you begin to wonder what is wrong with you. After all the desire to talk to others is natural so, for somebody to not want to talk to you, there must be something seriously wrong with you. When someone is giving you the silent treatment to inflict emotional pain, ...

What is the curse of the modern world?

Another curse of the modern world is that people are desperate for attention all the time. They get to see how vacuous celebrities profit from attention (good or bad) and so, if they feel that you are not giving them enough attention; they will force you to give them attention by acting in a manner which leaves you wondering what’s wrong and what you need to do to resolve the situation. Be wary if somebody is giving you the silent treatment for this reason because if they think it works, they will keep doing it.

Why can't I attack my behaviour?

Nobody can attack the reasons for your behaviour because you won’t tell anyone what those reasons are. Key point. With people like this, it can help to shine a light on their behaviour in a calm manner by telling them that you know exactly what they are doing. Overcome Passive Aggressive Behaviour.

What does it mean when someone punches you?

2. Wants to inflict emotional pain. With physical pain, you can usually get over it very quickly. For example, if someone were to punch you, the bruises can heal and the pain quickly subsides. As cruel as physical punishment is; emotional pain hits you at an even deeper level.

Why is silent treatment important?

for healthy relationships. Using the silent treatment prevents people from resolving their conflicts in a helpful way. When one partner wants to talk about a problem but the other withdraws, it can cause negative emotions such as anger and distress.

What is silent treatment?

Summary. The silent treatment is a refusal to communicate verbally with another person. People who use the silent treatment may even refuse to acknowledge the presence of the other person. People use the silent treatment in many types of relationship, including romantic relationships. It can sometimes be a form of emotional abuse.

How does silent treatment affect relationships?

How it affects relationships. In most cases, using the silent treatment is not a productive way to deal with a disagreement. Research indicates that both men and women use the silent treatment in relationships. However, clear and direct communication is essential. for healthy relationships.

Why do people stay silent in a conversation?

These include: Avoidance: In some cases, people stay silent in a conversation because they do not know what to say or want to avoid conflict. Communication: A person may use the silent treatment if they do not know how to express their feelings but want their partner to know that they are upset.

What does it mean to acknowledge someone is using the silent treatment?

Acknowledge that someone is using the silent treatment. For example, a person can say, “I notice that you are not responding to me.” This lays the foundation for two people to engage with each other more effectively.

How does silence end?

the silence lasts for extended periods of time. the silence only ends when they decide it does. they talk to other people but not to their partner. they seek alliances from others. they use silence to blame their partner and make them feel guilty.

What to do if someone feels they are in danger?

If a person feels that they or their family are in immediate danger, they must call 911. If they are not in immediate danger, a person who believes that their partner is abusive should consider whether or not they wish to stay in the relationship. It will help someone in an abusive relationship to:

Why is silent treatment called the weapon of choice?

Generally, it’s called on as the weapon of choice because it’s powerful and it’s easy to get away with.

Is silence a dignified response?

Silence can feel like a dignified, high road response but it’s not. It’s a way to inflict pain but without the physical marks. Being noticed is so close to being loved, that sometimes they feel the same. Being ignored is just as powerful.

Why do people use silent treatment?

This helps to diffuse the aggression that one person is feeling. 2. You can understand your partner better. People who use the silent treatment as a method of punishing their partner can stay silent for days building a wall around them and behaving that their partner doesn’t exist. This is terrible for a relationship.

Why does silent treatment work with an ex?

Why the silent treatment works with an ex is because it gives both people time off to think about the consequences of their decision. The no contact rule after breaking up can do wonders.

Why is silence important in marriage?

Silent treatment could be beneficial and abusive too. Silent treatment in marriage is thought to be a way of punishing a partner and is akin to passive aggressive behavior. But it is not always as mean as it is made out to be.

What happens when one person falls silent?

If one person falls silent and disengages from the argument this not only helps in breaking away from the cycle of angry arguments it also helps to open a dialogue and reach a compromise. When one partner wants to resolve the situation you should readily get out of the silence and start talking about the issue.

Can you use silent treatment in marriage?

Some people use silent treatment all the time and that has an adverse effect on a relationship and on your loved ones. Using silent treatment in marriage is also more common than you think. However difficult, if you use it once in a while it could be beneficial to your relationship.

Is silent treatment good for mental health?

This will be better for your mental health and you will reap the benefits of silent treatment. There are people who become silent when in a negative environment and transport themselves mentally to a serene place like a meadow or a beach and deal with their negative emotions accordingly.

Can silence be abusive?

If you do not, then your silent treatment will become abusive. Silent treatment in marriage or in relationships does have its benefits if used in the right way. But ensure that silence does not get prolonged then it will become detrimental for the relationship.

Why do people use the silent treatment?

People who use the silent treatment to win arguments and gain control need to understand the magnitude of their immature behavior. Confrontation lets them know that you see what they are doing and you understand the tactics they use. After telling them the truth, you can laugh about it.

What to do if you are silent?

If you are experiencing the silent treatment from someone you love, then therapy may be the only answer. This only works if your partner is willing to go to therapy in order to move forward. Unfortunately, so many people like using the silent treatment and don’t want a therapist taking that weapon away.

What is selfish treatment?

The selfish. People who haven’t been taught to care effectively for others in a household will use the silent treatment on a regular basis. Selfish people care for themselves over others and when something doesn’t go their way, they ignore others to make a statement.

How to win silent treatment?

1. Shrugging it off. One way to understand how to win the silent treatment is to brush it off or ignore it. If you aren’t necessarily in a close relationship with the person who is giving you the silent treatment, you may be able to just move on and act like nothing happened.

What happens when you are stuck in victim mentality?

So, when they are confronted with something they are doing wrong, they will grow silent and attempt to force their way.

What does it mean when something isn't going their way?

When something isn’t going their way, they know that their silent treatment may be the only real key to turning the tables and getting exactly what they want, after all. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t. This all depends on the strength and maturity of their intended target. 2. The narcissist.

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