How to respond when someone gives you the silent treatment?
Mar 28, 2022 · Who uses silent treatment? The silent treatment can be used by anyone--any gender, any age. It is not limited to one specific type of person. However, silent treatment is often used by narcissists and those who wish to exert control over others. It’s also used by those who lack effective communication skills.
What happens when you give a narcissist the silent treatment?
Oct 09, 2014 · The silent treatment is a way to inflict pain without visible bruising – literally. Research has shown that the act of ignoring or excluding activates the same area of the brain that is activated by physical pain. The best predictor of divorce isn’t whether a couple fights – arguments are inevitable – but how a couple fights. The key to being closer in the good times …
Why are you receiving the silent treatment?
Jun 05, 2018 · The silent treatment can work if you’ve stopped dating someone who keeps bothering you. However, I hope you’ll first have told that person kindly but firmly you don’t see a future in the relationship and have decided to break up. The only other time the silent treatment might be needed is if you’re dealing with an abusive ex.
Why do narcissists use the silent treatment?
The silent treatment is used as a form of control and manipulation You feel drained or emotionally exhausted after being around the narcissist The narcissist is never wrong and always puts themselves first The relationship is always about the narcissist You’re afraid to speak your mind or argue with the narcissist
Is the silent treatment ever appropriate?
While sometimes the silent treatment is just a short-term way to cool down, it's when it's used as a deliberate strategy to inflict pain and control that it's a problem. That treatment is never okay to use. In fact, it is unhelpful for anything other than a very brief period.
WHAT silent treatment does to a person?
Experiencing the silent treatment denies basic human social and relationship needs. The silent treatment has been known to end romantic relationships, alienate friends, and negatively impact child development. When children experience the silent treatment from parents or caregivers, the effects can be devastating.Nov 27, 2018
How long does the silent treatment last?
If the perpetrator still refuses to acknowledge the victim's existence for long periods of time, it might be right to leave the relationship. In the end, whether it lasts four hours or four decades, the silent treatment says more about the person doing it than it does about the person receiving it.Mar 26, 2021
Is the silent treatment a form of manipulation?
The silent treatment, while sometimes seemingly harmless when talking about it, can be a highly damaging and effective form of manipulation, coercion, and control used by toxic people. It is common, even though many victims feel alone and like they cant talk about it because no one will believe them or understand.Mar 12, 2020
Is silence a form of emotional abuse?
People who use the silent treatment as a means of control want to put you in your place. They'll give you the cold shoulder for days or weeks on end to achieve those goals. This is emotional abuse.Apr 30, 2019
Why is silence the best revenge?
Silence speaks volumes Believe it, the silence and zero reaction really bothers your ex, and they consider it as the best served revenge. Nothing creates more curiosity than silence. Your ex would expect a vent or an angry rant from you, but don't give in. If you do, you are meeting their expectations.Sep 9, 2019
Why silence is powerful with a man?
Silence can be a very powerful way to “be” with another person, especially when they are troubled. It can communicate acceptance of the other person as they are as of a given moment, and particularly when they have strong feelings like sorrow, fear or anger.
What silence does to a narcissist?
Essentially, the narcissistic person's message is one of extreme disapproval to the degree that the silence renders the target so insignificant that he or she is ignored and becomes more or less nonexistent in the eyes of the narcissistic person.Jun 2, 2014
Why is silence so powerful?
Being silent allows us to channel our energies. It gives us the clarity we need to calmly face challenges and uncertainty. The hour of silence I practice each morning, and encourage you to practice as well, can be a time for collecting our thoughts, training our minds, and deciding how we want to enter into the day.Jul 22, 2021
Is giving the silent treatment immature?
At best the silent treatment isan immature behavior used by spoiled brats and manipulativeindividuals. At worst, it is a weapon used by abusers to punish their victims.Jul 11, 2016
Is silent treatment narcissistic?
The silent treatment, a form of stonewalling, is a tool used by narcissists to punish someone who has behaved in a way they don't like. Most people want to right wrongs and if they feel like something negative has happened in the relationship, they want to discuss it to lessen tension and to protect the relationship.Nov 19, 2020
Is silence passive-aggressive?
It may be a passive-aggressive form of emotional abuse in which displeasure, disapproval and contempt is exhibited through nonverbal gestures while maintaining verbal silence. Clinical psychologist Harriet Braiker identifies it as a form of manipulative punishment.
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Is this a one-off, or are you regularly being completely ignored by your husband, wife or partner?
Whether you’re on the receiving end of the cold-shoulder treatment or stonewalling, take a moment to think about what might have caused your partner to behave like this.
Why does your spouse or partner ignore you?
The question I often get asked is: “Why do guys give the silent treatment?”
Three ways to help you improve your relationship
1. Learn how to argue effectively Read my articles on why you argue so much and how to stop the constant arguing in a relationship. It has a ton of tips and advice to help you acquire good communication skills so that you no longer have to resort to trying to win the silent treatment.
How to respond to the silent treatment with dignity
Being treated with the silent treatment is hurtful. You deserve better. So here are three steps you can undertake to encourage your partner to communicate in a more helpful way…
Finally
It may be that your partner really doesn’t understand how much damage they’re doing to your relationship by giving you the silent treatment. And when they get to understand the consequences of their stone-walling, they may be willing to work hard to avoid that strategy.
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Connect now with an understanding, non-judgemental, expert relationship coach for immediate help and support.
The Reasons Behind Silent Treatment
Sakurai collected the most common reasons from clients, support group members, and online surveys, to why people choose to go silent. These include:
How to Respond
This approach is best used towards the person who doesn’t do this regularly. This is usually a sign they are hurting. Timothy J. Legg, Ph.D., suggests that you calmly tell the person that you’ve noticed they’re not responding and you want to understand why.”If they don’t seem receptive, tell them you understand they may need some time alone.
What Not to Do
There may not be a perfect solution to the silent treatment. It may get to the point where your relationship has become so emotionally abusive that you need to walk away. Here are some things Legg suggests you DON’T do in retaliation:
What Is the Meaning of the Silent Treatment?
If you think that your partner not speaking to you for days on end is normal, then think again. Whilst silence can be used in a productive manner—such as following a breakup or during a period of cooling off—prolonged periods of unresponsiveness within intimate relationships are not normal or healthy.
Signs That Your Partner Is Giving You the Silent Treatment
Although silence is the primary method of chastisement, your partner may also adopt other subtle tactics that are designed to frustrate you. Hence, you may find that he delays or refuses to complete chores, knowing that this will upset or irritate you.
7 Disturbing Facts About the Silent Treatment
This is unacceptable behaviour and not something that should be tolerated in any relationship. Listed below are the seven disturbing facts about the silent treatment that you may not be aware of, which we will explore further in this article:
1. Your Partner May Be Avoiding Confrontation
Some people genuinely have a fear of confrontation and prefer to avoid it at all costs, as it makes them feel uncomfortable. This can arise for several reasons, such as: your partner is afraid of losing you, he may not know how to communicate his feelings, or he may simply lack the confidence to stand up to you.
2. It Is Not Cooling Off
From time to time, everyone needs to take some time out of their relationship. This is perfectly normal and often used to resolve conflict in healthy relationships. Nonetheless, this should not be confused with being given the silent treatment.
3. The Silent Treatment Is Emotional Abuse
The silent treatment is your partner's way of telling you that you have done something wrong. As a consequence of this, he refuses to acknowledge or communicate with you. This is passive-aggressive emotional abuse.
4. It Is Damaging to Your Health
The effects of emotional abuse are frequently underestimated. Just because you cannot see the damage being done, does not mean that it does not exist. In fact, victims of psychological abuse are more likely to suffer from the effects of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) than victims of physical abuse.
Does your spouse use the silent treatment to punish you?
We’ve been talking this week about how to feel emotionally connected. And one of the best ways to absolutely blow up emotional connection is to use the silent treatment in your marriage. A while ago, after I wrote a post on how to stop the emotional abuse cycle, a woman wrote in about a different type of emotional manipulation:
Using the silent treatment is a form of emotional manipulation
Sure, the person isn’t yelling or calling names. But refusing to talk and withholding communication is a form of punishment and manipulation; it’s just a little more subtle.
The silent treatment can be very emotionally destructive
When we marry, we do so to feel connected to another person. In fact, we are supposed to feel more connected to our spouse than to any other human being.
People who use the silent treatment are often either extremely selfish or extremely broken
If a spouse uses the silent treatment, it is often because they are narcissistic or controlling, and they know that they can manipulate their spouse into acting the way they want. In fact, that’s often the purpose.
You should reap what you sow–even with the silent treatment!
As I’ve talked about a lot on this blog, God set up this world so that people reap what they sow. It’s one of His main vehicles to help us learn moral lessons. But we can interrupt the law of sowing and reaping when we give cover to someone’s bad behaviour.
Remember–even if you set boundaries, you are not the one who is causing distance in the marriage. Your spouse did that by using the silent treatment
And you have made it abundantly clear that you will gladly resume closeness in the marriage once your spouse agrees to talk. But allowing your spouse to understand that this behaviour will not be tolerated now gives your spouse the shove they may need to address either the selfishness or brokenness in their lives.
