Treatment FAQ

narc site why does she keep giving silent treatment

by Bernice Leuschke Published 2 years ago Updated 2 years ago

Narcissistic women often use silent treatment as a way to punish a man. This article explains how this happens and what to do in this emotionally abusive situation. Narcissistic women feel no guilt implementing silent treatment Silent treatment is used to punish men Silent treatment is a way to get power over the man

Full Answer

When does a narcissist give you the silent treatment?

The narcissist give you the silent treatment when they feel that you not treating them specially. In other words, whenever the narcissist feels the decrease in their narcissist supply, he/she uses the big weapon of silent treatment on victims.

What happens if you don’t reach out during a silent treatment?

If you don’t reach out during a silent treatment from the narcissist one or more of the following is likely; -The narc will pretend like they didn’t notice you didn’t reach out. -The Narc will leave hints about their whereabouts or activities on social media or other places you are sure to notice.

Does the silent treatment make you feel like you’re going crazy?

The silent treatment can feel like psychological torture, and it can cause you to feel like you’re going crazy. This is why learning the truth about narcissists and their manipulative behavior is vital for those of us who are enmeshed with them.

How does a narcissist act when you text him?

The narcissist will read all your countless texts, emails and listen to voice messages…and he/she will ignore every last one! All your attempts at communication will be met with a deafening silence. The narcissist will instead get a tremendous amount of satisfaction from them!

What to do when a narc gives you the silent treatment?

11:0412:35Narcissists and the Silent Treatment - YouTubeYouTubeStart of suggested clipEnd of suggested clipTake the blame. Take the responsibility.MoreTake the blame. Take the responsibility.

What is the reason for silent treatment?

Sometimes, a person may give someone the silent treatment because they are too angry, hurt, or overwhelmed to speak. They may be afraid of saying something that makes the situation worse. In these cases, it can be helpful for each person to take some time to cool off before getting together to discuss the issue calmly.

What happens when you stop giving a narc attention?

If you ignore a narcissist and deny them their source, they may become enraged and try even harder for your attention – especially in ways that can be toxic or abusive. Ignoring a narcissist will enrage them because of their fragile egos. They'll feel humiliated and lash out against you to protect themselves.

Is silence good for a narcissist?

Essentially, the narcissistic person's message is one of extreme disapproval to the degree that the silence renders the target so insignificant that he or she is ignored and becomes more or less nonexistent in the eyes of the narcissistic person.

What to do when she goes silent on you?

6 Ways to Respond to the Silent TreatmentTake some time to cool off.Give your partner space to think.Don't apologize unless you're truly sorry.Apologize if you're truly sorry.Ask yourself whether it's just a personality difference.Set rules for healthy communication.

How long should the silent treatment last?

If the perpetrator still refuses to acknowledge the victim's existence for long periods of time, it might be right to leave the relationship. In the end, whether it lasts four hours or four decades, the silent treatment says more about the person doing it than it does about the person receiving it.

What does cutting off all contact with a narcissist do to them?

Breaking up with a narcissist is likely to be a draining experience. Either they won't let you go without a fight, or they will discard you without looking back. Both experiences are extremely hurtful.

How does a narcissist feel when you go no contact while they are doing the same to you?

They can be moody, angry and irritable A narcissist struggles with no in-person contact because they utilize body language to communicate, get their needs met, and maintain control. They have low self-esteem, and without validation, they can come become moody, angry, and irritable.

How do you tell when a narcissist is done with you?

Let's find out.For starters, narcissists are finished with you once your narcissistic supply gets stale.When they show more interest in those outsides of your relationship as they seek validation, your opinion is becoming less valuable to them.They start to devalue you.They finally ignore you for good.More items...•

What does it mean when a narcissist ignores you?

Put simply, they ignore you to regain control. The narcissist uses ignoring you as a way to punish for some wrongdoing you committed. They don't feel the need to tell you what the wrongdoing was, they just jump into ignoring you as quick as possible to protect themselves from further narcissistic injury.

Will a female narcissist come back?

Do Narcissists Come Back to Relationships? Yes, they often do come back to relationships. A narcissist will repeat their cycle of abuse as long as they need you as a supply. Even their distressing discard performance will leave you in a firm belief they're done with you; a narcissist will come back.

Does the silent treatment mean you have been discarded by the narcissist?

Silent treatment vs silent discard People with narcissistic tendencies tend to see others as objects to meet their needs and will discard them when it is no longer met or the person adds no value. Their pattern of relationship is to idealise, devalue and then discard. The silent treatment is a temporary discard.

What happens when you give silent treatment to a narcissist?

What happens in the initial days. When you start to give the silent treatment to the narcissist, the narcissist immediately finds it offending and hurting. As narcissists can’t tolerate being ignored, the act of silent treatment strikes the narcissist much harder than the normal people. As you start with the silent treatment, ...

What happens if you continue the silent treatment?

If you still continue the silent treatment, the narcissist may finally abandon you and move on with new narcissistic supply and new victims.

What more can you expect from the Narcissist?

However there are a few more things, you must embrace yourself if you are thinking to give a narcissist the silent treatment .

What is the silent treatment?

The silent treatment is the no1 weapon used by narcissists during which the narcissist acts as if you are non-existent and even refuses to communicate, even if you tried doing so. So, what happens when this silent-treatment is reversed?

How long does it take for a narcissist to come back to you?

Unable to feel being ignored, his inflated ego starts hitting him harder and harder. So, after giving silent treatment for a few weeks , the narcissist will likely come back to you. He may start chasing you so that he can get back his narcissistic supply like before.

Why does a narcissist block you?

The Narcissist may even block you on all his social media accounts and try to act extra friendlier with others, so that he can get more eyeballs from you. His routine bragging and show-off start to begin, just to show you that he is the most valuable person and prove that you are missing a great treasure ignoring him.

Why do we call it the attention grabbing phase?

Firstly, why we call it the attention-grabbing phase? This is because the narcissist starts to do everything, just to grab your attention and make you come back to him.

What Happens When You Give a Narcissist the Silent Treatment?

The only downside to this is that you have to do it for a long time before it has any effect on the narcissist. The reason for this is that narcissist is so self-absorbed in themselves that they won’t even notice that they’re being ignored until they get bored of being alone. To ensure that this doesn’t happen, you have to completely ignore them without letting any thoughts about them cross your mind.

How To Give The Silent Treatment?

If you’re in a relationship with a narcissist, make sure that you say something nice and sweet to them before you give them the silent treatment. If your partner is a petty narcissist, they’ll probably respond with an even more petty response if you start this way. It might happen that if you are lucky enough you may get the silent narcissist.

What happens when you stand up to a narcissist?

If you have a narcissist in your life, there is a good chance they have been making you feel victimized for a while. They might use threats and other things to keep you from standing up against them. What would happen if you did?

What does narcissist do when you ignore them?

They’re just so obsessed with their own needs that they never think about anyone else’s. When they think you are ignoring them, they can’t control their temper, so they tend to lash out more easily. A person with high levels of narcissism will either get more aggressive with the silent treatment, or even worse, get into a screaming argument, and push their power away.

How to deal with Narcissists?

However, to get rid of them once and for all, you’ll have to resort to the silent treatment, a classic method of control . The best way to deal with a narcissist in this manner is to simply make yourself disappear. While this is a difficult thing to do, there is one thing you can do to make it easier: learn to meditate.

What does a narcissist do with silent treatment?

The narcissist uses the silent treatment to soften you up, to make you more obedient, more eager to please, more of a slave.

Why was silent treatment delivered with surgical precision?

The silent treatment was delivered with surgical precision because I simply did not meet or supply her with whatever need she wanted from me at the time. Her gaslighting, projections, emotional coldness and shunning behaviors had run their course and I’d started pushing back.

What happens when you fail to cross your borders?

Tried to cross your borders and were unsuccessful. When they fail, they will disappear or give you the silent treatment, believing that when they come back , they can do whatever they want, that you “love” them and missed them so much that you will allow them to cross your borders.

Why do I not want to talk to my SO?

While I’m far from being a Narcissist, I strongly believe that I do not wish to speak to my SO or friends because you’re trying to deal with the disappoint or slight. As adults, we refrain from using hurtful words or actions to hurt someone we care about. Hence, my version of staying quiet is to let the the emotions die down; this is pretty common with highly emotional people.

Does everyone do silent treatment?

Everyone does silent treatment, to a degree, from time to time. It’s just a matter of intensity, duration and cause.

What is silent treatment?

Silent treatments come essentially in two forms. There is the Present Silent Treatment (“PST ”) and the Absent Silent Treatment (“AST”). The PST manifests as us standing and glaring at you but not saying anything, or walking away from you every time you come near us so we go to a different room or we just sit in a chair and watch television acting as if you are not there, even though we may speak to other people. Whilst the PST is unpleasant to the recipient, it is often used because it is a manifestation of cold fury. The PST is used by all three schools of narcissist, but is heavily used by the Mid-Rangers as part of their passive-aggressive repertoire. The advantage to us of the PST is that we can deploy it with very little effort (thus conserving energy) and also because you are either in the same room as us or nearby we gain significant Proximate Fuel from your upset, anger or irritation. A PST’s duration is less than that of an AST. This is because the fuel drawn from its application is strong and therefore any wounding that has been caused will be addressed sooner. Accordingly, the PST may only last half an hour and at most until the next morning after you have endured a night in bed alone as we slept in the spare room or on the settee.

What is the difference between silent treatment and discard?

Accordingly, a chief determinant between a silent treatment and a discard is whether you can contact us (albeit not actually get a response) if you can it is silent treatment. If not, it is a discard.

Why do we need fuel during silent treatment?

Since we need fuel during a silent treatment we keep the avenues of communication open but we do not respond. Thus we let you text, ring, drop notes round, send messages through friends and knock at our door. This gives us the fuel. If you have been discarded, we have no need for your fuel anymore (indeed you may not actually be providing it – see below) because we are drinking up delicious fresh positive fuel from the new primary source. Accordingly, we do not need to or want to hear from you.

What does "we revel in knowing you will be pacing up and down concerned as to where we have gone to?

We revel in knowing you will be pacing up and down concerned as to where we have gone to, you will be ringing around friends and relatives to try to track us down and alternating between anger and upset. We have caused this in you and this makes us feel powerful.

Is PST silent or silent?

The short duration of the PST and the very fact that we are in the same room as you or same building means that it is clear that it is a silent treatment and there is no discard. Indeed, the PST will not even be the precursor to discard. The PST has one function and one function alone; to draw fuel from you and it is very effective in that respect.

How do narcissists express their disapproval?

To be completely shut out, especially by those we love or who are supposed to love us, is debilitating even to the strongest of people. By being ignored or ostracized, we’re left feeling totally worthless with our self-esteem at an all-time low. The narcissist will express their disapproval or disagreement by shutting down, withdrawing any love or affection, refusing to communicate and denying their target any explanation.

What does a narcissist want?

A narcissist wants the target of their abuse - and be assured without a doubt that their “silence IS abuse” - to reach out, beg and plead for their very existence to be recognized. This is exactly what I did the first half of our relationship. I was so desperate for him to speak to me and show me attention.

What is a narcissist's mentality?

Avoidance, control, disempowerment and/or punishment for some “perceived” slight that their target may or may not be aware of. Narcissists are completely aware of their actions and how they are making the other person feel. But, in their sick, twisted minds they actually believe that somehow their loved one deserves it. Their emotional maturity is very typical of a small child who sulks and storms off until they get what they want.

What does it mean when someone loves you but doesn't withhold their love?

People who love you don’t withhold their love…they freely and unconditionally give it! People who love you…have your back. They don’t stab you in it or try to kill your spirit/soul.

How to deal with a narcissist?

Despite the silent treatment being painful, you can learn how to deal with a narcissist in powerful ways. By cultivating your self-esteem and sense of connection with others outside your abusive relationship, you will be able to weather the storm, reclaim your dignity, and get your life back.

What happens when a narcissist discards you?

When the narcissist seemingly discards you, it’s usually all smoke and mirrors to trigger your abandonment wounds so that you will accept their awful behaviors and eventually give them their way just to keep them in your life.

What is the bad thing about being a narcissist?

The bad side of staying in a relationship with a narcissist is that it keeps you stuck in a hopeless situation. Holding onto hope that the narcissist in your life will change is a pipe dream that leads to a wasted life. The idea can be likened to the legends of Big Foot and the Loch Ness Monster.

Can you show someone you have NPD?

No, with people with npd, you want to show them that they are not right in any way, shape, or form. When they finally reach out after giving you the silent treatment, make sure they are met with complete indifference and silence as they begin to recognize that their game didn’t work this time.

Do Loch Ness monsters exist?

There are people who adamantly insist these creatures exist, but no one has ever really seen them.

Is it okay to admit narcissistic abuse?

Recovering from narcissistic abuse is hard, and it’s okay to admit you need help. If you’re ready to go deeper, check out the #1 therapist-approved online program for narcissistic abuse recovery. Thousands across the globe have benefited from this program that’s practical, proven, and reliable. It’s the best place to begin a journey toward renewed self-worth and an end to feeling worthless.

Why do narcissists give you silent treatment?

Narcissists give you the silent treatment when they feel that you not treating them specially. In other words, whenever the narcissist feels a decrease in their narcissist supply, he/she uses the big weapon of silent treatment on targets.

How long does a narcissist's silent treatment last?

Narcissists have a huge patience in waiting for the narcissistic supply. Thus the narcissist’s silent treatment can long for days, weeks, months and even years also.

What happens during silent treatment?

So, during the silent treatment, you get confused and chase back the narcissist. Even if you did not chase, the narcissist knew that you are wondering and thinking about them continuously. This is what makes the narcissist’s ego satisfied and his longing for the narcissistic supply will be fulfilled.

What happens to a narcissist when you give him a supply?

Moreover, with the narcissistic supply you give, he gets back the power of feeling special and gets his ego satisfied.

What happens when you get irritated by a narcissist?

You get irritated, you get disturbed, You lose control of yourself and finally, You chase the narcissist and come to them. . And exactly this is what a narcissist expects and wants. By doing so, the narcissist automatically gains control over the relationship..

What is the silent treatment?

To be frank, the silent treatment is one of the narcissist’s cruel weapons used on people who love him. In other words, on the people from whom he gets that narcissistic supply. If you are in a relationship with a narcissist, you might already know how the silent treatment is like.. No calls..

When does a narcissist return?

Also at times, the narcissist returns when he is completely devoid of the narcissistic supply. On such a day when he is completely low, depressed and doesn’t have any supply available, he/she has no chance, except to come back to you immediately.

What happens when a narc goes silent?

The narc goes silent and need you to plead for him/her to pick up the phone or respond to attempts of contact. Your attempts of contact, is super fuel to the narcissist. During the silent treatment, it is not unusual for the narcissist to block and unblock, block and then again unblock their victims. The.

Why do narcissists use silent treatment?

Silent treatment can be initiated to show you that you do not matter, to gain compliance, or to punish you for doing something wrong in the relationship.

What happens if you don't reach out to a narc?

-The Narc will leave hints about their whereabouts or activities on social media or other places you are sure to notice.

What does it mean when a narcissist is silent?

Silent treatment can also mean the Narcissist is otherwise preoccupied and is choosing to intentionally ignore you. If you don’t reach out it will probably frustrate and confuse your narcissist. However if you reach out too persistently or ask too many questions then be prepared to continue to be ignored.

What happens if you don't respond to a narcissist?

You may feel the flooding of emotions that you felt when you were with the narcissist. You will want so badly to respond and “give them a piece of your mind“, but your more rational and levelheaded side will remind you that this will only send you down the rabbit hole with them, undo all your efforts to go NO CONTACT and create more abuse for you in the long run.

Why does nothing happen in the second case?

In the second case: nothing will happen, because nothing is abnormal so far. When they’ll want to contact you, they’ll contact you. If they become aware you blocked them they’ll either do nothing (disengage from), or ask what the f*** is wrong with you.

Why don't people care about you?

At first they won't care because they figure you're giving them time, then as more time passes by they realize you showing strength because you're not giving them the reaction they wanted from you. So they will try and contact you and probably with concern at first then afterwards playing victim and guilt tripping you. They hate when their plans don't work.

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