7 Ways To Win The Silent Treatment
- Be gentle in your approach. If this is not the guy's usual attitude, starting a conversation gently is a great way to start. ...
- Let him know how you feel. Getting silent treatment is very hurtful and frustrating. ...
- Acknowledge his hurt. There is a reason your partner started giving you that cold shoulder treatment. ...
- Suggest some ideas to him. Offer some tips that could help both of you resolve whatever issue is on the ground and solve the conflict causing the silent treatment.
- Ignore for a while. If you try talking to him and he doesn't respond to the silent treatment, then you should just chill for some time until he comes ...
- Preserve yourself. Some men can be very manipulative and that silent treatment behavior may be his way of getting you to succumb to his request or desires against your ...
- Be realistic. You may feel confused as to his reasons for giving you the silent treatment and you just want it to stop.
- Look for the reasons behind the silent treatment. ...
- Share the psychology behind silent treatment. ...
- Avoid reacting to silent abuse. ...
- Respond with calmness and speak kindly. ...
- State your boundaries clearly. ...
- Take care of yourself. ...
- Consider professional therapy.
How to win the silent treatment in a relationship?
How can we win the silent treatment? 1 Shrugging it off One way to understand how to win the silent treatment is to brush it off or ignore it. ... 2 Confront them People who use the silent treatment to win arguments and gain control need to understand the magnitude of their immature behavior. ... 3 Therapy
Do you give the silent treatment?
If you’ve ever found yourself in a situation where you couldn’t get someone to talk to you, or even acknowledge you, you’ve experienced the silent treatment. You may even have given it yourself at some point.
How do you deal with the silent treatment from an ex?
If you feel isolated or humiliated as a result of the silent treatment, the person may be using it as a form of emotional abuse. Be firm in addressing the silence. Say, “This is abusive and I won’t stand for it.”
How do you outsmart the silent treatment?
How to Respond When Someone Gives You the Silent TreatmentWhen it's abusive.Make it about them.Make it about you.Ignore it.Offer solutions.Stand up for yourself.What not to do.Signs of emotional abuse.More items...•
How do you win the silence treatment?
How to Respond to the Silent Treatment#1. Dig Deep Into the Whys of the Situation.#2. Use the Sandwich Method.#3. Listen and Not Just Talk.#4. Do Not Try To Win the Silent Treatment.#5. Let Go of Your Grudge.#6. Be Strong.#7. Remember: The Recipient Doesn't Always Need To Initiate.#8. Give Space and Time.More items...•
How long should the silent treatment last?
Ideally no more than 1 hour, hopefully less. Say “I will be back in *** (time) to continue the discussion” even if you can only manage to come back to agree to close it down for the time being, or take the matter to counselling.
How powerful is the silent treatment?
Findings from his in-depth analysis revealed that the silent treatment is 'tremendously' damaging to a relationship. It decreases relationship satisfaction for both partners, diminishes feelings of intimacy, and reduces the capacity to communicate in a way that's healthy and meaningful.
How can the silent treatment backfire?
If done in a friendly, gentle manner,these gestures sends the message that you aren't taking them so seriously and it gives them permission to back down and not take themselves so seriously. If your colleague or boss has no sense of humor, or is truly a narcissist, this will backfire, so be careful!
What silence does to a man?
Silence can be a very powerful way to “be” with another person, especially when they are troubled. It can communicate acceptance of the other person as they are as of a given moment, and particularly when they have strong feelings like sorrow, fear or anger.
Why is silence the best revenge?
Silence speaks volumes Believe it, the silence and zero reaction really bothers your ex, and they consider it as the best served revenge. Nothing creates more curiosity than silence. Your ex would expect a vent or an angry rant from you, but don't give in. If you do, you are meeting their expectations.
What does the silent treatment do to a woman?
In general, the silent treatment is a manipulation tactic that can leave important issues in a relationship unresolved. It also can leave the partner on the receiving end feeling worthless, unloved, hurt, confused, frustrated, angry, and unimportant.
Why is the silent treatment so hurtful?
The silent treatment is a particularly insidious form of abuse because it might force the victim to reconcile with the perpetrator in an effort to end the behavior, even if the victim doesn't know why they're apologizing. “It's especially controlling because it deprives both sides from weighing in,” Williams said.
Why is the silent treatment so powerful?
That's because the silent treatment can speak volumes, even when someone is not saying a word or limiting their conversation to short or one-syllable responses. From a psychological standpoint, this brush-off technique is largely viewed in a negative light.
Is silent treatment toxic?
It's OK if you just need some time to “cool off”. But intentional and prolonged silent treatment is a form of social ostracism that can cause severe emotional and even physical harm. It's a form of punishment and is usually employed by toxic or narcissistic individuals.
1. Be gentle in your approach
If this is not the guy's usual attitude, starting a conversation gently is a great way to start. You do not know what he is going through and he may be battling with different situations. So make sure you gently tell him you have observed the silent treatment he gives you, and you want that to change.
2. Let him know how you feel
Getting silent treatment is very hurtful and frustrating. It’s not a nice experience, and it can really drain your joy at that moment in time. It has even led to depression for some people.
3. Acknowledge his hurt
There is a reason your partner started giving you that cold shoulder treatment. So, when he finally opens up to you, acknowledge the anger and hurt that your actions or words may have caused. And if you know you are doing something wrong or toxic, try to stop it if possible.
4. Suggest some ideas to him
Offer some tips that could help both of you resolve whatever issue is on the ground and solve the conflict causing the silent treatment.
5. Ignore for a while
If you try talking to him and he doesn't respond to the silent treatment, then you should just chill for some time until he comes around. He is probably in an isolation mood and doesn’t mean any harm or maybe it is a way of keeping you under control.
6. Preserve yourself
Some men can be very manipulative and that silent treatment behavior may be his way of getting you to succumb to his request or desires against your will. And when this is the case, it
7. Be realistic
You may feel confused as to his reasons for giving you the silent treatment and you just want it to stop. But don’t ever apologize when you’ve done nothing wrong just to put an end to the fuse.
Why do people use silent treatment?
Someone might use the silent treatment as a way to avoid conflict or deflect responsibility. At times, people use the silent treatment as a way to punish another person. Ultimately, the person lacks the ability to communicate their feelings appropriately.
What to do when you know you've done something hurtful?
If you know you’re in the wrong, say something. This gives you a chance to connect with their feelings and let them know that you’re aware of the pain you’ve caused.
How to show care for yourself?
Make some time for activities you enjoy and are important to you. This is a great way to show care toward yourself and not let the other person’s actions get the best of you. For example, go for a bike ride, listen to music, paint, or play with your dog. Do the things that make you feel great.
How to stop a relationship that is unhealthy?
Finally, don’t get caught up in your feelings. Take care of yourself by doing things you enjoy, focusing on relaxation, or ending the relationship if it’s unhealthy. Steps.
How to deal with someone who has promised to change?
You cannot change someone. If the person has promised to change yet no progress has been made, take some steps to deal with emotional abuse on your own terms. Involve the support of other people. You may need to leave the relationship. Consider if this is a pattern or a one-time occurrence.
Is silent treatment a form of abuse?
Especially if the person uses the silent treatment often, recognize that this is a form of emotional abuse. Emotional abuse may go less detected than physical abuse, but it is still damaging and can affect your self-esteem, sense of self, and self-worth.
Is silent therapy good for a family?
Especially if the person is a family member, partner, or spouse, you may benefit in getting counseling together. Silent treatment is a form of stonewalling, and it does not lead to feelings of intimacy, trust, or happiness in a relationship.
How to get rid of the silent treatment?
2. Take a break. Familiarise yourself with a time-out (opens in a new tab). It’s a really useful strategy when you’re feeling too overwhelmed to think straight.
What does it mean when your partner stops talking to you?
If your partner seems to have stopped talking to you out of the blue or after a fight, clearly the two of you are having a conflict – even if you weren’t aware that you’d done something ‘wrong’.
Is silent treatment a sign of a toxic relationship?
At worst, it can be a sign of a toxic relationship. At best, it’s an unhealthy attempt to make upset and displeasure clear and to provoke guilt and atonement. The above steps will help you to handle the silent treatment with dignity.
Is the silent treatment good?
No, the silent treatment is seldom a good idea. When you’re using the silent treatment, you’re attempting to manipulate and control your partner or spouse. I can understand your resorting to not responding to your partner or spouse if they continue to batter your ears over something you really don’t want to talk about.
What is silent treatment?
The silent treatment can happen in romantic relationships or any type of relationship, including between parents and children, friends, and co-workers. It can be a fleeting reaction to a situation in which one person feels angry, frustrated, or too overwhelmed to deal with a problem.
What to do when your spouse is silent?
If it’s your spouse or partner, you both may benefit from couples counseling or individual therapy to learn better ways to manage conflicts. When the silent treatment is part of the larger issue of emotional abuse, don’t blame yourself. It’s not your fault.
How to deal with emotional abuse?
Make it about you. Ignore it. Offer solutions. Stand up for yourself. What not to do. Signs of emotional abuse. Get help. Takeaway. If you’ve ever found yourself in a situation where you couldn’t get someone to talk to you, or even acknowledge you, you’ve experienced the silent treatment.
How does being ostracized affect your self esteem?
Research shows that frequently feeling ostracized can reduce your self-esteem and sense of belonging. It can leave you feeling like you’re without control. This effect may be more intense when it’s done by someone close to you as a form of punishment. know the signs.
What to do when things escalate to emotional abuse?
When things escalate to emotional abuse, you’re not in a healthy relationship. It’s time to put yourself first. If you believe the relationship is worth salvaging: Set firm boundaries about what acceptable behavior is and how you expect to be treated.
Why do people go silent?
But some people use the silent treatment as a tool for exerting power over someone or creating emotional distance.
Is silent treatment a good way to communicate?
While it’s not always malicious, the silent treatment certainly isn’t a healthy way to communicate. If the silent treatment looms large in your life, there are steps you can take to improve your relationship or remove yourself from an abusive situation. Last medically reviewed on April 30, 2019.
What is silent treatment?
The silent treatment is an abusive method of control, punishment, avoidance, or disempowerment (some times these four typesoverlap, sometimes not) that is a favorite tactic of narcissists, and especially thosewho have a hard time with impulse control, that is, those with more infantile tendencies. The silent treatment can be used as anabusive tactic ...
What to do if your boss has no sense of humor?
If your colleague or boss has no sense of humor, or is truly a narcissist, this will backfire, so be careful! The main thing is to develop a strong sense of self and not let it get to you. Remember, you can only change your behavior, not anyone else’s.
What does it mean when an abuser refuses to speak to you?
When the abuser gives you the cold-shoulder and refuses to speak to you because you’ve said/done something that bothers them and will not accept any reasonably sincere apology. This is punishing you with silence.
What to say to a parent who doesn't live with you?
If you are on the receiving end of a snippy, clipped semi-silent treatment, you can say something like: Dad/Mom, I love you so much and I want our relationship to be enjoyable and supportive.
Can laughing at someone incite them?
Laughing at them will only incite or enrage them, but if they use the silent-treatment regularly or other controlling, disempowering tactics, a sigh, smile and shake of the head (with maybe a strategic eye roll) can diffuse the situation.
Can you swim with a cut on your finger?
This can be tricky but rule number one is: Don’t go swimming in shark infested waters while you have a cut on your finger. One sniff of blood in the form of any weak or emotional response to the silent treatment and the narcissist will go for the kill. Instead, appear (and truly feel, if possible) relaxed and positive.
Can I go to therapy with my spouse?
Getting your spouseto go to therapy with you may not always be possible, but if the relationships is important to them and you feel that their behavior is irreparably damaging it, you might be in a position to strongly encourage even demand it of them. If not, go to therapy on your own so you can learn how to handle their behavior in a way ...
How long does silent treatment last?
If after you have done all this, and the silent treatment carries on for days or weeks at a time, it’s a good bet that you need to seriously evaluate your relationship.
Why do I need to take a breather after a fight?
After or during a fight, it is important that you take a breather in order to gather your thoughts and calm yourself down. But, entirely ignoring your partner and their efforts to repair the situation is not the way to go. Even though, it might seem difficult to communicate with your partner, when you are upset, do it.
Is silent treatment better than screaming?
For many people, silent treatment may seem like a better option, than engaging in a full-blown fight. They feel that the whole screaming-and-shouting thing is way more draining than just keeping some distance from their partners. However, constantly indulging in silent treatment will do your relationship more harm than good, in the long run.
Is the silent treatment fair?
But the silent treatment isn’t fair, and it’s harmful to both parties. For the one giving the silent treatment, it’s like drinking rat poison and expecting the other person to die. The receiving end of the silent treatment isn’t easy either. You shouldn’t be a doormat.
What is silent treatment?
The silent treatment is emotional abuse. When a victim is in a relationship with a person who causes the above mentioned distress, her mind and body remember how upsettingand anxiety provoking theprevioussilent treatment occurrences were.
Why is silent treatment not blatant?
The only person who really feels the silent treatment is the target. The person giving the silent treatment is not being overtly aggressive, abusive, or unkind in any visible way. This keeps himlooking “good” and reasonable.
Who said "Codependent no more"?
Melody Beattie, the Codependent No More author, has a great line for when a codependent doesn’tlike what the addict in herlife is doing. I think the quote is perfect for those dealing with the silent treatment. I recommend that you make it your own; it is: ” Celebrate the ‘no’!
