how to get back at someone who gives you the silent treatment

1. Take a gentle approach: Make it about them. If this isn’t something the other person regularly does to you, a gentle approach might be a good way to get ...
2. Or, make it about you. Tell the person how the silent treatment hurts and leaves you feeling frustrated and alone. ...
3. Ignore it until it blows over. The silent treatment isn’t always meant to inflict wounds. Sometimes, it’s an isolated incident that gets out of hand.
4. Offer solutions. Suggest a face-to-face meeting to hammer out some rules for better communication in the future. ...
5. Stand up for yourself. When things escalate to emotional abuse, you’re not in a healthy relationship. It’s time to put yourself first.

What to do when someone gives you the silent treatment?

Putting up with silent treatment can take its toll on you. You may become angry, depressed, and anxious because of how you’re being treated. In that case, seek professional help. If possible, ask the person giving you the silent treatment to go into therapy with you.

What happens when a man gives you the silent treatment?

If you’re on the receiving end of this kind of treatment, you might feel completely ostracized. People who use the silent treatment as a means of control want to put you in your place. They’ll give you the cold shoulder for days or weeks on end to achieve those goals. This is emotional abuse.

Do you have to apologize to someone who gave you the silent treatment?

However, they may need to apologize if they have said or done something that may have hurt the other person’s feelings. Sometimes, a person may give someone the silent treatment because they are too angry, hurt, or overwhelmed to speak.

What does it feel like when your partner gives you the silent treatment?

You’ll surely know what it feels like when someone gives you the silent treatment. They simply stop talking to you – for hours, days or even weeks. Your partner will ignore you, deliberately avoid and cold-shoulder you.

What to say to someone who is giving you the silent treatment?

Tell the person how the silent treatment hurts and leaves you feeling frustrated and alone. That's not what you want or need in a relationship. Explain that you can't resolve issues this way, then be specific about those issues. If this sort of behavior is a relationship deal-breaker for you, state it plainly.

Why would someone give you the silent treatment?

Although a perpetrator might use the silent treatment in many different scenarios, this is what every scenario has in common: “People use the silent treatment because they can get away with it without looking abusive to others,” Williams explained, “and because it's highly effective in making the targeted individual ...

How do you deal with the silent treatment with dignity?

Maintain your dignity and try these six strategies.Look for the reasons behind the silent treatment. ... Share the psychology behind silent treatment. ... Avoid reacting to silent abuse. ... Respond with calmness and speak kindly. ... State your boundaries clearly. ... Take care of yourself. ... Consider professional therapy.

How long should the silent treatment last?

Ideally no more than 1 hour, hopefully less. Say “I will be back in *** (time) to continue the discussion” even if you can only manage to come back to agree to close it down for the time being, or take the matter to counselling.

Is silent treatment a red flag?

The Silent Treatment is Your S.O.'s Main Conflict Technique If you're in a relationship, conflicts and arguments come with the territory. Managing these conflicts and working through them together are a necessary part of developing a healthy relationship, which makes the silent treatment a huge red flag.

How do you break a silent relationship?

10 steps to break relationship silenceText a thoughtful message.Make a phone call.Apologize.Schedule a coffee date.Avoid reacting to toxicity.Give the other person space.Workshops or classes.Use the situation to create boundaries.More items...•

Does silent treatment mean break up?

The silent treatment is a particularly toxic form of behavior that can lead to the breakdown of relationships. When a partner gives you the silent treatment, you might feel a crazy need to make him talk.

What to do when someone shuts you out?

What to say to someone when they are shutting you out“I understand you're feeling…”“I've given you a lot to consider. I'll give you time to digest.”“Let's take a breather and come back to this another time.”“I'm sorry I said…” or “I'm sorry I didn't…”“I'm not upset with you. ... “When you ignore me I feel…”

Why do people use the Silent Treatment?

Why do we continue to use ‘the silent treatment’ if it is so destructive? It gets back to basics—‘hurting people hurt people’—and research shows that ‘the silent treatment’ is particularly effective in causing damage. No one wants to be on the receiving end of this form of treatment, and we all know it.

What is the Silent Treatment?

Who of us isn’t guilty of giving someone a strong dose of the silent treatment? Feelings bruised from words spoken or actions taken, we retreat into our silent world, all the while hoping our actions make our mate pay for the harm they’ve done to us.

What Harm Does The Silent Treatment Cause?

In some primitive societies, ostracism (which is a total exclusion–as if the person did not exist) can lead to death in some cases. While shunning & ostracism probably won’t kill you, it certainly can feel bad.

How to get rid of the silent treatment?

2. Take a break. Familiarise yourself with a time-out (opens in a new tab). It’s a really useful strategy when you’re feeling too overwhelmed to think straight.

What is “the silent treatment” and how can you win it?

You’ll surely know what it feels like when someone gives you the silent treatment. They simply stop talking to you – for hours, days or even weeks.

Why does your spouse or partner ignore you?

The question I often get asked is: “Why do guys give the silent treatment?”

What does it mean when you use the silent treatment?

When you’re using the silent treatment, you’re attempting to manipulate and control your partner or spouse.

What to do if you're in a long distance relationship?

If you’re dating or are in a long-distance relationship and you’re being given the silent treatment, stop writing, texting or calling right away! You’re either being manipulated, or the relationship has ended.

What does it mean when your partner stops talking to you?

If your partner seems to have stopped talking to you out of the blue or after a fight, clearly the two of you are having a conflict – even if you weren’t aware that you’d done something ‘wrong’.

Do you need to worry about silent treatment?

If you’re using a more helpful way of communicating and argue fairly, you won’t need to worry about the silent treatment backfiring.

What to do if your partner gives you the silent treatment?

To sum up, if your partner gives you the silent treatment more than you feel is reasonable, look inward at how much support you provide for your partner’s self-worth. Both you and your partner need to feel this deep sense of value to have a fulfilling relationship that lasts over time.

Is silence better than conversation?

Silence can sometimes be better than conversation, especially if you and your partner need to take a break from an argument and just cool off. When one partner refuses to speak, however, the silence can seem unbearable, especially if it continues. In the dirty dishes scenario, it would seem like your partner is resorting to silence as a way ...

Who should take steps to address silent treatment?

People who regularly use or experience the silent treatment should take steps to address it.

What is silent treatment?

Summary. The silent treatment is a refusal to communicate verbally with another person. People who use the silent treatment may even refuse to acknowledge the presence of the other person. People use the silent treatment in many types of relationship, including romantic relationships. It can sometimes be a form of emotional abuse.

Why is silent treatment important?

for healthy relationships. Using the silent treatment prevents people from resolving their conflicts in a helpful way. When one partner wants to talk about a problem but the other withdraws, it can cause negative emotions such as anger and distress.

How does silent treatment affect relationships?

How it affects relationships. In most cases, using the silent treatment is not a productive way to deal with a disagreement. Research indicates that both men and women use the silent treatment in relationships. However, clear and direct communication is essential. for healthy relationships.

Why do people stay silent in a conversation?

These include: Avoidance: In some cases, people stay silent in a conversation because they do not know what to say or want to avoid conflict. Communication: A person may use the silent treatment if they do not know how to express their feelings but want their partner to know that they are upset.

Why do couples need counseling?

Couples who have difficulty communicating effectively may benefit from counseling. A therapist can help the partners express their feelings so that they can resolve conflicts in a healthy way.

How does silence end?

the silence lasts for extended periods of time. the silence only ends when they decide it does. they talk to other people but not to their partner. they seek alliances from others. they use silence to blame their partner and make them feel guilty.

What to do if you are silent?

If you are experiencing the silent treatment from someone you love, then therapy may be the only answer. This only works if your partner is willing to go to therapy in order to move forward. Unfortunately, so many people like using the silent treatment and don’t want a therapist taking that weapon away.

How can we win the silent treatment?

You have to stop the silent treatment from being used against you in order to retain your self-esteem and dignity. There are a few ways you can learn how to win the silent treatment.

What is selfish treatment?

The selfish. People who haven’t been taught to care effectively for others in a household will use the silent treatment on a regular basis. Selfish people care for themselves over others and when something doesn’t go their way, they ignore others to make a statement.

Why do people use the silent treatment?

People who use the silent treatment to win arguments and gain control need to understand the magnitude of their immature behavior. Confrontation lets them know that you see what they are doing and you understand the tactics they use. After telling them the truth, you can laugh about it.

What does it mean when something isn't going their way?

When something isn’t going their way, they know that their silent treatment may be the only real key to turning the tables and getting exactly what they want, after all. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t. This all depends on the strength and maturity of their intended target. 2. The narcissist.

What happens when you are stuck in victim mentality?

So, when they are confronted with something they are doing wrong, they will grow silent and attempt to force their way.

What is a narcissist?

The narcissist. The narcissist is a troubled and sad individual. Among their weapons of choice, like their other manipulation techniques, they also utilize the silent treatment. The narcissist, since they are void of all original inner substance, will use the silent treatment to further establish who they are.

How to respond to silent treatment?

Here are some ways to respond to the silent treatment. 1. Take Time to Cool Off. During a time of silence both partners should pause to reflect on what led up to the silent treatment episode, especially if it was preceded by an argument, fight, or emotional outburst.

What Is the Silent Treatment in a Relationship?

The silent treatment is when one person in a relationship ignores the other person, refusing to acknowledge them verbally or through any other method. This usually happens after an argument, but it can also happen when the silent partner is angry, and the other person doesn't know why.

What does it mean when a man says he's busy but he acts disinterested?

In other words, "He says he's busy, but he acts disinterested" means he's probably disinterested. This is especially true if you called his attention to it and he hasn't tried to improve things and hasn't taken your complaint seriously.

How long should you be honest with someone who has silent treatment?

I say you should blow someone's mind by being honest when someone carries on the silent treatment past 48 hours. Just tell you're partner very calmly that while you understand they are upset, a sufficient amount of time has passed for them to process the situation.

What does it mean when a silent partner is attempting to escape another toxic dynamic?

In some cases, the silent partner is attempting to escape another toxic dynamic. If you are trying to force them to change or do things your way, you're giving them a reason to withdraw. If you criticize them as a person or assigning blame instead of focusing on finding solutions, you're contributing to the dynamic.

How to deal with a silent spouse?

Give Your Partner Space to Think. Avoid trying to figure out what your silent partner or spouse is thinking. You're not a mind-reader. The silent treatment is a passive-aggressive form of communication. If you do their thinking for them, they won't learn how to be direct when sharing their thoughts and feelings.

How to control your partner?

Changing Your Approach to the Relationship 1 Remind yourself that your partner feels uncertain and out of control. 2 Do not resort to sulking, pouting, or badgering. Try to maintain a calm attitude if you can. Take a walk to get a breath of air. 3 Consider whether you too might be trying to control the relationship more than your partner is comfortable with.

1. Try to find the root of the problem

Even though you’re going through a rollercoaster of emotions right now, when your partner decides to give you the silent treatment, you have to pause for a second and try to find the cause of your problem.

2. Wear your heart on your sleeve

In most cases, if we’re hurt by someone close to our heart, most of us tend to build walls around our hearts so that it never happens again. We suppress those emotions and refuse to deal with them.

3. Find a common ground

Granted, relationships require much effort on both ends, but it’s really up to you to determine whether your partner is really worth it.

4. Give both of you some time to cool off

If you’re the one who’s receiving the silent treatment, then don’t go chasing your partner and trying to talk with him right away. Instead, give the both of you some time to cool off.

5. Be polite to each other

There are different types of communication. And yelling and screaming at each other is one type, but it won’t help you solve anything.

What to say when someone gives you the silent treatment?

What to Say When Someone Is Giving You the Silent Treatment. There are few things more alienating than being in a relationship with someone who won’t speak to you. The constant stonewalling can feel maddening; when someone gives you the silent treatment, it’s easy for your mind to run amok, racing through frantic thoughts about what you did wrong. ...

What is the silent treatment?

You’re probably familiar with the term. It boils down to one person in a relationship ignoring a significant other, friend, child, or family member for significant periods of time. On occasion, the person doing it might not even indicate why they’ve gone silent.

Why do different personality types use the silent treatment?

Daryl Austin writes in The Atlantic that different personality types use the silent treatment for different reasons: The silent treatment might be employed by passive personality types to avoid conflict and confrontation, while strong personality types use it to punish or control. Some people may not even consciously choose it at all.

How to address a problem with a partner?

One rather iffy way to address the problem might be to wait it out, in the hopes that it blows over. This could theoretically work, if your partner is just working through something on their own that they’ll eventually put behind them.

How to address a speaker's feelings?

One way of addressing the issue is by calling it out directly, but never in an accusatory or hostile way. The psychiatrist Elizabeth Gordon recently told Fatherly that someone on the receiving-end should use I-statements, which clarify how the speaker feels. You can do this by saying “I’ve noticed you’ve been very quiet lately,” or “It feels like you’re shutting me out,” for example.

Why do people stop verbal communication?

There’s no universal reason why someone might cease all verbal communication, but an underlying facet of the silent treatment is that when it occurs , it’s more due to the silent person’s own issues than anything else. Daryl Austin writes in The Atlantic that different personality types use the silent treatment for different reasons: ...

Why is isolation considered abuse?

In the long term, the stress can be considered abuse.

How to cope with silent treatment abuse?

The silent treatment hurts, and it’s hard not to react. But one way to cope with silent treatment abuse is acting as fi it doesn’t affect you — even when it does.

What to do when your partner is silent?

During a calm period after your partner has punished you with silence, give him or her some information about silent treatment abuse. Discuss the effects of silent treatment on trust and intimacy in your relationship. This behavior is hostile even though it’s wrapped in a cloak of silence.

What is silent treatment?

The silent treatment is a passive-aggressive tactic people use in relationships when they want to punish or wound you. Either they can’t or won’t communicate their feelings maturely, so they clam up and leaving wondering what’s going on.

How to deal with a silent friend?

Keep your cool and recognize that your silent friend or partner is trying to speak volumes but just can’t manage the words. Maintain your dignity and try these six strategies. 1. Look for the reasons behind the silent treatment. People who give the silent treatment aren’t always doing it out of malice.

How to deal with silence in a relationship?

Calmly make it clear to him/her that you won’t allow silence to be used as punishment against you. 4. Respond with calmness and speak kindly. If you’re getting the silent treatment in a relationship, you will have to confront your partner at some point, even if your partner resists.

Why do people use silence?

Silence may be golden sometimes, but it can also be a weapon. People use it to punish, control, manipulate, disempower, or run away from a person or problem. People who use silent treatment to manipulate often have the following characteristics: They never learned to express themselves assertively or maturely.

What to do if someone refuses to meet you?

Should the person refuse, schedule appointments for yourself anyway. Prepare to pack up and leave the relationship if things take a turn for the worse.