Treatment FAQ

why is my ex giving me the silent treatment

by Dr. Angel Johnston V Published 2 years ago Updated 2 years ago
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He may be giving you the silent treatment because he doesn’t want to fall back into old habits. He knows that the feelings are still there and it’s only the distance that will stop the both of you from messing around and ending up together again. He needs a fresh start

Full Answer

What to say when your ex gives you the silent treatment?

So, if your ex is currently giving you the silent treatment, you need to focus on giving her the things that she felt was lacking in her relationship with you. For example: If you were insecure in the relationship and reacted by becoming clingy and needy, you are now confident and emotionally independent.

Why does my partner give me the silent treatment?

Apr 07, 2021 · There are two main applications for why an ex would use the silent treatment on you: they want to win the breakup or they want to hurt you. But ultimately if you can get them to go through their rollercoaster of emotions while fighting fire with fire (by using the no contact rule on them), you can level the playing field and change their paradigm.

Does silence work when you are done with someone?

Jun 05, 2018 · By giving you the silent treatment, your partner wants you to know that he or she is displeased and is intent on punishing you. Stonewalling Stonewalling will have started when your partner cut you off in the middle of an argument. They will have refused to talk further and may even have abruptly left the room or the house.

Is it normal for a man to give the silent treatment?

Jan 01, 2016 · Jan 1, 2016. If there’s something I have learned from relationships’ past, it’s this: silence works a treat (hence the term silent treat ment) when you are truly done with someone. The difference between girls and guys is that while we love to get all of our feelings out, they prefer to bottle them up. After a breakup, we’re usually tearing ourselves apart because we’re …

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What does silence from an ex mean?

Radio silence simply refers to the act of being distant from your partner in order to make him come back to you. When done the right way, it allows your ex to miss and crave you more. It reaffirms and reawakens the feels he has for you, compelling him to come back.

How do you respond to silent treatment?

How to respondName the situation. Acknowledge that someone is using the silent treatment. ... Use 'I' statements. ... Acknowledge the other person's feelings. ... Apologize for words or actions. ... Cool off and arrange a time to resolve the issue. ... Avoid unhelpful responses.Jun 8, 2020

What does silent treatment do to an ex?

What does the silent treatment do to someone? If someone has committed a mistake, the silent treatment helps them take a step back and process the situation. It allows them time to reflect and think about the actions that they have committed. A lot runs through one's head during this time.Nov 27, 2021

How long does silent treatment last?

If the perpetrator still refuses to acknowledge the victim's existence for long periods of time, it might be right to leave the relationship. In the end, whether it lasts four hours or four decades, the silent treatment says more about the person doing it than it does about the person receiving it.Mar 26, 2021

Does silent treatment mean break up?

The silent treatment is a particularly toxic form of behavior that can lead to the breakdown of relationships. When a partner gives you the silent treatment, you might feel a crazy need to make him talk.

What type of person gives the silent treatment?

Research. Researchers have found that the silent treatment is used by both men and women to terminate a partner's behaviors or words rather than to elicit them. 1 In abusive relationships, the silent treatment is used to manipulate the other person and to establish power over them.Jun 1, 2020

Do they come back after silent treatment?

Yes! They most often come back after ending the relationship if there is still enough supply for them.Jun 18, 2013

Why men go silent after break up?

"When men are giving silent treatment after a breakup," says Hypnotherapist Keya Murthy, "they are dealing with the hurt on their own. This is their way of letting the other know 'I need a time out so I can heal. '"Aug 10, 2021

How do I know if my breakup is final?

9 Ways to Tell if Your Breakup Will LastIt doesn't hurt … much. ... There's physical distance. ... Your friends don't like your ex. ... There's someone new in the picture. ... You've done "on-again, off-again" before. ... You're good at impulse-control. ... You tolerate negative emotions well. ... You have good boundaries.More items...•Jan 2, 2017

Why is silence the best revenge?

Silence speaks volumes Believe it, the silence and zero reaction really bothers your ex, and they consider it as the best served revenge. Nothing creates more curiosity than silence. Your ex would expect a vent or an angry rant from you, but don't give in. If you do, you are meeting their expectations.Sep 9, 2019

What does it mean when your ex is silent?

In other words, an ex who is not in love with you anymore is just going to ignore you and cut you out of their life completely. Now, this might make you think that if your ex is silent after the breakup, they’re definitely trying to get over you.

Why doesn't my ex want to come back?

Not only is that hurtful, but it’s also ineffective. Your ex won’t want to come back because you hurt them, they’ll want to come back to have a life with you.

What to do after a breakup?

One of our most popular strategies after a breakup is the no-contact rule . The no contact rule is where you are ignoring your ex for a period of time with the intent of outgrowing them and usually, if you do this properly it can make them miss you. Then you get back in touch with them and begin the process of reconciliation.

Is there a no contact rule after a breakup?

Effectiveness Of The No Contact Rule After A Breakup. Most people see the no contact rule as this strategy to make your ex miss you but over the years we’ve evolved the intended purpose of the no contact rule according to what works in real life. Going into a no-contact rule with the intent to make your ex miss you often fails.

How to get rid of the silent treatment?

2. Take a break. Familiarise yourself with a time-out (opens in a new tab). It’s a really useful strategy when you’re feeling too overwhelmed to think straight.

What does it mean when your partner stops talking to you?

If your partner seems to have stopped talking to you out of the blue or after a fight, clearly the two of you are having a conflict – even if you weren’t aware that you’d done something ‘wrong’.

Is the silent treatment good?

No, the silent treatment is seldom a good idea. When you’re using the silent treatment, you’re attempting to manipulate and control your partner or spouse. I can understand your resorting to not responding to your partner or spouse if they continue to batter your ears over something you really don’t want to talk about.

Can you change your partner's therapy?

you are not your partner’s therapist. you cannot change your partner, and neither should you change yourself to fit in with their demands beyond reasonable compromises. ‘giving back’ the silent treatment will result in a competition detrimental to the survival of your relationship.

Is silent treatment a sign of a toxic relationship?

At worst, it can be a sign of a toxic relationship. At best, it’s an unhealthy attempt to make upset and displeasure clear and to provoke guilt and atonement. The above steps will help you to handle the silent treatment with dignity.

Is it safe to ignore your spouse?

Keep in mind…. there are no benefits of the silent treatment, though your spouse or partner may feel safer having built a wall of silence around them. you have the right to feel safe in your relationship – physically and emotionally – when your spouse ignores you, it’s hard to feel safe.

What is silent treatment?

The silent treatment can happen in romantic relationships or any type of relationship, including between parents and children, friends, and co-workers. It can be a fleeting reaction to a situation in which one person feels angry, frustrated, or too overwhelmed to deal with a problem.

Why do people go silent?

But some people use the silent treatment as a tool for exerting power over someone or creating emotional distance.

What to do when your spouse is silent?

If it’s your spouse or partner, you both may benefit from couples counseling or individual therapy to learn better ways to manage conflicts. When the silent treatment is part of the larger issue of emotional abuse, don’t blame yourself. It’s not your fault.

How to deal with emotional abuse?

Make it about you. Ignore it. Offer solutions. Stand up for yourself. What not to do. Signs of emotional abuse. Get help. Takeaway. If you’ve ever found yourself in a situation where you couldn’t get someone to talk to you, or even acknowledge you, you’ve experienced the silent treatment.

How does being ostracized affect your self esteem?

Research shows that frequently feeling ostracized can reduce your self-esteem and sense of belonging. It can leave you feeling like you’re without control. This effect may be more intense when it’s done by someone close to you as a form of punishment. know the signs.

What to do when things escalate to emotional abuse?

When things escalate to emotional abuse, you’re not in a healthy relationship. It’s time to put yourself first. If you believe the relationship is worth salvaging: Set firm boundaries about what acceptable behavior is and how you expect to be treated.

Is silent treatment a good way to communicate?

While it’s not always malicious, the silent treatment certainly isn’t a healthy way to communicate. If the silent treatment looms large in your life, there are steps you can take to improve your relationship or remove yourself from an abusive situation. Last medically reviewed on April 30, 2019.

Why do people use the silent treatment?

People generally resort to using the silent treatment as a means of placing them in a position of control (often because they feel helpless in the face of their situations, their feelings, etc.). A person may also use the silent treatment to avoid personal responsibility for his own actions or to suppress a partner's attempts at asserting self-worth. Additionally, he may be employing the silent treatment predominantly due to a lack of ability to properly communicate. Most likely though, it's attributable to a combination of the above factors.

What is silent treatment?

The Silent Treatment Is Emotional Abuse. The silent treatment is your partner's way of telling you that you have done something wrong. As a consequence of this, he refuses to acknowledge or communicate with you. This is passive-aggressive emotional abuse.

What is considered an emotionally abusive relationship?

In the larger sense, a relationship can be considered emotionally abusive when one person consistently—whether fully intentional or not—uses abusive, hurtful language and bullying, intimidating behaviors to break down a person's self-esteem and self-worth and undermine their mental and emotional health.

What does it mean when your partner is ignored?

In doing so, your partner is attempting to induce feelings of powerlessness and shame. This is known as psychological or emotional abuse.

Is refusing to speak to someone without terms for repair a healthy activity?

As Schulman notes, 'Refusing to speak to someone without terms for repair is a strange, childish act of destruction in which nothing can be won'. Taking time out of a relationship can be a healthy activity, if done in the correct way and with the correct intent. You do it to save the relationship and not jeopardise it.

Is it normal to cool off?

From time to time, everyone needs to take some time out of their relationship. This is perfectly normal and often used to resolve conflict in healthy relationships. Nonetheless, this should not be confused with being given the silent treatment. Cooling off is usually implemented as a constructive means of finding a solution to problems that you and your partner may be having.

Is it normal to be silent?

Answer: It is never normal to be subjected to the silent treatment, which is a form of emotional abuse. However, don't confuse this with periods of 'cooling off' or taking 'time out.'. It is perfectly natural for couples to disagree and need some time alone to reflect and gather their thoughts.

Why do people use the silent treatment?

People who use the silent treatment to win arguments and gain control need to understand the magnitude of their immature behavior. Confrontation lets them know that you see what they are doing and you understand the tactics they use. After telling them the truth, you can laugh about it.

What to do if you are silent?

If you are experiencing the silent treatment from someone you love, then therapy may be the only answer. This only works if your partner is willing to go to therapy in order to move forward. Unfortunately, so many people like using the silent treatment and don’t want a therapist taking that weapon away.

What is selfish treatment?

The selfish. People who haven’t been taught to care effectively for others in a household will use the silent treatment on a regular basis. Selfish people care for themselves over others and when something doesn’t go their way, they ignore others to make a statement.

How to win silent treatment?

1. Shrugging it off. One way to understand how to win the silent treatment is to brush it off or ignore it. If you aren’t necessarily in a close relationship with the person who is giving you the silent treatment, you may be able to just move on and act like nothing happened.

What happens when you are stuck in victim mentality?

So, when they are confronted with something they are doing wrong, they will grow silent and attempt to force their way.

What does it mean when something isn't going their way?

When something isn’t going their way, they know that their silent treatment may be the only real key to turning the tables and getting exactly what they want, after all. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t. This all depends on the strength and maturity of their intended target. 2. The narcissist.

What happens if you continue the silent treatment?

If you still continue the silent treatment, the narcissist may finally abandon you and move on with new narcissistic supply and new victims.

What is the silent treatment?

The silent treatment is the no1 weapon used by narcissists during which the narcissist acts as if you are non-existent and even refuses to communicate, even if you tried doing so. So, what happens when this silent-treatment is reversed?

How long does it take for a narcissist to come back to you?

Unable to feel being ignored, his inflated ego starts hitting him harder and harder. So, after giving silent treatment for a few weeks , the narcissist will likely come back to you. He may start chasing you so that he can get back his narcissistic supply like before.

Why does a narcissist block you?

The Narcissist may even block you on all his social media accounts and try to act extra friendlier with others, so that he can get more eyeballs from you. His routine bragging and show-off start to begin, just to show you that he is the most valuable person and prove that you are missing a great treasure ignoring him.

Do narcissists beg you?

While some narcissists may beg and request you while some others may shout and begin a fight with you. The hurt ego of the narcissist makes him vulnerable and pushes him to do weird things just ...

Can a narcissist demean you?

In fact, it is not uncommon for a narcissist to demean you or abuse you in front of others and even at the back of you. Also, the narcissist may replace you with another person, just to trigger emotions of jealousy in you. As more and more days pass by, more signs will start to appear. All with the motive to grab your attention at any cost.

Can a narcissist live without talking to you?

The narcissist may even believe that you can’t live without talking to the narcissist. So, when days start to pass by and if you still continue to give the silent treatment to the narcissist, the actual drama start to begin..

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