Just say something. Many people ignore cancer patients and caregivers when they're diagnosed because they don't know what to say. But that only makes them feel worse. Sometimes "hello" or "I love you" is enough. "You are strong. You can do this."
Full Answer
What do you say to a cancer patient who is working?
“Don’t worry about work.” Only say this, of course, if you are willing to pitch in or if you are the person’s boss and can assure them not to worry. In a survey of more than 600 survivors, this comment was valued greatly by working cancer patients. “I am thinking of you.”
What is something you should not say to someone with cancer?
Do NOT say « Cancer stinks ». Cancer is a dreadfully smart disease , it needs to be treated with intelligence and dedication. Not to be liken to garbage…
What should you not say to a coworker with cancer?
Here, what the experts suggest not saying to a colleague with cancer: “I know how you feel.” Even if you were diagnosed with the same kind of cancer, you can’t know how the coworker feels. There are just too many variables. The patient may be thinking, rightfully, “How on earth can you know what I am going through?”
What to do when your cancer treatment stops working?
When your cancer treatment stops working - Your treatment choices may include 1 Chemotherapy (chemo). 2 Immunotherapy. 3 Targeted therapy. 4 Hormone therapy.
What do you say when someone stops cancer treatment?
Here are some ideas:"I'm not sure what to say, but I want you to know I care"."I'm sorry to hear that you are going through this"."How are you doing?""If you would like to talk about it, I'm here"."Please let me know how I can help"."I'll keep you in my thoughts".
What do you say to someone who is struggling with chemo?
If you're struggling to find the right words, here are 12 kind things to say to someone with cancer:“I'm here for you.” ... “You are in my thoughts and prayers.” ... “I'm so sorry you're going through this.” ... “Let me help you with…” ... Tell a Joke. ... “How are you doing?” ... “Any time you need to talk, I'll listen.”More items...
What should you not say to someone with battling cancer?
What not to say to someone who has cancer“Everything is going to be OK.” ... “I had a friend who died of cancer.” ... “I know exactly how you feel.” ... “You're lucky it's XYZ cancer instead of ABC cancer.” ... “You look great! ... “Don't compare your breast augmentation, reduction, or lift to their mastectomy.”More items...•
What do you say to someone battling cancer?
Helpful Things to Say to a Person with Cancer“I don't know exactly what to say, but please know how much I care.”“What can I do for you?”“I'm always here if you ever want to talk.”“I'm so sorry this happened to you.”Use humor, but only if you know it will be received positively. ... No words, just listen.
What do you say to someone with terminal illness?
Don't say, “It's going to be OK” ... But do say something. ... Do make clear that you'll be there for them. ... Do be careful about saying, “I'll pray for you” ... Do try to create a semblance of normalcy. ... Do ask how they're doing — today. ... Do be a good listener. ... Don't get squirmy at the end.
How can I help someone going through chemo?
19 ways to help someone during cancer treatmentTake care of the grocery shopping, or order groceries online and have them delivered.Help keep their household running. ... Bring a cup of tea or coffee and stop by for a visit. ... Give the primary caregiver a break. ... Drive the patient to appointments.More items...•
What does a cancer patient want to hear?
Instead of hearing “What can I do?” cancer patients want to hear that you already have a specific task in mind. Many cancer patients will decline needing help when they are asked the broad question “What can I help with?” Choose something specific and get started on it.
How do you help a cancer patient emotionally?
Here are 7 tips to maintain or improve emotional well-being for cancer patients and caregivers:Talk to someone who is not a family member. ... Continue with daily activities, but modify if necessary. ... Plan ahead. ... Find support that works for you. ... Balance in-person and online support. ... Tap your community. ... Reach out.
What should you not say to a terminal illness?
What not to say to someone who is dyingDon't ask 'How are you?' ... Don't just focus on their illness. ... Don't make assumptions. ... Don't describe them as 'dying' ... Don't wait for them to ask.
What do you write in a cancer card for encouragement?
1. This must be a really tough time for you, but I wanted to let you know that I'm so impressed by your courage and endurance. 2. You are so determined to beat this cancer, and I'm so proud of you.
What are the emotional stages of cancer?
The Five Stages of Dealing with a Cancer DiagnosisState 1: Denial. ... Stage 2: Anger. ... Stage 3: Bargaining. ... Stage 4: Sadness and depression. ... Stage 5: Acceptance.
What is a good prayer for someone with cancer?
Let your presence fill me with faith and hope, knowing that your power is greater than any cancer and you are with me as I continue to fight the good fight to free my body of this disease. Merciful Jesus, you have compassion on the sick and heal them.
How to treat cancer side effects?
Targeted therapy. Hormone therapy. Talk with your provider about your options and weigh the risks and benefits. Most cancer treatments have side effects that can affect the quality of your life. Some people decide that the side effects are not worth the small benefit from treatment. Other people choose to continue treatment for as long as possible.
What is it called when cancer stops working?
But not all cancer can be cured. Sometimes, treatment stops working or the cancer reaches a stage where it cannot be treated. This is called advanced cancer.
What is the best treatment for cancer?
Palliative care. This is treatment that helps prevent and treat symptoms and side effects from cancer. It can also help you with emotional and spiritual struggles while facing cancer. Palliative care can help improve your quality of life. You may receive this type of care at every stage of cancer treatment. Hospice care.
How to make your emotions less intense?
Sharing your feelings with others can help make your emotions feel less intense. You can join a support group for people with cancer or meet with a counselor or clergy member. Keep doing things you enjoy. Plan your day as you normally would and try to do things you enjoy. You could even take a class in something new.
What to do when you're celebrating the end of your life?
Some people choose to create special ways to celebrate their lives. Consider making a scrapbook, making jewelry or art, writing poetry, planting a garden, making a video, or writing down memories from your past. It's not easy to face the end of your life.
How to keep important documents together?
This includes your will, trusts, insurance records, and bank statements. Keep them in a safe deposit box or with your lawyer. Make sure the people who will manage your affairs know where these documents are.
Is it normal to feel anger when you have cancer?
As a person with cancer, you may have felt anger, denial, sadness, anxiety, grief, fear, or regret. These feelings may be even more intense now. It's normal to feel a range of emotions. How you deal with your feelings is up to you. Here are things that may help.
Does alcohol cause liver cancer?
Yes, the risk of liver cancer ( and other cancers) is linked with excess alcohol intake. Lung cancer is tied with smoking, although many nonsmokers get it, too. Yes, it’s natural to wonder. Shelve it as an unanswered question. If the person did smoke or drink, what value is there in knowing, other than satisfying your curiosity? Answering will only bring them down and in some cases make them feel guilty — neither of which is helpful to them.
Is it hard to have a coworker with cancer?
Your thoughts race as you rehearse something heartfelt. If it’s the first time you’ve had a coworker diagnosed with cancer, it’s probably more difficult. Even worse, what you may think of as a natural and helpful question or comment may not be helpful at all — and may actually be hurtful.
What to say to someone with cancer?
If you’re struggling to find the right words, here are 12 kind things to say to someone with cancer: “I’m here for you.”. “You are in my thoughts and prayers.”. “This stinks.”. “Let me help you with…”. Tell a joke. “You are not alone.”. “Any time you need to talk, I’ll listen.”. “What day works for a visit?”.
What to say instead of asking your loved one how you can help?
This is one of the most helpful things you can say. Instead of asking your loved one how you can help, tell them specifically what you’re able to help with. Treatment, doctor’s appointments and physical symptoms make it difficult to keep up with day-to-day life.
Is praying peaceful?
Hearing that your wellbeing is on someone’s mind can be a great comfort, and the act of praying may be very peaceful for you as well. If you or your loved one aren’t religious, it’s still helpful to hear someone is sending you good vibes daily.
Is cancer a joke?
“Cancer is no joke , but is still good to hear one that makes you laugh and takes your mind off of what you are going through. Even if it is just for a couple of minutes! Those minutes always mean the world to me.”
Can you lose hair during chemotherapy?
If undergoing chemotherapy, your loved one may lose their hair during treatment. This is a very emotional process and feeling confident could be a challenge at first. No matter what physical symptoms your loved one is experiencing, this is an opportunity for you to make sure their inner and outer beauty is recognized.
Why are positive statements bad for cancer survivors?
No matter where someone is in their journey, cancer survivors ALWAYS have a voice in the back of their head reminding them that they might die from their cancer.
How to be unnaturally positive?
Tell them that you care about them and acknowledge that, although you don’t know how they feel, you get that it’s making life difficult. And offer to help. What they want and need most from you is to feel like you’re there and won’t abandon them. So, do that by saying:
Why is it important to ask thoughtful questions?
With respect to people that you’re close to, don’t forget to ask thoughtful questions that are geared toward checking in and seeing if they need anything. Asking questions shows compassion and kindness. And it shows that you’re willing to be there for them.
Is it awkward to talk about cancer?
Talking about cancer and someone’s cancer journey is awkward and makes everyone feel vulnerable. And humans really don’t like vulnerability, do they? Although talking to a cancer patient and/or a cancer survivor might be uncomfortable, with a bit of forethought it doesn’t have to be difficult.
Do supplements interact negatively with treatment?
Some supplements interact negatively with treatment. And people have a right to choose their own doctors. Besides, they have plenty of medical professionals helping them make informed decisions. You don’t know better than the patient, so don’t act like you do.
Is the person before cancer still in there?
Don’t forget that the person they were before cancer is still in there. They aren’t their cancer, they’re just dealing with its repercussions. Although the cancer journey is changing them in some ways, they still have hopes and dreams. And they still crave connection, love, and laughter.
Can cancer survivors find silver linings?
It’s not your place. Silver-linings should only be found by the cancer survivor, should they want to. Here are a few examples of what I’m talking about (all are real-life examples from yours truly): “You look great with all the weight you’ve lost.” [This is a seriously back-handed compliment.]
What is the most surprising thing about cancer?
Sometimes the most surprising thing about a cancer diagnosis is how the patient handles it . 1 They may show unbelievable strength you never knew they had , or be more vulnerable than you knew.
Can you stay away from blood cancer?
Blood cancer patients in particular experience a great deal of fatigue, which is made worse by a recent diagnosis. If they want you to stay longer, then stay longer, but make sure you don’t tire them out. Stay away if you are not feeling well .
Do you need a blood transfusion for cancer?
Most patients with blood cancer will need a blood transfusion at some point during their treatment. Learn more about whether or not becoming a bone marrow donor would be right for you. Learn more about leukemia, lymphoma, or myeloma, or the other diagnosis given to your loved one.
Can you get cancer if you are not sick?
People with these types of cancers often have a weakened immune system at the time of their diagnosis, and exposure to a virus or bacteria can lead to a very serious illness. Even if you aren’t sick, make sure you wash your hands very thoroughly when you enter the hospital room and when you leave.
Can you bring flowers into a hospital room?
Plants and flowers can liven up a dull hospital room, but due to immunity concerns, it may not be appropriate to bring them into leukemia or lymphoma patient's room. Check with the nursing unit or a family member to see if it’s OK before you visit. Remember, it’s not about you.
How long does it take for a partner to come to terms with cancer?
Be mindful that the diagnosis of cancer will be difficult for your partner to digest. It may take several days or weeks for them to come to terms with having cancer. You can support them with your words and actions by being there for them when they may be at their most vulnerable.
What to say to your spouse?
Here are some things that your spouse or partner would love to hear you say. 1. “I love you and I’m here for you.”. These simple words can go a long way in letting your spouse or partner know that you’re there for them and support them through what’s next in their journey.
What is a close friend?
Close friends are a special gift. You can be one of your friend’s biggest supporters in their time of need as they deal with their cancer diagnosis. There are so many things involved with getting treatment and in the recovery process that it’s hard to go at it alone.
Is cancer a devastating diagnosis?
A cancer diagnosis can be devastating for almost anyone receiving this news. Technology and medical treatments may be improving day by day, but sometimes just looking at the long road to recovery may be exhausting for some.
Can you get together after cancer treatment?
Your friend may no longer be feeling up to getting together for weekly lunches after starting cancer treatments. Not only will they be feeling run down, but they’ll likely not be in the mood or have the energy to get dressed and be the happy and joyful friend they were even just a few weeks ago.
Can cancer cause you to be embarrassed?
They may be too embarrassed to tell you that they can no longer afford to pay their bills, or that they don’t have money to feed their children. Cancer has a way of wreaking havoc in a person’s life. No one expects you to take up financial responsibility for your friend.
Can you take financial responsibility for a friend?
No one expects you to take up financial responsibility for your friend. You can be a great help to them if you help them connect with available resources in the community that can provide temporary assistance to them. Start by making a few phone calls to see if you can get them the financial help they need.
What to bring to a hospital visit?
If you want to bring a gift, bring one that provides comfort. My favorites were: 1 Petroleum-free lip balm because hospital air can be dry 2 Cushy socks because hospitals are often cold 3 A guestbook so I could remember all the people who came to visit 4 A soft toothbrush that doesn’t cut the gums, reducing the risk of infection
Can you get cancer in your mouth?
Yes, you can get cancer in the mouth! If I had known it was a remote possibility, I’d have been more proactive when the sore in my mouth didn’t heal. I wish I knew that a non-healing lesion in the mouth of a someone who has never smoked and is a social drinker has a higher risk of being cancer.
Can you spell "overall health" without oral health?
And remember, you can’t spell “overall health” without oral health.
What are the side effects of chemotherapy?
One of the most common side effects of chemotherapy is nausea. You don’t want someone already dealing with nausea to come home to a house smelling strongly of chemicals. “I’d love to take you out for lunch or a movie to get your mind off things for a few hours.
When you reach out to someone to express sympathy, what is your message?
When you reach out to someone to express sympathy, your message will be dictated by your relationship with them. If it’s a coworker or acquaintance you’re reaching out to, it’s okay to send a more restrained message. If you’re talking to a friend, you can be more personal. Here are some suggestions of things you could say. They can all be tailored to work for the person you’re sending the message to.
Is cancer scary for family?
Every cancer diagnosis is terrifying for patients and their family members . You don’t want to make it seem like you’re dismissing their very real fear and anxiety. “This is a good time to work on improving your relationship.”. Sometimes people’s relationships with their family members are complicated.
Is it okay to send a restrained message to a friend?
If it’s a coworker or acquaintance you’re reaching out to, it’s okay to send a more restrained message. If you’re talking to a friend, you can be more personal. Here are some suggestions of things you could say. They can all be tailored to work for the person you’re sending the message to.
What to say to someone who has cancer?
Knowing what not to say to someone who has been diagnosed with cancer can be as helpful as knowing what to say. What do people with cancer themselves say about it? A survey of more than 500 people by Live Better With revealed the most insensitive and upsetting comments said to people with cancer: 1 Saying how well they look/seem 2 Comments about personal appearance - hair loss, weight loss/gain, loss of breast (s) 3 Making ‘knowledgeable’ comments about types of treatments 4 Making comparisons with someone who has had a similar disease 5 Telling them you understand how they feel 6 Downplaying the diagnosis (“It’s only….breast/skin cancer etc" and commenting how easy treatment is 7 Telling them not to worry or to stay positive
What to do if someone is not forthcoming?
If the person is not very forthcoming, don’t push it. Bear in mind that they may be answering the same questions over and over again to different people - tiresome, so don’t take it personally.
When was Live Better with Community Forum updated?
Published on September 02, 2019 Updated on September 22, 2020.
