Treatment FAQ

what to do when your teenage daughter is sad and give you silent treatment

by Xavier Raynor DVM Published 3 years ago Updated 2 years ago
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If your child is giving you the silent treatment, you don’t have to join in. Speak to her anyway if you feel ready to engage—without being mad at her if she is not. Even though you may not get an answer from her, you can say, “Boy, it doesn’t sound like you’re ready to talk to me yet.” And then just go on about your business.

How silent is the silent treatment?
  1. Don't lecture her or tell her how hurt you feel.
  2. Try to have positive interactions with her.
  3. Engage her in activities you've enjoyed doing together.
  4. Sit down to meals with her.
  5. Don't pump her for information.

Full Answer

Is it OK to give your daughter the silent treatment?

Giving Your Teen the Silent Treatment It takes two to tango. You cannot have a tug of war without people pulling on both ends of the rope. And, an argument between a parent and a teenager requires both participants to vocally state their point of view on the issue at hand. To halt the tango, one partner merely has to stop moving.

How can I help my teenage daughter deal with depression?

Jul 20, 2021 · When the parents feel ready, or when they eventually stop the silent treatment, then you can cautiously talk to them once more — but only after they first established contact with you. If you are...

What should I do if my teenage daughter says hurtful things?

Apr 21, 2021 · 4. Cut them some slack. Encouraging your teen to stay active and involved in household responsibilities can help them continue to feel supported. Still, understand there may be times when they don ...

How can I help my teenage daughter feel like a priority?

Apr 30, 2019 · You’ve changed your behavior to avoid getting the silent treatment. 1. Take a gentle approach: Make it about them If this isn’t something the other person regularly does to you, a gentle approach...

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Why is my daughter giving me the silent treatment?

The silent treatment gives your child a feeling of power and control over you. It's how they push your buttons and get you to leave them alone. Know that if your child gives you the silent treatment, that's probably the best problem-solving skill he has at that moment.

What do you do when your daughter shuts you out?

Five Tips When Estranged and Cut Off From Your Child
  1. Get Support. Being cut off by your child, with no ability to understand, communicate and resolve things, is difficult enough. ...
  2. Don't Cut off in Response. ...
  3. Don't Feed the Anger. ...
  4. Listen to Your Child Without Defending Yourself. ...
  5. Focus on Yourself, Not Your Child.

What to do when your teenager doesn't want to talk to you?

How to Talk to a Teenager Who Doesn't Want to Talk
  1. Let Them Be the Smartest Person in the Room for a Change.
  2. Limit the Lectures.
  3. Pick Your Battles.
  4. Ask Open-Ended Questions.
  5. Respect Their Need for Privacy.
  6. Go For a Drive.
  7. Throw Some Fun into the Mix.
  8. Treat Them Like an Adult.
Jul 1, 2020

How do I reconnect with my teenage daughter?

20 ways to connect with your teen
  1. Eat together. “Family dinner hour is sacred in our house,” says Peterborough, Ont., mother of four Catherine Shedden. ...
  2. Cook together. ...
  3. Work together. ...
  4. Share a family interest. ...
  5. Go shopping. ...
  6. Follow their lead. ...
  7. Do some good. ...
  8. Tell their stories.
Sep 6, 2007

How do I fix my broken relationship with my daughter?

Make Amends: Rather than focusing on your child's behavior or actions, take responsibility for your part in the disrepair. Have you been busy, impatient, frustrated, controlling, etc? Apologize and work on making it right with your child. Keep it simple, and avoid adding”…but, you should…” to the end.

What is the most damaging thing to say to a child?

Never belittle their suffering

Other users pointed out phrases that are more obviously damaging to a child . Ellen Perkins wrote: "Without doubt, the number one most psychologically damaging thing you can say to a child is 'I don't love you' or 'you were a mistake'.
Jan 12, 2016

Why does my teenage daughter not talk to me?

You need to find out whether your child has undergone some kind of trauma (bullying, rape) or is abusing drugs or alcohol. This behavior could also indicate the beginning of a serious mental health issue such as depression, schizophrenia or bipolar disorder, all which become more common in the late teens and early 20s.

Why is my teenage daughter always in her room?

It usually indicates that there is an issue with the child, parents, or household dynamics. Experts agree that kids who spend a lot of time alone in a room might be displaying symptoms of social anxiety or depression.Dec 28, 2021

Why is my teenage daughter so mean to me?

Or your daughter may be venting her frustrations in a way that feels safe – she's counting on your unconditional love to allow her to act this way without taking responsibility for her behavior. A teen may also be indulging in disrespectful behavior in order to feel more in control in life and in your relationship.

How do I stay close to my teenage daughter?

Here are 30 ways to build trust, understanding appreciation and affection with your teen!
  1. LISTEN. ...
  2. Create little rituals to connect. ...
  3. Be their sounding board. ...
  4. Commiserate with how oppressive homework can feel. ...
  5. Ask your teen how their day was, every day. ...
  6. Hug them every day. ...
  7. If they don't want hugs, give foot massages.

What is the hardest teenage year?

The most dangerous age is 14. If you know any teenagers this might not come as a surprise, but research has confirmed that risk-taking peaks during this exact moment in mid-adolescence.Jun 2, 2018

How do you talk to your teenager so they will listen?

Tips for Communicating With Your Teen
  1. Listen. ...
  2. Validate their feelings. ...
  3. Show trust. ...
  4. Don't be a dictator. ...
  5. Give praise. ...
  6. Control your emotions. ...
  7. Do things together. ...
  8. Share regular meals.

Starter Tips: If Your Teenage Daughter Is Depressed

VeryWellMind has compiled a list of suggestions for parents on how to confront a teen who refuses to get help. Consider implementing these steps at home. What works for one teen may not work for another. However, this is a good starting point. Here are some tips on how you can effectively encourage your daughter to seek help:

Solstice East can help

Solstice East is a residential treatment center for young women ages 14-18 struggling with behavior and emotional issues such as those that can stem from peer-relationship struggles. This program focuses on helping young women heal, recover, and integrate healthy habits into their lives.

When Your Parents Give You The Silent Treatment

I’m an aspiring therapist, and some of the younger clients report being emotionally dismissed by their parents. They appreciate the things that their parents do for them, such as paying the bills, working full time, providing them with a house, food, and shelter, but also often report feeling invalidated.

The Stark Reality

In some families, the silent treatment can be a surprising and unfortunate reality. Perhaps your parents do it from time to time, especially when there’s already a skewed power differential, where you have to follow the things that your parents say because it’s their rules and their house.

Children Internalize The Pain

Developing children are willing to keep the vitriol inside because they’re so worried about seeing the silent treatment ever again. That’s how profoundly sad they were — they hated it so much that they were willing to accept the pain of the situation, even if it was hard for them to process.

When Facing Silent Treatment

Seeing parents turning their backs, some children may learn to become too self-reliant and even push them away — even when the parents eventually parade them with hugs, kisses, and presents.

Final Thoughts

Even if you are at fault, just remember that you were a child and that you had no way of knowing that your parents were going to be this way with you. It did place a huge emotional burden on you, but at least you learned to keep your distance and somehow survived the situation, all in one piece.

How do you know if your child is depressed?

dropping grades or disinterest in school. negative or critical self-talk. talk about death, dying, or suicide. If you’ve noticed these signs on most days for more than a week or two, your child could have depression.

How to help someone with depression?

It’s also worth encouraging them to try a new activity or hobby, like guitar lessons, art classes, or a sport. Volunteering and other acts of kindness, like helping out neighbors, may also help ease feelings of depression.

What are the symptoms of depression in teenagers?

Depression symptoms in teenagers often include: unusual irritability. angry outbursts. fatigue, lack of energy, and lethargy. aches, pains, or stomach issues.

Is depression a free pass?

Depression isn’t a “free pass” for misbehavior, but it’s important to separate the effects of depression from actual wrongdoing. Taking away their phone, or main method of interacting with friends, might actually make things worse.

How to deal with two parents at once?

1. Ask (and keep asking) Start by finding a quiet, private time to have a conversation. It may help to approach the subject with just one parent, since facing two parents at once might overwhelm your child or create an atmosphere of confrontation.

Can a child talk about their feelings?

Your child may not always want to talk about their feelings or share the progress they’re making in therapy. Certainly, you want to know they’re getting better, but pushing them won’t help them feel more comfortable opening up.

What are the symptoms of a symbiotic relationship?

angry outbursts. fatigue, lack of energy, and lethargy. aches, pains, or stomach issues. less interest in their regular activities. less interest in spending time with friends or family. dropping grades or disinterest in school. negative or critical self-talk. talk about death, dying, or suicide.

Is silent treatment a form of emotional abuse?

Recognizing other types of emotional abuse. The silent treatment doesn’t always relate to emotional abuse. Some people lack effective communication skills or need to retreat into themselves to work things out. To emotional abusers, though, the silent treatment is a weapon of control.

Why do people use silent treatment?

But some people use the silent treatment as a tool for exerting power over someone or creating emotional distance. If you’re on the receiving end of this kind of treatment, you might feel completely ostracized.

How to deal with emotional abuse?

Make it about you. Ignore it. Offer solutions. Stand up for yourself. What not to do. Signs of emotional abuse. Get help. Takeaway. If you’ve ever found yourself in a situation where you couldn’t get someone to talk to you, or even acknowledge you, you’ve experienced the silent treatment.

What is silent treatment?

The silent treatment can happen in romantic relationships or any type of relationship, including between parents and children, friends, and co-workers. It can be a fleeting reaction to a situation in which one person feels angry, frustrated, or too overwhelmed to deal with a problem.

Is silent treatment a good way to communicate?

While it’s not always malicious, the silent treatment certainly isn’t a healthy way to communicate. If the silent treatment looms large in your life, there are steps you can take to improve your relationship or remove yourself from an abusive situation. Last medically reviewed on April 30, 2019.

Is silent treatment always meant to inflict wounds?

The silent treatment isn’t always meant to inflict wounds. Sometimes, it’s an isolated incident that gets out of hand. You can let it slide until they come around and move on.

How to tell if a teenager is depressed?

Look through the following list, taken from the DSM-5. If your teen has been experiencing five or more of the following symptoms for at least two weeks, and one of the five symptoms are A or B, they might have clinical depression: 1 Depressed mood 2 Noticeably diminished interest or pleasure in activities 3 Weight and/or appetite increase/decrease 4 Slowing down of thought/less physical movement 5 Always tired, loss of energy 6 Feelings of low self-esteem, worthlessness, excessive guilt 7 Inability to think clearly, concentrate, or make decisions 8 Thoughts of death or suicide.*

What is evolution treatment?

Evolve offers CARF and Joint Commission accredited treatment for teens with mental health disorders and/or substance abuse. Your child will receive the highest caliber of care in our comfortable, home-like residential treatment centers. We offer a full continuum of care, including residential, partial hospitalization/day (PHP), and intensive outpatient treatment (IOP).

How to calm down a daughter?

Make a habit of pausing every time you feel emotionally triggered by your daughter. Instead of focusing on her, notice your own emotions. Intentionally relax your body. Instead of tensing up when you feel angry or emotional, try to relax instead. Just breathe.

How to help your daughter with bad behavior?

Acknowledge her feelings. Be patient, and remember that acknowledging and validating her feelings do not necessarily mean that you condone bad behavior. Sometimes your daughter may just want to feel that you acknowledge her struggles. For her, it makes a difference to know that you've heard her and that you care.

What happens when a girl grows up?

As your little girl grows up, you may feel unprepared to deal with the emotional onslaught that can often accompany the teenage years. If you’re concerned by her drama, moodiness, anxiety, bad attitudes, or behavior, don’t despair.

How to deal with teen angst?

1. Pay attention to warning signs. Even though your child is changing rapidly during the teen years, as a parent, you know your child better than anyone. Pay close attention if you notice behaviors like these that may indicate a more serious problem than just regular "teen angst.".

Who is Klare Heston?

This article was co-authored by Klare Heston, LCSW. Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Clevaland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983.

What to do if your daughter is narcissistic?

If your daughter’s narcissistic ways are causing serious problems in her life, seek professional help. If, for example, she’s unable to maintain friendships because she alienates her peers, or she’s struggling to get an education because she’s frequently getting suspended, talk to her doctor.

How to deal with a narcissistic teenager?

One of the best ways to deal with a narcissistic teenage daughter is to make her responsible for her behavior. Don’t rescue her every time she makes a mistake, and don’t step in to save her from failure all the time. Instead, let her experience logical or natural consequences for her behavior.

What is a narcissist?

Narcissism in Normal Development. The term "narcis sist" is usually used to describe someone who is vain, as opposed to someone who has a narcissistic personality disorder—which is a diagnosable mental health condition. 1  People with narcissistic personality disorder have difficulty functioning. They struggle to maintain healthy relationships ...

What is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another?

Empathy —the ability to understand and share the feelings of another—goes beyond little-kid lessons like learning to share and say "sorry.". Teens are still actively building empathy skills too. This is a prime time to focus on helping your teen understand empathy at a deeper level.

Do teens have empathy?

Teens are still actively building empathy skills too. This is a prime time to focus on helping your teen understand empathy at a deeper level. To do this, look for opportunities to interpret how other people might feel.

What does it mean when a teenager is in awe?

Studies show that when teens feel awe, they are reminded that the world is much bigger than they are. 2  Whether your teen experiences a sense of awe by gazing at the stars or by visiting a museum, do things that help her think about history or the natural wonders of the world.

What does it mean when a narcissist teen doesn't call back?

A narcissistic teen will assume other people’s behaviors are somehow related to her. So when a friend doesn’t call her back, she might assume her friend is mad at her. Or she might insist that the teacher who gave her a poor grade doesn’t like her.

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