Will I leave my boyfriend if he doesn’t quit drugs?
Some might be tempted to say, “I’ll leave you if you don’t quit drugs,” but this approach often backfires and can potentially add to the stresses already faced by your boyfriend, and furthermore, creates an ultimatum situation that many find hard to follow through with. Instead, set healthy boundaries—but only the ones you are prepared to stick to.
Can my boyfriend live at home during addiction treatment?
This means your boyfriend could continue to live at home throughout his treatment while periodically visiting the treatment center for a combination of detox, counseling, therapy, support groups, 12-step programs, and medical care.
How can I Help my Boyfriend overcome his addiction?
Counseling and therapy can help your boyfriend address the underlying psychological issues that are contributing to his addiction, as well as help him learn new coping strategies for dealing with stress, drug cravings, and other things that drive his drug or alcohol abuse.
Is your boyfriend struggling with addictions?
Addiction is a devastating illness that not only wreaks havoc on the lives of the people with the addiction, but on their loved ones as well. If your boyfriend is struggling with a drug addiction or alcoholism, it is natural to want to help him, although you may not know where to start.
What are 3 reasons why someone does not seek treatment for their addiction?
They weren't ready to stop using. ... They couldn't afford it. ... They didn't know where to get treatment. ... They were afraid of what their neighbors might think. ... They were afraid it might affect their job.
When dealing with someone who has an addiction you should?
While you should be as honest about your feelings as possible when getting therapy, it's important to respect their privacy. This is especially relevant when discussing someone with addiction with friends or family. Make sure the person is okay being talked about and having their struggles discussed.
How does medication abuse affect relationships?
As drinking or drug use gets worse, it starts to take more and more time away from the couple, taking its toll by creating an emotional distance between the partners that is difficult to overcome. These couples also report that they fight and argue a great deal, which sometimes can become violent.
What are some of the signs that someone has developed an addiction?
Signs someone else is addicted:Changes in personality and behavior like a lack of motivation, irritability, and agitation.Bloodshot eyes and frequent bloody noses.Shakes, tremors, or slurred speech.Change in their daily routines.Lack of concern for personal hygiene.Unusual need for money; financial problems.More items...
What are the 6 ways to help someone who is addicted to drugs?
Here are seven tips that family and friends can reference to support an addicted family member or friend.Tip #1: Educate Yourself. ... Tip #2: Get Support. ... Tip #3: Get Counseling. ... Tip #4: Seek Specialty Help. ... Tip #5: Don't Enable. ... Tip #6: Have Realistic Expectations. ... Tip #7: Take Care of Yourself.
How do you break an addiction to someone?
Tips on How to Break an Addiction to a PersonFigure Out Your Addictive Relationship. ... Detach Yourself from an Unhealthy Bond. ... Surround Yourself with Positive People. ... Welcome Your Independence. ... Learn to Set Boundaries in Relationships and Friendships. ... Pay Attention to Yourself. ... People You Should Avoid.
How does substance abuse affect mental health?
If you or someone you care about is chronically using drugs or alcohol it can lead to changes in the brain, which can lead to mental health issues including paranoia, depression, anxiety, aggression, hallucinations, and other problems.
What is the first step of the addiction cycle?
The first step to addiction is trying the substance. It can be as fast as taking the first drink or smoking a cigarette. Or, people may have used drugs in the past without developing a dependency, but are now moving on to a more addictive substance.
How do drugs affect family relationships?
Arguments between parents may be normal, causing the child emotional distress as they witness family members fighting. Early exposure to a home divided by drug use can cause a child to feel emotionally and physically neglected and unsafe. As a result, they can become more mentally and emotionally unstable.
What are the warning signs of dependence on drugs in terms of behavior?
Signs and symptoms of recent use can include:Feeling of exhilaration and excess confidence.Increased alertness.Increased energy and restlessness.Behavior changes or aggression.Rapid or rambling speech.Dilated pupils.Confusion, delusions and hallucinations.Irritability, anxiety or paranoia.More items...
What are the six major characteristics of addictive behavior?
Six items targeting key features of addictions were then proposed. These items measured (1) negative outcomes, (2) emotion triggers (one item for each positive and negative emotional context), (3) the search for stimulation or pleasure, (4) loss of control, and (5) cognitive salience.
What are the four common symptoms of addiction?
1 Each person's experience of addiction is slightly different, but there are generally some common symptoms to watch out for, including behavior changes like lying, extreme changes in mood, and changing social groups, as well as physical symptoms like changes in weight, sleep, and energy levels.
What to do when your partner is vulnerable?
There is no quick fix here — but if you think your partner is struggling with being vulnerable, the best thing you can do is be there for them and give them the space to feel comfortable expressing how they feel.
How to help someone who feels like therapy is a punishment?
If they feel like therapy is a punishment, try to reframe why you want to go. Sometimes just being honest about why you want to go can help them understand why this is important to you and what your actual goal is.
Why is couples therapy important?
That’s why couples therapy can be helpful. “In the chaos of life, couples often put their relationship last, finding it difficult to set aside time for themselves,” explains Traci Maynigo, a clinical psychologist who specializes in couple and family therapy. “Therapy is space not just to work through challenges together, ...
How can couples therapy help a relationship?
Couples therapy can be a game-changer for your relationship, even if things seem to be going well. But it takes two to make it happen. If your partner is hesitant to give it a shot, try to have a conversation about why. Armed with that information, you’ll likely be able to figure out a path forward that works for both of you.
What does it mean to go to couples therapy?
Sometimes, avoiding painful issues seems like the easiest path. “Going to couples therapy means you have to do difficult emotional work ,” Maynigo continues. “It requires honesty and vulnerability. And vulnerability feels risky.”.
Why are low income couples less likely to get counseling?
Research has shown over and over again that couples in low-income households are at increased risk of relationship distress, while also being less likely to participate in couples counseling because of cost.
How many people report improvement in their relationship?
A study mentioned by the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy found that 90 percent of clients reported an improvement in their emotional health and over 75 percent reported an improvement in their relationship.
How to help someone with addiction?
When someone is in the grip of addiction, their clarity quickly withers away. Suggest or schedule a routine check-up appointment. Inform the doctor of the addiction prior to the visit, and do so for multiple reasons. They’ll be better able to identify the issues and see past the excuses of the individual. Doctors will still protect doctor-patient confidentiality, but in their medical and professional opinions, they can also recommend courses of action to take, which can be very eye-opening for the person. In some cases, it has been proven to help them think clearly when someone outside of their social or family circle is able to recognize issues. Before they are too far gone, it’s a wake-up call.
How to not be judgmental?
Without stating the obvious, let the person know that you are there for them no matter what. It’s very easy to have a conversation with someone, and keep the subject matter silent, while both of you know what’s going on. By avoiding bringing it up in direct words or unveiling anger, you’re showing them that you’re not being judgmental, that you just want to help.
How does intervention help a family?
It may take time to heal emotionally, but the risks and rewards of an intervention are absolutely necessary to draw the line in the sand. Interventions deliver ultimatums and allow the family to express their concerns and their emotional pain in a constructive manner.
What is Jeffrey Juergens's degree?
Jeffrey Juergens earned his Bachelor’s and Juris Doctor from the University of Florida. Jeffrey’s desire to help others led him to focus on economic and social development and policy making. After graduation, he decided to pursue his passion of writing and editing. Jeffrey’s mission is to educate and inform the public on addiction issues and help those in need of treatment find the best option for them.
How long does it take to get sober in rehab?
With just 30 days at a rehab center, you can get clean and sober, start therapy, join a support group, and learn ways to manage your cravings.
When all else fails, don't use guilt?
When All Else Fails, Don’t Use Guilt. It’s very easy to mix up the thought of an ultimatum, and lecturing or guilting an addicted individual into ceasing their vice usage. Under no circumstances should you attempt to guilt them into quitting their addiction.
Can you guilt someone into quitting their addiction?
It’s very easy to mix up the thought of an ultimatum, and lecturing or guilting an addicted individual into ceasing their vice usage. Under no circumstances should you attempt to guilt them into quitting their addiction. Phrases like “How could you do this to me,” or anything that will garner guilt and/or shame from the individual is a surefire no-go.
Why won't my loved one stop using drugs?
The scene is all too familiar for many families. Someone desperately needs help to stop abusing drugs or Alcohol, but he or she simply won’t stop. The individual perhaps doesn’t recognize the harm the substance abuse is causing or he or she simply does not think they can function without their substance of choice. Regardless of why your loved one refuses to stop the situation can be extremely painful.
What to do if your loved one refuses to give you advice?
The first thing you should do is enforce healthy boundaries that protect you and those you take care of. The realization that your loved one is not going to stop using is devastating.
What to do when you have a loved one in the grips of addiction?
The first thing you need to do when you have a loved one in the grips of addiction is to educate yourself about the disease. Addiction is classified as a mental illness, characterized by compulsive substance seeking and using, continuing to use despite negative consequences, as well as cravings and a host of other symptoms.
How to get someone to see the harm of substance abuse?
Getting someone to see the folly and harm that is substance abuse is a process, and a long one at that. Make sure you are clear, honest and firm in implementing the consequences of not going into treatment during the intervention . Arguing with your loved one is also useless as he or she is not thinking clearly and the consequences ...
Can a loved one see the problems with using?
Your loved one may not see the problems with using and problems with his or her behavior. You need to understand how the disease of addiction works against those who have it in order to help your loved one and protect yourself.
Can you meet an addict in restaurants?
The parameters of these healthy boundaries vary between individuals. They may include only meeting with your addicted loved one in restaurants because he or she is no longer allowed in your home. This can be a great idea if your loved one has stolen from you or others in the past to fuel his or her using habit.
Do interventions work immediately?
Interventions have a good track record for getting people into treatment, but not everyone is ready at the time of his or her intervention. This grand event may not work immediately. Generally, however, they tend to have a significant impact eventually, if not immediately.
Why do couples need counseling?
Couples counseling can work wonders in a relationship, helping each partner to see the other’s perspective and empowering a couple to adopt love -affirming habits that meet one another’s needs . Relationship experts and therapists may recommend couples counseling for a broad variety of issues ranging from financial problems to infidelity, and some people view couples counseling as the panacea that will cure an ailing marriage.
What does it mean when someone wants to make a go at it?
If someone really wants to make a go at it then they will make the commitment to do the hard work and get into therpay with you.
Can therapy open up a can of worms?
Therapy can open up a big old can of worms. Like you have never ever seen.
How to help someone who refuses treatment?
Just because your loved one refuses treatment, doesn’t mean you can’t get help yourself. It is not easy to live with addiction- even if you’re not the one abusing drugs or alcohol. You are not alone, however. Al-Anon and Narc-Anon are 12 Step programs designed for those with loved ones who are addicts. Teen support groups are often available in conjunction with these groups. A quick web search will help you find one near you. In addition to group support, consider family or individual therapy. Learning about addiction and abuse will also help you understand what your loved one is going through, and how to help him or her better.
What does enabling do for an addict?
Enabling is supporting an addiction, even if not directly. Are you financially supporting the addict? This can come in the form of cheap housing, which allows them to spend excess money on drugs or alcohol. It can be giving them a “loan” or providing groceries. Are you covering up the addiction? Perhaps you lie about why your loved one can’t make it to events. Maybe you do their school, house, or professional work for them. Most clearly, stop providing drugs or alcohol. When you stop enabling, an addict has the opportunity to not only see the consequences of drug or alcohol abuse but forces them to have to work harder to sustain their habit. Without your help, they can realize how much sway their addiction has on their actions and their life.
What are the consequences of addiction?
This can be something as light as taking away internet privileges or removing drugs or alcohol from the household. Sometimes more drastic consequences are needed such as: moving out, taking away visitation rights, and/or contacting authorities. Effective consequences vary by person and the severity of the addiction. They should all matter enough that they motivate an addict who refuses treatment to reconsider and eventually agree to enter rehabilitation. Whatever boundaries you set, you must stick to them. The addict must understand that his or her substance abuse has wide-ranging effects.
What happens when you stop enabling?
When you stop enabling, an addict has the opportunity to not only see the consequences of drug or alcohol abuse but forces them to have to work harder to sustain their habit. Without your help, they can realize how much sway their addiction has on their actions and their life.
How to contact Recovery Advisors?
Do you or someone you love need help? Recovery Advisors are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Call 888-SOBER-40 for a confidential consultation.
Is it legal to commit to drug rehab in Alabama?
The law varies by state, but for example, in Alabama involuntary commitment for drug of alcoholism is not legal. Not only is it not legal, it may not work. An approach where your loved one is involved in the rehab process may be more likely to have success.
Can you turn off your desire to use on your own?
These pleads are very hard to resist but do not loosen your resolve. A person who is addicted cannot turn off their desire to use on their own- they must seek treatment. Unless violent threats are made, ignore this emotional battery, and stick to the consequences. This is tough love.
How to help my boyfriend with drug addiction?
Depending on what drug (s) your boyfriend is addicted to, there may be medication-assisted treatments available. This may mean taking other prescribed medication to manage cravings and reduce relapse risks, or having his drug of choice temporarily replaced with a maintenance medication on either a short- or long-term basis. Some people take these prescribed medications to help stabilize themselves, and then have the doses gradually tapered to allow their bodies to readjust to life without drugs. Others may need to take these drugs on a long-term basis to avoid the harmful behaviors associated with their drug addiction. If this seems like a good option for your boyfriend, encourage him to discuss it with a doctor or therapist and find appropriate ways that you can support him in this during and after his treatment.
What to do if your boyfriend is addicted to drugs?
Any treatment option first begins with a thorough drug assessment by a qualified medical or mental health professional trained in addictions treatment.
What are some ways to help your boyfriend with addiction?
Some addiction treatment options that your boyfriend may want to consider include: 3. Medically assisted detox. Pharmaceutical treatments. Outpatient treatment.
How long does a rehab stay with a boyfriend?
Patients typically lives at the treatment center for anywhere between 30 and 90 days —sometimes longer in severe cases. If your boyfriend chooses to attend such a treatment program, you will have to adjust to the idea of being apart for that time. Depending on the rehab facility, you may have limited or no visitation with him during treatment. However, phone calls and emails may be an option. You will want to discuss this with him and find a way to provide your ongoing support during the inpatient rehab process in some appropriate way.
How to tell a man about his addiction?
This means using “I” statements, such as “I feel scared when you get drunk and I don’t know where you are.”
How to not be attacked by a man?
Remain calm and be careful with your tone and language so he does not feel attacked. Be as compassionate and supportive as possible, while also being firm about your feelings. Express genuine love and concern rather than place guilt or blame on him.
What is a relationship problem?
Relationship problems (difficulty communicating, lashing out on loved ones, lying).
What to do when someone refuses to do something?
Tell them what it would mean to you if they refuse to do some of these things. Tell them how much worse it might make you feel, or less hopeful, or sadder, or more discouraged.
Who wrote the book Couples Therapy?
It was written by Drs. Alan Gurman and Mark Burton and published in 2014. They reviewed all the scientific studies about the treatment of couple problems. They found much evidence that couples therapy is helpful with couple problems. And no evidence that individual therapy is helpful with couple problems.
Is individual therapy good for a relationship?
It’s good for formulating a strategy. It’s good for deciding whether you want to continue in your relationship or not. But there’s no evidence that it will help solve the problems in your relationship.
Is couples therapy helpful?
They found much evidence that couples therapy is helpful with couple problems.
What happens when someone you love refuses to get treatment?
When someone you love refuses to get professional treatment for their mental health disorder—such as depression, bipolar disorder, or substance abuse —this can put you, as a family member, in a very uncomfortable and difficult position. You care for the person and can see that he or she needs help, but feel powerless and unable to just stand by.
What does it mean to distancing yourself from a sick family member?
That, a lot of times, means distancing yourself from the sick family member who refused treatment. Everyone has limits, and when said mentally sick family member has a long history of repeated abusive behavior I say family members have a right to protect themselves from harm.
How to help a woman with a mental illness?
Offer to help with the logistics, which can sometimes feel overwhelming to a person in the midst of a mental health episode. This could include providing phone numbers for the mental health professionals in her area or driving her to an appointment. Help her to understand that going for an evaluation does not mean that she has to agree to the proposed treatment—she can take time to think about it.
How old do you have to be to get a psychotic treatment?
You care for the person and can see that he or she needs help, but feel powerless and unable to just stand by. You cannot force anyone over the age of 18 into treatment, unless they pose a danger to themselves or others or show signs of psychotic thinking (which is not very common).
Why does my loved one refuse to move forward?
If your loved one refuses to move forward, it’s useful to try to understand what is behind his reasons for refusing treatment and then address those issues. A person may refuse to accept mental health treatment for many reasons, including: He may believe it indicates he is a failure.
Can elderly people not participate in treatment?
Other's won't participate, and, if they aren' t a danger to themselves or others, have a right to not participate in treatment. The author mentioned elderly people. Elderly people (probably over the age of 75 or so) didn't grow up with treatment options, and thus, many won' t participate in them.
Is it hard to keep up with meds?
It's really hard to keep up your motivation and keep on trying when so many things don' t go your way, when meds don't work or you have side effects to them. I know, I've been there too. It feels like you have nothing left to do, but actually there's always something else to try. This I know for sure.
What is a defiant addict?
But you can at least know that you’ve done your best. A defiant addict is anyone who does not willingly seek out the treatment he or she needs. Overcoming those mental blocks and physical demands from drugs is never easy.
How to stop enabling behavior?
One of the things you can do, as a loved one, is to stop your enabling behavior. As previously noted, many people provide for their loved one’s needs. You do it because you love them. You want to save your son or daughter’s life. You want your spouse to just get better. Just one more chance, you think, and it will get better—but then it doesn’t. Here’s what you can do to stop enabling your loved one: 1 Stop providing an excuse for their use. 2 Don’t give them money for groceries or other needs. Don’t pay any bills for them. 3 Stop providing the alcohol or the money for drugs. 4 Stop covering up their addictive behaviors. 5 Don’t do their work for them.
What is the first step in detoxing?
The second part is to help you, the family member who cares so much for the individual who seems destined to destroy their life. The pain and burden worsen when a loved one refuses to obtain treatment. What can you do in this situation?
What happens when you can't get alcohol?
When they cannot obtain the alcohol or drugs they want any longer, this forces them to begin thinking about other options. Sometimes, your boundaries will not help; your loved one will find ways to work around them. But you can at least know that you’ve done your best.
How to follow through on consequences?
Establish and Follow Through on Consequences. A first step is to establish guidelines and consequences. Improvement does not occur when empty threats are used. If the loved one refuses treatment, then the consequences occur. Choose consequences you will stand by no matter what happens.
How to protect yourself from constant battles?
You set the boundaries. Then, stick with them . That’s the best route to take to protecting yourself and your loved one from constant battles.
Is it hard to force someone into drug treatment?
And, in still others, they may feel they are doing a good enough job at maintaining their responsibilities and life. When there is not a life-threatening situation occurring, it is quite difficult to legally force the individual into alcohol and drug addiction treatment.