Treatment FAQ

what to do instead of silent treatment

by Daron McClure Published 3 years ago Updated 2 years ago
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  1. Name The Experience You can avoid the silent treatment by compassionately acknowledging what you’re feeling. Avoid accusations or hostile language and try not to overthink it. ...
  2. Acknowledge The Other Person’s Feelings and Share Your Own. Being heard and seen is one of our basic needs as humans. ...
  3. Suggest Next Steps

If the silent treatment does not appear to be part of a larger pattern of abuse, a person can try the following approaches:
  • Name the situation. ...
  • Use 'I' statements. ...
  • Acknowledge the other person's feelings. ...
  • Apologize for words or actions. ...
  • Cool off and arrange a time to resolve the issue. ...
  • Avoid unhelpful responses.
Jun 8, 2020

Full Answer

What is the best way to handle the silent treatment?

Dec 11, 2021 · It’s much more effective than trying to guilt or blame them into talking.”. 4. Give the Silence a Deadline. Remember that you are a person in …

How to respond when someone gives you the silent treatment?

Apr 04, 2018 · Whether you are the person receiving or giving the silent treatment, there are actions you can take to start a conversation: 1. Name The Experience You can avoid the silent treatment by compassionately acknowledging what you’re feeling. Avoid... 2. Acknowledge The Other Person’s Feelings and Share ...

What is the purpose of giving someone the "silent treatment"?

Jun 08, 2020 · Apologize for words or actions. A person should not apologize or blame themselves for another person’s use of the silent treatment, as the silence is how their partner chooses to respond ...

Does the silent treatment really work?

Jun 05, 2018 · When you’re wondering how to respond to the silent treatment, remind yourself that you are being mistreated yourself. Don’t plead with your partner. State clearly that you’re prepared to talk when they’re ready, and leave it at that. Don’t excuse their behaviour.

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What type of person gives the silent treatment?

Researchers have found that the silent treatment is used by both men and women to terminate a partner's behaviors or words rather than to elicit them. 1 In abusive relationships, the silent treatment is used to manipulate the other person and to establish power over them.Jun 1, 2020

Is silent treatment the best treatment?

While sometimes the silent treatment is just a short-term way to cool down, it's when it's used as a deliberate strategy to inflict pain and control that it's a problem. That treatment is never okay to use. In fact, it is unhelpful for anything other than a very brief period.

How do you deal with the silent treatment with dignity?

Maintain your dignity and try these six strategies.
  1. Look for the reasons behind the silent treatment. ...
  2. Share the psychology behind silent treatment. ...
  3. Avoid reacting to silent abuse. ...
  4. Respond with calmness and speak kindly. ...
  5. State your boundaries clearly. ...
  6. Take care of yourself. ...
  7. Consider professional therapy.
Apr 26, 2021

What does silent treatment do to a man?

Silent treatment could dissipate tension

Many people say they just leave the room and lock themselves in the bedroom telling their partner that they would only interact when they are in a better situation to talk. This helps to diffuse the aggression that one person is feeling.
May 13, 2020

Why do men go silent?

Many guys hate failing and feeling inadequate. They often don't have the speed of words to compete with their partner in a conflict. Men's emotional processing capacity is often much slower than their partner. Whilst being silent is a sign of a man's need to process it is also a way to avoid the feelings of defeat.

What does silence do to a woman?

Findings from his in-depth analysis revealed that the silent treatment is 'tremendously' damaging to a relationship. It decreases relationship satisfaction for both partners, diminishes feelings of intimacy, and reduces the capacity to communicate in a way that's healthy and meaningful.

Does silent treatment mean break up?

The silent treatment is a particularly toxic form of behavior that can lead to the breakdown of relationships. When a partner gives you the silent treatment, you might feel a crazy need to make him talk.

What is the psychology behind the silent treatment?

The silent treatment is a particularly insidious form of abuse because it might force the victim to reconcile with the perpetrator in an effort to end the behavior, even if the victim doesn't know why they're apologizing. “It's especially controlling because it deprives both sides from weighing in,” Williams said.Mar 26, 2021

Is silent treatment a form of control?

The silent treatment is the refusal to engage in verbal communication with someone, often as a response to conflict in a relationship. Also referred to as giving the cold shoulder or stonewalling, its use is a passive-aggressive form of control and can, in many circumstances, be considered a form of emotional abuse.Feb 22, 2022

Why is silence the best revenge?

Silence speaks volumes

Believe it, the silence and zero reaction really bothers your ex, and they consider it as the best served revenge. Nothing creates more curiosity than silence. Your ex would expect a vent or an angry rant from you, but don't give in. If you do, you are meeting their expectations.
Sep 9, 2019

Is silent treatment toxic?

When you're on the receiving end of the silent treatment, you may feel powerless, disrespected, invisible, frustrated, or angry — or you may cycle through all of these emotions. “Many people feel powerless because we as humans are inherently social creatures.Mar 10, 2021

How do you treat a man who takes you for granted?

Here are some handy tips you can try!
  1. Don't always be available for him; play hard to get.
  2. Talk about plans in the future where he isn't there.
  3. Do not jump to answer his call or be prompt to reply to his messages; let him wait and expect.
  4. Spend time with yourself.
  5. Add a few new sex moves.
Aug 27, 2021

What is silent treatment?

Left unchecked, the silent treatment becomes a pattern of behavior and emotional abuse that is used to manipulate over time. Fear not! There are a few things you can do to deal with the silent treatment in a relationship. Let’s break it down.

Why is it important to acknowledge your partner's feelings?

Acknowledging your partner’s feelings not only validates their experience, it creates space for a larger conversation. Through larger conversations, you can lay the foundation for trust and signal that you’re interested in understanding their point of view while being honest about how the silent treatment makes you feel.

What is silent treatment?

Summary. The silent treatment is a refusal to communicate verbally with another person. People who use the silent treatment may even refuse to acknowledge the presence of the other person. People use the silent treatment in many types of relationship, including romantic relationships. It can sometimes be a form of emotional abuse.

Why do people use the silent treatment?

People use the silent treatment for a number of reasons. These include: 1 Avoidance: In some cases, people stay silent in a conversation because they do not know what to say or want to avoid conflict. 2 Communication: A person may use the silent treatment if they do not know how to express their feelings but want their partner to know that they are upset. 3 Punishment: If a person uses silence to punish someone or to exert control or power over them, this is a form of emotional abuse.

How to help someone in an abusive relationship?

It will help someone in an abusive relationship to: 1 stay in contact with their family and friends 2 talk privately with a trusted professional, such as a counselor or domestic violence advocate, who can discuss the person’s options in a safe space 3 seek advice and support from a domestic abuse organization, such as the National Domestic Violence Hotline or Love is Respect

Why do people use silence?

they talk to other people but not to their partner. they seek alliances from others. they use silence to blame their partner and make them feel guilty. they use silence to manipulate or “improve” their partner, or to pressure them to change their behavior.

What is the meaning of "controlling"?

controlling all their finances and spending. controlling whether or not they go to work or school. humiliating them in front of others or on social media. using intimidating behavior, threatening them, or giving them ultimatums. threatening to harm themselves, pets, or loved ones. gaslighting them.

How to deal with a person who is abusive?

Avoid becoming defensive or going into problem-solving mode. Try to stay present and listen empathically. If the person responds in a threatening or abusive way, it is important to remove oneself from the situation until they calm down. Talk to a doctor, therapist, or trusted friend for help.

Is silent treatment a form of abuse?

It can sometimes be a form of self-protection, but at other times, it indicates emotional abuse. People who regularly use or experience the silent treatment should take steps to address it. If there are other signs of abuse, it may be necessary to seek outside support to stay safe.

Can you go to therapy for silent treatment?

If you are experiencing the silent treatment from someone you love, then therapy may be the only answer. This only works if your partner is willing to go to therapy in order to move forward. Unfortunately, so many people like using the silent treatment and don’t want a therapist taking that weapon away.

How to win silent treatment?

1. Shrugging it off. One way to understand how to win the silent treatment is to brush it off or ignore it. If you aren’t necessarily in a close relationship with the person who is giving you the silent treatment, you may be able to just move on and act like nothing happened.

Why do people use the silent treatment?

People who use the silent treatment to win arguments and gain control need to understand the magnitude of their immature behavior. Confrontation lets them know that you see what they are doing and you understand the tactics they use. After telling them the truth, you can laugh about it.

What is a narcissist?

The narcissist. The narcissist is a troubled and sad individual. Among their weapons of choice, like their other manipulation techniques, they also utilize the silent treatment. The narcissist, since they are void of all original inner substance, will use the silent treatment to further establish who they are.

Who is Sherrie Hurd?

Sherrie Hurd is a professional writer and artist with over 20 years of experience. As a survivor of childhood trauma and multiple types of abuse, she is an advocate for mental health awareness. Sherrie manages multiple mental illnesses, including anxiety disorder, bipolar disorder, and PTSD. With this background and personal experience, she strives to help others overcome trauma and abuse, cope with mental illness, and heal over time.

Is the silent treatment good?

No, the silent treatment is seldom a good idea. When you’re using the silent treatment, you’re attempting to manipulate and control your partner or spouse. I can understand your resorting to not responding to your partner or spouse if they continue to batter your ears over something you really don’t want to talk about.

Can you change your partner?

you are not your partner’s therapist. you cannot change your partner, and neither should you change yourself to fit in with their demands beyond reasonable compromises.

How to respond to silent treatment?

Here are some ways to respond to the silent treatment. 1. Take Time to Cool Off. During a time of silence both partners should pause to reflect on what led up to the silent treatment episode, especially if it was preceded by an argument, fight, or emotional outburst.

What is silent treatment?

The silent treatment is when one person in a relationship ignores the other person, refusing to acknowledge them verbally or through any other method. This usually happens after an argument, but it can also happen when the silent partner is angry and the other person doesn't know why. Being on the receiving end is painful and frustrating.

How to control your partner?

Changing Your Approach to the Relationship 1 Remind yourself that your partner feels uncertain and out of control. 2 Do not resort to sulking, pouting, or badgering. Try to maintain a calm attitude if you can. Take a walk to get a breath of air. 3 Consider whether you too might be trying to control the relationship more than your partner is comfortable with.

How to deal with a silent spouse?

Give Your Partner Space to Think. Avoid trying to figure out what your silent partner or spouse is thinking. You're not a mind-reader. The silent treatment is a passive-aggressive form of communication. If you do their thinking for them, they won't learn how to be direct when sharing their thoughts and feelings.

Can you accept a situation completely?

Answer: Well, you have only a couple of options. You can accept it completely, to the degree that it truly doesn't bother you at all. You can leave the situation entirely. You can struggle with trying to accept it only to find yourself feeling resentful and angry.

What does it mean when a man says he's busy but he acts disinterested?

In other words, "He says he's busy, but he acts disinterested" means he's probably disinterested. This is especially true if you called his attention to it and he hasn't tried to improve things and hasn't taken your complaint seriously.

Why do introverts need more time?

Introverts need more time to process their emotions, especially when things get intense or they feel that they've been attacked or insulted in some way. If this is the case for you, tell your partner that you'll give them a certain amount of time to themselves and that you'll be back after the time is up to talk.

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