Treatment FAQ

what is silent treatment goodtherapy

by Dr. Luisa Balistreri I Published 2 years ago Updated 2 years ago
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The psychological term behind silent treatment, according to GoodTherapy, means emotional manipulation and even psychological abuse. It is the act of ceasing to initiate or respond to communication with someone else, or refusing to acknowledge them altogether. My experience

The silent treatment is widely regarded as a form of emotional manipulation and even psychological abuse. It is the act of ceasing to initiate or respond to communication with someone else or refusing to acknowledge them altogether.Nov 27, 2018

Full Answer

Is silent treatment effective?

Silent treatment is a controversial topic, there is no denying that. While prolonged silent treatment could lead to emotional abuse and is said to be as lethal as physical abuse having long-term psychological effects, it is often regarded as an effective tool for conflict resolution.

How do you deal with someone who gives the silent treatment?

If the silent treatment does not appear to be part of a larger pattern of abuse, a person can try the following approaches: Acknowledge that someone is using the silent treatment. For example, a person can say, “I notice that you are not responding to me.” This lays the foundation for two people to engage with each other more effectively.

What is silent treatment in a marriage?

Silent treatment in marriage is thought to be a way of punishing a partner and is akin to passive-aggressive behavior. But it is not always as mean as it is made out to be. When there is heightened tension and one person is extremely angry and aggressive, then silence on the part of the other person can help to dissipate the tension.

Is the silent treatment a slippery slope?

The silent treatment is a slippery slope. If used at the right time in the right way, it can solve a lot of your problems with your partner. However, if prolonged too much, it can be aggressive and hostile which will not end well. 2. What does the silent treatment do to someone?

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What does the silent treatment do to someone?

According to a 2012 study, people who regularly feel ignored also report lower levels of self-esteem, belonging, and meaning in their lives. Because of this, the silent treatment can have an impact on the health of a relationship, even if the person who is silent is trying to avoid conflict.

What type of person does silent treatment?

The silent treatment can happen in romantic relationships or any type of relationship, including between parents and children, friends, and co-workers. It can be a fleeting reaction to a situation in which one person feels angry, frustrated, or too overwhelmed to deal with a problem.

Why is the silent treatment so damaging?

The silent treatment is a particularly insidious form of abuse because it might force the victim to reconcile with the perpetrator in an effort to end the behavior, even if the victim doesn't know why they're apologizing. “It's especially controlling because it deprives both sides from weighing in,” Williams said.

Is silent treatment a form of Gaslighting?

The silent treatment or angry rages (or alternating between the two) are the main ways gaslighters use to punish their victims and regain control over them, Sarkis says.

Is silent treatment a red flag?

The Silent Treatment is Your S.O.'s Main Conflict Technique If you're in a relationship, conflicts and arguments come with the territory. Managing these conflicts and working through them together are a necessary part of developing a healthy relationship, which makes the silent treatment a huge red flag.

Is silence the best revenge?

Silence speaks volumes The best revenge is no reaction. Believe it, the silence and zero reaction really bothers your ex, and they consider it as the best served revenge. Nothing creates more curiosity than silence. Your ex would expect a vent or an angry rant from you, but don't give in.

Does silent treatment hurt a man?

1 In abusive relationships, the silent treatment is used to manipulate the other person and to establish power over them. Silence is used as a weapon to cut off meaningful conversations, stop the flow of information, and ultimately hurt the other person.

Is ignoring a form of emotional abuse?

The silent treatment is the refusal to engage in verbal communication with someone, often as a response to conflict in a relationship. Also referred to as giving the cold shoulder or stonewalling, its use is a passive-aggressive form of control and can, in many circumstances, be considered a form of emotional abuse.

Is silent treatment a break up?

The silent treatment is a particularly toxic form of behavior that can lead to the breakdown of relationships. When a partner gives you the silent treatment, you might feel a crazy need to make him talk.

What happens when you go silent on a narcissist?

If you ignore a narcissist and deny them their source, they may become enraged and try even harder for your attention – especially in ways that can be toxic or abusive. Ignoring a narcissist will enrage them because of their fragile egos. They'll feel humiliated and lash out against you to protect themselves.

What are 10 signs of gaslighting?

10 Signs of Gaslighting BehaviourBlatant Lies. You know the person is lying, often and with ease, yet they say they do not recognise this in their behaviour. ... Deny, Deny, Deny. You know what they said. ... Using What You Love Against You. ... Losing Your Sense of Self. ... Words Versus Actions. ... Love and Flattery. ... Confusion. ... Projecting.More items...•

Is the silent treatment manipulation?

The silent treatment is widely regarded as a form of emotional manipulation and even psychological abuse. It is the act of ceasing to initiate or respond to communication with someone else or refusing to acknowledge them altogether.

What is silent treatment?

The silent treatment is a form of emotional abuse typically employed by people with narcissistic tendencies. It is designed to (1) place the abuser in a position of control; (2) silence the target’s attempts at assertion; (3) avoid conflict resolution/personal responsibility/compromise; or (4) punish the target for a perceived ego slight.

How long does silent treatment last?

Silent treatment is a form o f abuse. Being married to my husband for 8 years now and every 4 or 6 months he engages in one. That will last for almost 2 months. Yes I said 2 months.

How to get rid of silent abuse?

Mystery. That could be the answer to your questions. I’m not sure the abuser has a good reason to use the silent treatment. Get to know yourself. Have a healthy self esteem. Continue to have love and compassion. Don’t let people change you.

What is the difference between "no contact" and "silent treatment"?

Also, there is a difference between No Contact and the Silent Treatment…the latter is an emotional abuse tactic employed by an abuser. No Contact is a strategy of healing survivors can utilize to heal and move forward in the aftermath of narcissistic abuse.

Is silent treatment a narc?

The silent treatment is only abuse if the “victim” is still emotionally attached to the narc. Once a person detaches and is on a healthier path the silence is peaceful. And sane.

Can a parent use silent treatment on a child?

Yes it is. A parent should never use the silent treatment on a child. The damage is immense. I hope that if you’re doing this you will seek parenting support to find more positive ways of dealing with difficulties

Can a narcissist tolerate silent treatment?

I wanted to clarify that A Narcissist can not tolerate the silent treatment being done to them.

What is silent treatment?

Summary. The silent treatment is a refusal to communicate verbally with another person. People who use the silent treatment may even refuse to acknowledge the presence of the other person. People use the silent treatment in many types of relationship, including romantic relationships. It can sometimes be a form of emotional abuse.

Why is silent treatment important?

for healthy relationships. Using the silent treatment prevents people from resolving their conflicts in a helpful way. When one partner wants to talk about a problem but the other withdraws, it can cause negative emotions such as anger and distress.

How does silent treatment affect relationships?

How it affects relationships. In most cases, using the silent treatment is not a productive way to deal with a disagreement. Research indicates that both men and women use the silent treatment in relationships. However, clear and direct communication is essential. for healthy relationships.

Why do people stay silent in a conversation?

These include: Avoidance: In some cases, people stay silent in a conversation because they do not know what to say or want to avoid conflict. Communication: A person may use the silent treatment if they do not know how to express their feelings but want their partner to know that they are upset.

Why do couples need counseling?

Couples who have difficulty communicating effectively may benefit from counseling. A therapist can help the partners express their feelings so that they can resolve conflicts in a healthy way.

How does silence end?

the silence lasts for extended periods of time. the silence only ends when they decide it does. they talk to other people but not to their partner. they seek alliances from others. they use silence to blame their partner and make them feel guilty.

What to do when someone threatens you?

If the person responds in a threatening or abusive way, it is important to remove oneself from the situation until they calm down. Talk to a doctor, therapist, or trusted friend for help.

What is silent treatment?

The silent treatment can happen in romantic relationships or any type of relationship, including between parents and children, friends, and co-workers. It can be a fleeting reaction to a situation in which one person feels angry, frustrated, or too overwhelmed to deal with a problem.

How does silent treatment affect self esteem?

When it’s used regularly as a power play, it can make you feel rejected or excluded. This can have a huge effect on your self-esteem.

How to deal with emotional abuse?

Make it about you. Ignore it. Offer solutions. Stand up for yourself. What not to do. Signs of emotional abuse. Get help. Takeaway. If you’ve ever found yourself in a situation where you couldn’t get someone to talk to you, or even acknowledge you, you’ve experienced the silent treatment.

What to do when things escalate to emotional abuse?

When things escalate to emotional abuse, you’re not in a healthy relationship. It’s time to put yourself first. If you believe the relationship is worth salvaging: Set firm boundaries about what acceptable behavior is and how you expect to be treated.

Why do people go silent?

But some people use the silent treatment as a tool for exerting power over someone or creating emotional distance.

When the silent treatment is part of the larger issue of emotional abuse, don't blame yourself. It's not?

When the silent treatment is part of the larger issue of emotional abuse, don’t blame yourself. It’s not your fault. You’re not responsible for their behavior, no matter what they tell you. If that person genuinely wants to change, they’ll get themselves into counseling.

What to do if there's no hope that the other person will change?

If there’s no hope that the other person will change, consider leaving the relationship.

What does silent treatment mean?

The silent treatment has been known to end romantic relationships, alienate friends, and negatively impact child development. When children experience the silent treatment from parents or caregivers, the effects can be devastating.

What happens when you use silent treatment?

When the person using the silent treatment takes away the ability to communicate and collaborate with one another, the person on the receiving end often will go to great lengths to restore the verbal aspect of the relationship. This allows the silent person to feel vindicated, powerful, and in control , while the person on the receiving end feels confused and maybe even afraid of losing the relationship.

Is silent treatment a form of abuse?

While not everyone will admit this, the silent treatment is a form of abuse. When people use this against you, they do it with the intent of getting you to give in to what they are wanting and well, that is NOT okay.

What is silent treatment?

As its name indicates, the silent treatment is something that’s done to somebody. It’s done on purpose, and its purpose is to send the message, “I don’t like what you did.”. In contrast, while estrangement often feels punitive when you're on the receiving end, punishment is not necessarily the intent.

Is the silent treatment painful?

The loaded quiet of the silent treatment creates an extreme contrast with normal conversation. The pain of the experience may be intense, but it’s short-lived. There’s the conviction that “this will be over one day,” making it psychologically manageable, albeit very unpleasant.

Is the pain of estrangement short lived?

The pain of the experience may be intense, but it’s short-lived. There’s the conviction that “this will be over one day,” making it psychologically manageable, albeit very unpleasant. The pain of estrangement is also intense, but it’s potentially an ache without a cure. Eventual relief is a hope, not a given.

Do people who detach and go silent still give the silent treatment?

More correct would be that the person is giving the silent treatment because they are detaching. But the silent treatment is only one form of detaching.

Is estrangement a silent epidemic?

Estrangement is a silent epidemic affecting all kinds of people. The antidote, for many, is better communication. Children should never learn what the silent treatment is, or how to apply it, or what it feels like to be on the receiving end.

How does silent treatment help?

She says, “The silent treatment can help revive connections that have been fairly healthy , in that it allows both partners to list out their differences and introspect. When communications are laced with more opinions and fewer facts in healthy connections, giving each other space for a while may help in rekindling the connection and setting a new equation. But this is about giving space and not shutting down on your partner. It may help bring about effective communication and has to be used carefully, being aware of the goal at all times.”

How effective is the silent treatment?

The silent treatment will be effective if you’re using it for taking some time off from your partner and trying to look deep within yourself. Most people realize the mistakes they are making this way. Sasha and her boyfriend did not talk for a week after they had a heated argument.

How to give silent treatment in a relationship?

The key to giving silent treatment in a relationship is to manage and balance it perfectly. While you want to disengage and let the bad feelings dissipate, you also do not want to hurt your partner in an irrevocable way.

Why did Radhika Sapru stay silent?

Radhika Sapru (name changed) discovered the benefits of silent treatment early on in her relationship with Rohit. That was the only way she could tackle her hot-tempered boyfriend who was actually a gem at heart, she felt. But when Rohit got angry there was no point trying to show him any kind of reason. Usually at times like that Radhika chose to stay silent. Sometimes on a date or even on the phone, if Rohit flew off the hook, Radhika just kept her mouth shut letting him cool down first.

What are the benefits of silent treatment?

We write 8 benefits of silent treatment. 1. Silent treatment could dissipate tension. Silent treatment could be beneficial and abusive too. Silent treatment in marriage is thought to be a way of punishing a partner and is akin to passive aggressive behavior. But it is not always as mean as it is made out to be.

Why do people use silent treatment?

This helps to diffuse the aggression that one person is feeling. 2. You can understand your partner better. People who use the silent treatment as a method of punishing their partner can stay silent for days building a wall around them and behaving that their partner doesn’t exist. This is terrible for a relationship.

Why does silent treatment work with an ex?

Why the silent treatment works with an ex is because it gives both people time off to think about the consequences of their decision. The no contact rule after breaking up can do wonders.

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