
Does the silent treatment really work?
· The silent treatment is a refusal to communicate verbally with another person. People who use the silent treatment may even refuse to acknowledge the presence of …
What is the best way to handle the silent treatment?
· The Silent Treatment At best the silent treatment isan immature behavior used by spoiled brats and manipulativeindividuals. At worst, it is a weapon used by abusers to punish their victims. One...
When you should use the silent treatment?
· Show that the silent treatment is no way to get what they want from you. 4. Offer solutions. Suggest a face-to-face meeting to hammer out some rules for better communication in the future. Make a ...
How to respond when someone gives you the silent treatment?
· The Silent Treatment: Psychological Abuse in Disguise 4 minutes The silent treatment is a strategy frequently used by people who appear to possess great self-control and claim to be more rational than emotional. At the same time, it is related not only to an expression of passive violence but also to a concealed strategy of psychological abuse.
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Is silent treatment a mental disorder?
The silent treatment is widely regarded as a form of emotional manipulation and even psychological abuse. It is the act of ceasing to initiate or respond to communication with someone else or refusing to acknowledge them altogether.
What does silent treatment mean?
: an act of completely ignoring a person or thing by resort to silence especially as a means of expressing contempt or disapproval.
Is the silent treatment Gaslighting?
The silent treatment or angry rages (or alternating between the two) are the main ways gaslighters use to punish their victims and regain control over them, Sarkis says.
Why do narcissists silent treatment?
The silent treatment, a form of stonewalling, is a tool used by narcissists to punish someone who has behaved in a way they don't like. Most people want to right wrongs and if they feel like something negative has happened in the relationship, they want to discuss it to lessen tension and to protect the relationship.
Is silent treatment toxic?
When silence, or, rather, the refusal to engage in a conversation, is used as a control tactic to exert power in a relationship, then it becomes "the silent treatment," which is toxic, unhealthy, and abusive.
Is silence a form of emotional abuse?
Punishment: If a person uses silence to punish someone or to exert control or power over them, this is a form of emotional abuse.
How do you respond to silent treatment?
Calmly tell the person that you've noticed they're not responding and you want to understand why. Emphasize that you want to resolve things. While it's not your fault that someone else decides to give you the silent treatment, you do have a responsibility to apologize if you've done something wrong.
What is stonewalling in a relationship?
Stonewalling is, well, what it sounds like. In a discussion or argument, the listener withdraws from the interaction, shutting down and closing themselves off from the speaker because they are feeling overwhelmed or physiologically flooded. Metaphorically speaking, they build a wall between them and their partner.
What is silent treatment?
The silent treatment is a recognized form of abusive supervision. Other forms include: reminding the victim of past failures, failing to give proper credit, wrongfully assigning blame or blowing up in fits of temper.
Where did the term "silent treatment" come from?
Origin of term. The term originated from "treatment" through silence, which was fashionable in prisons in the 19th century. In use since the prison reforms of 1835, the silent treatment was used in prisons as an alternative to physical punishment, as it was believed that forbidding prisoners from speaking, calling them by a number rather ...
What percentage of bullying is silent treatment?
Research by the Workplace Bullying Institute suggests that "using the silent treatment to ice out & separate from others" is the fourth most common of all workplace bullying tactics experienced, and is reported in 64 percent of cases of workplace bullying. The silent treatment is a recognized form of abusive supervision.
What does silence mean in abuse?
Through silence, the abusers "loudly" communicate their displeasure, anger, upset and frustration. The consequences of this behavior on the person at the receiving end by silence are feelings of emotional hostage, incompetence and self-worthlessness. The silent treatment is sometimes used as a control mechanism.
Why is silence a problem in a relationship?
In a relationship, the silent treatment can be a difficult pattern to break and resolve because if it is ingrained, relationships may gradually deteriorate. Abusers punish their victims by refusing to speak to them or even acknowledge their presence. Through silence, the abusers "loudly" communicate their displeasure, anger, upset and frustration. The consequences of this behavior on the person at the receiving end by silence are feelings of emotional hostage, incompetence and self-worthlessness.
What does it mean to refuse to communicate verbally?
Refusal to communicate verbally with someone who desires the communication. For other uses, see Silent treatment (disambiguation). Silent treatment is the refusal to communicate verbally and electronically with someone who is willing to communicate. It may range from just sulking to malevolent abusive controlling behaviour.
What is tactical ignoring?
Tactical ignoring is a strategy where a person gives no outward sign of recognizing a behavior, such as no eye contact, no verbal response, or electronic response, and no physical response . However, the person remains aware of the behavior and monitors the individual to ensure their safety and the safety of others. It is similar to, although not identical to, the silent treatment, in that tactical ignoring is a behavioral management technique that, when correctly applied, can result in the reduction of undesirable behaviors.
What is silent treatment?
The silent treatment is emotional abuse. When a victim is in a relationship with a person who causes the above mentioned distress, her mind and body remember how upsettingand anxiety provoking theprevioussilent treatment occurrences were.
Why is silent treatment not blatant?
The only person who really feels the silent treatment is the target. The person giving the silent treatment is not being overtly aggressive, abusive, or unkind in any visible way. This keeps himlooking “good” and reasonable.
Is silent treatment abusive?
Whether the person in your life is using the silent treatment immaturely or abusively, one thing is for sure, it is infuriating to receive; problems cannot bedealt with, conflicts remain unresolved, simple conversations are thwarted, and in the end, relationships employing this tactic become either toxic on nonexistent.
What is silent treatment?
The silent treatment can happen in romantic relationships or any type of relationship, including between parents and children, friends, and co-workers. It can be a fleeting reaction to a situation in which one person feels angry, frustrated, or too overwhelmed to deal with a problem.
When the silent treatment is part of the larger issue of emotional abuse, don't blame yourself. It's not
When the silent treatment is part of the larger issue of emotional abuse, don’t blame yourself. It’s not your fault. You’re not responsible for their behavior, no matter what they tell you. If that person genuinely wants to change, they’ll get themselves into counseling.
How does silent treatment affect self esteem?
When it’s used regularly as a power play, it can make you feel rejected or excluded. This can have a huge effect on your self-esteem.
How to deal with emotional abuse?
Make it about you. Ignore it. Offer solutions. Stand up for yourself. What not to do. Signs of emotional abuse. Get help. Takeaway. If you’ve ever found yourself in a situation where you couldn’t get someone to talk to you, or even acknowledge you, you’ve experienced the silent treatment.
What to do when things escalate to emotional abuse?
When things escalate to emotional abuse, you’re not in a healthy relationship. It’s time to put yourself first. If you believe the relationship is worth salvaging: Set firm boundaries about what acceptable behavior is and how you expect to be treated.
Why do people go silent?
But some people use the silent treatment as a tool for exerting power over someone or creating emotional distance.
What to do if there's no hope that the other person will change?
If there’s no hope that the other person will change, consider leaving the relationship.
What is silent treatment?
The silent treatment is a strategy frequently used by people who appear to possess great self-control and claim to be more rational than emotional. At the same time, it is related not only to an expression of passive violence but also to a concealed strategy of psychological abuse. That is to say, it can profoundly damage the person on ...
What happens when you use silent treatment?
Sometimes people think that if they use the silent treatment, the other person will change their behavior or do what the other person wants them to do.
What does it mean when you activate the silent zone?
Activation in this zone means that physical symptoms also start to appear. Some very common symptoms are headaches and digestive problems. Fatigue and insomnia are also frequent complaints.
Is silence a good tactic?
As with many tactics, which are defensive and a result of insecurity, the use of this one shows very poor communication skills. Silence can be healthy when tempers are high and a pause is needed before something exacerbates the situation. However, when silence is used as a method of control or punishment, it becomes abuse.
What is silent treatment?
The Silent Treatment Is Emotional Abuse. The silent treatment is your partner's way of telling you that you have done something wrong. As a consequence of this, he refuses to acknowledge or communicate with you. This is passive-aggressive emotional abuse.
Why do people use the silent treatment?
People generally resort to using the silent treatment as a means of placing them in a position of control (often because they feel helpless in the face of their situations, their feelings, etc.). A person may also use the silent treatment to avoid personal responsibility for his own actions or to suppress a partner's attempts at asserting self-worth. Additionally, he may be employing the silent treatment predominantly due to a lack of ability to properly communicate. Most likely though, it's attributable to a combination of the above factors.
How to respond to silent treatment?
It is difficult to provide a definitive response as to how you should respond to the silent treatment. You first need to ask yourself why your partner is acting in this way. If he genuinely has a fear of confrontation, then you may be able to help him discover positive methods for resolving conflict.
Is it normal to be subjected to silent treatment?
Answer: It is never normal to be subjected to the silent treatment, which is a form of emotional abuse.
Is silent treatment passive or aggressive?
This is because the ' silent treatment ', also known as emotional withholding, is actually a form of passive-aggressive abuse.
Is it normal to be silent?
Answer: It is never normal to be subjected to the silent treatment, which is a form of emotional abuse. However, don't confuse this with periods of 'cooling off' or taking 'time out.'. It is perfectly natural for couples to disagree and need some time alone to reflect and gather their thoughts.
Is silent treatment harmful?
Though it might seem like a normal part of a relationship, the silent treatment is actually a harmful form of emotional abuse.
What is silent treatment?
The silent treatment is the refusal to engage in verbal communication with someone, often as a response to conflict in a relationship. Also referred to as giving the cold shoulder or stonewalling, its use is a passive-aggressive form of control and can, in many circumstances, be considered a form of emotional abuse.
What does it mean to give someone the silent treatment?
By giving the silent treatment, you are inferring that you are in the right and they are in the wrong and that it is their responsibility to fix this. You give them no choice in the matter – if they do not do what you want, the silence will carry on. 2. It’s a means of punishing the other person.
Why is silent treatment a form of control?
This, again, is a form of control because it gives the one who wields the silent treatment as a weapon the upper hand. They aren’t the ones who have to feel anxious about what the other may do.
Why is silent treatment considered abuse?
1. It’s a means of exerting control over the someone. In any type of relationship, both parties should feel free to act how they choose.
Why is it important to remain quiet?
In this case, remaining quiet is a way to cope with the situation and the person. Silence is a form of protection and is often the only way to calm things down following an altercation. The silent treatment is also recommended if you have escaped an abusive relationship with a narcissist or sociopath.
Why do people give silent treatment?
Most people who give the silent treatment don’t feel great about it at the time. It’s just a mechanism for dealing with conflict that they know.
What happens if you use silent treatment?
If one person uses the silent treatment on a regular basis, it sows the seeds of anxiety in the mind of the other. After all, they may never know when it will be used against them. That unpredictability is sure to put someone constantly on edge, anxious that they may trigger another period of silence.
What is silent treatment?
As its name indicates, the silent treatment is something that’s done to somebody. It’s done on purpose, and its purpose is to send the message, “I don’t like what you did.”. In contrast, while estrangement often feels punitive when you're on the receiving end, punishment is not necessarily the intent.
Is the silent treatment painful?
The loaded quiet of the silent treatment creates an extreme contrast with normal conversation. The pain of the experience may be intense, but it’s short-lived. There’s the conviction that “this will be over one day,” making it psychologically manageable, albeit very unpleasant.
Is the pain of estrangement short lived?
The pain of the experience may be intense, but it’s short-lived. There’s the conviction that “this will be over one day,” making it psychologically manageable, albeit very unpleasant. The pain of estrangement is also intense, but it’s potentially an ache without a cure. Eventual relief is a hope, not a given.
Do people who detach and go silent still give the silent treatment?
More correct would be that the person is giving the silent treatment because they are detaching. But the silent treatment is only one form of detaching.
Is estrangement a silent epidemic?
Estrangement is a silent epidemic affecting all kinds of people. The antidote, for many, is better communication. Children should never learn what the silent treatment is, or how to apply it, or what it feels like to be on the receiving end.
What does it mean when you use the silent treatment?
When you’re using the silent treatment, you’re attempting to manipulate and control your partner or spouse.
How to get rid of the silent treatment?
2. Take a break. Familiarise yourself with a time-out (opens in a new tab). It’s a really useful strategy when you’re feeling too overwhelmed to think straight.
What does it mean when your partner stops talking to you?
If your partner seems to have stopped talking to you out of the blue or after a fight, clearly the two of you are having a conflict – even if you weren’t aware that you’d done something ‘wrong’.
Is silent treatment hurtful?
Being treated with the silent treatment is hurtful. You deserve better. So here are three steps you can undertake to encourage your partner to communicate in a more helpful way…
Does silent treatment work?
The silent treatment can work if you’ve stopped dating someone who keeps bothering you.
Is silent treatment a sign of a toxic relationship?
At worst, it can be a sign of a toxic relationship. At best, it’s an unhealthy attempt to make upset and displeasure clear and to provoke guilt and atonement. The above steps will help you to handle the silent treatment with dignity.
Do you need to worry about silent treatment?
If you’re using a more helpful way of communicating and argue fairly, you won’t need to worry about the silent treatment backfiring.

Overview
Silent treatment is the refusal to communicate verbally and electronically with someone who is willing to communicate. It may range from just sulking to malevolent abusive controlling behaviour. It may be a passive-aggressive form of emotional abuse in which displeasure, disapproval and contempt is exhibited through nonverbal gestures while maintaining verbal silence. Clinical psychologist Harriet Braiker identifies it as a form of manipulative punishment. It may be used a…
Origin of term
The term originated from "treatment" through silence, which was fashionable in prisons in the 19th century. In use since the prison reforms of 1835 , the silent treatment was used in prisons as an alternative to physical punishment, as it was believed that forbidding prisoners from speaking, calling them by a number rather than their name, and making them cover their faces so they couldn't see each other would encourage reflection on their crimes.
In personal relationships
In a relationship, the silent treatment can be a difficult pattern to break and resolve because if it is ingrained, relationships may gradually deteriorate. Abusers punish their victims by refusing to speak to them or even acknowledge their presence. Through silence, the abusers "loudly" communicate their displeasure, anger, upset and frustration. The consequences of this behavior on the person at the receiving end by silence are feelings of emotional hostage, incompetence and …
In the workplace
Research by the Workplace Bullying Institute suggests that "using the silent treatment to ice out & separate from others" is the fourth most common of all workplace bullying tactics experienced, and is reported in 64 percent of cases of workplace bullying. The silent treatment is a recognized form of abusive supervision. Other forms include: reminding the victim of past failures, failing to give proper credit, wrongfully assigning blame or blowing up in fits of temper.
Tactical ignoring
Tactical ignoring is a strategy where a person gives no outward sign of recognizing a behavior, such as no eye contact, no verbal or physical response, or acknowledgment that a message has been read. However, the person remains aware of the behavior and monitors the individual to observe what the individual has planned and ensure their safety or the safety of others. It is similar to the silent treatment because tactical ignoring is a behavioral management technique t…
See also
• Cold shoulder
• Destabilisation
• Ghosting (behavior) also known as simmering or icing
• Guilt trip
• Isolation to facilitate abuse
Further reading
• The “silent treatment”. Its incidence and impact. Paper presented at the sixty-ninth Annual Midwestern Psychological Association, Chicago, IL. Ferguson, M., and .. 1997
• Kipling D. Williams Wendelyn J. Shore Jon E. Grahe. The silent treatment: Perceptions of its behaviors and associated feelings – Group Processes Intergroup Relations October 1998 vol. 1 no. 2 117–141
External links
• What's up with the Silent Treatment?
• Research: Office silent treatment ‘worse than bullying’
• The Silent Treatment: Are You Getting the Cold Shoulder?
• The Silent Marriage: How Passive Aggression Steals Your Happiness (The Complete Guide to Passive Aggression) [Kindle Edition]|