Treatment FAQ

what does the silent treatment do to a narcissist

by Amir Bruen Published 3 years ago Updated 2 years ago
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How to Neutralize the Narcissist’s Favorite Weapon, The Silent Treatment

  1. Leave the relationship. This may not appear to be a viable option at this time. ...
  2. Recognize it for what it is. The silent treatment is emotional abuse that you don’t deserve. ...
  3. Ignore it. ...
  4. Make it about them. ...
  5. Don’t take it personally. ...
  6. Don’t respond emotionally. ...
  7. Don’t apologize. ...
  8. Give them and yourself some space. ...
  9. Offer solutions. ...

Basically, the silent treatment is a passive-aggressive behavior by which an abuser communicates some sort of negative message to the intended victim that only the perpetrator and the victim recognize through nonverbal communication.Mar 12, 2020

Full Answer

What happens when you give a narcissist the silent treatment?

When you start to give the silent treatment to the narcissist, the narcissist immediately finds it offending and hurting. As narcissists can’t tolerate being ignored, the act of silent treatment strikes the narcissist much harder than the normal people.

How to shut down the narcissist during the silent treatment?

Shut down the narcissist’s silent treatment by getting some perspective.

  • Take some breaths and look at the situation from a bit of a distance.
  • See that this is THEIR pattern and a way for the narcissist to never have to take accountability or resolve any issue in the relationship.
  • Your need for connection, resolve and care will not be met by engaging with the silent treatment.

What happens when you ignore a narcissist who dumped you?

What happens when you ignore a narcissist who dumped you is that you get to spend time with friends and family. You are now able to create a stronger connection with people you love. It makes you feel warm and fulfilled. You’ll never look back at your old relationship again. 6. You Turn into a Stronger Person

How to get a narcissist back after narcissist discard phase?

So what you need to do to win them back is:

  • Crawl on your knees like an animal (make sure your nose is to the ground; that shows FULL submission) when you go back to them apologizing for something you didn’t ...
  • Sing praises of the narcissist worthiness (even if your narcissist is an old bald hag, male or female). ...
  • Say yes to everything they demand…um, I mean, ask. ...
  • Stop thinking for yourself. ...

More items...

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Does the silent treatment hurt a narcissist?

Essentially, the narcissistic person's message is one of extreme disapproval to the degree that the silence renders the target so insignificant that he or she is ignored and becomes more or less nonexistent in the eyes of the narcissistic person.

What happens when you stop talking to a narcissist?

If you ignore a narcissist and deny them their source, they may become enraged and try even harder for your attention – especially in ways that can be toxic or abusive. Ignoring a narcissist will enrage them because of their fragile egos. They'll feel humiliated and lash out against you to protect themselves.

Why narcs use silent treatment?

The silent treatment is a powerful way to create change. When used by narcissists, it is a way to control the interaction and punish the partner. As social creatures, we like connection and to be liked. Non-narcissists can consider the feelings of others and don't want someone else to be upset or hurt.

How does a narcissist react when they can't control you?

Narcissists also gaslight or practice master manipulation, weakening and destabilizing their victims; finally, they utilize positive and negative emotions or moments to trick others. When a narcissist can't control you, they'll likely feel threatened, react with anger, and they might even start threatening you.

What does no contact do to a narcissist?

If we ignore them again by saying “no” or going “no contact” with them, narcissists might go into a complete rage. This rage is a coping mechanism in order for them to deal with us keeping our distance from them or saying “no” to them. A rejection of narcissists means that we think they are not perfect.

What does cutting off all contact with a narcissist do to them?

Breaking up with a narcissist is likely to be a draining experience. Either they won't let you go without a fight, or they will discard you without looking back. Both experiences are extremely hurtful.

What happens when you ignore a narcissist silent treatment?

When the narcissist uses the silent treatment or ignores you in other ways, they are doing so to manipulate you into doing what they want or focusing all your attention on them. It can be a damaging tactic given that it can make you feel like you mean nothing to them.

How do you make a narcissist miserable?

14 Ways to Make a Narcissist Miserable:Lack of Attention.Doing something they don't like.Losing.Logic and Facts.Boundaries.Critical Thinking.Spontaneous Behavior.Someone else's Success.More items...•

How long should silent treatment last?

If the perpetrator still refuses to acknowledge the victim's existence for long periods of time, it might be right to leave the relationship. In the end, whether it lasts four hours or four decades, the silent treatment says more about the person doing it than it does about the person receiving it.

How do you make a narcissist regret losing you?

How to Make a Narcissist Regret Losing You Cut off all contact with the person. Be unattainable and focus on your well-being. Spend time with your support network. Realize that people with NPD can't feel regret. Resist the urge to get revenge. Give yourself a chance to grieve the relationship.More items...•

How do you confuse a narcissist?

11 Ways to Confuse and Disarm a Narcissist1 Be unpredictable.2 Say “no” when they ask for favors.3 Remove all emotion from your reactions to them.4 Bore them with the “gray rock” treatment.5 Guard your sensitive information closely.6 Walk away while they're talking.7 Cut off all communication.More items...•

How do you punish a narcissist?

4:558:09How To Punish A Narcissistic Person. One Thing Narcissists Run From.YouTubeStart of suggested clipEnd of suggested clipMy my final suggestion is to distance yourself from them to go no contact to leave them to eliminateMoreMy my final suggestion is to distance yourself from them to go no contact to leave them to eliminate that relationship with them completely i'm not talking about silent treatment.

What happens if you continue the silent treatment?

If you still continue the silent treatment, the narcissist may finally abandon you and move on with new narcissistic supply and new victims.

What is the silent treatment?

The silent treatment is the no1 weapon used by narcissists during which the narcissist acts as if you are non-existent and even refuses to communicate, even if you tried doing so. So, what happens when this silent-treatment is reversed?

How long does it take for a narcissist to come back to you?

Unable to feel being ignored, his inflated ego starts hitting him harder and harder. So, after giving silent treatment for a few weeks , the narcissist will likely come back to you. He may start chasing you so that he can get back his narcissistic supply like before.

Why does a narcissist block you?

The Narcissist may even block you on all his social media accounts and try to act extra friendlier with others, so that he can get more eyeballs from you. His routine bragging and show-off start to begin, just to show you that he is the most valuable person and prove that you are missing a great treasure ignoring him.

Do narcissists demeaning others?

Most of the narcissists have the general habit of demeaning others. This demeaning gets even more intense if you are the one who hurt his ego. So by giving the silent treatment, expect your narcissist to speak extremely bad about you with every person he knows. Jealousy –.

Do narcissists beg you?

While some narcissists may beg and request you while some others may shout and begin a fight with you. The hurt ego of the narcissist makes him vulnerable and pushes him to do weird things just ...

Can a narcissist demean you?

In fact, it is not uncommon for a narcissist to demean you or abuse you in front of others and even at the back of you. Also, the narcissist may replace you with another person, just to trigger emotions of jealousy in you. As more and more days pass by, more signs will start to appear. All with the motive to grab your attention at any cost.

What is the best treatment for personality disorder?

If you are suffering from a personality disorder then ongoing professional counsel ling may be your ideal first point of call. Counselling will utilize theories such as Cognitive behavioural therapy which will help you live a more fulfilling life.

What is the purpose of narcissist silence treatment?

Essentially, the main purpose of doing the Narcissist Silent Treatment is to make the victim feel stressed, ashamed, confused, guilty, unstable, not good enough so that they would do anything or everything that the manipulator wants them to do.

What does it mean when someone loves you and cares about you?

Someone who loves you and cares about you will always come back towards you and will like to have a healthy conversation about the things in between you and how they can be made better. They will not try to make you feel guilty or at fault just because they are the ones who lied or cheated.

What is the difference between silent treatment and narcissistic treatment?

The difference with a narcissist using the silent treatment is that a narcissist will not be able to speak about it afterwards, they will not take any responsibility, or admit they were hurt and used the silent treatment because of that.

What does it mean when someone uses silent treatment?

Now, using the silent treatment doesn’t necessarily mean that someone is a narcissist or a toxic person . It can also be a sign of someone emotionally immature. A normal person, however, will let you know if they need some time to gather thoughts and tell you they will get back to you.

What is the silent treatment used by narcissists?

A very common form of manipulation used by narcissists is the silent treatment. When a narcissist uses the silent treatment, it can be a very draining and painful experience. It’s passive-aggressive and it can be very frustrating and result in a lot of stress and anxiety.

Why do we use silent treatment?

Another important reason to use the silent treatment is avoiding responsibility. It could be a response to you wanting to speak about their behaviour or your relationship. Silent treatment basically is avoidance. It’s avoiding responsibility, blame, and projecting upon others by playing the victim.

How to deal with a narcissist?

When dealing with a narcissist, you have to trust your intuition. It can be very hard to recognize you are not the one to blame, mostly because of earlier emotional abuse or experiences. Now, you can’t change their unhealthy behaviour and you’re not responsible for the behaviour of others.

Why do people punish you?

A common reason is that they could try to punish you because you have hurt their ego, you had slight criticism, or you simply didn’t do what they expected or wanted you to do. The silent treatment could also be a response to you setting a healthy boundary or saying ‘no’ to something.

Do narcissists care about others?

Now, a narcissist doesn’t care about the feelings of others and might even like to play these manipulative games. A narcissist has a lack of empathy and seeks for narcissistic supply, which could be a search for ego-boosting, appreciation, drama, or control.

How to deal with Narcissists?

If they happen to pass your way, then you can politely but firmly inform them that you aren’t interested in what they have to say. However, to get rid of them once and for all, you’ll have to resort to the silent treatment, a classic method of control. The best way to deal with a narcissist in this manner is to simply make yourself disappear.

What happens when you stand up to a narcissist?

They will try to make you feel like you are in the wrong for standing up for yourself, but remember that the only thing they care about is how you make them look. If you have a narcissist in your life, there is a good chance they have been making you feel victimized for a while.

What Happens When You Give a Narcissist the Silent Treatment?

This technique works because it makes the narcissist feel ignored and insignificant. This, in turn, will make them seek attention from someone else. The only downside to this is that you have to do it for a long time before it has any effect on the narcissist.

How to Deal with a Narcissist That Uses The Silent Treatment

Whether you’re dealing with an individual that you’re deeply in love with or someone you just met, the idea of walking away from a conversation that’s going nowhere can be daunting. But it doesn’t need to be. You can be assertive and say what you want instead of letting them dominate the conversation.

What does narcissist do when you ignore them?

In most cases, they don’t mean to be hurtful. Many narcissists genuinely don’t think they’re doing anything wrong. They’re just so obsessed with their own needs that they never think about anyone else’s. When they think you are ignoring them, they can’t control their temper, so they tend to lash out more easily.

Why The Silent Treatment Works?

The silence is important for two main reasons. Firstly, it stops the narcissist from being “the center of the universe.” By controlling what they can control, you’re able to get back at them for their behavior.

How To Give The Silent Treatment?

If you’re in a relationship with a narcissist, make sure that you say something nice and sweet to them before you give them the silent treatment. If your partner is a petty narcissist, they’ll probably respond with an even more petty response if you start this way. It might happen that if you are lucky enough you may get the silent narcissist.

What happens if a narcissist draws a line in a relationship that is not acceptable

If a person draws a certain line in a relationship that is not acceptable to the narcissist but is very rational, even then the silent treatment may be meted out. It may seem weird but even if the narcissist is at fault and has been confronted for the same, ...

How to deal with a narcissist who is threatened?

When they are threatened, according to their psyche, to a compromise or a situation that they don’t want to be in, they will play their cards and want the other person to retrace their steps.

What does it mean when a narcissist feels his or her importance is being diluted?

When a narcissist feels that his or her importance is being diluted, their control is being challenged or they are not being the most rewarded one in the relationship, they will unleash a barrage of various ways to make the other person feel insignificant. One of the most common ways to do so is to bring in the silent treatment.

What is the relationship between a narcissist and a coworker?

While there can be various types of relationships with a narcissist; a person may have a narcissistic boss, a narcissistic friend or coworker, it is the narcissistic partner that causes the most painstaking trauma.

Why is a narcissist incapable of loving?

A narcissist is a self absorbed person and he or she is incapable of loving someone truly because they are actually in love with their own selves. There is nothing and no one more important than them and thus a narcissist will always remain aloof from the emotional investment that the other person may indulge in.

What is silent treatment?

Silent treatment is actually classified as a common form of emotional abuse, most likely to be deployed by a narcissist. It has been observed in most cases that the silent treatment is meted out to a victim when there is actually no fault on his or her part. It is purely the narcissist’s perspective and how they perceive a situation.

Can a narcissist counter the silent treatment?

Unfortunately, it is difficult to counter the silent treatment without opting for intervention for the narcissist in the first place. If the problem is not cured at the root then the symptom of the silent treatment cannot be done away with.

What is the silent treatment of a narcissist?

What is the narcissist’s silent treatment? Just to be clear, the silent treatment is a manipulation tactic where a toxic narcissist will stop talking to you for days, hours, weeks or even months in order to punish you for some perceived slight.

How to understand a narcissist's silent treatment?

Understanding the Narcissist’s Silent Treatment. The first thing you have to do is to educate yourself about the situation. I always say that knowledge is power , and the first fact you need to know about this issue is exactly why narcissists give you the silent treatment in the first place.

Do narcissists want you to bend over backwards?

But the truth is that this is exactly what the narcissist wants – for you to bend over backward trying to appease them. All the while, the narcissist has no intention of allowing that to happen – they will only stop using the silent treatment when it is convenient for them or they want or need something from you.

Who is Angela Atkinson?

Angela Atkinson is a certified trauma counselor and the author of more than 20 books on narcissism, narcissistic abuse recovery, and related topics. A recognized expert on narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder who has studied and written extensively on narcissistic personality disorder and narcissistic abuse in toxic relationships since 2006, she has a popular narcissistic abuse recovery YouTube channel. Atkinson was inspired to begin her work as a result of having survived toxic relationships of her own.

Does silent therapy work for narcissists?

Plus, the silent treatment works particularly well on sensitive, empathic people (who are often quite attractive to narcissists ), because we are wired to respond to and attempt to soothe the emotions of the people around us, especially those we love.

What happens when you go silent on a narcissist?

The silent treatment is especially used by narcissists in a relationship as a means of gaining control. It causes women to develop a progressive feeling of isolation, of being left emotionally dry and bereft precisely in the most intimate of relationship.

Do couples that fight stay together?

Fighting means you’re more likely to stay together. Fighting allows you to focus on your problems and to solve them before they become too large. That’s why couples who argue together, stay together for a long period of time.

Is Silent Treatment childish?

At best the silent treatment isan immature behavior used by spoiled brats and manipulativeindividuals. At worst, it is a weapon used by abusers to punish their victims. One demographic of the population that particularly loves the silent treatment is the narcissist.

What skills does debating develop?

Improving rigorous higher-order and critical thinking skills. Enhancing the ability to structure and organize thoughts. Enhancing learners’ analytical, research and note-taking kills. Improving learners’ ability to form balanced, informed arguments and to use reasoning and evidence.

Why does a narcissist ignore you?

Narcissists will ignore you as a punishment for some perceived slight such as not worshipping them. You may be ostrasized, given the cold shoulder or the silent treatment. This is their way of killing you off. Basically to sum it up, if you are a threat to their ego, you’re going to get ignored!

Why do guys ignore you after an argument?

When you are being ignored by him after an argument, it could be because he doesn’t want the matter to escalate beyond how it is. Maybe he wants the atmosphere to cool down so you can both settle things amicably. He believes ignoring you will make things die down as fast as possible.

Is Silent Treatment manipulation?

The silent treatment is widely regarded as a form of emotional manipulation and even psychological abuse. It is the act of ceasing to initiate or respond to communication with someone else or refusing to acknowledge them altogether.

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