Not what I want to hear. Ever. “Oh, that’s the good cancer. It’s so curable.” “You’re so strong and brave! I could never go through what you’re going through.”
Full Answer
What to say to a cancer patient who doesn’t want to talk?
Cancer patients might not want to talk about their diagnosis, and that’s OK, but if you express your sympathy, at least they know you have their back and will be there if and when they’re ready to talk. Instead of saying: ”What caused your cancer?”
Is it OK to say sorry to hear someone has cancer?
Say: ”I’m sorry.” Even though it’s often overused (like when you bump into someone in the grocery store), it’s OK to say you are sorry to hear someone has cancer. Even if you say nothing other than this, the patient knows that you are thinking of them.
What should you do when you’re going through cancer?
When you’re going through cancer you’ve got more important things to worry about than hurting someone’s feelings. If you know someone who had a bad experience with a treatment, keep it to yourself. No doom and gloom stories please!
Is it hard for you to call someone who is fighting cancer?
It’s just very hard for me to call someone and ask. If a person says these things to someone fighting cancer then you know what specific they are willing to help you with. M. O’Keeffe
What should you not say to someone with battling cancer?
What not to say to someone who has cancer“Everything is going to be OK.” ... “I had a friend who died of cancer.” ... “I know exactly how you feel.” ... “You're lucky it's XYZ cancer instead of ABC cancer.” ... “You look great! ... “Don't compare your breast augmentation, reduction, or lift to their mastectomy.”More items...•
What should you not say to a chemo patient?
Don't minimize their experience. Try not to say, "Don't worry, you'll be fine." You don't know that. Instead say, "I'm really sorry," or "I hope it will be okay." And don't refer to his or her cancer as "the good cancer." These statements downplay what he or she is going through.
What do you say to someone who is undergoing cancer treatment?
Here are some ideas:"I'm not sure what to say, but I want you to know I care"."I'm sorry to hear that you are going through this"."How are you doing?""If you would like to talk about it, I'm here"."Please let me know how I can help"."I'll keep you in my thoughts".
What do cancer patients like to hear?
“Let me help you with…” Instead of hearing “What can I do?” cancer patients want to hear that you already have a specific task in mind. Many cancer patients will decline needing help when they are asked the broad question “What can I help with?” Choose something specific and get started on it.
What should you not say to a terminal illness?
What not to say to someone who is dyingDon't ask 'How are you?' ... Don't just focus on their illness. ... Don't make assumptions. ... Don't describe them as 'dying' ... Don't wait for them to ask.
What can you do to help someone going through chemo?
19 ways to help someone during cancer treatmentTake care of the grocery shopping, or order groceries online and have them delivered.Help keep their household running. ... Bring a cup of tea or coffee and stop by for a visit. ... Give the primary caregiver a break. ... Drive the patient to appointments.More items...•
What are the emotional stages of cancer?
The Five Stages of Dealing with a Cancer DiagnosisState 1: Denial. ... Stage 2: Anger. ... Stage 3: Bargaining. ... Stage 4: Sadness and depression. ... Stage 5: Acceptance.
How do you cheer up someone with cancer?
What you can do: VisitsAlways call before you visit. ... Schedule a visit that allows you to give physical and emotional support for the caregiver, too. ... Make short, regular visits rather than long, infrequent ones. ... Begin and end the visit with a touch, a hug, or a handshake.Be understanding if you are asked .More items...•
How do you give an emotional support to a cancer patient?
Here are 7 tips to maintain or improve emotional well-being for cancer patients and caregivers:Talk to someone who is not a family member. ... Continue with daily activities, but modify if necessary. ... Plan ahead. ... Find support that works for you. ... Balance in-person and online support. ... Tap your community. ... Reach out.
Why do cancer patients get mean?
Cancer patients simply want to be their old selves, Spiegel says, so they often can fail to make their new needs clear to their loved ones and caregivers, which can lead to frustration and anger.
What do you say to someone on the first day of chemo?
Helpful Things to Say to a Person with Cancer“I don't know exactly what to say, but please know how much I care.”“What can I do for you?”“I'm always here if you ever want to talk.”“I'm so sorry this happened to you.”Use humor, but only if you know it will be received positively. ... No words, just listen.
How do cancer patients keep spirits up?
Here are a few things you can do to help keep a cancer patient's spirits up:Send a greeting card, maybe even once a week. ... Offer to come over and just sit with your friend. ... Drop off or send something sweet or silly. ... Text, call, or email to say, "How are you doing?" Maybe even do this once a week or even every few weeks.
How to support a friend with cancer?
Support your friend’s treatment decisions. It’s the person with cancer who gets to decide what treatments to utilize. It is their body and spirit that have to bear the impact of the cancer. Support the decision they make, even if it’s not the same choice you think you would make.
What is the most important thing you can do for someone?
TIP: The most important thing you can do for someone is to listen. Do your best to do this without judging and without “cheerleading.”. Your ability to sit with someone who shares feelings of fear or uncertainty is one of the most significant things you can do to support them.
Should I say "I don't know what to say"?
YES – Share your true feelings. Just because you don’t know what to say doesn’t mean you should avoid the person. A simple, and honest way to handle this is to say “I don’t know what to say.”. You can redirect when you don’t want to talk with others about your friend or loved one’s cancer diagnosis.
What are some phrases that you should never tell someone about cancer?
1. "Oh I know someone with cancer...". No matter how you choose to end this sentence, don't start it. It doesn't matter if the person you knew with cancer lived or not, ...
Is cancer a tough subject?
We are all impacted by it in one way or another; we all know someone who fought it or maybe we even fought it ourselves. No matter how close of a tie we have to cancer, there are a few phrases you should never tell someone with cancer, and questions you should never ask.
Cancer Etiquette for Friends and Family
Speaking from my own experience, I wanted people who had traveled the same road I was about to travel to tell me it would be OK. I would believe them! If you’re not one of them, then find one. If you can’t find one, then find positive (and I repeat positive) stories to share.
The Importance of Staying in Touch
I have a close family member who never once contacted me during my entire ordeal although I would occasionally see her at family gatherings. She always told me that my mother-in-law kept her up to date on how I was doing. To me that was totally unacceptable. Pick up the phone and call your friend or family member. Visit often if you can.
Humor is Healing
I always loved it when friends shared their laughter with me. My sense of humor was and still is a big part of my life. They knew this and did what they could to get me to smile. A bunch of balloons decorated like bald heads was a big hit! A dinner complete with Mickey Mouse plates and matching napkins was just the thing I needed!
What to do instead of asking cancer patients to contact you?
Instead of asking cancer patients to contact you if they need help, tell them what you are going to do for them. For example, you might say that you are cooking them a meal and ask which day this week would be best to bring it over or bring them a frozen meal they can use at their discretion.
What does it mean when a cancer patient says nothing other than this?
Even if you say nothing other than this, the patient knows that you are thinking of them. Cancer patients might not want to talk about their diagnosis, and that’s OK, but if you express your sympathy, at least they know you have their back and will be there if and when they’re ready to talk.
When did Dr. Xavier get diagnosed with testicular cancer?
From being diagnosed in November 2016 at the age of 25, to finishing chemo in January 2017, to being cleared in remission in March, he has been passionate about sharing his story to spread awareness about testicular cancer and promote open conversation about men's health.
Does cancer cause sadness?
As we said, cancer comes with some negative thoughts and bouts of sadness. These feelings are valid and should be valued. Recognizing this and being a source of comfort patients can turn to if they choose to do so allows you to share in this range of emotions with the cancer patient.
Can cancer be prevented?
Many cancers cannot be prevented , as in our cases, but early detection can help get someone on the path to being cured. Phrasing your curiosity about their diagnosis as a way to be proactive about your own health can lighten the weight of asking someone to delve into their medical history.
Does having a positive attitude help cure cancer?
Furthermore, having a positive attitude will not cure cancer on its own. It certainly lightens the seriousness of the diagnosis, but it doesn’t actually help cure cancer. Also, it’s rare to find a cancer patient who doesn’t have a “positive attitude” as best that they could.
Can you imagine how you feel about cancer?
Anything that isn’t really an option doesn’t really seem brave. Say: “I can’t imagine how you feel.”. Simply put, until you have cancer, you do not know what it’s like to have cancer.
What to say to someone with cancer?
If you’re struggling to find the right words, here are 12 kind things to say to someone with cancer: “I’m here for you.”. “You are in my thoughts and prayers.”. “This stinks.”. “Let me help you with…”. Tell a joke. “You are not alone.”. “Any time you need to talk, I’ll listen.”. “What day works for a visit?”.
What to say instead of asking your loved one how you can help?
This is one of the most helpful things you can say. Instead of asking your loved one how you can help, tell them specifically what you’re able to help with. Treatment, doctor’s appointments and physical symptoms make it difficult to keep up with day-to-day life.
Is praying peaceful?
Hearing that your wellbeing is on someone’s mind can be a great comfort, and the act of praying may be very peaceful for you as well. If you or your loved one aren’t religious, it’s still helpful to hear someone is sending you good vibes daily.
Is cancer a joke?
“Cancer is no joke , but is still good to hear one that makes you laugh and takes your mind off of what you are going through. Even if it is just for a couple of minutes! Those minutes always mean the world to me.”
Can you lose hair during chemotherapy?
If undergoing chemotherapy, your loved one may lose their hair during treatment. This is a very emotional process and feeling confident could be a challenge at first. No matter what physical symptoms your loved one is experiencing, this is an opportunity for you to make sure their inner and outer beauty is recognized.
What to say to someone who has cancer?
Sometimes the right thing to say to a person who has cancer is nothing at all. Let the individual scream, shout, punch the wall, shake a fist to the sky, or whatever else will help. Listen to what the person has to say without judgment and make sure the individual knows that you’ll always be there, no matter what. Knowing that someone has one’s back through the roller coaster of a cancer diagnosis and treatment can be a great comfort.
Why is it important to say encouraging words to someone with cancer?
While it’s easy to feel helpless in this situation, it’s important to be aware that providing encouraging words for someone with cancer can be just the lift they need to help them get through the long, difficult road ahead.
What do you need to say to your friend?
Whatever I can do, whatever you need, all you need to do is ask. I'm here for you, my friend. Whatever you need, know that I'm going to be right here for you. Lean on me; that’s what friends are for. Whether you need a shoulder to cry on, a rock to support you or someone to listen to you yell, I am here.
What motivates someone through cancer?
Each day brings new healing. Cancer can't take away your hope. Bravery and courage are two of your greatest assets.
Is humor good for cancer patients?
While cancer is nothing to joke about, humor is sometimes exactly what someone who is facing a serious illness needs. Make sure the time is right before incorporating humor into your interactions with a cancer patient so that the message will be well received. When things are so serious all of the time, a chuckle or two is exactly what is needed. After all, sometimes just getting your mind off "the Big C" is the best way to fight it.
