Treatment FAQ

if a narcissist uses the silent treatment how long does it last

by Walker Tremblay Published 3 years ago Updated 2 years ago

Narcissists

Narcissism

Narcissism is the pursuit of gratification from vanity or egotistic admiration of one's idealised self image and attributes. The term originated from Greek mythology, where the young Narcissus fell in love with his own image reflected in a pool of water. Narcissism is a concept in psychoanalytic theory, which was popularly introduced in Sigmund Freud's essay On Narcissism. The American Psychiatric As…

have a huge patience in waiting for the narcissistic supply. Thus the narcissist’s silent treatment can long for days, weeks, months and even years also. Either if the narcissist is completely satisfied, or if the narcissist fears to lose you, he/she may return back to you.

Full Answer

What happens when you give a narcissist the silent treatment?

When you start to give the silent treatment to the narcissist, the narcissist immediately finds it offending and hurting. As narcissists can’t tolerate being ignored, the act of silent treatment strikes the narcissist much harder than the normal people.

Why do narcissists give you the silent treatment?

The silent treatment of a narcissist is almost like a self defense mechanism. When they are threatened, according to their psyche, to a compromise or a situation that they don’t want to be in, they will play their cards and want the other person to retrace their steps. The silent treatment is pretty similar to a bad breakup.

How to get a narcissist to break the silent treatment?

Why We Give the Silent Treatment — And What to Do About It

  1. You Can’t Reward the Behavior. Many people find that appeasing the withdrawing person, and letting them sulk and stew or coaxing them out of it, as tantamount to giving ...
  2. Give Yourself Some Alone Time. In addition to picturing the silent person as a small baby in diapers, crying, I also like leaving. ...
  3. Talk — At the Right Time. ...
  4. Don’t Engage. ...

What does silent treatment by a narcissist mean?

The silent treatment is a manipulation tactic where a toxic narcissist will stop talking to you for days, hours, weeks, or even months to punish you for some perceived slight. It can cause severe emotional and psychological damage if you don’t realize what is happening. What is the goal of the silent treatment?

How long does the silent treatment go on?

Ideally no more than 1 hour, hopefully less. Say “I will be back in *** (time) to continue the discussion” even if you can only manage to come back to agree to close it down for the time being, or take the matter to counselling.

How long does a narcissists silent treatment last?

It is nothing of the sort – the narcissist fully expects you to be the one to apologize, even when you've done nothing wrong. For narcissists, they use the silent treatment as a form of manipulation. They'll refuse to communicate for days, weeks, or even months.

How do I stop the narcissist silent treatment?

Calmly tell the person that you've noticed they're not responding and you want to understand why. Emphasize that you want to resolve things. While it's not your fault that someone else decides to give you the silent treatment, you do have a responsibility to apologize if you've done something wrong.

Why does a narcissist go silent?

The silent treatment is a form of emotional abuse that no one deserves nor should tolerate. If an individual experiences this absence of communication, it is a sure sign that he or she needs to move on and heal.

How long does it take for a narcissist to come back?

Darlene Lancer, many narcissists can only sustain a relationship for six months to a few years (at the most). Keep in mind, though, we're talking about one four-stage cycle. Too often, a narcissist will initiate the cycle again, training their target to expect them to come back. Narcissists don't offer closure.

How do you know if a narcissist is giving you the silent treatment or the final discard?

The silent discard begins with the silent treatment. This is when someone refuses to respond and ignores their partner/friend's attempt to engage with them to resolve issues. It can be really difficult to understand why someone uses silent treatment rather than discussing a problem to find a solution.

How do you deal with a narcissist ignoring you?

6:509:30When the Narcissist Ignores You, Do This #gamesnarcissistsplayYouTubeStart of suggested clipEnd of suggested clipIt's only going to encourage them to do it again. So just don't do that.MoreIt's only going to encourage them to do it again. So just don't do that.

What happens when you stop reacting to a narcissist silent treatment?

If you ignore a narcissist and deny them their source, they may become enraged and try even harder for your attention – especially in ways that can be toxic or abusive. Ignoring a narcissist will enrage them because of their fragile egos. They'll feel humiliated and lash out against you to protect themselves.

How do you get a narcissist to talk to you again?

If you give the narcissist a sense that you find him or her special, you will find an attentive listener.Silence is the key.Less talk.Keep your interaction short.Keep your words to an absolute minimum.Don't encourage their bragging.Don't give them special treatment.Avoid arguments.More items...•

How do you know if a narcissist is finished with you?

How to Know if a Narcissist Is Finished with You They show no emotion. They criticize you constantly. They blame you for everything. They're always irritated or angry. They pick fights over trivial things. They take advantage of you. They withhold physical affection. They accuse you of cheating.More items...•

How do you respond to silent treatment?

How to respondName the situation. Acknowledge that someone is using the silent treatment. ... Use 'I' statements. ... Acknowledge the other person's feelings. ... Apologize for words or actions. ... Cool off and arrange a time to resolve the issue. ... Avoid unhelpful responses.

What does a narcissist do at the end of a relationship?

At the end of a relationship, narcissists may become combative, passive-aggressive, hostile, and even more controlling. People with NPD often fail to understand other people's needs and values. They are hyper focused on their egos, but do not account for how their actions affect others.

How long does a narcissist's silent treatment last?

Narcissists have a huge patience in waiting for the narcissistic supply. Thus the narcissist’s silent treatment can long for days, weeks, months and even years also.

What does silent treatment mean for a narcissist?

In other words, whenever the narcissist feels a decrease in their narcissist supply, he/she uses the big weapon of silent treatment on targets. So, if you want to know why your narcissist is giving you the silent treatment, you gotta trace out the incident that made him feel less valued.

What happens during silent treatment?

So, during the silent treatment, you get confused and chase back the narcissist. Even if you did not chase, the narcissist knew that you are wondering and thinking about them continuously. This is what makes the narcissist’s ego satisfied and his longing for the narcissistic supply will be fulfilled.

What happens when you get irritated by a narcissist?

You get irritated, you get disturbed, You lose control of yourself and finally, You chase the narcissist and come to them. . And exactly this is what a narcissist expects and wants. By doing so, the narcissist automatically gains control over the relationship..

What is the silent treatment?

To be frank, the silent treatment is one of the narcissist’s cruel weapons used on people who love him. In other words, on the people from whom he gets that narcissistic supply. If you are in a relationship with a narcissist, you might already know how the silent treatment is like.. No calls..

Do narcissists leave their exes?

No matter how much rude they can be.. The narcissist never ever leaves a person from whom he gets the narcissistic supply. This is the reason why many narcissists even try to get in contact with their exes even years after their breakup.

Do narcissists come back?

Narcissists do come back in most cases after the silent treatment. If you clearly observe narcissist patterns and deeply understand a narcissist’s past behaviours, you’ll figure out one thing. No matter how many new people narcissists meet.. No matter how much rude they can be..

What is the silent treatment used by narcissists?

A very common form of manipulation used by narcissists is the silent treatment. When a narcissist uses the silent treatment, it can be a very draining and painful experience. It’s passive-aggressive and it can be very frustrating and result in a lot of stress and anxiety.

What is the difference between silent treatment and narcissistic treatment?

The difference with a narcissist using the silent treatment is that a narcissist will not be able to speak about it afterwards, they will not take any responsibility, or admit they were hurt and used the silent treatment because of that.

What does it mean when someone uses silent treatment?

Now, using the silent treatment doesn’t necessarily mean that someone is a narcissist or a toxic person . It can also be a sign of someone emotionally immature. A normal person, however, will let you know if they need some time to gather thoughts and tell you they will get back to you.

Why do we use silent treatment?

Another important reason to use the silent treatment is avoiding responsibility. It could be a response to you wanting to speak about their behaviour or your relationship. Silent treatment basically is avoidance. It’s avoiding responsibility, blame, and projecting upon others by playing the victim.

How to deal with a narcissist?

When dealing with a narcissist, you have to trust your intuition. It can be very hard to recognize you are not the one to blame, mostly because of earlier emotional abuse or experiences. Now, you can’t change their unhealthy behaviour and you’re not responsible for the behaviour of others.

Is silent treatment painful?

When having to deal with the silent treatment, it can be a very draining and painful experience. It’s manipulative behaviour and a very unhealthy form of communication. From experience, I know how challenging it is to deal with narcissists and their manipulative behaviour. It’s essential to learn to protect yourself and your energy.

Do narcissists care about others?

Now, a narcissist doesn’t care about the feelings of others and might even like to play these manipulative games. A narcissist has a lack of empathy and seeks for narcissistic supply, which could be a search for ego-boosting, appreciation, drama, or control.

What happens if you continue the silent treatment?

If you still continue the silent treatment, the narcissist may finally abandon you and move on with new narcissistic supply and new victims.

How long does it take for a narcissist to come back to you?

Unable to feel being ignored, his inflated ego starts hitting him harder and harder. So, after giving silent treatment for a few weeks , the narcissist will likely come back to you. He may start chasing you so that he can get back his narcissistic supply like before.

What is the silent treatment?

The silent treatment is the no1 weapon used by narcissists during which the narcissist acts as if you are non-existent and even refuses to communicate, even if you tried doing so. So, what happens when this silent-treatment is reversed?

Why does a narcissist block you?

The Narcissist may even block you on all his social media accounts and try to act extra friendlier with others, so that he can get more eyeballs from you. His routine bragging and show-off start to begin, just to show you that he is the most valuable person and prove that you are missing a great treasure ignoring him.

Do narcissists beg you?

While some narcissists may beg and request you while some others may shout and begin a fight with you. The hurt ego of the narcissist makes him vulnerable and pushes him to do weird things just ...

Can a narcissist demean you?

In fact, it is not uncommon for a narcissist to demean you or abuse you in front of others and even at the back of you. Also, the narcissist may replace you with another person, just to trigger emotions of jealousy in you. As more and more days pass by, more signs will start to appear. All with the motive to grab your attention at any cost.

Can a narcissist live without talking to you?

The narcissist may even believe that you can’t live without talking to the narcissist. So, when days start to pass by and if you still continue to give the silent treatment to the narcissist, the actual drama start to begin..

What is silent treatment?

The silent treatment can be defined as the following: a passive-aggressive form of emotional abuse in which displeasure, disapproval, and contempt is exhibited through nonverbal gestures while maintaining verbal silence. Basically, the silent treatment is a passive-aggressive behavior by which an abuser communicates some sort ...

What is the difference between silent treatment and time out?

The silent treatment, on the other hand, is destructive, indefinite, contemptuous, unilateral, and meant to alleviate the abusers sense of responsibility and allocate all the blame onto the victim. It is a manipulation tactic.

Why is silent treatment harmful?

The silent treatment, while sometimes seemingly harmless when talking about it, can be a highly damaging and effective form of manipulation, coercion, and control used by toxic people. It is common, even though many victims feel alone and like they cant talk about it because no one will believe them or understand.

What is it called when you interact with a narcissist?

If you have ever interacted with a person who exhibits strong narcissistic or other dark personality traits, you have likely experienced what is known as the silent treatment .

Why do people take time out?

Instead, a time-out just allows people to gather their thoughts and calm their emotions so that they can re-approach one another in a loving and healthy manner at a later time. The time-out is meant to cause clarity and calmness, while the silent treatment results in ambiguity, confusion, and distress.

What is an example of a child doing something the parent disapproves of?

A child does something the parent disapproves of, often a very minor thing, and the parent starts ignoring them as punishment. It can involve withdrawing attention, ignoring the childs needs, stopping verbal communication, avoiding eye contact, or avoiding any engagement with the child.

Does Psych Central review?

Psych Central does not review the content that appears in our blog network (blogs.psychcentral.com) prior to publication. All opinions expressed herein are exclusively those of the author alone, and do not reflect the views of the editorial staff or management of Psych Central. Published on PsychCentral.com.

What is silent treatment?

Silent treatment is actually classified as a common form of emotional abuse, most likely to be deployed by a narcissist. It has been observed in most cases that the silent treatment is meted out to a victim when there is actually no fault on his or her part. It is purely the narcissist’s perspective and how they perceive a situation.

What happens if a narcissist draws a line in a relationship that is not acceptable

If a person draws a certain line in a relationship that is not acceptable to the narcissist but is very rational, even then the silent treatment may be meted out. It may seem weird but even if the narcissist is at fault and has been confronted for the same, ...

How to deal with a narcissist who is threatened?

When they are threatened, according to their psyche, to a compromise or a situation that they don’t want to be in, they will play their cards and want the other person to retrace their steps.

What does it mean when a narcissist feels his or her importance is being diluted?

When a narcissist feels that his or her importance is being diluted, their control is being challenged or they are not being the most rewarded one in the relationship, they will unleash a barrage of various ways to make the other person feel insignificant. One of the most common ways to do so is to bring in the silent treatment.

What is the relationship between a narcissist and a coworker?

While there can be various types of relationships with a narcissist; a person may have a narcissistic boss, a narcissistic friend or coworker, it is the narcissistic partner that causes the most painstaking trauma.

Why is a narcissist incapable of loving?

A narcissist is a self absorbed person and he or she is incapable of loving someone truly because they are actually in love with their own selves. There is nothing and no one more important than them and thus a narcissist will always remain aloof from the emotional investment that the other person may indulge in.

Can a narcissist convince a victim to go to therapy?

Since the silent treatment is already imposed, it is unlikely that the victim will be able to convince the narcissist to opt for therapy or at least a consultation with a psychiatrist. As the only option, the victim should walk out of the relationship or take some measures which can break the narcissistic silent treatment.

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