how to survive silent treatment

Key things to do when responding to the silent treatment and why:

1. Give the angry party some space. Before you do anything, you should give the angry party some space and time alone so that they can be with their feelings. ...
2. Rethink the situation from the other person’s point of view. ...
3. Seek the opinion of a trusted third party. ...
4. Ask to know what is wrong. ...
5. Apologize. ...

More items...

Full Answer

How do you deal with a silent treatment?

Jun 05, 2018 · When you’re wondering how to respond to the silent treatment, remind yourself that you are being mistreated yourself. Don’t plead with your partner. State clearly that you’re prepared to talk when they’re ready, and leave it at that. Don’t excuse their behaviour.

Can the silent treatment go on forever?

For You 1. Explore Other Areas of Your Life in Which You Feel You Are Not Being Heard The silent treatment is all about... 2. Let Go of Lingering Resentments from Previous Fights Holding onto to past fights makes for one loaded battle. Some... 3. Express How You Feel Outside of …

How to respond to the Silent Treatment with dignity?

Apr 30, 2019 · How to Respond When Someone Gives You the Silent Treatment. 1. Take a gentle approach: Make it about them. If this isn’t something the other person regularly does to you, a gentle approach might be a good way ... 2. Or, make it about you. Tell the person how the silent treatment hurts and leaves you ...

Should you apologize for the silent treatment in a relationship?

Sep 30, 2019 · 1. Communicate that you are hurt when you are hurt.. While it might be easier to take offense or crawl under a blanket... 2. Suggest you both learn better communication skills.. At an opportune time, discuss how to improve communication. 3. Seek out a professional.. If self-improvement fails, see a ...

How do you stay strong in the silent treatment?

How to Respond When Someone Gives You the Silent TreatmentWhen it's abusive.Make it about them.Make it about you.Ignore it.Offer solutions.Stand up for yourself.What not to do.Signs of emotional abuse.More items...•Apr 30, 2019

How long will silent treatment last?

If the perpetrator still refuses to acknowledge the victim's existence for long periods of time, it might be right to leave the relationship. In the end, whether it lasts four hours or four decades, the silent treatment says more about the person doing it than it does about the person receiving it.Mar 26, 2021

What type of person does silent treatment?

The silent treatment is a refusal to verbally communicate with another person, a way of withholding connection. It can be a spouse who stops talking after a fight or a displeased parent who refuses to speak or make eye contact with a child.Apr 7, 2022

Why is silence the best revenge?

Silence speaks volumes Believe it, the silence and zero reaction really bothers your ex, and they consider it as the best served revenge. Nothing creates more curiosity than silence. Your ex would expect a vent or an angry rant from you, but don't give in. If you do, you are meeting their expectations.Sep 9, 2019

What does silence do to a man?

Findings from his in-depth analysis revealed that the silent treatment is 'tremendously' damaging to a relationship. It decreases relationship satisfaction for both partners, diminishes feelings of intimacy, and reduces the capacity to communicate in a way that's healthy and meaningful.

Is the silent treatment disrespectful?

"Many of us are prone to sulk or to pout, and that is an early form of giving somebody the silent treatment." Parrott, a psychology professor at Seattle Pacific University, says nothing good comes from the silent treatment because it's "manipulative, disrespectful and not productive."Aug 3, 2014

Why do men go silent?

Men can be silent when they're angry, happy, fearful, or sad! It's confusing for everyone. Partners, mainly women, experience huge concern, confusion and anxiety when they experience the silence and withdrawal of their partner.

Does silent treatment mean break up?

The silent treatment is a particularly toxic form of behavior that can lead to the breakdown of relationships. When a partner gives you the silent treatment, you might feel a crazy need to make him talk.

What is silent treatment?

What is the Silent Treatment. The silent treatment is an extreme form of communication based on unexpressed hurt feelings. It’s expression through repression, in which the wounded party is trying to convey the simple, albeit silent, message of “I am hurt.”.

What to do when your partner is silent?

Acting like nothing is wrong is probably the worst maneuver you can make when dealing with a partner who has gone silent. Hoping that they will simply come around, or just “get over it” generally doesn’t happen.

How to stop your partner from hurting you?

Own your hang ups. Accept that you have a toxic fighting style. Withholding your love through avoidance and silence is mean and cruel; you now this, because it was done to you. I know that deep down, all you want is for your partner to see that you are hurting. To come to you, to acknowledge your hurt feelings.

How to release emotions from past fights?

Some helpful ways of releasing built up emotions and stress from past fights include exercise, mediation, and deep breathing exercises . My favorite letting go practice is affirmations. I use them as a means of calming down and re-centering my thoughts, energy, and emotions.

Can you express your anger outside of fights?

Express How You Feel Outside of Fights. A fight is not, and should not, be the only time you express your hurt or anger. Sometimes, an unfortunate after-effect of experiencing trauma at a young age is that you fail to see other healthy alternatives for expressing your emotions.

What to do when your spouse is silent?

If it’s your spouse or partner, you both may benefit from couples counseling or individual therapy to learn better ways to manage conflicts. When the silent treatment is part of the larger issue of emotional abuse, don’t blame yourself. It’s not your fault.

How to deal with emotional abuse?

Make it about you. Ignore it. Offer solutions. Stand up for yourself. What not to do. Signs of emotional abuse. Get help. Takeaway. If you’ve ever found yourself in a situation where you couldn’t get someone to talk to you, or even acknowledge you, you’ve experienced the silent treatment.

How does being ostracized affect your self esteem?

Research shows that frequently feeling ostracized can reduce your self-esteem and sense of belonging. It can leave you feeling like you’re without control. This effect may be more intense when it’s done by someone close to you as a form of punishment. know the signs.

What to do when things escalate to emotional abuse?

When things escalate to emotional abuse, you’re not in a healthy relationship. It’s time to put yourself first. If you believe the relationship is worth salvaging: Set firm boundaries about what acceptable behavior is and how you expect to be treated.

What is silent treatment?

The silent treatment can happen in romantic relationships or any type of relationship, including between parents and children, friends, and co-workers. It can be a fleeting reaction to a situation in which one person feels angry, frustrated, or too overwhelmed to deal with a problem.

Why do people go silent?

But some people use the silent treatment as a tool for exerting power over someone or creating emotional distance.

Is silent treatment a form of emotional abuse?

Recognizing other types of emotional abuse. The silent treatment doesn’t always relate to emotional abuse. Some people lack effective communication skills or need to retreat into themselves to work things out. To emotional abusers, though, the silent treatment is a weapon of control.

Why do people use silent treatment?

Someone might use the silent treatment as a way to avoid conflict or deflect responsibility. At times, people use the silent treatment as a way to punish another person. Ultimately, the person lacks the ability to communicate their feelings appropriately.

How to show care for yourself?

Make some time for activities you enjoy and are important to you. This is a great way to show care toward yourself and not let the other person’s actions get the best of you. For example, go for a bike ride, listen to music, paint, or play with your dog. Do the things that make you feel great.

What to do when you know you've done something hurtful?

If you know you’re in the wrong, say something. This gives you a chance to connect with their feelings and let them know that you’re aware of the pain you’ve caused.

How to stop a relationship that is unhealthy?

Finally, don’t get caught up in your feelings. Take care of yourself by doing things you enjoy, focusing on relaxation, or ending the relationship if it’s unhealthy. Steps.

How to deal with someone who has promised to change?

You cannot change someone. If the person has promised to change yet no progress has been made, take some steps to deal with emotional abuse on your own terms. Involve the support of other people. You may need to leave the relationship. Consider if this is a pattern or a one-time occurrence.

Is silent treatment a form of abuse?

Especially if the person uses the silent treatment often, recognize that this is a form of emotional abuse. Emotional abuse may go less detected than physical abuse, but it is still damaging and can affect your self-esteem, sense of self, and self-worth.

Is silent therapy good for a family?

Especially if the person is a family member, partner, or spouse, you may benefit in getting counseling together. Silent treatment is a form of stonewalling, and it does not lead to feelings of intimacy, trust, or happiness in a relationship.

What is selfish treatment?

The selfish. People who haven’t been taught to care effectively for others in a household will use the silent treatment on a regular basis. Selfish people care for themselves over others and when something doesn’t go their way, they ignore others to make a statement.

Why do people use the silent treatment?

People who use the silent treatment to win arguments and gain control need to understand the magnitude of their immature behavior. Confrontation lets them know that you see what they are doing and you understand the tactics they use. After telling them the truth, you can laugh about it.

What does it mean when something isn't going their way?

When something isn’t going their way, they know that their silent treatment may be the only real key to turning the tables and getting exactly what they want, after all. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t. This all depends on the strength and maturity of their intended target. 2. The narcissist.

What is a narcissist?

The narcissist. The narcissist is a troubled and sad individual. Among their weapons of choice, like their other manipulation techniques, they also utilize the silent treatment. The narcissist, since they are void of all original inner substance, will use the silent treatment to further establish who they are.

How to win silent treatment?

1. Shrugging it off. One way to understand how to win the silent treatment is to brush it off or ignore it. If you aren’t necessarily in a close relationship with the person who is giving you the silent treatment, you may be able to just move on and act like nothing happened.

What happens when you are stuck in victim mentality?

So, when they are confronted with something they are doing wrong, they will grow silent and attempt to force their way.

What to do if you are silent?

If you are experiencing the silent treatment from someone you love, then therapy may be the only answer. This only works if your partner is willing to go to therapy in order to move forward. Unfortunately, so many people like using the silent treatment and don’t want a therapist taking that weapon away.

Why is silence golden?

Lastly, silence is golden when it deescalates a situation that could become ugly or hostile. Here, it clearly protects the relationship, which is recognized by all existing anger management programs. It can be discovered in conversation if the silence one encounters is meant to bring peace in any of the described ways.

How to take offense when someone gives you the silent treatment?

While it might be easier to take offense or crawl under a blanket when someone gives you the silent treatment, assert yourself. Counterintuitively, this might mean having to become vulnerable and letting the other know how much the silence hurts. If the other cannot hear you, be proactive. 2.

How to stop bleeding from silent treatment?

Close the door when all else fails and focus on yourself. Becoming mindful, reading, exercising, going for a walk, talking to a friend, listening to music can all be ways to stop the bleeding. 6.

What to do if self improvement fails?

If self-improvement fails, see a professional therapist, because the silent treatment can be considered emotional abuse . 4. Remember the other's helplessness. Consider that the one who uses the silent treatment cannot think of any other remedy.

What is quiet aggression?

Unless, of course, it is meant to be a wordless punishment, quiet aggression that is supposed to “show him” or “show her” how horrible he or she was. Many have difficulties distinguishing the virtuous or wise behavior from the destructive form of communication. Unable to differentiate, they suffer needlessly.

Can silence be uncomfortable?

In addition, people often feel at a loss for how to respond to either silence or the silent treatment. While silence can be uncomfortable when we were raised in a loud family, the silent treatment can be outright terrifying when, in the past, our primary caretaker withheld love.

Is silence a communication skill?

To have knowledge and pointers on the subject can be considered an essential communication skill. Silence in a relationship is a blessing when it is a peacemaker. It is wonderful to go inward and get in touch with one’s most precious inner resource that is the light of consciousness.

How to stay away from negative people?

One of the best policies to stay away from negative people is to ignore them. Don’t waste your time and energy thinking about the rubbish they are spreading about you.

What happens if you initiate a fight with a toxic family?

Just remember, no matter how much they are hurting you, you should not start the fight. If you initiate the fight, you will be thrown in a bad light and that’s what they want. Related: How Coming From A Toxic Family Makes You Hard To Love. 3.

What happens if your family doesn't nurture goodwill?

Relatives who don’t nurture goodwill for you will provoke you to engage in fights with them. Avoid that. If they are saying some bad stuff about you, just ignore it.

Does silent therapy work for narcissists?

Plus, the silent treatment works particularly well on sensitive, empathic people (who are often quite attractive to narcissists), because we are wired to respond to and attempt to soothe the emotions of the people around us, especially those we love.

Is silent treatment abuse?

Make No Mistake: The Silent Treatment IS Abuse. The fact is that the silent treatment is painful and it makes you miserable. As someone who is likely codependent, you may feel that you need to fix whatever you did wrong in order to get the narcissist to be nice to you again.

What is silent treatment?

Summary. The silent treatment is a refusal to communicate verbally with another person. People who use the silent treatment may even refuse to acknowledge the presence of the other person. People use the silent treatment in many types of relationship, including romantic relationships. It can sometimes be a form of emotional abuse.

Why is silent treatment important?

for healthy relationships. Using the silent treatment prevents people from resolving their conflicts in a helpful way. When one partner wants to talk about a problem but the other withdraws, it can cause negative emotions such as anger and distress.

How does silent treatment affect relationships?

How it affects relationships. In most cases, using the silent treatment is not a productive way to deal with a disagreement. Research indicates that both men and women use the silent treatment in relationships. However, clear and direct communication is essential. for healthy relationships.

Why do people stay silent in a conversation?

These include: Avoidance: In some cases, people stay silent in a conversation because they do not know what to say or want to avoid conflict. Communication: A person may use the silent treatment if they do not know how to express their feelings but want their partner to know that they are upset.

What does it mean to acknowledge someone is using the silent treatment?

Acknowledge that someone is using the silent treatment. For example, a person can say, “I notice that you are not responding to me.” This lays the foundation for two people to engage with each other more effectively.

How does silence end?

the silence lasts for extended periods of time. the silence only ends when they decide it does. they talk to other people but not to their partner. they seek alliances from others. they use silence to blame their partner and make them feel guilty.

What to do if someone feels they are in danger?

If a person feels that they or their family are in immediate danger, they must call 911. If they are not in immediate danger, a person who believes that their partner is abusive should consider whether or not they wish to stay in the relationship. It will help someone in an abusive relationship to:

What happens if you are ignored?

Being ignored could cause you to behave in ways you might not normally― things like questioning and second-guessing yourself and others, lashing out, or doubting yourself and situations where you normally don’t. You might start to feel like you’re bothering the other person, or being too needy.

Why is it important to prepare yourself before a big show?

Hence, it’s important to prepare yourself before the big show so that you arrive on stage confident, collected and ready. “Your outside world is a reflection of your inside world. What goes on in the inside, shows on the outside.”.

Why is silent treatment bad?

This decreases intimacy and trust between partners, and can cause anxiety and aggressive behavior. The silent treatment may become a pattern, which hinders the ability to communicate effectively. Many people don’t realize the dangers of engaging in the silent treatment, which only adds to the problem.

What happens if you don't act like yourself?

Realizing you aren’t quite acting like yourself could further feelings of guilt, loss of control, and uncertainty; since these feelings initiate a sense of threat to your survival, this may heighten any fight-or-flight reaction you may have. 5. It can destroy relationships. Often the issue here is with communication.

What is easy to do is also easy not to do?

As Jim Rohn says, “What is easy to do is also easy not to do.” And this is an underlying principle that will carry through in all aspects of communication. Distractions are a surefire way to ensure a lack of understanding or interpretation of a conversation, which in turn, will create inefficiencies and a poor foundation for communication.

What part of the brain is responsible for pain?

There’s a part of our brains specifically designed to detect different levels of pain. It’s called the anterior cingulate cortex, and it activates when someone receives the silent treatment.

What are the emotions that come with being ignored?

This may be a given, but there is a wide variety of overwhelming emotions that come with being ignored. Victims may experience depression, anger, and frustration, as well as feelings of restlessness, isolation and rejection, guilt, loneliness, and despair ― maybe even a sense of betrayal or bitterness. [2]