how to keep calm when someone's giving you the silent treatment

1. Take a gentle approach: Make it about them. If this isn’t something the other person regularly does to you, a gentle approach might be a good way to get ...
2. Or, make it about you. Tell the person how the silent treatment hurts and leaves you feeling frustrated and alone. ...
3. Ignore it until it blows over. The silent treatment isn’t always meant to inflict wounds. Sometimes, it’s an isolated incident that gets out of hand.
4. Offer solutions. Suggest a face-to-face meeting to hammer out some rules for better communication in the future. ...
5. Stand up for yourself. When things escalate to emotional abuse, you’re not in a healthy relationship. It’s time to put yourself first.

Full Answer

What do you say to someone who gives you the silent treatment?

How do you beat the silent treatment?

How do you deal with the silent treatment with dignity?

Is silent treatment toxic?

What does silence do to a man?

Is silent treatment manipulation?

Is silent treatment a form of control?

Does silent treatment mean break up?

How to avoid silent treatment?

1. Improve your communication skills. Better communication skills can help avoid a repeat of the silent treatment if it turns out that a miscommunication caused it in the first place. There are a few simple things you can do to improve your communication skills.

Why do people use silent treatment?

Most people who use the silent treatment on a regular basis do it to get a reaction. If you sound overly hurt or sad, or even desperate to get their friendship back, it gives them incentive to keep using the silent treatment. Instead, do your best to sound calm and in control.

What does silent treatment mean?

The silent treatment indicates that either they don't want to talk to you or they're trying to control you. In both cases, it's probably best to walk away from the relationship. If the person giving you the silent treatment is someone you work with, you probably can't just walk away.

How to confront someone who is silent?

If someone is giving you the silent treatment, you can confront them by having a calm and honest conversation. Ask them to speak in a private place, like a park bench or quiet coffee shop, so you won't get distracted. As you talk, tell them you value your relationship and express how their silence makes you feel.

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Is silent treatment abuse?

You might be thinking that calling the silent treatment abuse is somewhat harsh. After all, there is a vast majority of individuals who only consider bodily harm as abuse.

Gain Some Confidence

We all know just how important having self confidence is, whether we are going through the silent treatment or not. But working on your self confidence will ensure you stay feeling secure, worthy, and happy, even when you’re going through tough ordeals such as the silent treatment.

Do Not Beg for a Response

One of the most important and biggest pieces of advice anyone could ever give you is to NEVER beg for a response from someone giving you the silent treatment.

Never Let Them Know it Is Effecting You

Another big piece of advice is to never let them know that their silent treatment is effecting you in any way. You see, to a narcissistic person, they feel good knowing they are getting to you. It is their main goal, and if you let them know it’s bothering you, they feel like they have won.

Do Not Try to Argue With Them

Someone who is giving you the silent treatment is probably someone who is incredibly angry with you to begin with. Whether it was something small or large, whether it was one sided or you both played a role, the fact of the matter is they are angry and the only way they know how to deal with it is to completely cut you off.

Do Not Apologize for No Reason

Sometimes people argue because they disagree about something, and if that is the case in your situation, do not apology if you truly meant what you said. Apologizing when you have absolutely no reason to, just to get this person to talk to you, is a very cowardly way to fix the situation.

Do Not Keep Bugging Them

Sending message after message is not going to get them to talk to you. If anything, all they are going to do is be completely annoyed with you and not want to respond. Instead, find some other ways to communicate with someone who is giving you the silent treatment:

How to help someone in an abusive relationship?

It will help someone in an abusive relationship to: 1 stay in contact with their family and friends 2 talk privately with a trusted professional, such as a counselor or domestic violence advocate, who can discuss the person’s options in a safe space 3 seek advice and support from a domestic abuse organization, such as the National Domestic Violence Hotline or Love is Respect

Why do people use the silent treatment?

People use the silent treatment for a number of reasons. These include: 1 Avoidance: In some cases, people stay silent in a conversation because they do not know what to say or want to avoid conflict. 2 Communication: A person may use the silent treatment if they do not know how to express their feelings but want their partner to know that they are upset. 3 Punishment: If a person uses silence to punish someone or to exert control or power over them, this is a form of emotional abuse.

How does emotional abuse affect a person?

In addition to the silent treatment, a person might use other types of emotional abuse to control their partner, such as: 1 monitoring their activities 2 demanding access to their phone, email account, and other digital information 3 deciding what they wear, eat, or drink 4 isolating them from their family and friends 5 controlling all their finances and spending 6 controlling whether or not they go to work or school 7 humiliating them in front of others or on social media 8 using intimidating behavior, threatening them, or giving them ultimatums 9 threatening to harm themselves, pets, or loved ones 10 gaslighting them 11 withholding affection, such as sexual activity 12 guilt-tripping them

What is silent treatment?

Summary. The silent treatment is a refusal to communicate verbally with another person. People who use the silent treatment may even refuse to acknowledge the presence of the other person. People use the silent treatment in many types of relationship, including romantic relationships. It can sometimes be a form of emotional abuse.

Why do people use silence?

they talk to other people but not to their partner. they seek alliances from others. they use silence to blame their partner and make them feel guilty. they use silence to manipulate or “improve” their partner, or to pressure them to change their behavior.

What is the meaning of "controlling"?

controlling all their finances and spending. controlling whether or not they go to work or school. humiliating them in front of others or on social media. using intimidating behavior, threatening them, or giving them ultimatums. threatening to harm themselves, pets, or loved ones. gaslighting them.

How to deal with a person who is abusive?

Avoid becoming defensive or going into problem-solving mode. Try to stay present and listen empathically. If the person responds in a threatening or abusive way, it is important to remove oneself from the situation until they calm down. Talk to a doctor, therapist, or trusted friend for help.

Is the silent treatment good?

No, the silent treatment is seldom a good idea. When you’re using the silent treatment, you’re attempting to manipulate and control your partner or spouse. I can understand your resorting to not responding to your partner or spouse if they continue to batter your ears over something you really don’t want to talk about.

Can you change your partner?

you are not your partner’s therapist. you cannot change your partner, and neither should you change yourself to fit in with their demands beyond reasonable compromises.

How to deal with silent treatment?

3. Seek out a professional. If self-improvement fails, see a professional therapist, because the silent treatment can be considered emotional abuse . 4. Remember the other's helplessness. Consider that the one who uses the silent treatment cannot think of any other remedy. This, too, is suffering.

Is silence a blessing?

Silence in a relationship is a blessing when it is a peacemaker. It is wonderful to go inward and get in touch with one’s most precious inner resource that is the light of consciousness. It is in quiet moments that we rest and recharge.

Is silence a communication skill?

To have knowledge and pointers on the subject can be considered an essential communication skill. Silence in a relationship is a blessing when it is a peacemaker. It is wonderful to go inward and get in touch with one’s most precious inner resource that is the light of consciousness.

Why is silence golden?

Lastly, silence is golden when it deescalates a situation that could become ugly or hostile. Here, it clearly protects the relationship, which is recognized by all existing anger management programs. It can be discovered in conversation if the silence one encounters is meant to bring peace in any of the described ways.

What is social identity theory?

Their study is based on social identity theory, which proposes that “individuals are generally motivated to maintain or enhance perceptions of their self-worth.". In the workplace, social identity theory implies that you want to feel cared about by your employer.

What does it mean when you are treated unfairly?

In relationships, as in the workplace, this means that if you’re treated unfairly, you’ll use the passive-aggressive state of silence in an effort to defend your sense of self in a way that is less risky than speaking out about the unfairness. You can’t get in trouble, so this reasoning goes, for what you don’t say.

What is the most unproductive thing you can do?

However, one of the most unproductive things you can do is to send them constant messages, keep calling them, or try to meet them without their consent. It could not only annoy the person further but also overwhelm them, making the situation worse.

How to release pent up emotions?

Journaling or talking to a sympathetic friend can also be useful and can help you release pent-up emotions that might otherwise explode. Take time to socialize with other people you feel comfortable around. Whatever you do, the important thing is to avoid letting this difficult situation consume you.

What to do when someone ignores you?

Finally, if you're dealing with someone who has been ignoring you because they're hurt or angry about something you've done, it's often the case that an apology is the quickest way to move on.

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What does it mean to give someone the silent treatment?

By giving the silent treatment, you are inferring that you are in the right and they are in the wrong and that it is their responsibility to fix this. You give them no choice in the matter – if they do not do what you want, the silence will carry on. 2. It’s a means of punishing the other person.

What is silent treatment?

The silent treatment is the refusal to engage in verbal communication with someone, often as a response to conflict in a relationship. Also referred to as giving the cold shoulder or stonewalling, its use is a passive-aggressive form of control and can, in many circumstances, be considered a form of emotional abuse.

Do you have to be free to act in a relationship?

In any type of relationship, both parties should feel free to act how they choose. Yes, they may make bad choices and do things that hurt others or themselves, but they do so of their own volition.

What does it mean when one party takes a temporary oath of silence after a disagreement?

When one party takes a temporary oath of silence after a disagreement, it is their way of telling the other person, “You did this. You are to blame. I am innocent.”

Why is it important to remain quiet?

In this case, remaining quiet is a way to cope with the situation and the person. Silence is a form of protection and is often the only way to calm things down following an altercation. The silent treatment is also recommended if you have escaped an abusive relationship with a narcissist or sociopath.

Can you assert boundaries?

Of course, a person can have boundaries and can assert those boundaries when another person crosses them. But the silent treatment doesn’t assert those boundaries in a healthy way. It doesn’t communicate precisely what the boundary was or what the other person did to cross it.