Take your paperwork to the clerk's office. Either on your own or with your attorney, file your petition and motion in the clerk's office of the state court in the county where you and your stepchild live. You should have the originals plus 2 copies of every document you plan to file.
Full Answer
Why can’t I authorize medical treatment for my stepchild?
Because you have no official legal status, the medical community may not allow you to authorize medical treatment for your stepchild. And because, legally, stepparents have no authority, care providers have developed some policies to deal with the issue.
How do I choose the best treatment program for my child?
Start by paying close attention to your child's problem behaviors and finding a treatment program that meets your family's needs. When you admit your child to the program, ask lots of questions so you can provide the best support possible. Notice if your child's behavior seems off.
How do you deal with a stepson or stepdaughter?
We encourage stepparents to establish a relationship with their stepkids rather than being a dictator or rigid authoritarian. Simply be present in the child’s life and avoid “fixing things” or competing with the bio-parent. Discover the things your stepson or stepdaughter likes.
How can I Make my stepchildren feel better?
If the couple is able to gain the skills to listen and understand what the child is going through, over time, the kids will usually respond productively. Find something good about your stepkids.
What do you do when you hate your stepchild?
So what to do? First, if you really not only dislike the stepchildren but can't stand them, please consider whether the relationship is worth it and will survive over time. Seek individual therapy and think about the long term.
Is it OK to not like your stepchild?
The US National Stepfamily Resource Center says it can take a minimum of four years for stepkids and step-parents to feel comfortable with one another while British author and family psychologist Dr Lisa Doodson says it's completely normal to not feel that instant love connection.
Can I take my stepson to the ER?
If an emergency occurs or a child needs medical attention, a step-parent can take them to the hospital.
How do you treat your stepchildren?
Here are some tips to help you ease into your relationship with your stepchild and your role as a step-parent.Talk with your partner. Ask your partner questions like:Get to know your stepchild. ... Focus on positives. ... Take things slowly. ... Think about former partners. ... Look after yourself.
What step parents should not do?
What not to do as a stepparentTry too hard to please: Many stepparents try too hard to please their stepchildren. ... Impose your own rules without an agreement: Rules often cause misunderstandings in families with stepparents. ... Set your expectations too high: Don't assume you will fit in with the new family immediately.More items...•
What is mini wife syndrome?
The definition of mini wife syndrome (or mini husband syndrome) is when your partner's kid thinks they're running the show... and your partner does not correct them on that! Mini wife/mini husband syndrome isn't exactly spousification, nor is it quite codependency— although it does include elements of both.
Can a stepmother take a child to the doctor?
The short answer is no. A stepparent may not consent to the medical treatment of their stepchild because a stepparent does not, merely by reason of such relationship (marrying a parent), acquire a parental status. Rutkowski v. Wasko, 286 A.D. 327, 331 (3d Dep't 1955).
Can a stepmom make medical decisions?
Without the consent of the legally recognized parents, a stepparent cannot send a stepchild to military/boarding school, make medical decisions, or make other decisions that parents routinely make. Fortunately, there are options for stepparents that want to be more involved in their stepchild's lives.
What rights do I have as a stepmother?
Unfortunately, step parents do not have any legal rights to their stepchildren, even if you consider them to be your own children. Unless you legally adopted these children as your own, you cannot lay claim to them during your divorce proceedings.
Who comes first in a blended family?
In traditional relationships, the couple develops a relationship first, then becomes parents together. Blended families flip this, and it's the parent/child relationship that has the history and the deeper connection.
What is stepchild syndrome?
In evolutionary psychology, the Cinderella effect is the phenomenon of higher incidences of different forms of child abuse and mistreatment by stepparents than by biological parents. It takes its name from the fairy tale character Cinderella, which is about a girl who is mistreated by her stepsisters and stepmother.
Why are stepchildren so difficult?
Another reason stepparenting can be harder than parenting is that stepchildren come into the mix at a variety of ages. Their ages can influence how quickly you can build a relationship with them. Children under 10 are often quickest to accept a stepparent, while children ages 10 to 14 may have the most difficult time.
How to get an addicted child to help?
The first step to getting an addicted child help is to make sure the problem is indeed addiction. Symptoms of drug abuse and symptoms of mental illness often overlap, and forcing a child into addiction treatment when there is no addiction can cause serious damage to the parent-child relationship. This is complicated by the fact ...
Why do kids resist drug rehab?
Underage people are more likely to resist treatment due to a lack of experience and foresight regarding how addiction will make transitioning into adulthood extremely difficult as well as how much drug abuse ...
How to tell if a child is addicted to drugs?
Parents who suspect drug abuse and addiction should keep an eye out for the signs: 1 Staying out late 2 Change in social circles 3 Changes in sleep schedule 4 Secretive or withdrawn behavior 5 Changes in hygiene or grooming habits 6 Unexplained weight change 7 Unusually large or small pupils 8 Health changes (feeling sick after staying out late) 9 Sudden reduction in ability to meet school responsibilities 10 Bloodshot eyes 11 Drug paraphernalia 12 Severe mood swings 13 Anxiety and paranoia 14 Decrease in ability to focus 15 Frequent unexplained lethargy 16 Increased aggression 17 Loss of interest in hobbies or extracurricular activities 18 Unexplained agitation or increase in energy followed by a crash
How many teens use illicit drugs in 2014?
Teen use of illicit drugs is more common than many parents realize. According to the National Institute on Drug Abuse, 27.2 percent of teens from grades 8-12 used an illicit drug at least once in 2014. Additionally, 19.4 percent of high school seniors reported binge drinking that year.
What happens if a child is forced into rehab?
If the child was forced into rehab, or if deception occurred during active addiction as it usually does, it’s likely that trust between the parents and the teen will need to be rebuilt. Family therapy can be very helpful for this process, but the most important thing is to ensure the child is supported and feels loved.
What is intervention in rehab?
An intervention is a very emotional event. The person with the substance abuse problem will often get caught up in that emotion and agree to go to rehab based on this, but if that emotion has time to wear off, that individual might have a change of heart and refuse.
What are the symptoms of a teenager?
Increased aggression. Loss of interest in hobbies or extracurricular activities. Unexplained agitation or increase in energy followed by a crash. Some of these are symptoms of mental illness like depression, anxiety disorders, or bipolar disorder. Others are just signs of being a teenager.
Why is it so hard to see your stepchild?
It’s hard to see your stepchild when they come back from a holiday with their other set of parents, and they have better presents than you gave them, or when they’re bragging about the things they did together—or when they’re sad about the things they used to do before their original family split up.
Why do step parents get upset?
Naturally, stepparents become very upset when their stepchildren are disrespectful to them. I’ve had parents come to me in difficult situations where the kids were really being rude or obnoxious, saying things like, “You’re not my father, I don’t have to listen to you!”.
What to say when your stepkids say "I'm not your mom"?
Here’s an example. If one of your stepkids says, “ You’re not my mom; I don’t have to do what you say!” . You can say, “No, I’m not your mother, but you have to do your homework anyway.”. Or, “We ’re not talking about me being your father. We’re talking about when you’re going to start your homework.”.
How to feel stronger in a blended family?
Know that it’s natural to feel a stronger connection to your own child, a special love for and commitment to them. But in a blended family, you have to keep those thoughts in a separate compartment from parenting. Understand that when you’re parenting, they’re all your kids.
What happens when two adults decide to blend their families?
When two adults decide to blend their families, kids have no choice. They can feel powerless, threatened and overwhelmed. The idea is to give them appropriate ways to express themselves so they don’t have to act out their feelings behaviorally.
What happens if you try to do a family meeting without getting input first?
If you try to do a family meeting without getting the input first, it’s very likely that people will get defensive or feel threatened. But if birth parents can talk to their kids about their concerns, it is much easier to work them out, and it’s much easier for the two adults to come to an agreement.
Can a child respect his stepparent?
The truth is a child may never respect his stepparent, but he does have to know that he can’t get away with being rude or obnoxious to them. The only way to achieve the desired behavior is to be certain you and your spouse are united in making sure that your kids treat you with respect.
What to do if your stepchild needs a consequence?
If there’s a behavior for which your stepchild needs a consequence, let your spouse deal with it and support their decision. The good cop finds out the interests of the stepchild and develops the relationship by getting involved in the child’s life based on those discoveries.
How to start a relationship with your stepdaughter?
Discover the things your stepson or stepdaughter likes. Start off as you would with any friendship: find some common ground and do things together that you might both enjoy. Remember, you’re just there to build a relationship appropriately, not to parent or take the place of your stepchild’s mother or father.
Is it easy to parent a blended family?
Parenting is never easy, but when you have a blended family—with bio-kids and stepkids, your spouse’s ex, and other extended family members thrown into the mix—things can get very difficult very quickly. We receive questions every week in Empowering Parents from readers who ask: “How can I discipline my stepkids effectively and get their respect? ...
Do adults blend their families?
Many adults try to blend their families with high expectations: they may think it will be similar to their first marriage in terms of time spent with their spouse and the attention they’ll be able to give the relationship. Unfortunately, this couldn’t be further from the truth.
Can you make your step kids like you?
And remember, you can’t make your stepkids like you , either! You are the “intruder.”. In their minds, you’ve displaced them. But even if you don’t like them, you can learn to act lovingly toward them. Love is an action; so behave in a loving manner toward your stepkids.
How much does it cost to adopt a stepchild?
Although it varies per state, in total, it typically costs $1500-$2500 to adopt a stepchild, even if you have the other parent's consent, and even if you don't use a lawyer (because one will often be appointed for the child). All courts have a process for waiving some or all of the filing fees.
What does it mean to be a stepparent?
For the biological parent, it means agreeing to give legal rights to the child over to a new spouse. Consider sessions with a family counselor. This helps to make sure everyone understands what a stepparent adoption means to the family, and helps ensure it's what the child wants.
What are the consequences of stepparent adoption?
A stepparent adoption has permanent legal consequences for the biological parent, the adopting parent, and the child. You need to understand and accept them. Consult with an attorney if you have any questions. The biological parent needs to know that this adoption makes your current spouse the child's legal parent.
How long do you have to live with a stepparent to adopt a child?
Once complete, you will file your petition, with the fee, in the courthouse of the county where you have lived with the child for at least six months.
What is stepparent adoption?
In the rush of happiness, it may not seem like there is any downside, but a stepparent adoption is a monumental change for your family. This adoption will legally remove one of the child's biological parents from his/her life, give him/her a new name, and transform his/her stepparent into his/her legal mom or dad.
What documents do you need to get a child's birth certificate?
At a minimum you will need a certified copy of the child's birth certificate, your marriage documents, and the biological parents' divorce documents (if they were married. ) If the absent parent is deceased, you should get a certified copy of the death certificate.
What happens to the biological child after adoption?
After the adoption, there is no difference in the legal status between children of another marriage and the birth children of the marriage. The word "stepchild" disappears into irrelevance. Steps.
How to bond with stepchildren?
Use routines and rituals to bond. Creating family routines and rituals can help you bond with your new stepchildren and unite the family as a whole. Plan to incorporate at least one new family ritual, such as Sunday visits to the beach, a weekly game night, or special ways to celebrate a family birthday.
What age group is considered stepfamily?
Teenagers 15 or older. May have less involvement in stepfamily life. Prefer to separate from the family as they form they own identities. May not be open in their expression of affection or sensitivity, but still want to feel important, loved and secure.
Why is it harder to take care of a blended family?
It’s harder to take care of the marriage in a blended family because you don’t have the time to adjust as a couple like in most first marriages. You’ll have to grow and mature into the marriage while parenting. Being civil.
How to get your kids used to your spouse?
Try to get the kids used to your partner and their children in daily life situations. Make parenting changes before you marry. Agree with your new partner how you intend to parent together, and then make any necessary adjustments to your parenting styles before you remarry.
How to overcome challenges in blended families?
You can learn how other blended families overcome challenges. Spend time every day with your child. Try to spend at least one “quiet time” period with your child daily. Even in the best of blended families, children still need to enjoy some “alone time” with each parent.
What do children want?
Children want to feel: Safe and secure. Children want to be able to count on parents and step-parents.
Can my kids be excited about remarrying?
While you as parents are likely to approach remarriage and a new family with great joy and expectation, your kids or your new spouse’s kids may not be nearly as excited. They’ll likely feel uncertain about the upcoming changes and how they will affect relationships with their natural parents.
Do stepparents try to make an instant bond?
"Many stepparents try too hard to create an instant bond," says Christina Steinorth, MFT, author of Cue Cards for Life: Gentle Reminders for Better Relationships. "Though they have good intentions, many stepparents try to buy their stepchild's love through lots of gifts or by being the really cool parent. Kids can see right through that." Be realistic -- and be yourself. You'll have a better chance of developing that close relationship you long for.
Should stepchildren spend time with their biological parents?
DO encourage your stepchild to have one-on-one time with both of their biological parents. "Some stepparents are threatened by their stepchildren spending time alone with their biological parent -- especially their spouse's ex -- but they shouldn't be," Steinorth says.
What is the forced relationship between step parents and children?
Another one of the seldom-discussed realities of being a step-parent is "the forced relationship between the step-parent and the child," says Martinez. "Most relationships form organically, and some step-parents try and fast-pace the relationship almost as a way to catch up with the other two parents."
Can parents be unified when disciplining a child?
Shutterstock. Though beliefs often differ, parents have to be unified in their decision when it comes to disciplining a child. Throw a step-parent in the mix, however, and you have not two, but three different parents who need to agree on the best punishment tactics in order to be effective.
Do you see your step children as your own?
Just because you see your step-children as your own doesn't necessarily mean that the rest of your family will , unfortunately . As Robyn notes, " our extended families will react differently to our step-children. In some cases, they will be part of the family, and in other cases, they will always be seen as our spouse's children."
Can my step kids get divorced?
"Many children never outgrow the desire for their parents to reunite," says Robyn. And if this is the case with your step-children, then you might find that they "punish" you for the divorce —despite the fact that you weren't a part of their life until well after all the paperwork was signed and finalized.
Is step dading easier?
"Step-fathering, on the whole, is much easier," says Dr. Campbell. "Children tend to be fine with them being in the background. They aren't compared to their dad much. Step-kids either see them as fun or as a real non-issue. They also tend to follow his rules automatically for fear of making him angry."
Do step parents have a relationship with their children?
Relationships take time to develop, and the step-parent/step-child relationship is no exception. The problem? According to Elisa Robyn, PhD, step-moms and step-dads often have "' Brady Bunch ' expectations" when it comes to joining their spouse's family, and these unrealistic expectations only end up making things worse when problems inevitably arise.
Can you bond with a stepparent?
"Don't take it personally if initially your child is reluctant [to bond]," says Dr. Gail Saltz, an associate professor of psychiatry at the Weill-Cornell School of Medicine in New York City. At the beginning, having a new step-parent "is anxiety-inducing" for a child, and so you need to keep this in mind as you allow your relationship to blossom.
