How to deal with the silent treatment from your spouse.
- Check what caused the silent treatment. When you met with silent treatment, either your partner is completely pissed off that he/she is trying to take ...
- Confront your partner. Sometimes, your partner might be unwilling to reveal the reason behind the silent treatment. Many people try the silent ...
- Remain busy and occupied. Silent treatment is almost always meant to make the victim sad and upset and when you understand this, you will know how to ...
- Ignore your partner. Silent treatment can sometimes be dealt with the same treatment from your part as well. When your partner gives you the silent ...
Full Answer
When to give your spouse the silent treatment?
Once your partner finds that the plan is not working, he/she will stop the silent treatment and be willing to talk about the actual problem. Ignore your partner. Silent treatment can sometimes be dealt with the same treatment from your part as well. When your partner gives you the silent treatment, ignore him and move on with your chores.
Why does my husband give me silent treatment?
Feb 01, 2022 · In a marriage, one spouse will often use the silent treatment as a passive aggressive way to punish the other spouse. Instead of trying to resolve a problem, the silent treatment may be employed as a way to try and get the other person to give in or to avoid the problem altogether. Sometimes spouses use the silent treatment in marriage as a means to …
How to cope with silent treatment in marriage?
Jun 01, 2020 · Fall back on the silent treatment when things don't go their way; Use it as a way to avoid taking responsibility for bad behavior; Punish you with the silent treatment when you upset them; Require you to apologize or give in to demands just so they will talk to you; Refuse to acknowledge you until you grovel and plead
What couples should know about the silent treatment?
2. Explain to your Silent Spouse your need and desire to communicate. This may seem simple, but misunderstandings and assumptions happen all the time in marriages, hurting the couple. They may think the silence is golden, causing a false sense of peace, and not realizing that the silence is damaging your relationship. 3. Be ready to listen, not just talk.
How do you deal with a spouse that gives you the silent treatment?
How to Respond to the Silent Treatment from Your SpouseDon't assume you know the reason for the silent treatment. ... Explain to your Silent Spouse your need and desire to communicate. ... Be ready to listen, not just talk. ... Be gracious, not caustic or sarcastic, when your spouse does make the effort to talk with you.More items...
How do you deal with the silent treatment with dignity?
Maintain your dignity and try these six strategies.Look for the reasons behind the silent treatment. ... Share the psychology behind silent treatment. ... Avoid reacting to silent abuse. ... Respond with calmness and speak kindly. ... State your boundaries clearly. ... Take care of yourself. ... Consider professional therapy.Apr 26, 2021
How do you respond to silent treatment or stonewalling?
Responding to being stonewalled People copping the silent treatment often try to win the person over, and feel further hurt when they don't succeed, Ms Shaw says. "If you know your partner is locked into negative feelings, extending some sort of olive branch once can be helpful," she says.Apr 29, 2019
What type of person gives the silent treatment?
Research. Researchers have found that the silent treatment is used by both men and women to terminate a partner's behaviors or words rather than to elicit them. 1 In abusive relationships, the silent treatment is used to manipulate the other person and to establish power over them.Jun 1, 2020
How do you outsmart a narcissist silent treatment?
You've changed your behavior to avoid getting the silent treatment.Take a gentle approach: Make it about them. ... Or, make it about you. ... Ignore it until it blows over. ... Offer solutions. ... Stand up for yourself.Apr 30, 2019
Is silent treatment manipulation?
The silent treatment is widely regarded as a form of emotional manipulation and even psychological abuse. It is the act of ceasing to initiate or respond to communication with someone else or refusing to acknowledge them altogether.Nov 27, 2018
What happens when you give a narcissist the silent treatment?
Essentially, the narcissistic person's message is one of extreme disapproval to the degree that the silence renders the target so insignificant that he or she is ignored and becomes more or less nonexistent in the eyes of the narcissistic person.Jun 2, 2014
Is the silent treatment toxic?
Why the Silent Treatment Is So Harmful When you're on the receiving end of the silent treatment, you may feel powerless, disrespected, invisible, frustrated, or angry — or you may cycle through all of these emotions. “Many people feel powerless because we as humans are inherently social creatures.Mar 10, 2021
What does it mean when your partner stops talking to you?
If your partner seems to have stopped talking to you out of the blue or after a fight, clearly the two of you are having a conflict – even if you weren’t aware that you’d done something ‘wrong’.
Is the silent treatment good?
No, the silent treatment is seldom a good idea. When you’re using the silent treatment, you’re attempting to manipulate and control your partner or spouse. I can understand your resorting to not responding to your partner or spouse if they continue to batter your ears over something you really don’t want to talk about.
Can you change your partner?
you are not your partner’s therapist. you cannot change your partner, and neither should you change yourself to fit in with their demands beyond reasonable compromises.
Why does my spouse give me the silent treatment?
Making assumptions about what’s going on in your spouse’s head and heart can be counterproductive. If your spouse hasn’t explained the silence, your assumptions can cause defensiveness, anger, and extended silence if you’re seen as oversimplifying or arrogant.
What is the importance of communication skills?
Communication is a two-way street that requires talking and listening. Listening skills are as important, if not more so, than explaining yourself is when you are trying to coax your silent spouse. If a spouse senses that you just want him or her to talk as a set-up for you to take the floor and give him or her a piece of your mind, your spouse likely will clam up. Learning effective listening is critical to communication.
Can a grudge be natural?
Grudges can be natural, even understandable, in certain circumstances—but they are also devastating. Some people who are carrying a long-term grudge think it doesn’t impact the rest of their lives. But a grudge tends to leak out into other parts of life. You’ll need to work on letting it go.
Is complacency a destructive thing?
Complacency is so destructive in marriage. If you are feeling worn down by the loneliness and the silence, find friends and family who will encourage you and hold you up.
Is it hard to empathize with someone who is hurting you?
Empathy is hard to do, especially for someone who is hurting you. If you want their sympathy for your loneliness more than you want to empathize with and understand their pain, you are probably encouraging the silent treatment.
Why the Silent Treatment Happens
In general, the silent treatment “is a way to try and inflict emotional pain on someone as a consequence of feelings of anger or frustration,” explains relationship therapist Megan Harrison, LMFT. “Through withholding approval, they are non-verbally expressing that your actions and words are unacceptable.”
Why the Silent Treatment Is So Harmful
The silent treatment is a harsh tactic. When you’re on the receiving end of the silent treatment, you may feel powerless, disrespected, invisible, frustrated, or angry — or you may cycle through all of these emotions.
How to Respond to the Silent Treatment: What to Say and How to Say It
The best thing to do when your loved one won’t communicate (and may be giving you the death stare) is to not escalate things, Harrison says. “Don’t take it personally. Be calm and patient. Do not respond in anger, don’t be patronizing or condescending, and don’t beg your partner to respond,” she advises.
How to End the Silent Treatment for Good
If the silent treatment is a fairly common reaction from your partner, address that during this initial conversation. “Talk about how you would prefer if they didn’t use this, with an emphasis on why it’s damaging, how you feel, and how it doesn’t help resolve the situation,” Gordon recommends.
Why does my husband give me the silent treatment?
In a marriage, one spouse will often use the silent treatment as a passive aggressive way to punish the other spouse.
Why is it important to talk to your wife?
It’s important to talk to your wife when you’re both calm to develop some strategies to help you resolve conflict in a more productive manner. If the two of you can successfully resolve a few problems together, it’s likely your wife will gain confidence in your ability to work together as a couple.
Why do people seek help for their marriage?
Unresolved conflict is one of the most common reasons people seek help for their marriage. Often, a lack of healthy communication skills in marriage can lead to couples saying and doing things that can be damaging to their marriage.
What to do if your partner is silent?
If your partner is unwilling to change, you may want to consider your options including breaking off the relationship at some point.
What is silent treatment?
Silent treatment is a flat-out refusal to ever discuss the issue —now or later. In other words, their silence deflects the conversation and communicates that the issue is off-limits. When this happens, the person on the receiving end of the silent treatment must continue to wrestle with their pain and disappointment alone.
Why do people use silent treatment?
Research. Researchers have found that the silent treatment is used by both men and women to terminate a partner's behaviors or words rather than to elicit them. 1 In abusive relationships, the silent treatment is used to manipulate the other person and to establish power over them.
How to get rid of a cold shoulder?
Give you the cold shoulder for days or weeks at a time. Refuse to talk, make eye contact, answer calls, or respond to texts. Fall back on the silent treatment when things don't go their way. Use it as a way to avoid taking responsibility for bad behavior. Punish you with the silent treatment when you upset them.
How to use silence?
Use silence as a passive-aggressive way to control your behavior (e.g., you give in to demands or you avoid certain behaviors to avoid the silent treatment) Silence you when you attempt to assert yourself by refusing to talk. Use it as the primary means of dealing with conflict.
Is it good to be silent?
Sometimes remaining silent can be a positive thing, especially if it keeps people from saying things they might later regret. Other times, silence is an unhealthy reaction to something upsetting, but, with time, the silence subsides and the couple is able to work out some sort of resolution.
Is it acceptable to be silent in a relationship?
There are times in relationships when being silent is acceptable and even productive. For instance, a couple, or even just one partner, may take a thoughtful timeout from a heated argument to cool off or gather their thoughts. What distinguishes this silence from the silent treatment is that the timeout is mindful and there is an assumption or agreement that they will revisit the topic again later.
How to deal with a silent spouse?
Dealing with a silent spouse can elicit a lot of negative emotions, and it can be hard to treat them the way you want to be treated. But it’s important, in part, because you are trying to model for them how you want them to interact with you. Don’t use the Golden Rule as a manipulation; simply put yourself in their shoes and hear yourself, thinking before speaking.
Why is listening important?
Listening skills are as important, if not more so, than talking when you are trying to coax your silent spouse. If they sense that you just want them to talk as a set-up for you to take the floor and give them a piece of your mind, they will likely clam up. Learning effective listening is critical to communication. 4.
What is the two way street?
Communication is a two-way street that requires talking and listening. “Communication is a two-way street that requires talking and listening. ”. Communication is a two-way street that requires talking and listening. Listening skills are as important, if not more so, than talking when you are trying to coax your silent spouse.
Can a grudge be natural?
Grudges can be natural, even understandable in certain circumstances…but they are also devastating. Some people who are carrying a long-term grudge think that it doesn’t impact the rest of their life. But a grudge tends to leak out into other parts of life. You’ll need to work on letting it go.
Is complacency a destructive thing?
Complacency is so destructive in marriage. If you are feeling worn down by the loneliness and the silence, find friends and family who will encourage you and hold you up.
Is it hard to empathize with someone who is hurting you?
Empathy is hard to do, especially for someone who you feel is hurting you. If you want their sympathy for your loneliness more than you want to empathize with and understand their pain, you are probably encouraging the silent treatment.
What is the Silent Treatment?
Who of us isn’t guilty of giving someone a strong dose of the silent treatment? Feelings bruised from words spoken or actions taken, we retreat into our silent world, all the while hoping our actions make our mate pay for the harm they’ve done to us.
Why do people use the Silent Treatment?
Why do we continue to use ‘the silent treatment’ if it is so destructive? It gets back to basics—‘hurting people hurt people’—and research shows that ‘the silent treatment’ is particularly effective in causing damage. No one wants to be on the receiving end of this form of treatment, and we all know it.
Helpful Scripture
Scripture speaks clearly on this issue. The Apostle James instructs us: “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry” ( James 1:19 ).
Here are Five Steps to resolve "The Silent Treatment"
Just as we would confront the four-year-old who refuses to talk, we do the same for the adult in our lives. We must do this carefully, however as we don’t want to give the pouter extra clout. We should simply acknowledge that they have withdrawn and we want to give them an opportunity to talk it out effectively.
