Treatment FAQ

how to deal with silent treatment from your girlfriend

by Samantha Kling Published 2 years ago Updated 2 years ago
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  1. Take some time to cool off.
  2. Give your partner space to think.
  3. Don't apologize unless you're truly sorry.
  4. Apologize if you're truly sorry.
  5. Ask yourself whether it's just a personality difference.
  6. Set rules for healthy communication. Since the silent treatment is a way for your partner to gain control, you need to take care of yourself so their behavior doesn't ...

How to respond
  1. Name the situation. Acknowledge that someone is using the silent treatment. ...
  2. Use 'I' statements. ...
  3. Acknowledge the other person's feelings. ...
  4. Apologize for words or actions. ...
  5. Cool off and arrange a time to resolve the issue. ...
  6. Avoid unhelpful responses.
Jun 8, 2020

Full Answer

How to deal with the silent treatment from your partner?

Jun 05, 2018 · How to respond to the silent treatment with dignity. Step 1: Present your partner or spouse with the research. They need to know there’s good evidence that ignoring you is endangering the future of your ... Step 2: Write them a letter. …

How to respond to the Silent Treatment with dignity?

Apr 04, 2018 · Whether you are the person receiving or giving the silent treatment, there are actions you can take to start a conversation: 1. Name The Experience You can avoid the silent treatment by compassionately acknowledging what you’re feeling. Avoid... 2. Acknowledge The Other Person’s Feelings and Share ...

How do you start a conversation with someone who gives the silent treatment?

Apr 30, 2019 · How to Respond When Someone Gives You the Silent Treatment 1. Take a gentle approach: Make it about them. If this isn’t something the other person regularly does to you, a gentle... 2. Or, make it about you. Tell the person how the silent treatment hurts and leaves you feeling frustrated and alone. ...

What to do when your ex gives you the silent treatment?

May 25, 2015 · Quick tips for dealing with the silent treatment in relationships Remind yourself that the problem can’t be solved until your partner tells you what is wrong. It’s not up to you to fix... Don’t try to read your partner’s mind – it’s impossible! Don’t give the silent treatment back Let your partner ...

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Is silent treatment normal in a relationship?

There are times in relationships when being silent is acceptable and even productive. For instance, a couple, or even just one partner, may take a thoughtful timeout from a heated argument to cool off or gather their thoughts.Jun 1, 2020

What does silent treatment mean in a relationship?

The silent treatment, also known as stonewalling, is when one partner withdraws from a relationship and refuses to communicate. (Apr 29, 2019

How do you beat the silent treatment?

How to Respond to the Silent Treatment#1. Dig Deep Into the Whys of the Situation.#2. Use the Sandwich Method.#3. Listen and Not Just Talk.#4. Do Not Try To Win the Silent Treatment.#5. Let Go of Your Grudge.#6. Be Strong.#7. Remember: The Recipient Doesn't Always Need To Initiate.#8. Give Space and Time.More items...•Jul 18, 2019

Does silent treatment mean break up?

The silent treatment is a particularly toxic form of behavior that can lead to the breakdown of relationships. When a partner gives you the silent treatment, you might feel a crazy need to make him talk.

What kind of person gives silent treatment?

Why people use the silent treatment Avoidance: In some cases, people stay silent in a conversation because they do not know what to say or want to avoid conflict. Communication: A person may use the silent treatment if they do not know how to express their feelings but want their partner to know that they are upset.Jun 8, 2020

How do you break a silent relationship?

Backtrace your steps. Don't over assume. ... Make excuses for both parties. It'll be wrong to think you've done nothing wrong to deserve the unwarranted silence you're getting from your friend. ... Forgiveness. ... Understanding. ... Break the silence — talk softly.

How long does the silent treatment last?

If the perpetrator still refuses to acknowledge the victim's existence for long periods of time, it might be right to leave the relationship. In the end, whether it lasts four hours or four decades, the silent treatment says more about the person doing it than it does about the person receiving it.Mar 26, 2021

Does the silent treatment work on a man?

Paul Schrodt, Professor of Communication reviewed 74 relationship studies and the findings of his in-depth analysis revealed that silent treatment could be tremendously damaging to a relationship and it diminishes feelings of intimacy and reduces healthy interaction, says this article.Nov 27, 2021

Learn Why Your Partner Uses The Silent Treatment

Sometimes people can’t express their thoughts or feelings, so they clam up. Other times their emotions – anger, hurt, fear – are so strong that the...

Talk About The Silent Treatment With Your Partner

Of course you can’t deal with the silent treatment when your partner isn’t talking to you, but you can bring it up after the storm has passed. Tell...

accept Your Partner’S Unwillingness to Talk

I’m embarrassed to admit that I’m guilty of giving the silent treatment to my husband. It seemed like a good idea at the time – it seemed to be an...

Learn The Pattern of The Silent Treatment in Your Relationship

Sometimes people who give the silent treatment need their partners to make the first move. After you’ve given your partner time to cool down, maybe...

Quick Tips For Dealing With The Silent Treatment in Relationships

Remember that getting more talkative or vocal when you’re getting the silent treatment won’t help your relationship. Here are a few strategies for...

Learn How to Deal With Toxic Relationships

I list Lillian Glass’ book below because it’s incredibly important to learn how to deal with toxic relationships if your partner refuses to stop gi...

What is silent treatment?

Left unchecked, the silent treatment becomes a pattern of behavior and emotional abuse that is used to manipulate over time. Fear not! There are a few things you can do to deal with the silent treatment in a relationship. Let’s break it down.

Why is it important to acknowledge your partner's feelings?

Acknowledging your partner’s feelings not only validates their experience, it creates space for a larger conversation. Through larger conversations, you can lay the foundation for trust and signal that you’re interested in understanding their point of view while being honest about how the silent treatment makes you feel.

What is silent treatment?

The silent treatment can happen in romantic relationships or any type of relationship, including between parents and children, friends, and co-workers. It can be a fleeting reaction to a situation in which one person feels angry, frustrated, or too overwhelmed to deal with a problem.

Why do people go silent?

But some people use the silent treatment as a tool for exerting power over someone or creating emotional distance.

How to deal with emotional abuse?

Make it about you. Ignore it. Offer solutions. Stand up for yourself. What not to do. Signs of emotional abuse. Get help. Takeaway. If you’ve ever found yourself in a situation where you couldn’t get someone to talk to you, or even acknowledge you, you’ve experienced the silent treatment.

Is silent treatment a form of emotional abuse?

Recognizing other types of emotional abuse. The silent treatment doesn’t always relate to emotional abuse. Some people lack effective communication skills or need to retreat into themselves to work things out. To emotional abusers, though, the silent treatment is a weapon of control.

Is silent treatment a good way to communicate?

While it’s not always malicious, the silent treatment certainly isn’t a healthy way to communicate. If the silent treatment looms large in your life, there are steps you can take to improve your relationship or remove yourself from an abusive situation. Last medically reviewed on April 30, 2019.

Is silent treatment always meant to inflict wounds?

The silent treatment isn’t always meant to inflict wounds. Sometimes, it’s an isolated incident that gets out of hand. You can let it slide until they come around and move on.

Why is being ostracized important?

In early cultures, being ostracized meant almost certain death because people couldn’t live without the protection of a society. Today the silent treatment isn’t about physical life or death, but it can affect the longevity and health of your relationship.

What is silent treatment?

The silent treatment is part of what’s called a “demand-withdraw” pattern in a relationship. It happens when one partner pressures the other with requests, criticism or complaints and is met with avoidance or silence. Below are the results of a research study on the silent treatment in relationships, plus tips on dealing with it.

Is silent treatment bad for a relationship?

It’s actually very harmful to a relationship, even though it seems like “just” the silent treatment. One of the best tips for dealing with the silent treatment in relationships is to ignore it. Walk away and leave your partner alone during an actual episode of the silent treatment.

Why do I clam up when I'm in a relationship?

Sometimes people can’t express their thoughts or feelings, so they clam up. Other times their emotions – anger, hurt, fear – are so strong that they simply can’t talk. Sometimes people feel that they aren’t a match for their partner verbally, so they shut down. The silent treatment can be a way for your partner to protect him or herself. The silent treatment is a form of bullying, and it’s often used to get what is wanted in the relationship. This type of passive aggressive communication might be all your partner learned as a child – it may be how your partner controlled his or her world.

What does it mean when you are treated unfairly?

In relationships, as in the workplace, this means that if you’re treated unfairly, you’ll use the passive-aggressive state of silence in an effort to defend your sense of self in a way that is less risky than speaking out about the unfairness. You can’t get in trouble, so this reasoning goes, for what you don’t say.

What is social identity theory?

Their study is based on social identity theory, which proposes that “individuals are generally motivated to maintain or enhance perceptions of their self-worth.". In the workplace, social identity theory implies that you want to feel cared about by your employer.

How to respond to silent treatment?

Here are some ways to respond to the silent treatment. 1. Take Time to Cool Off. During a time of silence both partners should pause to reflect on what led up to the silent treatment episode, especially if it was preceded by an argument, fight, or emotional outburst.

How to deal with a silent spouse?

Give Your Partner Space to Think. Avoid trying to figure out what your silent partner or spouse is thinking. You're not a mind-reader. The silent treatment is a passive-aggressive form of communication. If you do their thinking for them, they won't learn how to be direct when sharing their thoughts and feelings.

How to control your partner?

Changing Your Approach to the Relationship 1 Remind yourself that your partner feels uncertain and out of control. 2 Do not resort to sulking, pouting, or badgering. Try to maintain a calm attitude if you can. Take a walk to get a breath of air. 3 Consider whether you too might be trying to control the relationship more than your partner is comfortable with.

Why do introverts need more time?

Introverts need more time to process their emotions, especially when things get intense or they feel that they've been attacked or insulted in some way. If this is the case for you, tell your partner that you'll give them a certain amount of time to themselves and that you'll be back after the time is up to talk.

What is silent treatment?

The silent treatment is when one person in a relationship ignores the other person, refusing to acknowledge them verbally or through any other method. This usually happens after an argument, but it can also happen when the silent partner is angry and the other person doesn't know why. Being on the receiving end is painful and frustrating.

Why do I need to take care of myself during silent treatment?

Since the silent treatment is a way for your partner to gain control, you need to take care of yourself so their behavior doesn't leave you feeling humiliated and rejected.

What does it mean when your partner is silent?

In some cases, the silent partner is attempting to escape another toxic dynamic. If you are trying to force them to change or do things your way, you're giving them a reason to withdraw. If you criticize them as a person or assigning blame instead of focusing on finding solutions, you're contributing to the dynamic. If you let yourself feel like a victim, get depressed, or pout, you must recognize that you've been engaging in control tactics, too, and pledge to stop.

How to deal with a girl who is silent?

Another thing that you can do on how to deal with a girl giving you the silent treatment is by say an apology to her. Say it, that you feel sorry about thing that you did to her. Say it, that you feel sorry knowing that she feels bad or sad for now.

Why is it important to give someone space?

When you give someone her personal space, she will be able to calm herself down without any disturbance from other people. She will heal better and knowing how to heal herself if something bad happen. There are some benefits of being alone for your physical and mental health.

What is silent treatment abuse?

It is silent treatment abuse designed to show that their partner is not worth their time and effort. It is no different than ignoring hater comments on social media. However, to your spouse, silent treatment in marriage is depressing and a deliberate attempt to cause psychological and emotional harm.

Can you respond to silent treatment in marriage?

Responding to silent treatment in marriage with your own version could collapse the relationship foundations. However, a temporary step off to allow your partner to cool down is usually the best solution. This is best if your partner is only using the silent treatment to cool off and not as a weapon against you.

What is the purpose of silent treatment?

It is a purposeful act to create a feeling of helplessness, paranoia, dependency, loss, and loneliness.

What is the marriage.com course?

If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.

Why the Silent Treatment Happens

In general, the silent treatment “is a way to try and inflict emotional pain on someone as a consequence of feelings of anger or frustration,” explains relationship therapist Megan Harrison, LMFT. “Through withholding approval, they are non-verbally expressing that your actions and words are unacceptable.”

Why the Silent Treatment Is So Harmful

The silent treatment is a harsh tactic. When you’re on the receiving end of the silent treatment, you may feel powerless, disrespected, invisible, frustrated, or angry — or you may cycle through all of these emotions.

How to Respond to the Silent Treatment: What to Say and How to Say It

The best thing to do when your loved one won’t communicate (and may be giving you the death stare) is to not escalate things, Harrison says. “Don’t take it personally. Be calm and patient. Do not respond in anger, don’t be patronizing or condescending, and don’t beg your partner to respond,” she advises.

How to End the Silent Treatment for Good

If the silent treatment is a fairly common reaction from your partner, address that during this initial conversation. “Talk about how you would prefer if they didn’t use this, with an emphasis on why it’s damaging, how you feel, and how it doesn’t help resolve the situation,” Gordon recommends.

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