Respond with calmness and speak kindly. If you’re getting the silent treatment in a relationship, you will have to confront your partner at some point, even if your partner resists. When that time comes, take a deep breath, clear your mind, and initiate a talk in a private, comfortable place.
Full Answer
Why do some people give the silent treatment to others?
Apr 04, 2018 · So how can you deal with the silent treatment? The answer is deceivingly simple. You’re going to have to use your words(I know, ugh). Whether you are the person receiving or giving the silent treatment, there are actions you can take to start a conversation: 1. Name The Experience. You can avoid the silent treatment by compassionately acknowledging what you’re …
How to respond to the Silent Treatment with dignity?
Jun 05, 2018 · When you’re wondering how to respond to the silent treatment, remind yourself that you are being mistreated yourself. Don’t plead with your partner. State clearly that you’re prepared to talk when they’re ready, and leave it at that. Don’t excuse their behaviour.
What happens when you use the silent treatment on your spouse?
Nov 18, 2014 · The silent treatment can be used as anabusive tactic that is the adult narcissist’s version of a child’s ”holding my breath until you give in and give me what I want.”
How to win the silent treatment?
6 Ways to Respond to the Silent Treatment 1. Take some time to cool off. 2. Give your partner space to think. 3. Don't apologize unless you're truly sorry. 4. Apologize if you're truly sorry. 5. Ask yourself whether it's just a personality difference. 6. Set rules for healthy communication. Changing Your Approach to the Relationship
What kind of person gives silent treatment?
Research. Researchers have found that the silent treatment is used by both men and women to terminate a partner's behaviors or words rather than to elicit them. 1 In abusive relationships, the silent treatment is used to manipulate the other person and to establish power over them.Jun 1, 2020
How do you deal with a manipulative silent treatment?
How to respondName the situation. Acknowledge that someone is using the silent treatment. ... Use 'I' statements. ... Acknowledge the other person's feelings. ... Apologize for words or actions. ... Cool off and arrange a time to resolve the issue. ... Avoid unhelpful responses.Jun 8, 2020
How do you outsmart the silent treatment?
You've changed your behavior to avoid getting the silent treatment.Take a gentle approach: Make it about them. ... Or, make it about you. ... Ignore it until it blows over. ... Offer solutions. ... Stand up for yourself.Apr 30, 2019
Why do adults give the silent treatment?
The silent treatment (also known as withholding) is used to punish and regain control of a person. It may feel good to ignore your partner when you feel slighted but, it keeps you from finding real solutions to the problems that are bugging you the most.
Is silence a form of emotional abuse?
The silent treatment is the refusal to engage in verbal communication with someone, often as a response to conflict in a relationship. Also referred to as giving the cold shoulder or stonewalling, its use is a passive-aggressive form of control and can, in many circumstances, be considered a form of emotional abuse.Feb 22, 2022
What happens when you give a narcissist the silent treatment?
Essentially, the narcissistic person's message is one of extreme disapproval to the degree that the silence renders the target so insignificant that he or she is ignored and becomes more or less nonexistent in the eyes of the narcissistic person.Jun 2, 2014
What drives a narcissist insane?
The thing that drives a narcissist crazy is the lack of control and the lack of a fight. The less you fight back, the less power you can give them over you, the better,” she says. And because they never think they're wrong, they never apologize. About anything.Jan 30, 2019
How can the silent treatment backfire?
If done in a friendly, gentle manner,these gestures sends the message that you aren't taking them so seriously and it gives them permission to back down and not take themselves so seriously. If your colleague or boss has no sense of humor, or is truly a narcissist, this will backfire, so be careful!Nov 18, 2014
Does silent treatment mean break up?
The silent treatment is a particularly toxic form of behavior that can lead to the breakdown of relationships. When a partner gives you the silent treatment, you might feel a crazy need to make him talk.
Is the silent treatment disrespectful?
"Many of us are prone to sulk or to pout, and that is an early form of giving somebody the silent treatment." Parrott, a psychology professor at Seattle Pacific University, says nothing good comes from the silent treatment because it's "manipulative, disrespectful and not productive."Aug 3, 2014
Is giving the silent treatment immature?
At best the silent treatment isan immature behavior used by spoiled brats and manipulativeindividuals. At worst, it is a weapon used by abusers to punish their victims.Jul 11, 2016
Is silent treatment manipulation?
The silent treatment, while sometimes seemingly harmless when talking about it, can be a highly damaging and effective form of manipulation, coercion, and control used by toxic people. It is common, even though many victims feel alone and like they cant talk about it because no one will believe them or understand.Mar 12, 2020
What is silent treatment?
Left unchecked, the silent treatment becomes a pattern of behavior and emotional abuse that is used to manipulate over time. Fear not! There are a few things you can do to deal with the silent treatment in a relationship. Let’s break it down.
Why is it important to acknowledge your partner's feelings?
Acknowledging your partner’s feelings not only validates their experience, it creates space for a larger conversation. Through larger conversations, you can lay the foundation for trust and signal that you’re interested in understanding their point of view while being honest about how the silent treatment makes you feel.
What does it mean when your partner stops talking to you?
If your partner seems to have stopped talking to you out of the blue or after a fight, clearly the two of you are having a conflict – even if you weren’t aware that you’d done something ‘wrong’.
Is the silent treatment good?
No, the silent treatment is seldom a good idea. When you’re using the silent treatment, you’re attempting to manipulate and control your partner or spouse. I can understand your resorting to not responding to your partner or spouse if they continue to batter your ears over something you really don’t want to talk about.
Can you change your partner?
you are not your partner’s therapist. you cannot change your partner, and neither should you change yourself to fit in with their demands beyond reasonable compromises.
What is silent treatment?
The silent treatment is an abusive method of control, punishment, avoidance, or disempowerment (some times these four typesoverlap, sometimes not) that is a favorite tactic of narcissists, and especially thosewho have a hard time with impulse control, that is, those with more infantile tendencies. The silent treatment can be used as anabusive tactic ...
Does Psych Central review?
Psych Central does not review the content that appears in our blog network (blogs.psychcentral.com) prior to publication. All opinions expressed herein are exclusively those of the author alone, and do not reflect the views of the editorial staff or management of Psych Central. Published on PsychCentral.com.
Can I go to therapy with my spouse?
Getting your spouseto go to therapy with you may not always be possible, but if the relationships is important to them and you feel that their behavior is irreparably damaging it, you might be in a position to strongly encourage even demand it of them. If not, go to therapy on your own so you can learn how to handle their behavior in a way ...
How to respond to silent treatment?
Here are some ways to respond to the silent treatment. 1. Take Time to Cool Off. During a time of silence both partners should pause to reflect on what led up to the silent treatment episode, especially if it was preceded by an argument, fight, or emotional outburst.
What is silent treatment?
The silent treatment is when one person in a relationship ignores the other person, refusing to acknowledge them verbally or through any other method. This usually happens after an argument, but it can also happen when the silent partner is angry and the other person doesn't know why. Being on the receiving end is painful and frustrating.
How to control your partner?
Changing Your Approach to the Relationship 1 Remind yourself that your partner feels uncertain and out of control. 2 Do not resort to sulking, pouting, or badgering. Try to maintain a calm attitude if you can. Take a walk to get a breath of air. 3 Consider whether you too might be trying to control the relationship more than your partner is comfortable with.
Why do introverts need more time?
Introverts need more time to process their emotions, especially when things get intense or they feel that they've been attacked or insulted in some way. If this is the case for you, tell your partner that you'll give them a certain amount of time to themselves and that you'll be back after the time is up to talk.
How to deal with a silent spouse?
Give Your Partner Space to Think. Avoid trying to figure out what your silent partner or spouse is thinking. You're not a mind-reader. The silent treatment is a passive-aggressive form of communication. If you do their thinking for them, they won't learn how to be direct when sharing their thoughts and feelings.
What does it mean when your partner is silent?
In some cases, the silent partner is attempting to escape another toxic dynamic. If you are trying to force them to change or do things your way, you're giving them a reason to withdraw. If you criticize them as a person or assigning blame instead of focusing on finding solutions, you're contributing to the dynamic. If you let yourself feel like a victim, get depressed, or pout, you must recognize that you've been engaging in control tactics, too, and pledge to stop.
What does it mean when a man says he's busy but he acts disinterested?
In other words, "He says he's busy, but he acts disinterested" means he's probably disinterested. This is especially true if you called his attention to it and he hasn't tried to improve things and hasn't taken your complaint seriously.
What is the Silent Treatment?
Who of us isn’t guilty of giving someone a strong dose of the silent treatment? Feelings bruised from words spoken or actions taken, we retreat into our silent world, all the while hoping our actions make our mate pay for the harm they’ve done to us.
Why do people use the Silent Treatment?
Why do we continue to use ‘the silent treatment’ if it is so destructive? It gets back to basics—‘hurting people hurt people’—and research shows that ‘the silent treatment’ is particularly effective in causing damage. No one wants to be on the receiving end of this form of treatment, and we all know it.
Helpful Scripture
Scripture speaks clearly on this issue. The Apostle James instructs us: “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry” ( James 1:19 ).
Here are Five Steps to resolve "The Silent Treatment"
Just as we would confront the four-year-old who refuses to talk, we do the same for the adult in our lives. We must do this carefully, however as we don’t want to give the pouter extra clout. We should simply acknowledge that they have withdrawn and we want to give them an opportunity to talk it out effectively.
What is silent treatment?
The silent treatment is a form of emotional abuse typically employed by people with narcissistic tendencies. It is designed to (1) place the abuser in a position of control; (2) silence the target’s attempts at assertion; (3) avoid conflict resolution/personal responsibility/compromise; or (4) punish the target for a perceived ego slight.
How to get rid of silent abuse?
Mystery. That could be the answer to your questions. I’m not sure the abuser has a good reason to use the silent treatment. Get to know yourself. Have a healthy self esteem. Continue to have love and compassion. Don’t let people change you.
What to say when someone is not with you?
No can be trusted with out a reason. Words are weapons use them wisely. Think three times before you speak. Say something in your head. Then speak it. Always make it sound good. ‘ My father died’ or ” my dad passed away.” Body functions are always a bad topic . And remember your time is important don’t waste it on deaf ears.
How to love a boy who loves himself?
Every woman deserves to be pursued. It is not for you to fix him. Instead pray for him. Your boy loves himself so much and is blatantly inconsiderate of you. He’s probably moved on, but keeping the door to you open just in case he fails at his other prospects. It’s time for you to love you. Let go and let God. You seem like a loving woman, ive been where you are. Moving on is hard but the wounds heal and your vision gets clearer. Trust me, it gets better.
What is the worst thing about narcissists?
Worst thing about Narcissists is their incredible double standards and hypocrisy yet we keep on giving them the benefit of the doubt because our feelings are begging for forgiveness when all the time they are just taking advantage of our better nature.
How long does silent treatment last?
Silent treatment is a form o f abuse. Being married to my husband for 8 years now and every 4 or 6 months he engages in one. That will last for almost 2 months. Yes I said 2 months.
What to say to a breakup friend?
Carrie,#N#I deeply appreciate your kind, encouraging words. Every bit of kindness helps exponentially, so thank you a million times. You are right, of course. I know it gets better. I’ve had breakups in the past, but they were mutual good-byes, see you laters, take good cares, I wish you the best, etc…..there was communication!
Why do people give silent treatment?
Look for the reasons behind the silent treatment. People who give the silent treatment aren’t always doing it out of malice. They may have trouble expressing themselves, especially when it comes to negative emotions like anger and grief.
What is silent treatment?
The silent treatment is a passive-aggressive tactic people use in relationships when they want to punish or wound you. Either they can’t or won’t communicate their feelings maturely, so they clam up and leaving wondering what’s going on.
How to be a mature person?
6. Take care of yourself. 1 Stop beating yourself up. 2 Stop berating yourself for not being a mind reader. 3 Stop thinking it’s your responsibility to help an immature person mature.
Why do people use silence?
Silence may be golden sometimes, but it can also be a weapon. People use it to punish, control, manipulate, disempower, or run away from a person or problem. People who use silent treatment to manipulate often have the following characteristics: They never learned to express themselves assertively or maturely.
How to deal with toxic personality?
If you are met with defensiveness or a lack of empathy, you’ll know you are dealing with a toxic personality. 2. Share the psychology behind silent treatment. During a calm period after your partner has punished you with silence, give him or her some information about silent treatment abuse.
How to deal with silence in a relationship?
Calmly make it clear to him/her that you won’t allow silence to be used as punishment against you. 4. Respond with calmness and speak kindly. If you’re getting the silent treatment in a relationship, you will have to confront your partner at some point, even if your partner resists.
Can silent treatment make you angry?
Putting up with silent treatment can take its toll on you. You may become angry, depressed, and anxious because of how you’re being treated. In that case, seek professional help. If possible, ask the person giving you the silent treatment to go into therapy with you.
What is silent treatment?
Psychologists consider the narcissistic silent treatment a form of abuse. It’s a popular form of mental torture used by narcissistic individuals, whereby they cut their victims off by not talking to them for extended periods of time.
Why do narcissists use silent treatment?
Narcissists use the silent treatment as a tool for exerting power over someone or creating emotional distance.
What do narcissists do?
What narcissists typically engage in is an insidious psychological technique called “gaslighting.”. On a very simple level, it goes like this: The narcissist does something selfish, and you confront them about it. The narcissist then twists this event around to make it sound like you were the selfish one.
Do narcissists care about you?
But just try to drill this into your head: Narcissists really don’t care. This is especially true when they use silent treatment to punish you. They don’t have the same feelings of longing and remorse as you do after spending time apart. And they certainly don’t feel guilty about it.
Do narcissists look good?
Narcissists are experts at reframing reality in a way that makes them look good and you look bad. While it can be infuriating and confusing, don’t fall for it. Stick to your guns. The silent treatment is never a healthy or functional way of dealing with problems in your relationship.
Can ghosts have their cake?
Although you may feel an overpowering urge to leave the lines of communication open for them despite their ghosting you, it’s best to ensure they can’t have their cake and eat it, too.
Can you smell victory?
You can almost smell victory. And among the thousands of articles out there, all promising you instant results and an immediately healed life, one has caught your fancy. Just ignore the narcissist, they say. But there’s a problem. You’ve heard a lot of good things about ignoring a narcissist.
Why do people use the silent treatment?
People who use the silent treatment to win arguments and gain control need to understand the magnitude of their immature behavior. Confrontation lets them know that you see what they are doing and you understand the tactics they use. After telling them the truth, you can laugh about it.
How to win silent treatment?
1. Shrugging it off. One way to understand how to win the silent treatment is to brush it off or ignore it. If you aren’t necessarily in a close relationship with the person who is giving you the silent treatment, you may be able to just move on and act like nothing happened.
What to do if you are silent?
If you are experiencing the silent treatment from someone you love, then therapy may be the only answer. This only works if your partner is willing to go to therapy in order to move forward. Unfortunately, so many people like using the silent treatment and don’t want a therapist taking that weapon away.
What is a narcissist?
The narcissist. The narcissist is a troubled and sad individual. Among their weapons of choice, like their other manipulation techniques, they also utilize the silent treatment. The narcissist, since they are void of all original inner substance, will use the silent treatment to further establish who they are.
What does it mean when someone ignores others?
People who haven’t been taught to care effectively for others in a household will use the silent treatment on a regular basis. Selfish people care for themselves over others and when something doesn’t go their way, they ignore others to make a statement.
Who is Sherrie Hurd?
Sherrie Hurd is a professional writer and artist with over 20 years of experience. As a survivor of childhood trauma and multiple types of abuse, she is an advocate for mental health awareness. Sherrie manages multiple mental illnesses, including anxiety disorder, bipolar disorder, and PTSD. With this background and personal experience, she strives to help others overcome trauma and abuse, cope with mental illness, and heal over time.