Treatment FAQ

how to deal with a girl giving you the silent treatment

by Prof. Rollin Hintz Published 2 years ago Updated 2 years ago
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  1. Take a gentle approach: Make it about them. If this isn’t something the other person regularly does to you, a gentle approach might be a good way to get ...
  2. Or, make it about you. Tell the person how the silent treatment hurts and leaves you feeling frustrated and alone. ...
  3. Ignore it until it blows over. The silent treatment isn’t always meant to inflict wounds. Sometimes, it’s an isolated incident that gets out of hand.
  4. Offer solutions. Suggest a face-to-face meeting to hammer out some rules for better communication in the future. ...
  5. Stand up for yourself. When things escalate to emotional abuse, you’re not in a healthy relationship. It’s time to put yourself first.

How to respond
  1. Name the situation. Acknowledge that someone is using the silent treatment. ...
  2. Use 'I' statements. ...
  3. Acknowledge the other person's feelings. ...
  4. Apologize for words or actions. ...
  5. Cool off and arrange a time to resolve the issue. ...
  6. Avoid unhelpful responses.
Jun 8, 2020

Full Answer

How do you beat the silent treatment?

How to Respond to the Silent Treatment#1. Dig Deep Into the Whys of the Situation. ... #2. Use the Sandwich Method. ... #3. Listen and Not Just Talk. ... #4. Do Not Try To Win the Silent Treatment. ... #5. Let Go of Your Grudge. ... #6. Be Strong. ... #7. Remember: The Recipient Doesn't Always Need To Initiate. ... #13. Think About Professional Therapy.

Does silent treatment mean break up?

The silent treatment is a particularly toxic form of behavior that can lead to the breakdown of relationships. When a partner gives you the silent treatment, you might feel a crazy need to make him talk.

How long should the silent treatment last?

Ideally no more than 1 hour, hopefully less. Say “I will be back in *** (time) to continue the discussion” even if you can only manage to come back to agree to close it down for the time being, or take the matter to counselling.

Can the silent treatment end a relationship?

Findings from his in-depth analysis revealed that the silent treatment is 'tremendously' damaging to a relationship. It decreases relationship satisfaction for both partners, diminishes feelings of intimacy, and reduces the capacity to communicate in a way that's healthy and meaningful.

Does silence mean the relationship is over?

Silence in a relationship is often perceived as a red flag, but it isn't necessarily a bad thing. It happens. Just because you are with your partner doesn't mean you need to be talking 24/7. Sometimes, one or both partners are busy or tired or just don't feel like talking, and that's completely OK.

What kind of person gives silent treatment?

At best the silent treatment isan immature behavior used by spoiled brats and manipulativeindividuals. At worst, it is a weapon used by abusers to punish their victims. One demographic of the population that particularly loves the silent treatment is the narcissist.

What silence does to a man?

Silence can be a very powerful way to “be” with another person, especially when they are troubled. It can communicate acceptance of the other person as they are as of a given moment, and particularly when they have strong feelings like sorrow, fear or anger.

Is the silent treatment manipulation?

The silent treatment is widely regarded as a form of emotional manipulation and even psychological abuse. It is the act of ceasing to initiate or respond to communication with someone else or refusing to acknowledge them altogether.

How to deal with a girl who is silent?

Another thing that you can do on how to deal with a girl giving you the silent treatment is by say an apology to her. Say it, that you feel sorry about thing that you did to her. Say it, that you feel sorry knowing that she feels bad or sad for now.

Why do people keep silent all day?

Even when someone is choosing to keep silent all day long, it is because there were something that made him or her choose to be that way. However, someone who can't really deal with his or her emotion until other people can see it clearly, surely that person has a problem. There are some similarity on how to deal with a girl who is mad at you ...

How to avoid silent treatment?

1. Improve your communication skills. Better communication skills can help avoid a repeat of the silent treatment if it turns out that a miscommunication caused it in the first place. There are a few simple things you can do to improve your communication skills.

Why do people use silent treatment?

Most people who use the silent treatment on a regular basis do it to get a reaction. If you sound overly hurt or sad, or even desperate to get their friendship back, it gives them incentive to keep using the silent treatment. Instead, do your best to sound calm and in control.

How to confront someone who is silent?

If someone is giving you the silent treatment, you can confront them by having a calm and honest conversation. Ask them to speak in a private place, like a park bench or quiet coffee shop, so you won't get distracted. As you talk, tell them you value your relationship and express how their silence makes you feel.

What does it mean when someone refuses to talk to you?

If they refuse to meet or talk with you, that's a pretty good indication that they're using the silent treatment to manipulate or control you. It's okay at that point to tell them you understand they don't want to talk, and that you'll be walking away from the relationship.

What to do if you are in a manipulative relationship?

If you are in a manipulative, controlling, or abusive relationship, you might want to see a therapist to discuss the relationship and your place in it. It can also help to share your concerns about your relationship with a trusted friend or family member, who can support you during a difficult time.

How to talk to someone in public?

1. Ask to speak in private. If you talk to them in a public place, it's easier for them to change the subject or for the two of you to get interrupted. Instead, ask if you can talk to them somewhere private – maybe an out-of-the-way bench in a park or even a quiet corner of a coffee shop.

What to do if you notice a personality change?

If you notice a really severe personality change and other mutual friends do, too, talk to the person immediately. They could be in a position where they really need help. Keep in mind that they might not even be aware they're giving you the silent treatment.

How to get rid of the silent treatment?

2. Take a break. Familiarise yourself with a time-out (opens in a new tab). It’s a really useful strategy when you’re feeling too overwhelmed to think straight.

What does it mean when your partner stops talking to you?

If your partner seems to have stopped talking to you out of the blue or after a fight, clearly the two of you are having a conflict – even if you weren’t aware that you’d done something ‘wrong’.

Is the silent treatment good?

No, the silent treatment is seldom a good idea. When you’re using the silent treatment, you’re attempting to manipulate and control your partner or spouse. I can understand your resorting to not responding to your partner or spouse if they continue to batter your ears over something you really don’t want to talk about.

Can you change your partner's therapy?

you are not your partner’s therapist. you cannot change your partner, and neither should you change yourself to fit in with their demands beyond reasonable compromises. ‘giving back’ the silent treatment will result in a competition detrimental to the survival of your relationship.

Is silent treatment a sign of a toxic relationship?

At worst, it can be a sign of a toxic relationship. At best, it’s an unhealthy attempt to make upset and displeasure clear and to provoke guilt and atonement. The above steps will help you to handle the silent treatment with dignity.

Is it safe to ignore your spouse?

Keep in mind…. there are no benefits of the silent treatment, though your spouse or partner may feel safer having built a wall of silence around them. you have the right to feel safe in your relationship – physically and emotionally – when your spouse ignores you, it’s hard to feel safe.

What does silent treatment mean?

Using the silent treatment to manipulate you will be the most common use. Your girlfriend / wife will use this when you two disagree on something in order to get her way. She could want a bigger house, a nicer car, want you to make a career change, or want something else of significance.

What to say when she realizes what she's doing?

If she realizes what she’s doing, is sorry, and makes a change then you’re good to go. But more than likely she won’t like what you’re saying, and she might even argue with you if she engages at all. That’s fine. Because that’s part of the game plan.

What does it mean when a woman is unhappy?

If a woman is unhappy in general, then she’s probably going to talk to you less and have a bad attitude. This silent treatment won’t be as direct as the others. Meaning it’s not like she’ll never say anything. But she won’t say much to you, doesn’t seem excited about much, and is overall having a bad time in life.

How to respond to silent treatment?

Here are some ways to respond to the silent treatment. 1. Take Time to Cool Off. During a time of silence both partners should pause to reflect on what led up to the silent treatment episode, especially if it was preceded by an argument, fight, or emotional outburst.

How to deal with a silent spouse?

Give Your Partner Space to Think. Avoid trying to figure out what your silent partner or spouse is thinking. You're not a mind-reader. The silent treatment is a passive-aggressive form of communication. If you do their thinking for them, they won't learn how to be direct when sharing their thoughts and feelings.

What is a good morning jellygator?

Good Morning jellygator so nice meeting you, just enjoyed your fascinating, detailed hub, you covered so many interesting situations about the heartaches of relationships. As well as ideas and possible solutions, relationships are something not always easy. An excellent hub for all those couples searching for answers. Happy to be following you. Linda

What does it mean when a man says he's busy but he acts disinterested?

In other words, "He says he's busy, but he acts disinterested" means he's probably disinterested. This is especially true if you called his attention to it and he hasn't tried to improve things and hasn't taken your complaint seriously.

What does it mean when your partner is silent?

In some cases, the silent partner is attempting to escape another toxic dynamic. If you are trying to force them to change or do things your way, you're giving them a reason to withdraw. If you criticize them as a person or assigning blame instead of focusing on finding solutions, you're contributing to the dynamic. If you let yourself feel like a victim, get depressed, or pout, you must recognize that you've been engaging in control tactics, too, and pledge to stop.

What is silent treatment?

The silent treatment is when one person in a relationship ignores the other person, refusing to acknowledge them verbally or through any other method. This usually happens after an argument, but it can also happen when the silent partner is angry and the other person doesn't know why. Being on the receiving end is painful and frustrating.

Why do introverts need more time?

Introverts need more time to process their emotions, especially when things get intense or they feel that they've been attacked or insulted in some way. If this is the case for you, tell your partner that you'll give them a certain amount of time to themselves and that you'll be back after the time is up to talk.

What to do if your partner gives you the silent treatment?

To sum up, if your partner gives you the silent treatment more than you feel is reasonable, look inward at how much support you provide for your partner’s self-worth. Both you and your partner need to feel this deep sense of value to have a fulfilling relationship that lasts over time.

What does it mean when you are treated unfairly?

In relationships, as in the workplace, this means that if you’re treated unfairly, you’ll use the passive-aggressive state of silence in an effort to defend your sense of self in a way that is less risky than speaking out about the unfairness. You can’t get in trouble, so this reasoning goes, for what you don’t say.

Is silence better than conversation?

Silence can sometimes be better than conversation, especially if you and your partner need to take a break from an argument and just cool off. When one partner refuses to speak, however, the silence can seem unbearable, especially if it continues. In the dirty dishes scenario, it would seem like your partner is resorting to silence as a way ...

What to do if you are silent?

If you are experiencing the silent treatment from someone you love, then therapy may be the only answer. This only works if your partner is willing to go to therapy in order to move forward. Unfortunately, so many people like using the silent treatment and don’t want a therapist taking that weapon away.

Why do people use the silent treatment?

People who use the silent treatment to win arguments and gain control need to understand the magnitude of their immature behavior. Confrontation lets them know that you see what they are doing and you understand the tactics they use. After telling them the truth, you can laugh about it.

What is selfish treatment?

The selfish. People who haven’t been taught to care effectively for others in a household will use the silent treatment on a regular basis. Selfish people care for themselves over others and when something doesn’t go their way, they ignore others to make a statement.

How to win silent treatment?

1. Shrugging it off. One way to understand how to win the silent treatment is to brush it off or ignore it. If you aren’t necessarily in a close relationship with the person who is giving you the silent treatment, you may be able to just move on and act like nothing happened.

What happens when you are stuck in victim mentality?

So, when they are confronted with something they are doing wrong, they will grow silent and attempt to force their way.

Why is silent treatment considered abuse?

This is obviously another reason why the silent treatment is abuse: they want you to hurt, and they want you to show it to them. This, in turn, makes them feel happy. It makes them feel like they’re the most important person in the world and they ‘own’ you and your mind. Whatever you do, do not show them that their silent treatment is effecting you.

How do narcissists feel?

You see, to a narcissistic person, they feel good knowing they are getting to you. It is their main goal, and if you let them know it’s bothering you, they feel like they have won. In their controlling and manipulative head, they are the bigger and better person and they can mess with you any way they please.

Why do I not beg?

Aside from looking like a weak worm begging for a response, another reason to completely avoid begging is because the narcissistic individual giving the silent treatment actually likes it .

Is it sick to beg a narcissist?

Yes, it’s sick to think about, but when you beg to a narcissistic person, it makes them feel even better about themselves and may actually prolong the length of time in which they give you the silent treatment.

Is silent treatment abuse harsh?

You might be thinking that calling the silent treatment abuse is somewhat harsh. After all, there is a vast majority of individuals who only consider bodily harm as abuse. And this is somewhat true- bodily harm and injury is a form of abuse known as physical abuse, but there are two other types of abuse that are just as horrible, ...

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