Treatment FAQ

how long to wait silent treatment

by Josh Hagenes Published 2 years ago Updated 2 years ago
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When the narcissist believes that the other person no longer wants to address a specific issue, or has been punished enough for a perceived slight committed against the narcissist, the silent treatment will end. This can be hours, days, months, or even decades. There is no predetermined timeline by the narcissist.

Full Answer

How long can the silent treatment last?

Silent treatment can be tormenting as long as it lasts. And it can last very long unless you put your foot down and decide to end it. How Long Can The Silent Treatment Last? How long a person can stonewall you depends on the person and the reason or the situation that led to such a consequence. It could be for days, weeks, or even months together.

How do you deal with the silent treatment?

It’s a frequent occurrence and is lasting for longer periods. It’s coming from a place of punishment, not a need to cool off or regroup. It only ends when you apologize, plead, or give in to demands. You’ve changed your behavior to avoid getting the silent treatment. 1. Take a gentle approach: Make it about them

When do you need the silent treatment from an ex?

The only other time the silent treatment might be needed is if you’re dealing with an abusive ex. You may need to stop responding entirely, setting clear boundaries, particularly, for example, when you’re dealing with a narcissistic person. Will giving someone the silent treatment work?

What happens when you give your child the silent treatment?

The silent treatment might also cause a child to become wary of anyone who claims to love them… because being ignored doesn’t exactly feel very loving! So, as an adult, they may have a hard time getting close to anyone because it can feel too risky.

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How long should stonewalling last?

This break should last at least twenty minutes since it will take that much time for your bodies to physiologically calm down.

Does giving someone the silent treatment work?

In most cases, using the silent treatment is not a productive way to deal with a disagreement. Research indicates that both men and women use the silent treatment in relationships. However, clear and direct communication is essential for healthy relationships.

How damaging the silent treatment is?

Findings from his in-depth analysis revealed that the silent treatment is 'tremendously' damaging to a relationship. It decreases relationship satisfaction for both partners, diminishes feelings of intimacy, and reduces the capacity to communicate in a way that's healthy and meaningful.

What type of person gives the silent treatment?

The silent treatment can happen in romantic relationships or any type of relationship, including between parents and children, friends, and co-workers. It can be a fleeting reaction to a situation in which one person feels angry, frustrated, or too overwhelmed to deal with a problem.

Why is silence the best revenge?

Silence speaks volumes Believe it, the silence and zero reaction really bothers your ex, and they consider it as the best served revenge. Nothing creates more curiosity than silence. Your ex would expect a vent or an angry rant from you, but don't give in. If you do, you are meeting their expectations.

Does silent treatment mean break up?

The silent treatment is a particularly toxic form of behavior that can lead to the breakdown of relationships. When a partner gives you the silent treatment, you might feel a crazy need to make him talk.

How do you respond to being ignored?

How Do You Respond To Being Ignored?Take a step back. Your partner may simply need some space to collect their thoughts and deal with their own emotions. ... Distract yourself. ... Check if they are actually ignoring you. ... Try not to overreact. ... Communicate.

What silence does to the dumper?

It sends a clear message that you won't allow the breakup to take hold of your life, giving you a chance to find perspective and heal. Lastly, whether you want to get back with your ex or not, the power of silence is guaranteed to make them miss you!

How long does silent treatment last?

In some cases it only lasts a few minutes. In others it can last days, weeks and even years. In those cases the silent treatment becomes emotional abuse. Being given the silent treatment can be deeply hurtful and can do a lot of damage to a relationship.

Why is silent treatment so hard?

Once you realize what it’s purpose is, it will often last longer, because it usually up to the victim/empath to do what is necessary to do what the person wants. They are trying to teach you a lesson.

What is stonewalling in psychology?

Stonewalling is common among individuals with personality disorders (particularly covert narcissism/NPD and BPD), as well as those with dysfunctional attachment patterns. Assuming it’s the latter, which is more commonplace, the silent treatment triggers a push/pull or demand/withdraw pattern that’s almost impossible to interrupt.

Is silent treatment the same as no contact?

The “silent treatment” and no contact are not the same. No Contact is for you to heal and to rid yourself of someone who isn't mentally stable if they are giving you the silent treatment. I've been a victim of this too many times to count and for every. Continue Reading. It lasts as long as you allow it.

Is silent treatment a mental drain?

Conversely, the silent treatment is mental punishment, and anyone who employs it should be considered manipulative, and undeserving of your attention. It is a mental drain no one should have to deal with.

Is silent treatment helpful?

The silent treatment is never helpful to a relationship. Everybody has their bad days and deserves to be in a mood once in a while but if they can't get over it there is a problem that is unlikely to get favorably resolved. Sponsored by Grammarly. Fast.

How to get rid of the silent treatment?

2. Take a break. Familiarise yourself with a time-out (opens in a new tab). It’s a really useful strategy when you’re feeling too overwhelmed to think straight.

What does it mean when your partner stops talking to you?

If your partner seems to have stopped talking to you out of the blue or after a fight, clearly the two of you are having a conflict – even if you weren’t aware that you’d done something ‘wrong’.

Is the silent treatment good?

No, the silent treatment is seldom a good idea. When you’re using the silent treatment, you’re attempting to manipulate and control your partner or spouse. I can understand your resorting to not responding to your partner or spouse if they continue to batter your ears over something you really don’t want to talk about.

Can you change your partner's therapy?

you are not your partner’s therapist. you cannot change your partner, and neither should you change yourself to fit in with their demands beyond reasonable compromises. ‘giving back’ the silent treatment will result in a competition detrimental to the survival of your relationship.

Is silent treatment a sign of a toxic relationship?

At worst, it can be a sign of a toxic relationship. At best, it’s an unhealthy attempt to make upset and displeasure clear and to provoke guilt and atonement. The above steps will help you to handle the silent treatment with dignity.

Is it safe to ignore your spouse?

Keep in mind…. there are no benefits of the silent treatment, though your spouse or partner may feel safer having built a wall of silence around them. you have the right to feel safe in your relationship – physically and emotionally – when your spouse ignores you, it’s hard to feel safe.

What is silent treatment?

Silent treatment is when a person refuses to communicate with their partner. This form of passive-aggressive communication is also known as giving a cold shoulder. It is ineffective, harmful and is an emotionally abusive way to avoid, punish, or control the partner. Subscribe.

What to do if your partner is silent?

If this is just the first time that your partner is giving you a silent treatment, be calm and kind instead of reacting negatively. But if giving the silent treatment has become a habit for your partner, then you should refuse to become the victim. Call them out on it instead of taking it quietly.

How long can a person stonewall you?

It could be for days, weeks, or even months together. But the longer it continues, the fewer might be the chances of making everything right in a relationship.

Why do people become silent?

A person could become silent to seek attention, trouble their partner, manipulate to gain control over the partner, or any other reason. Meanwhile, the partner struggles through the vicious circle of depression, guilt, and other negative emotions. Some of the examples of giving silent treatment in a relationship are explained below.

What to do if your partner is not able to share your concerns with you?

If your partner is not able to share their concerns with you, they might be able to talk about it to the professionals.

What to do when your partner doesn't behave?

If your partner does not usually behave like that, try to stay calm, use a gentle tone, empathize, and then talk with them to find a solution for whatever is bothering them. And if you think it’s your fault, then apologize, and assure your partner that it won’t happen again.

Is silent treatment bad for a relationship?

Communication plays an effective role in every relationship, and silent treatment is one of the negative forms of communication that can harm the relationship. Whether you are giving the silent treatment or are at the receiving end of it, it is unhealthy. Stonewalling can be harmful to the relationship if it goes on for long.

What happens when you give someone silent treatment?

When you give someone the silent treatment you are in a sense emotionally punishing them and ultimately scaring them. In fact research shows that the brain deals with pain from silent treatment in the same place as physical abuse. Grasp that.

Why do people give silent treatment?

From "http://elyntromey.com/therapyblog": There are all sorts of motives for and styles of the silent treatment, but they all boil down to one commonality: people give the silent treatment because it gives them a feeling of control over the person they are treating with silence.

Why is silent treatment so hard?

Once you realize what it’s purpose is, it will often last longer, because it usually up to the victim/empath to do what is necessary to do what the person wants. They are trying to teach you a lesson.

Is silent treatment the worst punishment?

Answered 4 years ago. Silent treatment is one of the worst punishments in the world and it works very well. But, you ought to understand, that its going to hurt the other person in some way.Hence, its not ideal, if its for someone you plan to be in a relationship beyond that. Now, you have to decide for yourself.

What is the first 24 hours of a relationship?

The first 24 hours (or less) is about gaining perspective, thinking about the situation, sleeping on it (if you can), calming down, etc. After 24 hours, it's a form of punishment. I'm an adult, not a child. A partner in a healthy relationship does not have the right to "punish" me.

Is it the silent treatment or the cool down?

Cooling down is not the same thing as the silent treatment. You stop a fight to cool down because you're smart enough to know nothing productive is currently happening and things are just getting worse and you don't want that to happen, so instead you cool off in hopes that you can have a more successful attempt at the conversation later. The silent treatment is something grade school age kids do to punish each other.

Why is silent treatment called the weapon of choice?

Generally, it’s called on as the weapon of choice because it’s powerful and it’s easy to get away with.

Is silence a dignified response?

Silence can feel like a dignified, high road response but it’s not. It’s a way to inflict pain but without the physical marks. Being noticed is so close to being loved, that sometimes they feel the same. Being ignored is just as powerful.

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