Treatment FAQ

how do narcissist feel when he is giving you the silent treatment and you ignore it

by Dr. Haven Rodriguez Published 2 years ago Updated 2 years ago
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As narcissists can’t tolerate being ignored, the act of silent treatment strikes the narcissist much harder than the normal people. As you start with the silent treatment, you can see the narcissist’s immediate responses kick-in. He may act arrogant, angry, and even show his attitude towards you.

Full Answer

What happens when you give a narcissist the silent treatment?

When you start to give the silent treatment to the narcissist, the narcissist immediately finds it offending and hurting. As narcissists can’t tolerate being ignored, the act of silent treatment strikes the narcissist much harder than the normal people.

Why do narcissists give you the silent treatment?

The silent treatment of a narcissist is almost like a self defense mechanism. When they are threatened, according to their psyche, to a compromise or a situation that they don’t want to be in, they will play their cards and want the other person to retrace their steps. The silent treatment is pretty similar to a bad breakup.

What happens when you start ignoring a narcissist?

What Happens When A Narcissist Is Ignored? 10 Effects Of Ignoring A Narcissist 1. He’ll pursue you harder The thing about narcissists is that they can’t bear the thought of losing and that is why... 2. He will be mad because of his fragile ego The ego of a narcissist seems large, but it’s only ...

How to shut down the narcissist during the silent treatment?

Shut down the narcissist’s silent treatment by getting some perspective.

  • Take some breaths and look at the situation from a bit of a distance.
  • See that this is THEIR pattern and a way for the narcissist to never have to take accountability or resolve any issue in the relationship.
  • Your need for connection, resolve and care will not be met by engaging with the silent treatment.

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Does ignoring a narcissist bother them?

If you ignore a narcissist and deny them their source, they may become enraged and try even harder for your attention – especially in ways that can be toxic or abusive. Ignoring a narcissist will enrage them because of their fragile egos. They'll feel humiliated and lash out against you to protect themselves.

What happens when you ignore the silent treatment?

According to a 2012 study, people who regularly feel ignored also report lower levels of self-esteem, belonging, and meaning in their lives. Because of this, the silent treatment can have an impact on the health of a relationship, even if the person who is silent is trying to avoid conflict.

What happens when you show the narcissist silent treatment?

Time-out basically means taking a break to deal with overwhelming emotions and clear your thoughts. The silent treatment, on the other hand, is destructive, indefinite, contemptuous, unilateral, and meant to alleviate the abusers sense of responsibility and allocate all the blame onto the victim.

Does silence hurt a narcissist?

Essentially, the narcissistic person's message is one of extreme disapproval to the degree that the silence renders the target so insignificant that he or she is ignored and becomes more or less nonexistent in the eyes of the narcissistic person.

How do you make a narcissist miserable?

14 Ways to Make a Narcissist Miserable:Lack of Attention.Doing something they don't like.Losing.Logic and Facts.Boundaries.Critical Thinking.Spontaneous Behavior.Someone else's Success.More items...•

How long should silent treatment last?

If the perpetrator still refuses to acknowledge the victim's existence for long periods of time, it might be right to leave the relationship. In the end, whether it lasts four hours or four decades, the silent treatment says more about the person doing it than it does about the person receiving it.

What does cutting off all contact with a narcissist do to them?

Breaking up with a narcissist is likely to be a draining experience. Either they won't let you go without a fight, or they will discard you without looking back. Both experiences are extremely hurtful.

What happens to narcissist when you go no contact?

If we ignore them again by saying “no” or going “no contact” with them, narcissists might go into a complete rage. This rage is a coping mechanism in order for them to deal with us keeping our distance from them or saying “no” to them. A rejection of narcissists means that we think they are not perfect.

How do you make a narcissist regret losing you?

How to Make a Narcissist Regret Losing You Cut off all contact with the person. Be unattainable and focus on your well-being. Spend time with your support network. Realize that people with NPD can't feel regret. Resist the urge to get revenge. Give yourself a chance to grieve the relationship.More items...•

Does no contact work on a narcissist?

Going no contact is probably the most effective way to escape the claws of a narcissist. However, it's not as easy as blocking his number. The narcissist isn't the “if you love somebody set them free” kind of person. He (or she) is going to fight!

Does silent treatment work on narcissist?

1:1412:35Narcissists and the Silent Treatment - YouTubeYouTubeStart of suggested clipEnd of suggested clipSo the silent treatment is exactly what it sounds like now let me give you i'll give you an exampleMoreSo the silent treatment is exactly what it sounds like now let me give you i'll give you an example one day perhaps. You have an argument with somebody narcissistic or difficult in your life or maybe

How do you tell when a narcissist is done with you?

Let's find out.For starters, narcissists are finished with you once your narcissistic supply gets stale.When they show more interest in those outsides of your relationship as they seek validation, your opinion is becoming less valuable to them.They start to devalue you.They finally ignore you for good.More items...•

How to deal with Narcissists?

If they happen to pass your way, then you can politely but firmly inform them that you aren’t interested in what they have to say. However, to get rid of them once and for all, you’ll have to resort to the silent treatment, a classic method of control. The best way to deal with a narcissist in this manner is to simply make yourself disappear.

What happens when you stand up to a narcissist?

They will try to make you feel like you are in the wrong for standing up for yourself, but remember that the only thing they care about is how you make them look. If you have a narcissist in your life, there is a good chance they have been making you feel victimized for a while.

What Happens When You Give a Narcissist the Silent Treatment?

This technique works because it makes the narcissist feel ignored and insignificant. This, in turn, will make them seek attention from someone else. The only downside to this is that you have to do it for a long time before it has any effect on the narcissist.

How to Deal with a Narcissist That Uses The Silent Treatment

Whether you’re dealing with an individual that you’re deeply in love with or someone you just met, the idea of walking away from a conversation that’s going nowhere can be daunting. But it doesn’t need to be. You can be assertive and say what you want instead of letting them dominate the conversation.

What does narcissist do when you ignore them?

In most cases, they don’t mean to be hurtful. Many narcissists genuinely don’t think they’re doing anything wrong. They’re just so obsessed with their own needs that they never think about anyone else’s. When they think you are ignoring them, they can’t control their temper, so they tend to lash out more easily.

Why The Silent Treatment Works?

The silence is important for two main reasons. Firstly, it stops the narcissist from being “the center of the universe.” By controlling what they can control, you’re able to get back at them for their behavior.

How To Give The Silent Treatment?

If you’re in a relationship with a narcissist, make sure that you say something nice and sweet to them before you give them the silent treatment. If your partner is a petty narcissist, they’ll probably respond with an even more petty response if you start this way. It might happen that if you are lucky enough you may get the silent narcissist.

How to understand a narcissist's silent treatment?

Understanding the Narcissist’s Silent Treatment. The first thing you have to do is to educate yourself about the situation. I always say that knowledge is power , and the first fact you need to know about this issue is exactly why narcissists give you the silent treatment in the first place.

What is the silent treatment of a narcissist?

What is the narcissist’s silent treatment? Just to be clear, the silent treatment is a manipulation tactic where a toxic narcissist will stop talking to you for days, hours, weeks or even months in order to punish you for some perceived slight.

Does silent therapy work for narcissists?

Plus, the silent treatment works particularly well on sensitive, empathic people (who are often quite attractive to narcissists ), because we are wired to respond to and attempt to soothe the emotions of the people around us, especially those we love.

Do narcissists want you to bend over backwards?

But the truth is that this is exactly what the narcissist wants – for you to bend over backward trying to appease them. All the while, the narcissist has no intention of allowing that to happen – they will only stop using the silent treatment when it is convenient for them or they want or need something from you.

1. Be independent

Narcissists are charming when you meet them the first time. They are full of empty promises and ideas. If someone with a narcissistic personality goes for a job interview, he may most likely get the job. This is because he knows just how to do it right, even though in the long run, he may be a bad worker.

2. Focus less on him

Narcissistic people love being in the spotlight, whether it’s positive or negative, they just love attention. They work so hard to be seen by everyone and could indulge you so much they make you unconsciously begin to keep aside your own desires to give them full attention.

3. Consciously set boundaries

Boundaries help toxic situations even though some people discover them late. A person with a narcissistic personality may feel he has the right to order you around, listen to your private conversations, or decide the choices you should make.

4. Give yourself more credit

One of the ways to keep yourself happy when you are in an abusive relationship is to find things to constantly keep you happy. A person with narcissistic behavior won’t do this for you. But they always expect it from you. You’re either a tool for them to achieve something or an obstacle.

5. Have an external support system

Your world does not revolve around anybody. If you are in a relationship and it’s unhealthy for you but you can’t avoid him, it’s time to go out and find other people you can talk to. In fact, talking to a narcissistic person could make you emotionally drained.

7. If you can, try to empathize with his feelings

A female doctor once spoke of her narcissistic ex-husband who always made travel plans without letting her know about them. He would arrive there, switch off his phones, and then get back home to blame her for not reaching out to him. To avoid trouble, she would listen to him like she understood how he felt even when she knew he was at fault.

Why Do Narcissists Ignore You?

Narcissists will ignore you to control you. What’s more, narcissists are very skillful at using the silent treatment. They know how to make you feel terrible. The narcissistic silent treatment is often much more effective than what you experience when anyone else in your life might ignore you.

What are the Different Ways a Narcissist Uses the Silent Treatment?

There are a number of different ways the narcissist will use the silent treatment to affect your behavior and gain control. They vary in severity, but they can all be extremely effective. Let’s explore each of these circumstances.

Is the Silent Treatment Narcissistic Abuse?

The silent treatment is absolutely a form of narcissistic abuse. While there may be times when healthy people need time alone to process their feelings and figure out exactly what is bothering them, when someone uses the silent treatment to punish you, that’s emotional abuse.

How To Make A Narcissist Stop Ignoring You

So, what can you do to get the narcissist to stop ignoring you? Let’s look at several techniques that are very effective.

Final Thoughts

When the narcissist uses the silent treatment or ignores you in other ways, they are doing so to manipulate you into doing what they want or focusing all your attention on them. It can be a damaging tactic given that it can make you feel like you mean nothing to them.

What does silent treatment mean for a narcissist?

In other words, whenever the narcissist feels a decrease in their narcissist supply, he/she uses the big weapon of silent treatment on targets. So, if you want to know why your narcissist is giving you the silent treatment, you gotta trace out the incident that made him feel less valued.

How long does a narcissist's silent treatment last?

Narcissists have a huge patience in waiting for the narcissistic supply. Thus the narcissist’s silent treatment can long for days, weeks, months and even years also.

What happens during silent treatment?

So, during the silent treatment, you get confused and chase back the narcissist. Even if you did not chase, the narcissist knew that you are wondering and thinking about them continuously. This is what makes the narcissist’s ego satisfied and his longing for the narcissistic supply will be fulfilled.

What happens when you get irritated by a narcissist?

You get irritated, you get disturbed, You lose control of yourself and finally, You chase the narcissist and come to them. . And exactly this is what a narcissist expects and wants. By doing so, the narcissist automatically gains control over the relationship..

What is the silent treatment?

To be frank, the silent treatment is one of the narcissist’s cruel weapons used on people who love him. In other words, on the people from whom he gets that narcissistic supply. If you are in a relationship with a narcissist, you might already know how the silent treatment is like.. No calls..

Do narcissists leave their exes?

No matter how much rude they can be.. The narcissist never ever leaves a person from whom he gets the narcissistic supply. This is the reason why many narcissists even try to get in contact with their exes even years after their breakup.

Do narcissists come back?

Narcissists do come back in most cases after the silent treatment. If you clearly observe narcissist patterns and deeply understand a narcissist’s past behaviours, you’ll figure out one thing. No matter how many new people narcissists meet.. No matter how much rude they can be..

What happens when a narcissist discards you?

When the narcissist seemingly discards you, it’s usually all smoke and mirrors to trigger your abandonment wounds so that you will accept their awful behaviors and eventually give them their way just to keep them in your life.

What is the bad thing about being a narcissist?

The bad side of staying in a relationship with a narcissist is that it keeps you stuck in a hopeless situation. Holding onto hope that the narcissist in your life will change is a pipe dream that leads to a wasted life. The idea can be likened to the legends of Big Foot and the Loch Ness Monster.

Can you show someone you have NPD?

No, with people with npd, you want to show them that they are not right in any way, shape, or form. When they finally reach out after giving you the silent treatment, make sure they are met with complete indifference and silence as they begin to recognize that their game didn’t work this time.

Can you use silent treatment against someone?

Normal people may need some time alone to think and reset, but they will never, ever use the silent treatment as a form of punishment against you. Someone who cares about you will come back and want to have a two-way conversation about how to make things work between you.

What does it mean when a narcissist is silent?

Silent treatment can also mean the Narcissist is otherwise preoccupied and is choosing to intentionally ignore you. If you don’t reach out it will probably frustrate and confuse your narcissist. However if you reach out too persistently or ask too many questions then be prepared to continue to be ignored.

Why do narcissists use silent treatment?

Silent treatment can be initiated to show you that you do not matter, to gain compliance, or to punish you for doing something wrong in the relationship.

What happens when a narc goes silent?

The narc goes silent and need you to plead for him/her to pick up the phone or respond to attempts of contact. Your attempts of contact, is super fuel to the narcissist. During the silent treatment, it is not unusual for the narcissist to block and unblock, block and then again unblock their victims. The.

What happens if you don't reach out to a narc?

-The Narc will leave hints about their whereabouts or activities on social media or other places you are sure to notice.

What happens if you react harshly to someone?

If you react harshly, for example, calling them out on their behaviour, then they will go into a narcissistic rage, a result of narcissistic injury . This will either cause them to completely discard you or be vengeful. However, If you react positively, then this will give them more power over you.

How long does silent treatment last?

Like me if you to be the narcissist’s friend who refuses to reach out, the silent treatment will last at least 2 weeks. Quora User. , Dog daycare attendant, vet physiology ast, vet tech.

Can a narcissist unblock you during silent treatment?

During the silent treatment, it is not unusual for the narcissist to block and unblock, block and then again unblock their victims. They would have turned you on and off like a light bulb if possible. This, because your attempts of contact in the period of silent treatment is super fuel to the cruel narcissist.

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