how can i stop giving my husband the silent treatment

1. Take some time to cool off.
2. Give your partner space to think.
3. Don't apologize unless you're truly sorry.
4. Apologize if you're truly sorry.
5. Ask yourself whether it's just a personality difference.
6. Set rules for healthy communication. Since the silent treatment is a way for your partner to gain control, you need to take care of yourself so their behavior doesn't ...

Full Answer

Why does my husband give me silent treatment?

When a person gives you the silent treatment or “stonewall” on you, most of the time they are trying to let you know that something is wrong without telling you why. If you ask if anything is wrong, you are met with silence. There is no explanation, no response of any kind, only stony silence.

How to respond when someone gives you the silent treatment?

• Never beg or plead. It might stop the silent treatment for the time being but it will most definitely come up again.
• Do not retaliate. It just escalates things.
• Do not apologize when it is not your mistake. ...
• Do not undermine yourself. ...
• Do not excuse the behavior. ...
• Do not broadcast. ...
• Do not build a mountain out of a molehill. ...

How to cope with silent treatment in marriage?

Part 3 of 4: Moving Forward in the Relationship Download Article

1. Embrace the break. The silent treatment often leads to some time apart. ...
2. Show that you care. Although the silent treatment is annoying, try to see things through the person’s perspective.
3. Apologize for your own wrongdoings. If you know you’ve said or done something hurtful, fess up. ...
4. Get therapy. ...

What happens when you give a narcissist the silent treatment?

When you start to give the silent treatment to the narcissist, the narcissist immediately finds it offending and hurting. As narcissists can’t tolerate being ignored, the act of silent treatment strikes the narcissist much harder than the normal people.

How do you respond to silent treatment in marriage?

How to Respond to the Silent Treatment from Your SpouseDon't assume you know the reason for the silent treatment. ... Explain to your Silent Spouse your need and desire to communicate. ... Be ready to listen, not just talk. ... Be gracious, not caustic or sarcastic, when your spouse does make the effort to talk with you.More items...

How do I break the silent treatment?

Tell the person how the silent treatment hurts and leaves you feeling frustrated and alone. That's not what you want or need in a relationship. Explain that you can't resolve issues this way, then be specific about those issues. If this sort of behavior is a relationship deal-breaker for you, state it plainly.

How do I deal with a silent husband?

Avoid inventing ways to get your partner to talk with you or acknowledge you. If you can safely do so, walk away when your partner gives you the silent treatment and do something you enjoy. If your partner is unwilling to change, it is important that you make your emotional and physical safety a priority.

What does it mean when your spouse gives you the silent treatment?

“Through withholding approval, they are non-verbally expressing that your actions and words are unacceptable.” Someone may use the silent treatment if they are angry or overwhelmed and don't know how to explain themselves in a healthy manner.

How long should silent treatment last?

If the perpetrator still refuses to acknowledge the victim's existence for long periods of time, it might be right to leave the relationship. In the end, whether it lasts four hours or four decades, the silent treatment says more about the person doing it than it does about the person receiving it.

What does silence do to a man?

Findings from his in-depth analysis revealed that the silent treatment is 'tremendously' damaging to a relationship. It decreases relationship satisfaction for both partners, diminishes feelings of intimacy, and reduces the capacity to communicate in a way that's healthy and meaningful.

How do you break a silent relationship?

10 steps to break relationship silenceText a thoughtful message.Make a phone call.Apologize.Schedule a coffee date.Avoid reacting to toxicity.Give the other person space.Workshops or classes.Use the situation to create boundaries.More items...•

Is silence good in a marriage?

Moments of silence shared with significant others shouldn't come from a place of tension; it's more about spending quality time together and simply appreciating each other's presence. Moving past "the silent treatment" will do wonders for your relationship.

How do I ignore my husband to teach him a lesson?

How to Ignore Your Boyfriend to Teach Him a Lesson Give him the cold shoulder. Be short with him when you do speak. Delay your responses when he calls. Ignore him on social media. Give him space. Stay busy. Pay more attention to guy friends. Give him the chance to take initiative.More items...

What should I do if my partner ignores me?

Is Your Partner Ignoring You? 6 Expert Tips To TryMake Sure You're On The Same Page When Communicating. ... Stop Avoiding Confrontation. ... Learn How To Communicate Effectively. ... If You Know You've Done Something Wrong, Apologize. ... Reassure Your Partner That You Are Serious About This, Too.More items...•

Can silent treatment lead to divorce?

"And most of the research that we cited mentioned it as a pervasive and/or common struggle for married partners." Schrodt's study shows that demand-withdrawal, including the silent treatment, can lead to relationship dissatisfaction and even be a factor in divorce.

What to do if your partner is silent?

If your partner is unwilling to change, you may want to consider your options including breaking off the relationship at some point.

What does silent treatment do to a relationship?

When the person using the silent treatment takes away the ability to communicate and collaborate with one another, the person on the receiving end often will go to great lengths to restore the verbal aspect of the relationship.

Why is a victim silent?

There are also instances when a victim of abuse is silent as a way to stay safe and keep an already abusive situation from escalating. In these situations, the victim knows that saying something—even if their partner demands it—will only escalate the situation and lead to more abuse.

Why do people use silent treatment?

Research. Researchers have found that the silent treatment is used by both men and women to terminate a partner's behaviors or words rather than to elicit them. 1  In abusive relationships, the silent treatment is used to manipulate the other person and to establish power over them.

What is silent treatment?

Silent treatment is a flat-out refusal to ever discuss the issue —now or later. In other words, their silence deflects the conversation and communicates that the issue is off-limits. When this happens, the person on the receiving end of the silent treatment must continue to wrestle with their pain and disappointment alone.

How to avoid taking responsibility for bad behavior?

Use the silent treatment to put you in your place. Give you the cold shoulder for days or weeks at a time. Refuse to talk, make eye contact, answer calls, or respond to texts. Fall back on the silent treatment when things don't go their way. Use it as a way to avoid taking responsibility for bad behavior.

How to use silence?

Use silence as a passive-aggressive way to control your behavior (e.g., you give in to demands or you avoid certain behaviors to avoid the silent treatment) Silence you when you attempt to assert yourself by refusing to talk. Use it as the primary means of dealing with conflict.

What is silent treatment abuse?

It is silent treatment abuse designed to show that their partner is not worth their time and effort. It is no different than ignoring hater comments on social media. However, to your spouse, silent treatment in marriage is depressing and a deliberate attempt to cause psychological and emotional harm.

Why do people use silent treatment in marriage?

Some people use the silent treatment in marriage to deal with problems. They use it to cut the argument short or as leverage. To figure out the mechanics behind silent treatment in marriage and how to react to it, let us first understand the motivations behind it.

How to win against silent treatment?

Do something constructive such as going about your day. If you are thinking about how to win against the silent treatment, the best way is to give your partner space while preventing them from thinking that their psychological attack is working. Silent treatment emotional abuse is a form of attack.

What are the psychological effects of silent treatment?

It is a purposeful act to create a feeling of helplessness, paranoia, dependency, loss, and loneliness. It could potentially lead to anxiety and clinical depression. Silent treatment in marriage is not fair, but even married adults sometimes act like children.

What is the marriage.com course?

If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.

Is silent treatment defense created equal?

Cruel as it may seem, not all silent treatment defense mechanisms are created equal. Like corporal punishment, its application, severity, and motivation determine the morality of the act itself. That in itself is debatable, but that is another topic for another time.

Is silence fair in marriage?

Silent treatment in marriage is not fair, but even married adults sometimes act like children. If you want to know how to respond to silent treatment in relationships, well, the best way is not to respond to it at all. “Ignore the silence,” Go about your day, don’t do more or less than what you would usually do.

Why do we continue to use the silent treatment?

Why do we continue to use ‘the silent treatment’ if it is so destructive? It gets back to basics—‘hurting people hurt people’—and research shows that ‘the silent treatment’ is particularly effective in causing damage. No one wants to be on the receiving end of this form of treatment, and we all know it.

What to do when you feel overwhelmed?

When feeling overwhelmed, it is important and even responsible to pull back, reflect and choose your actions carefully. If you let your mate know you are taking some time to consider how to effectively respond, they will likely be understanding and even appreciative.

Why does my husband give me the silent treatment?

In a marriage, one spouse will often use the silent treatment as a passive aggressive way to punish the other spouse.

Why does silent treatment go on for hours?

Because the silent treatment in marriage often goes on for hours and possibly even days, it’s most likely not being used by your husband or wife as a way to calm themselves. It is a deeper problem than that.

What happens if you don't communicate in your marriage?

Often, a lack of healthy communication skills in marriage can lead to couples saying and doing things that can be damaging to their marriage. Unresolved conflict can build up over time and can lead to more anger, frustration, and resentment which can dissolve your connection.

Why is it important to talk to your wife?

It’s important to talk to your wife when you’re both calm to develop some strategies to help you resolve conflict in a more productive manner. If the two of you can successfully resolve a few problems together, it’s likely your wife will gain confidence in your ability to work together as a couple.

Can the silent treatment hurt a marriage?

A lot of people use the silent treatment in marriage. However, this technique can actually be quite damaging to your relationship. If you’re on the receiving end of the silent treatment, no doubt you’re looking for how to put an end to it.

How can I stop the silent treatment and get back into my spouse's good graces?

Silent treatment from a spouse can be very frustrating. A lot of couples go through this. While some are able to put up with it, others can't. Silent treatment is a passive-aggressive behavior. People who perform this childish act, often dislike conflict and direct confrontation.

My Fianceé was once so nice. We had a blissful relationship for 3 years

For the last 2 years, it's been rough. When I try to communicate with him, he shuts me out and gives me the silent treatment for a few days. He blames everything on me and yells to the point where my body feels ill and I cower. He has been doing this for the last 2 years and I'm at the point where I want him out because I don't see things changing.

My fiancé is giving me the silent treatment because I took a photo of him while he was changing my car tire

My fiancé is giving me the silent treatment because I took a photo of him while he was changing my car tire. He got angry because I guess he felt I was irresponsible. I apologized and explained that I wanted us to remember this moment later on. I have tried: I tried calling and texting.

I have been suffering the silent treatment for 4 years from my husband. I need advice on how to stop giving him the satisfaction of hurting me mentally and making me feel unworthy and unimportant. He does it on purpose. I know he is aware of his behavior

How should I react when he ignores me intentionally me for days? I am constantly trying to make him happy. I ask a question and he looks straight ahead and does not answer. I have to say his name for an hour before he makes me feel crazy and snaps at me!

For one week now, he hasn't talked to me. How should I contact him?

My partner had to stay with his mother to take care of her as she is old and sick. It has been 6 months now, and we basically communicated only over the phone. I am working full-time as a teacher, and he is retired. We have been together 6 years.

My wife doesn't want to see things from my point view?

My wife always feels she is right even when she is entirely wrong and doesn't see her mistakes under any circumstances? How do I solve it? I have tried: Talking to her on a rational manner and explaining to her how that makes me feel. I think it was caused by: Lack of communication from her side..

My husband is not speaking to me at all after 15 days of married life?

My husband is not speaking to me at all after 15 days of married life. I have tried: I tried to speak to him every now and then. I think it was caused by: No idea!

What is silent treatment?

Left unchecked, the silent treatment becomes a pattern of behavior and emotional abuse that is used to manipulate over time. Fear not! There are a few things you can do to deal with the silent treatment in a relationship. Let’s break it down.

Why is it important to acknowledge your partner's feelings?

Acknowledging your partner’s feelings not only validates their experience, it creates space for a larger conversation. Through larger conversations, you can lay the foundation for trust and signal that you’re interested in understanding their point of view while being honest about how the silent treatment makes you feel.

Do you have to say "what you did hurt me"?

Most of the time, you actually have to say the words “Hey, what you did hurt me,” even when you would rather keep your mouth shut and protect yourself from all of the feels. Even when your partner means well, it pays off to speak up when they say or do something to upset you.

Is it worth getting over the silent treatment?

Getting over the silent treatment isn’t particularly easy or pleasant. And yet, it’s work worth doing. Not only will it help you become a better communicator, it also helps you build a relationship based on trust and healthy communication.

What to do when your dog doesn't fall into your arms?

If they don’t fall immediately into your arms, a little down time is likely needed. Offer to listen when they are ready to talk. You can go to another room, out in the garage, or leave on an errand. The more productive your errand, the better.

Is the silent treatment fair?

But the silent treatment isn’t fair, and it’s harmful to both parties. For the one giving the silent treatment, it’s like drinking rat poison and expecting the other person to die. The receiving end of the silent treatment isn’t easy either. You shouldn’t be a doormat.

Is Your Spouse Giving You The Silent Treatment?

Reasons That Your Husband/Wife Is Giving You The Silent Treatment in Marriage

Alternatives to Giving (or Getting!) The Silent Treatment in Marriage

• It’s important to talk to your wife when you’re both calm to develop some strategies to help you resolve conflict in a more productive manner. If the two of you can successfully resolve a few problems together, it’s likely your wife will gain confidence in your ability to work together as a couple. More inspiration on how to cope with silent treatm...

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Unresolved Conflict