Treatment FAQ

why the silent treatment is so damaging

by Camille Kirlin Published 2 years ago Updated 2 years ago
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Why does the silent treatment hurt so much?

Silence is used as a weapon to cut off meaningful conversations, stop the flow of information, and ultimately hurt the other person. In fact, research shows that ignoring or excluding someone activates the same area of the brain that is activated by physical pain.Jun 1, 2020

What does silent treatment do to a person?

Using the silent treatment prevents people from resolving their conflicts in a helpful way. When one partner wants to talk about a problem but the other withdraws, it can cause negative emotions such as anger and distress.Jun 8, 2020

What does silent treatment do to a man?

Using the silent treatment will only lead to more anger and resentment while further driving a wedge between you and your partner. --Written by Nick Nadel for guyspeak.comHow do you communicate with your guy when you're upset?Feb 28, 2011

Is ignoring someone damaging?

Why Ignoring Is Abuse Here's why the silent treatment can be damaging: It can cause emotional trauma. A person who is ignored feels a wide range of confusing emotions. They may feel anger, sadness, frustration, guilt, despair, and loneliness, all at once.Feb 25, 2020

Why is silence the best revenge?

Silence speaks volumes Believe it, the silence and zero reaction really bothers your ex, and they consider it as the best served revenge. Nothing creates more curiosity than silence. Your ex would expect a vent or an angry rant from you, but don't give in. If you do, you are meeting their expectations.Sep 9, 2019

Why is silence so powerful?

Being silent allows us to channel our energies. It gives us the clarity we need to calmly face challenges and uncertainty. The hour of silence I practice each morning, and encourage you to practice as well, can be a time for collecting our thoughts, training our minds, and deciding how we want to enter into the day.Jul 22, 2021

Why do men go silent?

Men can be silent when they're angry, happy, fearful, or sad! It's confusing for everyone. Partners, mainly women, experience huge concern, confusion and anxiety when they experience the silence and withdrawal of their partner.

How do you win the silent treatment?

Maintain your dignity and try these six strategies.Look for the reasons behind the silent treatment. ... Share the psychology behind silent treatment. ... Avoid reacting to silent abuse. ... Respond with calmness and speak kindly. ... State your boundaries clearly. ... Take care of yourself. ... Consider professional therapy.Apr 26, 2021

How long can silent treatment last?

If the perpetrator still refuses to acknowledge the victim's existence for long periods of time, it might be right to leave the relationship. In the end, whether it lasts four hours or four decades, the silent treatment says more about the person doing it than it does about the person receiving it.Mar 26, 2021

What being ignored does to the brain?

Being on the receiving end of a social snub causes a cascade of emotional and cognitive consequences, researchers have found. Social rejection increases anger, anxiety, depression, jealousy and sadness.

What is the psychology behind ignoring someone?

Key points. Research finds that feeling ignored can affect people's sensory perceptions, such as feeling that surroundings seem quieter. Being ignored creates feelings of self-doubt, feeling a lack of control, and feeling not worthy of attention.Jul 4, 2021

What are the psychological effects of being ignored?

In fact, the negative effects of being ignored can be long lasting and have been found to lead to health problems, suicidal tendencies, eating disorders, and a reduction in psychological motivation (that is, the initiative that drives us to act on goal oriented behaviors like getting a drink of water when we are ...Jun 9, 2016

What happens when you give someone the silent treatment?

When you give someone the silent treatment, you are showing them that they are insignificant, unworthy and unlovable. It can greatly deplete their self-esteem, leaving serious consequences. It can cause physical issues as well. When you are ignored, a part of your brain responsible for detecting pain will activate, telling you that you’re, in fact, ...

How does silence affect a relationship?

A healthy relationship should be based on honest and open communication. While a certain number of emotional intimacy issues and aversion to vulnerability are normal for most people, if your partner ignores you constantly and makes you beg for their attention, your relationship may be quite unhealthy. Here’s are some more ways in which the silent treatment can affect relationships: 1 It leaves no room for healthy communication. 2 It enables your partner to control you. 3 It makes you feel dependent on your partner. 4 It makes it hard for you to love yourself . 5 It can make you resent your partner deeply. 6 It can make you fear love after the relationship is over .

Why do people ignore their feelings?

Often, people choose to ignore because they don’t know how to express their feelings properly.

What happens when you are ignored?

A person who is ignored feels a wide range of confusing emotions. They may feel anger, sadness, frustration, guilt, despair, and loneliness, all at once. Naturally, such emotional confusion can have a damaging effect on your psyche. It can decrease your sense of self-worth.

Is silent treatment a form of abuse?

However, when ignoring is used, or to be more precise, abused in order to manipulate another person, it can definitely qualify as abuse.

Is it healthy to be in a relationship?

While a certain number of emotional intimacy issues and aversion to vulnerability are normal for most people, if your partner ignores you constantly and makes you beg for their attention, your relationship may be quite unhealthy.

Is a relationship perfect?

No relationship is perfect, that much is true. While some relationship problems, such as lacking emotional intimacy and emotional suffocation, don’t necessarily have a malicious aspect and can be resolved through effective emotional intimacy coaching, ignoring, when used as a form of control, is a serious red flag.

Who said "Excluding and ignoring people"?

Kipling Williams, a Professor of Psychology at Purdue University says: “ Excluding and ignoring people, such as giving them the cold shoulder or silent treatment, are used to punish or manipulate, and people may not realize the emotional or physical harm that is being done. ”

Who is Janey Davies?

Janey Davies is a professional writer who has been published online for over 10 years. She has an Honours Degree in Psychology from the Open University and her passions include learning about the mind, popular science, and politics. When she is relaxing, she likes to walk her dog, read science fiction, and listen to Muse.

Do couples go to sleep during an argument?

Some couples never go to sleep on an argument, others have a chat in the mornings over breakfast. To ensure you don’t fall into the demand/withdraw pattern again, set your own rules for communicating.

Why do people use silent treatment?

This is for several reasons: It gives the abuser control over the victim; It silences the victim’s voice; It puts the victim’s life on hold while the abuser decides when the silent treatment should end;

What is silent treatment?

Silent treatment abuse is a passive aggressive method of gaining control and having your own way. Realise that you are worthy of a conversation, you do not have to put up with childish behaviour and if the abuser does not start communicating, then walk away. References: http://www.goodtherapy.org. http://www.lifehack.org.

What happens if you don't talk to your significant other?

Not being spoken to by a significant other is distressing and can cause a range overwhelming emotions that include depression, stress, worry, frustration and even anger. Dismissing someone’s right to a conversation is demeaning and can leave the victim with a sense of worthlessness and devalue them.

Which part of the brain is responsible for pain?

In our brains, there is an area known as the anterior cingulate cortex, which is responsible for processing different levels of pain. It is activated when a person is receiving silent treatment and the brain processes this as actual pain in the body.

Who is Janey Davies?

Sub-editor & staff writer at Learning Mind. Janey Davies has been published online for over 10 years. She has suffered from a panic disorder for over 30 years, which prompted her to study and receive an Honours degree in Psychology with the Open University.

Why do people change their behaviour when they are silent?

People who are receiving silent treatment often have been worn down over the years by the abuser and this leads to them changing their behaviour in order to avoid being ignored. The problem, however, is not with the victim, and typically, there is nothing they can do as the abuser is unreasonable when doling out the silent treatment.

Can silent treatment abuse be ignored?

A victim of the silent treatment abuse will usually only put up with being ignored for a certain amount of time. If they are lucky to have good friends around them that they can talk to and see that this behaviour is unreasonable, then they will have a good chance of getting out of the relationship.

What is silent treatment?

The silent treatment is a way to inflict pain without visible bruising – literally. Research has shown that the act of ignoring or excluding activates the same area of the brain that is activated by physical pain.

Why is it so hard to break a pattern?

It’s an incredibly hard pattern to break because both partners lay the blame at the feet of the other. ‘Partners get locked in this pattern, largely because they each see the other as the cause,’ explains Schrodt. ‘Both partners see the other as the problem.’.

Why do people use silent treatment?

This helps to diffuse the aggression that one person is feeling. 2. You can understand your partner better. People who use the silent treatment as a method of punishing their partner can stay silent for days building a wall around them and behaving that their partner doesn’t exist. This is terrible for a relationship.

Why is silence important in marriage?

Silent treatment could be beneficial and abusive too. Silent treatment in marriage is thought to be a way of punishing a partner and is akin to passive aggressive behavior. But it is not always as mean as it is made out to be.

Is dissociating a bad thing?

Dissociating is not always a bad thing as long as you have the right boundaries and reasons for it. The silent treatment can work wonders in relationships but interestingly it can resolve tensions with exes too. Why the silent treatment works with an ex is something you might be wondering.

Is silent treatment effective?

While prolonged silent treatment could lead to emotional abuse and is said to be as lethal as physical abuse having long-term psychological effects, it is often regarded as an effective tool for conflict resolution.

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