Treatment FAQ

why silent treatment never works

by Adele Johnson Published 3 years ago Updated 2 years ago
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Ostracism or exclusion have been studied for decades. While the silent treatment may not leave physical scars it can cause pain that is deeper and lasts longer than physical injury. Being ostracized is an invisible form of bullying but because it doesn’t leave bruises we often underestimate its impact.

Full Answer

Why are you receiving the silent treatment?

The silent treatment is a sign that communication in the relationship has broken down. By working on the communication and striving to create an environment where you can both be open and honest about your feelings; you will strip away most of the reasons for applying the silent treatment.

What are the effects of Silent Treatment?

What to Do If Someone is Giving you the Silent Treatment

  • show the person you are not bothered by their behavior
  • do not let the perpetrator witness your negative emotions
  • tell the person their behavior is immature, controlling, desperate, manipulative, ridiculous, etc. and laugh it off.

How does the silence treatment affect marriage?

What to do when your partner, wife or husband ignores you

  • there are no benefits of the silent treatment, though your spouse or partner may feel safer having built a wall of silence around them
  • you have the right to feel safe in your relationship – physically and emotionally – when your spouse ignores you, it’s hard to feel safe
  • you are not your partner’s therapist

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Is the silent treatment ever OK?

There are people who take the silent treatment to extremes. No one should ever be treated this way, or feel like they have to put up with this kind of behavior in someone else because it is most definitely not okay. It is also not something you can just “get over” or “just move on” from because it stays with you.

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Why is the silent treatment not effective?

Giving the silent treatment is also not of benefit to the person who is silent. The person who is silent may not actually feel like they want to punish their partner. They may internally be experiencing a sort of emotional flooding, where they know they are retreating and can't get themselves back.

Does the silent treatment ever work?

In most cases, using the silent treatment is not a productive way to deal with a disagreement. Research indicates that both men and women use the silent treatment in relationships. However, clear and direct communication is essential for healthy relationships.

Why is the silent treatment so powerful?

That's because the silent treatment can speak volumes, even when someone is not saying a word or limiting their conversation to short or one-syllable responses. From a psychological standpoint, this brush-off technique is largely viewed in a negative light.

What type of person gives the silent treatment?

The silent treatment can happen in romantic relationships or any type of relationship, including between parents and children, friends, and co-workers. It can be a fleeting reaction to a situation in which one person feels angry, frustrated, or too overwhelmed to deal with a problem.

Is silence the best revenge?

Silence speaks volumes The best revenge is no reaction. Believe it, the silence and zero reaction really bothers your ex, and they consider it as the best served revenge. Nothing creates more curiosity than silence. Your ex would expect a vent or an angry rant from you, but don't give in.

How powerful is the silent treatment?

Findings from his in-depth analysis revealed that the silent treatment is 'tremendously' damaging to a relationship. It decreases relationship satisfaction for both partners, diminishes feelings of intimacy, and reduces the capacity to communicate in a way that's healthy and meaningful.

What Ignoring does to a person?

Research finds that feeling ignored can affect people's sensory perceptions, such as feeling that surroundings seem quieter. Being ignored creates feelings of self-doubt, feeling a lack of control, and feeling not worthy of attention.

Is silence the best response to an ex?

If you're looking to win your ex back, radio silence is probably one of the best ways to go ahead. For the uninitiated, this is a full-proof technique of getting your ex back in your life.

Is silent treatment a red flag?

The Silent Treatment is Your S.O.'s Main Conflict Technique If you're in a relationship, conflicts and arguments come with the territory. Managing these conflicts and working through them together are a necessary part of developing a healthy relationship, which makes the silent treatment a huge red flag.

What does silence do to a narcissist?

Essentially, the narcissistic person's message is one of extreme disapproval to the degree that the silence renders the target so insignificant that he or she is ignored and becomes more or less nonexistent in the eyes of the narcissistic person.

How does a narcissist react to no contact?

They can be moody, angry and irritable A narcissist struggles with no in-person contact because they utilize body language to communicate, get their needs met, and maintain control. They have low self-esteem, and without validation, they can come become moody, angry, and irritable.

What is silent treatment?

This is a term (and a technique) used when someone has “done you wrong” and you pay them back by refusing to speak to them . I recently saw a commercial for some silly show or other where the gal claimed the silent treatment was not effective because men like it! She said if you really wanted to get your husband mad, you don’t give them the silent treatment; you continue to talk to him! lol

What does it mean when you don't talk to someone?

Not talking to someone may mean you don’t have to acknowledge them, but it may not mean you won’t be upset by them again. They may continue to do the very thing you are angry about (over and over again) because you haven’t solved the problem, you’ve only stopped communicating–on YOUR end.

What is silent treatment?

The silent treatment can happen in romantic relationships or any type of relationship, including between parents and children, friends, and co-workers. It can be a fleeting reaction to a situation in which one person feels angry, frustrated, or too overwhelmed to deal with a problem.

Why do people go silent?

But some people use the silent treatment as a tool for exerting power over someone or creating emotional distance.

What to do when your spouse is silent?

If it’s your spouse or partner, you both may benefit from couples counseling or individual therapy to learn better ways to manage conflicts. When the silent treatment is part of the larger issue of emotional abuse, don’t blame yourself. It’s not your fault.

How to deal with emotional abuse?

Make it about you. Ignore it. Offer solutions. Stand up for yourself. What not to do. Signs of emotional abuse. Get help. Takeaway. If you’ve ever found yourself in a situation where you couldn’t get someone to talk to you, or even acknowledge you, you’ve experienced the silent treatment.

How does being ostracized affect your self esteem?

Research shows that frequently feeling ostracized can reduce your self-esteem and sense of belonging. It can leave you feeling like you’re without control. This effect may be more intense when it’s done by someone close to you as a form of punishment. know the signs.

What to do when things escalate to emotional abuse?

When things escalate to emotional abuse, you’re not in a healthy relationship. It’s time to put yourself first. If you believe the relationship is worth salvaging: Set firm boundaries about what acceptable behavior is and how you expect to be treated.

Is silent treatment a good way to communicate?

While it’s not always malicious, the silent treatment certainly isn’t a healthy way to communicate. If the silent treatment looms large in your life, there are steps you can take to improve your relationship or remove yourself from an abusive situation. Last medically reviewed on April 30, 2019.

Why is silent treatment important?

for healthy relationships. Using the silent treatment prevents people from resolving their conflicts in a helpful way. When one partner wants to talk about a problem but the other withdraws, it can cause negative emotions such as anger and distress.

What is silent treatment?

Summary. The silent treatment is a refusal to communicate verbally with another person. People who use the silent treatment may even refuse to acknowledge the presence of the other person. People use the silent treatment in many types of relationship, including romantic relationships. It can sometimes be a form of emotional abuse.

How does silent treatment affect relationships?

How it affects relationships. In most cases, using the silent treatment is not a productive way to deal with a disagreement. Research indicates that both men and women use the silent treatment in relationships. However, clear and direct communication is essential. for healthy relationships.

Why do people stay silent in a conversation?

These include: Avoidance: In some cases, people stay silent in a conversation because they do not know what to say or want to avoid conflict. Communication: A person may use the silent treatment if they do not know how to express their feelings but want their partner to know that they are upset.

What does it mean to acknowledge someone is using the silent treatment?

Acknowledge that someone is using the silent treatment. For example, a person can say, “I notice that you are not responding to me.” This lays the foundation for two people to engage with each other more effectively.

How does silence end?

the silence lasts for extended periods of time. the silence only ends when they decide it does. they talk to other people but not to their partner. they seek alliances from others. they use silence to blame their partner and make them feel guilty.

What to do if someone feels they are in danger?

If a person feels that they or their family are in immediate danger, they must call 911. If they are not in immediate danger, a person who believes that their partner is abusive should consider whether or not they wish to stay in the relationship. It will help someone in an abusive relationship to:

What are some behaviors that work?

Behaviors that work include listening, collaborating to solve problems and working to accept rifts that just won't go away. But first, you have to admit that something's wrong, Rittenour added. In the heat of the moment, warm communication can feel impossible.

Does silent treatment work?

But does the silent treatment work? The answer depends on your goal. If you're just trying to communicate that you're upset — and don't care about producing meaningful change in the relationship — then yes, said Paul Schrodt, an expert in communication and conflict at Texas Christian University.

Do romantic partners use silent treatment?

Another team of researchers, in a study published in the journal Communication Research Reports in 2009, found that in romantic relationships, partners who used the silent treatment more often were less committed to their relationship.

Is silent treatment more likely to produce frustration than change?

But beyond getting the recipient's attention, the silent treatment is more likely to produce frustration than change, said Christine Rittenour, an expert in family communication at West Virginia University. "The recipient has all these unanswered questions," Rittenour told Live Science.

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