The silent treatment is a form of emotional and mental abuse. It strips a person of their self-esteem and creates guilt and feelings of unworthiness in them. Sometimes couples go through days and even weeks of silent treatment.
Full Answer
Is silent treatment actually a form of abuse?
Yes, the silent treatment is a passive-aggressive form of emotional abuse. Used as a way to manipulate and control the victim, it can also be used as part of a strategy for psychological abuse that can cause complex post-traumatic distress disorder (C-PTSD) in its victims over time.
Does the silent treatment really work?
We now have pretty conclusive evidence from dozens of country and state studies that lockdowns were a highly ineffective way to combat the virus. Lockdowns may have saved some lives, but this response was the equivalent of trying to remove a tumor with a sledgehammer.
How do you respond to the silent treatment?
When Labour MP Stephen McCabe was told he had a heart murmur that needed attention ‘very urgently’, his initial response was to dismiss the advice ... Once detected, treatment may involve blood pressure drugs to open the arteries, blood thinners ...
Is the silent treatment a form of bullying?
The silent treatment is a more of a form of emotional abuse but those who practice it may still be considered bullies. The person who chooses this type of behavior knows what he or she is doing, they often seek out people who will not address their actions and hold them accountable.
Is silence a form of emotional abuse?
Punishment: If a person uses silence to punish someone or to exert control or power over them, this is a form of emotional abuse.
Is someone ignoring you emotionally abused?
People who use the silent treatment as a means of control want to put you in your place. They'll give you the cold shoulder for days or weeks on end to achieve those goals. This is emotional abuse.
Why is the silent treatment so hurtful?
It can be extremely painful, as it involves the loss of the relationship as you know it. It involves the loss of connection, love, intimacy, and maybe even family participation, so can create real suffering around the silent person. It can also feel unfair and unkind, leading to anger and further fighting.
Why do victims of abuse sometimes stay silent?
Reasons abuse survivors might stay silent “No one will believe me.” They might think nobody would believe them if they did tell someone that they were abused. Safety. A survivor may be very afraid of their abuser and may fear for their safety if they open up about their experiences.
Is the silent treatment a form of manipulation?
The silent treatment is widely regarded as a form of emotional manipulation and even psychological abuse. It is the act of ceasing to initiate or respond to communication with someone else or refusing to acknowledge them altogether.
What is the psychology behind ignoring someone?
Key points. Research finds that feeling ignored can affect people's sensory perceptions, such as feeling that surroundings seem quieter. Being ignored creates feelings of self-doubt, feeling a lack of control, and feeling not worthy of attention.
Is silent treatment a red flag?
The Silent Treatment is Your S.O.'s Main Conflict Technique If you're in a relationship, conflicts and arguments come with the territory. Managing these conflicts and working through them together are a necessary part of developing a healthy relationship, which makes the silent treatment a huge red flag.
Is silent treatment immature?
At best the silent treatment isan immature behavior used by spoiled brats and manipulativeindividuals. At worst, it is a weapon used by abusers to punish their victims. One demographic of the population that particularly loves the silent treatment is the narcissist.
Is silent treatment a form of Gaslighting?
The silent treatment or angry rages (or alternating between the two) are the main ways gaslighters use to punish their victims and regain control over them, Sarkis says.
What is Stockholm Syndrome?
Stockholm syndrome is a coping mechanism to a captive or abusive situation. People develop positive feelings toward their captors or abusers over time. This condition applies to situations including child abuse, coach-athlete abuse, relationship abuse and sex trafficking.
What are the traits of an abuser?
Red flags and warning signs of an abuser include but are not limited to:Extreme jealousy.Possessiveness.Unpredictability.A bad temper.Cruelty to animals.Verbal abuse.Extremely controlling behavior.Antiquated beliefs about roles of women and men in relationships.More items...
Is Gaslighting manipulated?
Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation in which the abuser attempts to sow self-doubt and confusion in their victim's mind. Typically, gaslighters are seeking to gain power and control over the other person, by distorting reality and forcing them to question their own judgment and intuition.
Why is silent treatment considered abuse?
1. It’s a means of exerting control over the someone. In any type of relationship, both parties should feel free to act how they choose.
What happens if you use silent treatment?
If one person uses the silent treatment on a regular basis, it sows the seeds of anxiety in the mind of the other. After all, they may never know when it will be used against them. That unpredictability is sure to put someone constantly on edge, anxious that they may trigger another period of silence.
Why do people feel nervous when they close off?
The silent treatment also causes anxiety during the event. Whilst one person closes off, the other is left searching for ways to make peace, though they also don’t want to make the situation worse, so they feel nervous when they try to make amends. 4. It can be used as a threat.
What does it mean to give someone the silent treatment?
By giving the silent treatment, you are inferring that you are in the right and they are in the wrong and that it is their responsibility to fix this. You give them no choice in the matter – if they do not do what you want, the silence will carry on. 2. It’s a means of punishing the other person.
Why is it important to remain quiet?
In this case, remaining quiet is a way to cope with the situation and the person. Silence is a form of protection and is often the only way to calm things down following an altercation. The silent treatment is also recommended if you have escaped an abusive relationship with a narcissist or sociopath.
What does it mean when one party takes a temporary oath of silence after a disagreement?
When one party takes a temporary oath of silence after a disagreement, it is their way of telling the other person, “You did this. You are to blame. I am innocent.”
What is silent treatment?
The silent treatment is the refusal to engage in verbal communication with someone, often as a response to conflict in a relationship. Also referred to as giving the cold shoulder or stonewalling, its use is a passive-aggressive form of control and can, in many circumstances, be considered a form of emotional abuse.
What is silent treatment?
Silent treatment is a form of emotional abuse. It’s a control tactic used to confuse the victim and cause anxiety. It is a form of manipulation and it hurts to be on the receiving end.
Why do people go silent?
Sakurai collected the most common reasons from clients, support group members, and online surveys, to why people choose to go silent. These include: 1 They have been victims of emotional abuse themselves and see silent treatment as revenge. 2 They are narcissistic by nature. 3 They are not good at expressing themselves. 4 To punish the other person. 5 To control the other person / manipulate the situation. 6 To inflict emotional pain. 7 They feel they weren’t taken seriously, so communication just seems pointless. 8 Feeling too overwhelmed to talk about or deal with the issue. 9 Afraid of their temper. 10 Afraid of how the other person will react to what they have to say. 11 Hoping time will make the problem go away. 12 To inflict the pain they were put through.
How to stop someone from being angry?
respond in anger, which can just escalate things. beg or plead, which only encourages the behavior. apologize just to put an end to it, even though you did nothing wrong. continuing to try reasoning with the other person after you’ve already given it a shot.
Is silent treatment a defensive tactic?
The silent treatment isn’t always meant to hurt you. Sometimes, it’s a defensive mechanism or they simply don’t know how to respond yet. While other times it is a passive-aggressive tactic to hold control over you. “In these cases, what they want is for you to feel bad enough to make the first move.
What is silent treatment?
The silent treatment can happen in romantic relationships or any type of relationship, including between parents and children, friends, and co-workers. It can be a fleeting reaction to a situation in which one person feels angry, frustrated, or too overwhelmed to deal with a problem.
How to deal with emotional abuse?
Make it about you. Ignore it. Offer solutions. Stand up for yourself. What not to do. Signs of emotional abuse. Get help. Takeaway. If you’ve ever found yourself in a situation where you couldn’t get someone to talk to you, or even acknowledge you, you’ve experienced the silent treatment.
What to do when your spouse is silent?
If it’s your spouse or partner, you both may benefit from couples counseling or individual therapy to learn better ways to manage conflicts. When the silent treatment is part of the larger issue of emotional abuse, don’t blame yourself. It’s not your fault.
How does being ostracized affect your self esteem?
Research shows that frequently feeling ostracized can reduce your self-esteem and sense of belonging. It can leave you feeling like you’re without control. This effect may be more intense when it’s done by someone close to you as a form of punishment. know the signs.
What to do when things escalate to emotional abuse?
When things escalate to emotional abuse, you’re not in a healthy relationship. It’s time to put yourself first. If you believe the relationship is worth salvaging: Set firm boundaries about what acceptable behavior is and how you expect to be treated.
Why do people go silent?
But some people use the silent treatment as a tool for exerting power over someone or creating emotional distance.
Is silent treatment a good way to communicate?
While it’s not always malicious, the silent treatment certainly isn’t a healthy way to communicate. If the silent treatment looms large in your life, there are steps you can take to improve your relationship or remove yourself from an abusive situation. Last medically reviewed on April 30, 2019.
People can claim power and control over you without even saying a word
S ometimes, it isn’t what they say, but it’s what they don’t say. Or more specifically, it’s what they refuse to say.
Avoidance
You call, but they never answer. You text, but you receive no response. You go to their place, and no one answers the door, even though you see your friend’s car in the driveway. You don’t know what you did or what’s going on. You frantically try to get a hold of them, begging them through texts to talk to you.
Stonewalling
I once had this friend who I will call Sharon. She taught me many lessons: 1. Never befriend a co-worker, 2. Only allow a co-worker to see your social media if you don’t work with them anymore, and 3. Stonewalling is a thing that exists, and boy oh boy, is it painful.
Why do people use the silent treatment?
People generally resort to using the silent treatment as a means of placing them in a position of control (often because they feel helpless in the face of their situations, their feelings, etc.). A person may also use the silent treatment to avoid personal responsibility for his own actions or to suppress a partner's attempts at asserting self-worth. Additionally, he may be employing the silent treatment predominantly due to a lack of ability to properly communicate. Most likely though, it's attributable to a combination of the above factors.
What is silent treatment?
The Silent Treatment Is Emotional Abuse. The silent treatment is your partner's way of telling you that you have done something wrong. As a consequence of this, he refuses to acknowledge or communicate with you. This is passive-aggressive emotional abuse.
What is considered an emotionally abusive relationship?
In the larger sense, a relationship can be considered emotionally abusive when one person consistently—whether fully intentional or not—uses abusive, hurtful language and bullying, intimidating behaviors to break down a person's self-esteem and self-worth and undermine their mental and emotional health.
What does it mean when your partner is ignored?
In doing so, your partner is attempting to induce feelings of powerlessness and shame. This is known as psychological or emotional abuse.
Is refusing to speak to someone without terms for repair a healthy activity?
As Schulman notes, 'Refusing to speak to someone without terms for repair is a strange, childish act of destruction in which nothing can be won'. Taking time out of a relationship can be a healthy activity, if done in the correct way and with the correct intent. You do it to save the relationship and not jeopardise it.
Is it normal to be silent?
Answer: It is never normal to be subjected to the silent treatment, which is a form of emotional abuse. However, don't confuse this with periods of 'cooling off' or taking 'time out.'. It is perfectly natural for couples to disagree and need some time alone to reflect and gather their thoughts.
Is emotional abuse more likely to be a physical or psychological abuse?
Just because you cannot see the damage being done, does not mean that it does not exist. In fact, victims of psychological abuse are more likely to suffer from the effects of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) than victims of physical abuse.
What is the silent treatment?
The silent treatment is generally used in established relationships by emotional abusers who intend to attain some level of power and control by inflicting silence and emotional suffering on their target. Ghosting can feel like the silent treatment, and it is shady behavior at best. Laura Fievet Westover.
What is the silent treatment of a narcissist?
If you have encountered a narcissist in love, work or family, then you surely have experienced the dreaded silent treatment, a tactic used by psychological abusers (including extreme narcissists) to hold power and control in their relationships.
What is an extreme narcissist?
As written about extensively in the recent wave of articles on narcissistic abuse, an extreme narcissist is an individual, male or female, who targets other people for sources of narcissistic supply (or ego fuel) to fill their empty psychological voids. Most always, an extreme (or malignant) narcissist will engage in such emotional abuse tactics as ...
What is silent treatment?
The silent treatment is simply the deliberate act of withholding one’s emotions from a partner by refusing to respond to attempted communication and refusing to initiate conversation. The silent treatment is lethal and could occur in all types of relationships.
What is the purpose of stonewalling?
It is often used as a protective mechanism during a conflict. The goal of stonewalling is to avoid uncomfortable, emotionally heated conversations.
Why is silent treatment bad?
This decreases intimacy and trust between partners, and can cause anxiety and aggressive behavior. The silent treatment may become a pattern, which hinders the ability to communicate effectively. Many people don’t realize the dangers of engaging in the silent treatment, which only adds to the problem.
What are the emotions that come with being ignored?
This may be a given, but there is a wide variety of overwhelming emotions that come with being ignored. Victims may experience depression, anger, and frustration, as well as feelings of restlessness, isolation and rejection, guilt, loneliness, and despair ― maybe even a sense of betrayal or bitterness. [2]
What happens if you are ignored?
Being ignored could cause you to behave in ways you might not normally― things like questioning and second-guessing yourself and others, lashing out, or doubting yourself and situations where you normally don’t. You might start to feel like you’re bothering the other person, or being too needy.
What happens if you don't act like yourself?
Realizing you aren’t quite acting like yourself could further feelings of guilt, loss of control, and uncertainty; since these feelings initiate a sense of threat to your survival, this may heighten any fight-or-flight reaction you may have. 5. It can destroy relationships. Often the issue here is with communication.
Is effective communication in the workplace challenging?
Effective communication in the workplace doesn’t have to be challenging, but it does have to be intentional. Knowledge can only take us so far, but once again, knowing something is very different than putting it into action.
Is it worth it to keep silence?
It’s not worth it to keep the silence. If you’re the one being ignored, do your best to find out what is wrong; do not give them the silent treatment back. If one or both of you needs space, establish that. Since, as mentioned, communication is often the issue, try to discuss and understand the situation.
Is it a strategy to ignore someone?
Ignoring someone is also not a strategy, it’s just a flat out disregard for someone else’s feelings. It might be hard to read what I have to say, based on my own experiences and some research on the various effects of the silent treatment. But I’m writing this because it’s so, so important.
