Treatment FAQ

why does my boyfriend give me the silent treatment

by Julien Rippin Published 2 years ago Updated 2 years ago
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By giving you the silent treatment, your partner wants you to know that he or she is displeased and is intent on punishing you. Stonewalling will have started when your partner cut you off in the middle of an argument. They will have refused to talk further and may even have abruptly left the room or the house.

Full Answer

Why does my husband give me silent treatment?

Sep 27, 2016 · There is a mental condition called narcissism that causes one to go into a mode of silence in order to control the outcome. The bottom line is YOU want your man to feel confident that you will keep his secrets if there is one to be revealed. You also want him to feel safe with trusting you with his truth.

How to respond when someone gives you the silent treatment?

Your boyfriend can give you the silent treatment for as long as he wants. But you can warm his heart by acting normal. Just carry on with your days as usual. Send him texts like you usually do. When he sees that you’re unbothered by his action, he’ll stop his silence. He could get angry or annoyed but at least he’ll start talking to you again.

Why are you receiving the silent treatment?

The silent treatment can happen in romantic relationships or any type of relationship, including between parents and children, friends, and co-workers. It can be a fleeting reaction to a situation...

How to deal with the silent treatment?

According to Labuzan-Lopez, your partner giving you the silent treatment isn't necessarily a sign of immaturity. But she does believe it's due to a lack of knowledge or experience in how to...

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What does silent treatment mean in a relationship?

The silent treatment, also known as stonewalling, is when one partner withdraws from a relationship and refuses to communicate. (Apr 29, 2019

Why does my boyfriend always give me the silent treatment?

The silent treatment can happen in romantic relationships or any type of relationship, including between parents and children, friends, and co-workers. It can be a fleeting reaction to a situation in which one person feels angry, frustrated, or too overwhelmed to deal with a problem.Apr 30, 2019

Is silent treatment good in a relationship?

Findings from his in-depth analysis revealed that the silent treatment is 'tremendously' damaging to a relationship. It decreases relationship satisfaction for both partners, diminishes feelings of intimacy, and reduces the capacity to communicate in a way that's healthy and meaningful.

Does silent treatment mean break up?

The silent treatment is a particularly toxic form of behavior that can lead to the breakdown of relationships. When a partner gives you the silent treatment, you might feel a crazy need to make him talk.

What to do when he's giving you the silent treatment?

How to respondName the situation. Acknowledge that someone is using the silent treatment. ... Use 'I' statements. ... Acknowledge the other person's feelings. ... Apologize for words or actions. ... Cool off and arrange a time to resolve the issue. ... Avoid unhelpful responses.Jun 8, 2020

What type of person gives the silent treatment?

Research. Researchers have found that the silent treatment is used by both men and women to terminate a partner's behaviors or words rather than to elicit them. 1 In abusive relationships, the silent treatment is used to manipulate the other person and to establish power over them.Jun 1, 2020

Why do men go silent?

Men can be silent when they're angry, happy, fearful, or sad! It's confusing for everyone. Partners, mainly women, experience huge concern, confusion and anxiety when they experience the silence and withdrawal of their partner.

Why has he gone distant all of a sudden?

It might be moving too fast for him Relationships are big commitments, and while he might be sure that he really likes you, he might feel better about it if it moves a bit slower. If the relationship is moving too fast for him, he'll start acting distant as a technique to put the brakes on things.Sep 5, 2020

What to do if your boyfriend is silent?

In case your boyfriend is giving you the silent treatment for something that you did, immediately apologise. It might not be easy if you’re someone with a big ego. But if you really love your boyfriend then you should be sorry for hurting him.

How to warm your boyfriend's heart?

Your boyfriend can give you the silent treatment for as long as he wants. But you can warm his heart by acting normal. Just carry on with your days as usual. Send him texts like you usually do.

What to do when your spouse is silent?

If it’s your spouse or partner, you both may benefit from couples counseling or individual therapy to learn better ways to manage conflicts. When the silent treatment is part of the larger issue of emotional abuse, don’t blame yourself. It’s not your fault.

How to deal with emotional abuse?

Make it about you. Ignore it. Offer solutions. Stand up for yourself. What not to do. Signs of emotional abuse. Get help. Takeaway. If you’ve ever found yourself in a situation where you couldn’t get someone to talk to you, or even acknowledge you, you’ve experienced the silent treatment.

How does being ostracized affect your self esteem?

Research shows that frequently feeling ostracized can reduce your self-esteem and sense of belonging. It can leave you feeling like you’re without control. This effect may be more intense when it’s done by someone close to you as a form of punishment. know the signs.

What to do when things escalate to emotional abuse?

When things escalate to emotional abuse, you’re not in a healthy relationship. It’s time to put yourself first. If you believe the relationship is worth salvaging: Set firm boundaries about what acceptable behavior is and how you expect to be treated.

What is silent treatment?

The silent treatment can happen in romantic relationships or any type of relationship, including between parents and children, friends, and co-workers. It can be a fleeting reaction to a situation in which one person feels angry, frustrated, or too overwhelmed to deal with a problem.

Why do people go silent?

But some people use the silent treatment as a tool for exerting power over someone or creating emotional distance.

Is silent treatment a form of emotional abuse?

Recognizing other types of emotional abuse. The silent treatment doesn’t always relate to emotional abuse. Some people lack effective communication skills or need to retreat into themselves to work things out. To emotional abusers, though, the silent treatment is a weapon of control.

How to resolve a silent behavior problem?

To resolve the issue long-term, you need to identify the reason the other person has chosen the silent treatment as their way to deal with problems. When you do that you can work to resolve the real issue because you will no longer be treating the symptom; you will be treating the disease. Overcome Passive Aggressive Behaviour.

What happens if you silently treat someone?

If the silent treatment is continuous and prolonged, you begin to wonder what is wrong with you. After all the desire to talk to others is natural so, for somebody to not want to talk to you, there must be something seriously wrong with you. When someone is giving you the silent treatment to inflict emotional pain, ...

What is silent treatment?

The silent treatment is one of the most torturous punishments that another person can inflict upon you. They use silence as their weapon of choice. By withholding their approval, they expect you to work out what is wrong and resolve the situation before they will resume talking to you.

What is the curse of the modern world?

Another curse of the modern world is that people are desperate for attention all the time. They get to see how vacuous celebrities profit from attention (good or bad) and so, if they feel that you are not giving them enough attention; they will force you to give them attention by acting in a manner which leaves you wondering what’s wrong and what you need to do to resolve the situation. Be wary if somebody is giving you the silent treatment for this reason because if they think it works, they will keep doing it.

What does it mean when someone gives you the silent treatment?

The silent treatment is a sign that communication in the relationship has broken down.

Why can't I attack my behaviour?

Nobody can attack the reasons for your behaviour because you won’t tell anyone what those reasons are. Key point. With people like this, it can help to shine a light on their behaviour in a calm manner by telling them that you know exactly what they are doing. Overcome Passive Aggressive Behaviour.

Why do I get to have my cake and eat it?

You get to have your cake and eat it because you get to be the bad guy while looking like the good guy. This is partly because we live in fake world where everybody pretends to get along all the time.

What does Labuzan Lopez believe?

Similar to the study, Labuzan-Lopez believes that it all comes down to the fact that one partner typically feels unheard, misunderstood, or that they're not a priority. Instead of voicing those concerns, they choose to "punish" their partner by witholding conversation, affection, and sometimes even sex. According to Labuzan-Lopez, your partner ...

Why do people use silent treatment?

There's actually a certain psychology behind why people use the silent treatment as a way to deal when things aren't going so well. In a study published in the Journal of Management Studies, researchers focused on how ambivalence can affect the attitudes and performances of company employees.

What happens when you don't believe in yourself?

When people don't think they're being treated fairly by their company or their partner, they start to lose their sense of self-worth. When they get to the point where they don't believe their ideas or opinions matter, that's when they go silent.

How to get rid of the silent treatment?

2. Take a break. Familiarise yourself with a time-out (opens in a new tab). It’s a really useful strategy when you’re feeling too overwhelmed to think straight.

Why do I have to take a good look at my relationship?

If your partner or spouse has been giving you the silent treatment for a month, a week or even a day, I’d like you to take a good look at your relationship because chances are you’re in a toxic relationship. Perhaps that comes as a shock, or you’ve known all along that you’re in a bad relationship.

What does it mean when your partner stops talking to you?

If your partner seems to have stopped talking to you out of the blue or after a fight, clearly the two of you are having a conflict – even if you weren’t aware that you’d done something ‘wrong’.

Is it safe to ignore your spouse?

Keep in mind…. there are no benefits of the silent treatment, though your spouse or partner may feel safer having built a wall of silence around them. you have the right to feel safe in your relationship – physically and emotionally – when your spouse ignores you, it’s hard to feel safe.

Is the silent treatment good?

No, the silent treatment is seldom a good idea. When you’re using the silent treatment, you’re attempting to manipulate and control your partner or spouse. I can understand your resorting to not responding to your partner or spouse if they continue to batter your ears over something you really don’t want to talk about.

Can you change your partner's therapy?

you are not your partner’s therapist. you cannot change your partner, and neither should you change yourself to fit in with their demands beyond reasonable compromises. ‘giving back’ the silent treatment will result in a competition detrimental to the survival of your relationship.

Is silent treatment a sign of a toxic relationship?

At worst, it can be a sign of a toxic relationship. At best, it’s an unhealthy attempt to make upset and displeasure clear and to provoke guilt and atonement. The above steps will help you to handle the silent treatment with dignity.

Why do people use the silent treatment?

People generally resort to using the silent treatment as a means of placing them in a position of control (often because they feel helpless in the face of their situations, their feelings, etc.). A person may also use the silent treatment to avoid personal responsibility for his own actions or to suppress a partner's attempts at asserting self-worth. Additionally, he may be employing the silent treatment predominantly due to a lack of ability to properly communicate. Most likely though, it's attributable to a combination of the above factors.

What is considered an emotionally abusive relationship?

In the larger sense, a relationship can be considered emotionally abusive when one person consistently—whether fully intentional or not—uses abusive, hurtful language and bullying, intimidating behaviors to break down a person's self-esteem and self-worth and undermine their mental and emotional health.

What is IPV in a relationship?

It Can Lead to Physical Violence. Domestic abuse or Intimate Partner Violence (IPV) is any form of physical or sexual assault, stalking or psychological harm, inflicted by a current or former partner. As with most types of relationship abuse, the silent treatment usually begins rather innocuously.

What is silent treatment?

The Silent Treatment Is Emotional Abuse. The silent treatment is your partner's way of telling you that you have done something wrong. As a consequence of this, he refuses to acknowledge or communicate with you. This is passive-aggressive emotional abuse.

Why is it important to have a circle of trusted friends?

More importantly, however, this gives you an outlet to communicate your experience to third parties who care about your wellbeing and will help you get an outside perspective on what is happening in your relationship.

Why is it important to have boundaries in your relationship?

Boundaries are important in just about every aspect of your life, but particularly so when it comes to interpersonal relationships.

What is the primary method of chastisement?

Although silence is the primary method of chastisement, your partner may also adopt other subtle tactics that are designed to frustrate you. Hence, you may find that he delays or refuses to complete chores, knowing that this will upset or irritate you. Alternatively, he may refuse to attend joint social events, with the full knowledge that this will cause you great inconvenience or embarrassment.

Why do people use silent treatment?

This helps to diffuse the aggression that one person is feeling. 2. You can understand your partner better. People who use the silent treatment as a method of punishing their partner can stay silent for days building a wall around them and behaving that their partner doesn’t exist. This is terrible for a relationship.

Why does silent treatment work with an ex?

Why the silent treatment works with an ex is because it gives both people time off to think about the consequences of their decision. The no contact rule after breaking up can do wonders.

Why is silence important in marriage?

Silent treatment could be beneficial and abusive too. Silent treatment in marriage is thought to be a way of punishing a partner and is akin to passive aggressive behavior. But it is not always as mean as it is made out to be.

What happens when one person falls silent?

If one person falls silent and disengages from the argument this not only helps in breaking away from the cycle of angry arguments it also helps to open a dialogue and reach a compromise. When one partner wants to resolve the situation you should readily get out of the silence and start talking about the issue.

Can hurtful words hurt a relationship?

Sometimes hurtful words can damage a relationship more than silent treatment. Because once the words are uttered it cannot be taken back. So the hurtful things being said keep building can be terrible. But if you respond to hurtful words with silence then it will help you disengage.

Is silent treatment good for long distance relationships?

While some believe that in a long-distance relationship silent treatment is even more detrimental to the mental well-being of the partners but in my view it could have a positive effect if used over a short period.

Can you use silent treatment in marriage?

Some people use silent treatment all the time and that has an adverse effect on a relationship and on your loved ones. Using silent treatment in marriage is also more common than you think. However difficult, if you use it once in a while it could be beneficial to your relationship.

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