Treatment FAQ

why do people always treat me with the silent treatment

by Prof. Jayden Johns MD Published 3 years ago Updated 2 years ago
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People generally resort to using the silent treatment as a means of placing them in a position of control (often because they feel helpless in the face of their situations, their feelings, etc.).

Sometimes, a person may give someone the silent treatment because they are too angry, hurt, or overwhelmed to speak. They may be afraid of saying something that makes the situation worse. In these cases, it can be helpful for each person to take some time to cool off before getting together to discuss the issue calmly.Jun 8, 2020

Full Answer

How to respond when someone gives you the silent treatment?

  • Never beg or plead. It might stop the silent treatment for the time being but it will most definitely come up again.
  • Do not retaliate. It just escalates things.
  • Do not apologize when it is not your mistake. ...
  • Do not undermine yourself. ...
  • Do not excuse the behavior. ...
  • Do not broadcast. ...
  • Do not build a mountain out of a molehill. ...

What is the purpose of giving someone the "silent treatment"?

Giving someone silent treatment is a form of manipulation. The silent treatment can be used to modify behavior. Being ignored has a huge effect on a person's mental state, so they're willing to do nearly anything to regain the manipulator's attention.

Does the silent treatment really work?

We now have pretty conclusive evidence from dozens of country and state studies that lockdowns were a highly ineffective way to combat the virus. Lockdowns may have saved some lives, but this response was the equivalent of trying to remove a tumor with a sledgehammer.

Why is my Friend giving me the silent treatment?

When a person gives you the silent treatment or “stonewall” on you, most of the time they are trying to let you know that something is wrong without telling you why. If you ask if anything is wrong, you are met with silence. There is no explanation, no response of any kind, only stony silence.

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What kind of person gives silent treatment?

The silent treatment can happen in romantic relationships or any type of relationship, including between parents and children, friends, and co-workers. It can be a fleeting reaction to a situation in which one person feels angry, frustrated, or too overwhelmed to deal with a problem.

Why does the silent treatment bother me so much?

The silent treatment is a particularly insidious form of abuse because it might force the victim to reconcile with the perpetrator in an effort to end the behavior, even if the victim doesn't know why they're apologizing. “It's especially controlling because it deprives both sides from weighing in,” Williams said.

Is it toxic to give someone the silent treatment?

When silence, or, rather, the refusal to engage in a conversation, is used as a control tactic to exert power in a relationship, then it becomes "the silent treatment," which is toxic, unhealthy, and abusive.

How do you beat the silent treatment?

How to Respond to the Silent Treatment#1. Dig Deep Into the Whys of the Situation. ... #2. Use the Sandwich Method. ... #3. Listen and Not Just Talk. ... #4. Do Not Try To Win the Silent Treatment. ... #5. Let Go of Your Grudge. ... #6. Be Strong. ... #7. Remember: The Recipient Doesn't Always Need To Initiate. ... #13. Think About Professional Therapy.

Is silent treatment a form of control?

Control. If someone is giving you the silent treatment in order to control your actions, they are causing silent treatment abuse. For example, the person might say they're not speaking to you until you apologize, or they won't speak to you if you go out with friends.

Is ignoring someone a form of emotional abuse?

Share on Pinterest Refusing to communicate verbally with another person can be a form of emotional abuse. People use the silent treatment for a number of reasons. These include: Avoidance: In some cases, people stay silent in a conversation because they do not know what to say or want to avoid conflict.

Is silent treatment a defense mechanism?

Being silent as a form of defence People that feel unable to communicate on an emotional level can feel safe behind a wall of silence. Instead of being present and engaged through difficulties they abandon you emotionally, physically and spiritually.

Is the silent treatment passive aggressive?

Basically, the silent treatment is a passive-aggressive behavior by which an abuser communicates some sort of negative message to the intended victim that only the perpetrator and the victim recognize through nonverbal communication.

What does it mean when someone gives you the silent treatment?

The silent treatment is a sign that communication in the relationship has broken down.

How to resolve silent treatment?

To resolve the issue long-term, you need to identify the reason the other person has chosen the silent treatment as their way to deal with problems. When you do that you can work to resolve the real issue because you will no longer be treating the symptom; you will be treating the disease.

How to resolve a silent behavior problem?

To resolve the issue long-term, you need to identify the reason the other person has chosen the silent treatment as their way to deal with problems. When you do that you can work to resolve the real issue because you will no longer be treating the symptom; you will be treating the disease. Overcome Passive Aggressive Behaviour.

What happens if you silently treat someone?

If the silent treatment is continuous and prolonged, you begin to wonder what is wrong with you. After all the desire to talk to others is natural so, for somebody to not want to talk to you, there must be something seriously wrong with you. When someone is giving you the silent treatment to inflict emotional pain, ...

What does it mean when someone doesn't want to talk to you?

When someone chooses not to talk to you and withholds their approval, they are telling you that you are not good enough as you are. Although you may have done nothing wrong, your natural inclination is to wonder what you did wrong. If the silent treatment is continuous and prolonged, you begin to wonder what is wrong with you. After all the desire to talk to others is natural so, for somebody to not want to talk to you, there must be something seriously wrong with you.

Why do people ignore pharmacists?

they give you a taste of your own medicine. However, as they are unlikely to be a pharmacist, they have no idea how to choose the right medicine. A healthy dose of communication would be far more effective.

Does silent treatment resolve issues?

Whichever is true, the silent treatment is not going to resolve the issue. Only communication can. If you have discussed your issues with the other person openly and honestly and; you feel that they are not taking you seriously, the silent treatment is unlikely to see them change.

Why is silent treatment important?

for healthy relationships. Using the silent treatment prevents people from resolving their conflicts in a helpful way. When one partner wants to talk about a problem but the other withdraws, it can cause negative emotions such as anger and distress.

What is silent treatment?

Summary. The silent treatment is a refusal to communicate verbally with another person. People who use the silent treatment may even refuse to acknowledge the presence of the other person. People use the silent treatment in many types of relationship, including romantic relationships. It can sometimes be a form of emotional abuse.

How does silent treatment affect relationships?

How it affects relationships. In most cases, using the silent treatment is not a productive way to deal with a disagreement. Research indicates that both men and women use the silent treatment in relationships. However, clear and direct communication is essential. for healthy relationships.

Why do people stay silent in a conversation?

These include: Avoidance: In some cases, people stay silent in a conversation because they do not know what to say or want to avoid conflict. Communication: A person may use the silent treatment if they do not know how to express their feelings but want their partner to know that they are upset.

Why do couples need counseling?

Couples who have difficulty communicating effectively may benefit from counseling. A therapist can help the partners express their feelings so that they can resolve conflicts in a healthy way.

How does silence end?

the silence lasts for extended periods of time. the silence only ends when they decide it does. they talk to other people but not to their partner. they seek alliances from others. they use silence to blame their partner and make them feel guilty.

What to do when someone threatens you?

If the person responds in a threatening or abusive way, it is important to remove oneself from the situation until they calm down. Talk to a doctor, therapist, or trusted friend for help.

Why do people use silent treatment?

This helps to diffuse the aggression that one person is feeling. 2. You can understand your partner better. People who use the silent treatment as a method of punishing their partner can stay silent for days building a wall around them and behaving that their partner doesn’t exist. This is terrible for a relationship.

How does silent treatment help?

She says, “The silent treatment can help revive connections that have been fairly healthy , in that it allows both partners to list out their differences and introspect. When communications are laced with more opinions and fewer facts in healthy connections, giving each other space for a while may help in rekindling the connection and setting a new equation. But this is about giving space and not shutting down on your partner. It may help bring about effective communication and has to be used carefully, being aware of the goal at all times.”

How to give silent treatment in a relationship?

The key to giving silent treatment in a relationship is to manage and balance it perfectly. While you want to disengage and let the bad feelings dissipate, you also do not want to hurt your partner in an irrevocable way.

Why did Radhika Sapru stay silent?

Radhika Sapru (name changed) discovered the benefits of silent treatment early on in her relationship with Rohit. That was the only way she could tackle her hot-tempered boyfriend who was actually a gem at heart, she felt. But when Rohit got angry there was no point trying to show him any kind of reason. Usually at times like that Radhika chose to stay silent. Sometimes on a date or even on the phone, if Rohit flew off the hook, Radhika just kept her mouth shut letting him cool down first.

What are the benefits of silent treatment?

We write 8 benefits of silent treatment. 1. Silent treatment could dissipate tension. Silent treatment could be beneficial and abusive too. Silent treatment in marriage is thought to be a way of punishing a partner and is akin to passive aggressive behavior. But it is not always as mean as it is made out to be.

How to end a relationship with a narcissist?

It would tire them out and they would want to open a dialogue. And if you want to end the relationship, then just use the silent treatment as an opportunity to move on.

Why does silent treatment work with an ex?

Why the silent treatment works with an ex is because it gives both people time off to think about the consequences of their decision. The no contact rule after breaking up can do wonders.

Why is silent treatment called the weapon of choice?

Generally, it’s called on as the weapon of choice because it’s powerful and it’s easy to get away with.

Does it matter which partner demands or which one withdraws?

It doesn’t matter which partner demands or which one withdraws, the damage to the relationship is the same. It’s the pattern itself that’s the problem, not the specific partner.

Does silent treatment damage a relationship?

Nobody engage s the silent treatment expecting it to damage the relationship, and that’s the danger.

Is mental health real?

6. Mental health is real here, depression and other thoughts are real by the the person being silent ( not being social is unhealthy medical fact).

Why is silent treatment bad?

This decreases intimacy and trust between partners, and can cause anxiety and aggressive behavior. The silent treatment may become a pattern, which hinders the ability to communicate effectively. Many people don’t realize the dangers of engaging in the silent treatment, which only adds to the problem.

How to stop being ignored?

First off, stay calm. Whether you’re doing the ignoring or being ignored, forget about anger, forget about your ego, just apologize. Have a conversation like a real adult. It’s not worth it to keep the silence.

How does ostracism affect children?

It also increases stress levels, leading to more feelings of grief, loss, misplacement , and abandonment; the victim may feel they have no control. The longer and more intense the ostracism continues, the more permanent the psychological effects, especially in children. [3]

Why is it important to warm up before a speech?

It’s better to warm up before every speech as it helps to increase the functional potential of the body as a whole. Not only that, it increases muscle efficiency, improves reaction time and your movements.

How to stop feeling thirsty?

Try to avoid sugary beverages and caffeine, since it’s a diuretic – meaning you’ll feel thirstier. It will also amplify your anxiety which prevents you from speaking smoothly.

What are the emotions that come with being ignored?

This may be a given, but there is a wide variety of overwhelming emotions that come with being ignored. Victims may experience depression, anger, and frustration, as well as feelings of restlessness, isolation and rejection, guilt, loneliness, and despair ― maybe even a sense of betrayal or bitterness. [2]

What happens when someone ignores you?

When someone ignores you, they might not realize the damage it causes ― or they do and they think it’ll make you better. Or maybe they need space but don’t bother to tell you that. They could just be avoiding a confrontation, and not realize they’ve gone about it the wrong way.

Why do people use the silent treatment?

People generally resort to using the silent treatment as a means of placing them in a position of control (often because they feel helpless in the face of their situations, their feelings, etc.). A person may also use the silent treatment to avoid personal responsibility for his own actions or to suppress a partner's attempts at asserting self-worth. Additionally, he may be employing the silent treatment predominantly due to a lack of ability to properly communicate. Most likely though, it's attributable to a combination of the above factors.

What Is the Meaning of the Silent Treatment?

If you think that your partner not speaking to you for days on end is normal, then think again. Whilst silence can be used in a productive manner—such as following a breakup or during a period of cooling off—prolonged periods of unresponsiveness within intimate relationships are not normal or healthy.

How to handle similar situations?

You can even come up with agreed-upon terms for those situations, such as 'red light for an hour'. These can work wonders when it comes to both parties feeling respected in their wishes and needs.

What does it mean when your partner is ignored?

In doing so, your partner is attempting to induce feelings of powerlessness and shame. This is known as psychological or emotional abuse.

Is it normal to be subjected to silent treatment?

Answer: It is never normal to be subjected to the silent treatment, which is a form of emotional abuse.

Is silent treatment passive or aggressive?

This is because the ' silent treatment ', also known as emotional withholding, is actually a form of passive-aggressive abuse.

Is it normal to be silent?

Answer: It is never normal to be subjected to the silent treatment, which is a form of emotional abuse. However, don't confuse this with periods of 'cooling off' or taking 'time out.'. It is perfectly natural for couples to disagree and need some time alone to reflect and gather their thoughts.

What happens when you use silent treatment?

Sometimes people think that if they use the silent treatment, the other person will change their behavior or do what the other person wants them to do.

What is silent treatment?

The silent treatment is a strategy frequently used by people who appear to possess great self-control and claim to be more rational than emotional. At the same time, it is related not only to an expression of passive violence but also to a concealed strategy of psychological abuse. That is to say, it can profoundly damage the person on ...

What does it mean to ignore someone?

Ignoring a person means that they are worth nothing, that they don’t matter. Things become even more unhealthy when all this is happening in a cruel and cold silence, which the victim doesn’t know how to interpret.

What does it mean when you activate the silent zone?

Activation in this zone means that physical symptoms also start to appear. Some very common symptoms are headaches and digestive problems. Fatigue and insomnia are also frequent complaints.

Should we allow ourselves to be ignored?

No one should passively allow themselves to be ignored by someone else, at least not without an explanation of their behavior. And no one should try to resolve a conflict using the silent treatment. When there is a problem between two people, the only healthy thing is to engage in dialogue to find solutions. Silence and distance only generate more problems and, in the end, solve absolutely nothing.

Is silence a good tactic?

As with many tactics, which are defensive and a result of insecurity, the use of this one shows very poor communication skills. Silence can be healthy when tempers are high and a pause is needed before something exacerbates the situation. However, when silence is used as a method of control or punishment, it becomes abuse.

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