Treatment FAQ

why do narcissists use the silent treatment to punish

by Darrin Marks Published 2 years ago Updated 2 years ago
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If the narcissist is triggered by you and suffers a narcissistic injury, they will often use the silent treatment to punish you for what they perceive you have done. This may or may not be something you realize you have done. It can happen in an instant, and it is almost always effective because you naturally wonder if something is wrong.

The Purpose of the Silent Treatment
Essentially, the point of the silent treatment is to make the victim feel confused, stressed, guilty, ashamed, not good enough, or unstable enough so that they would do what the manipulator wants.
Mar 12, 2020

Full Answer

What happens when you give a narcissist the silent treatment?

The narcissistic silent treatment is a form of emotional abuse that can be very damaging to your mental health. It involves the narcissist shutting you out and refusing to talk to you. They may give you the cold shoulder or act like they don’t know what you’re talking about. The narcissist’s silent treatment is a way for them to punish you and make you feel guilty.

How to shut down the narcissist during the silent treatment?

Dec 13, 2020 · Now, a narcissist can have many reasons to use the silent treatment. I will go shortly into five possible reasons, as it could possibly help you recognize what’s going on. A common reason is that they could try to punish you because you have hurt their ego, you had slight criticism, or you simply didn’t do what they expected or wanted you to do.

What happens when you ignore a narcissist who dumped you?

Apr 06, 2022 · The silent treatment is a manipulation tactic where someone will stop talking to you. This painful, uncomfortable silence can go on for days, hours, weeks, or even months in order to punish you for some perceived slight. It can cause serious emotional and psychological damage if you don’t realize what is happening.

How to get a narcissist back after narcissist discard phase?

Nov 19, 2020 · The silent treatment, a form of stonewalling, is a tool used by narcissists to punish someone who has behaved in a way they don’t like. Most people want to right wrongs and if they feel like something negative has happened in the relationship, they want to discuss it to lessen tension and to protect the relationship.

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How do you respond to a narcissist silent treatment?

Calmly tell the person that you've noticed they're not responding and you want to understand why. Emphasize that you want to resolve things. While it's not your fault that someone else decides to give you the silent treatment, you do have a responsibility to apologize if you've done something wrong.Apr 30, 2019

Do narcissists punish you by ignoring you?

Put simply, they ignore you to regain control. The narcissist uses ignoring you as a way to punish for some wrongdoing you committed. They don't feel the need to tell you what the wrongdoing was, they just jump into ignoring you as quick as possible to protect themselves from further narcissistic injury.Jul 7, 2021

How do narcissists punish their victims?

Punishment is the Narcissist's best way to train their victim to not stand up for themselves. Narcissists typically either rage, bully, justify, reject, or fly into defensiveness when a person stands up for themselves against something they've done or said (or didn't do or say).Mar 24, 2017

Why do narcissists punish you?

Anyone who triggers, usually inadvertently, their repressed insecurity (early attachment trauma), is fair game for a host of punishments. Narcissists punish for numerous reasons, and they do it without remorse believing others deserve it and would do the same to them if they were clever enough and/or given the chance.Dec 11, 2017

How do you tell when a narcissist is done with you?

For starters, narcissists are finished with you once your narcissistic supply gets stale.When they show more interest in those outsides of your relationship as they seek validation, your opinion is becoming less valuable to them.They start to devalue you.They finally ignore you for good.More items...•Mar 12, 2021

How does a narcissist react when they can't control you?

Narcissists also gaslight or practice master manipulation, weakening and destabilizing their victims; finally, they utilize positive and negative emotions or moments to trick others. When a narcissist can't control you, they'll likely feel threatened, react with anger, and they might even start threatening you.Dec 26, 2021

Do narcissists come back after silent treatment?

Yes! They most often come back after ending the relationship if there is still enough supply for them.Jun 18, 2013

What does ignoring a narcissist do to them?

If you ignore a narcissist and deny them their source, they may become enraged and try even harder for your attention – especially in ways that can be toxic or abusive. Ignoring a narcissist will enrage them because of their fragile egos. They'll feel humiliated and lash out against you to protect themselves.May 19, 2021

How do you make a narcissist miserable?

14 Ways to Make a Narcissist Miserable:Lack of Attention.Doing something they don't like.Losing.Logic and Facts.Boundaries.Critical Thinking.Spontaneous Behavior.Someone else's Success.More items...•Oct 15, 2020

How does a narcissist punish a woman?

This is often done with yelling and insults hurled at the victim. During these rages, the narcissist can be the most damaging in their words. They want the other person to know how much they are hurting and will do anything to hurt them the same way they feel hurt.Nov 12, 2020

Does a narcissist ever let go of a victim?

Whatever the reasons for starting the relationship, it will eventually end. Narcissists tire of their victims when they've exhausted their supply of care, money, or whatever else they were after. As quickly as they entered your life, they leave it, which can leave the victim incredibly confused, broken, and lost.Mar 7, 2018

What is the silent treatment used by narcissists?

A very common form of manipulation used by narcissists is the silent treatment. When a narcissist uses the silent treatment, it can be a very draining and painful experience. It’s passive-aggressive and it can be very frustrating and result in a lot of stress and anxiety.

How to deal with a narcissist?

When dealing with a narcissist, you have to trust your intuition. It can be very hard to recognize you are not the one to blame, mostly because of earlier emotional abuse or experiences. Now, you can’t change their unhealthy behaviour and you’re not responsible for the behaviour of others.

What is silent treatment?

The silent treatment is a lack of healthy communication. Now, a narcissist doesn’t care about the feelings of others and might even like to play these manipulative games. A narcissist has a lack of empathy and seeks for narcissistic supply, which could be a search for ego-boosting, appreciation, drama, or control.

Is silent treatment painful?

When having to deal with the silent treatment, it can be a very draining and painful experience. It’s manipulative behaviour and a very unhealthy form of communication. From experience, I know how challenging it is to deal with narcissists and their manipulative behaviour. It’s essential to learn to protect yourself and your energy.

What is silent treatment?

The silent treatment is a manipulation tactic where someone will stop talking to you. This painful, uncomfortable silence can go on for days, hours, weeks, or even months in order to punish you for some perceived slight. It can cause serious emotional and psychological damage if you don’t realize what is happening.

Narcissists and the Silent Treatment

Are you dealing with getting the silent treatment from a narcissist? If you are, then you already how upsetting and confusing this can be. When a narcissist is involved, it’s possible that you’re being discarded, either permanently or temporarily.

Are you being gaslighted by a narcissist?

If you’re concerned you’re being gaslighted and manipulated by someone in your life, or you already know but you could use a little validation, you might like to take our free online gaslighting test, right here.

Start Getting Help with Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Today

Did you know? Online help is readily available for survivors of narcissistic abuse. Here are some options to begin healing from narcissistic abuse right away.

How do you deal with the silent treatment of a narcissist?

Not only is it emotionally exhausting, but it makes you feel like you’re completely worthless, and it can make you feel like you’re losing your mind! So what are you supposed to do when you’re the victim of the silent treatment?

Why Do Narcissists Give You the Silent Treatment?

It’s critical to recognize that while many people have times when they need to retreat to think about things, someone who cares about you will never use this abusive tactic to punish you. The silent treatment isn’t a tactic that a healthy person would use to manipulate you.

The Psychology of the Silent Treatment

In general, silent treatment can be intentional or accidental. However, sometimes it is used as a form of social control. At other times, it may indicate that the person has no respect for your value as a person and regards you as less than human. Regardless of its intent, using silent treatment toward others can have devastating consequences.

When the Silent Treatment Ends: Beware the Hoover

One last tip: when the narcissist decides the silent treatment is over, and they need your narcissistic supply again, they will do anything in their power to “suck you back in,” a move we call “the hoover maneuver .” Don’t fall for it – it’s not going to get better, and they’re not really planning to change.

Start Getting Help with Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Today

Online help is readily available for survivors of narcissistic abuse. Here are some options to begin healing from narcissistic abuse right away.

What is silent treatment?

The silent treatment can be defined as the following: a passive-aggressive form of emotional abuse in which displeasure, disapproval, and contempt is exhibited through nonverbal gestures while maintaining verbal silence. Basically, the silent treatment is a passive-aggressive behavior by which an abuser communicates some sort ...

What is the difference between silent treatment and time out?

The silent treatment, on the other hand, is destructive, indefinite, contemptuous, unilateral, and meant to alleviate the abusers sense of responsibility and allocate all the blame onto the victim. It is a manipulation tactic.

Why do people take time out?

Instead, a time-out just allows people to gather their thoughts and calm their emotions so that they can re-approach one another in a loving and healthy manner at a later time. The time-out is meant to cause clarity and calmness, while the silent treatment results in ambiguity, confusion, and distress.

What does it mean when a parent ignores a child?

A child does something the parent disapproves of, often a very minor thing, and the parent starts ignoring them as punishment. It can involve withdrawing attention, ignoring the childs needs, stopping verbal communication, avoiding eye contact, or avoiding any engagement with the child.

Does Psych Central review?

Psych Central does not review the content that appears in our blog network (blogs.psychcentral.com) prior to publication. All opinions expressed herein are exclusively those of the author alone, and do not reflect the views of the editorial staff or management of Psych Central. Published on PsychCentral.com.

Why do narcissists use silent treatment?

For narcissists, they use the silent treatment as a form of manipulation. They’ll refuse to communicate for days, weeks, or even months. However, at no time will they explain their actions because the goal is to get you to apologize first and offer subservience to get back into their good graces. Reading Suggestions:

Why do narcissists go silent?

The Narcissist and Emotional Abuse. As such, narcissistic injuryand going silent go hand in hand; when the narcissist’s ego is threatened by criticism, they will go silent until the person that criticized them shows contrition and goes back to boost their ego.

How long does silence last for a narcissist?

If it originated from a minor strike against their ego, the silence may only last a few hours – just long enough for you to see how awful it can feel when the narcissist stops communicating with you.

What does the Bible say about narcissists?

Well, the bible does speak about people like “narcissists” in 2 Timothy chapter 3. Paul refers to them as “lovers of themselves.”. Paul then goes on to say to turn away from such people! A good, moral, decent person would be wise to turn away from a wicked, manipulative narcissist and false accuser. Reply.

Why do narcissists use silent treatment?

Silent treatment can be initiated to show you that you do not matter, to gain compliance, or to punish you for doing something wrong in the relationship.

What does it mean when a narcissist is silent?

Silent treatment can also mean the Narcissist is otherwise preoccupied and is choosing to intentionally ignore you. If you don’t reach out it will probably frustrate and confuse your narcissist. However if you reach out too persistently or ask too many questions then be prepared to continue to be ignored.

How long does silent treatment last?

Like me if you to be the narcissist’s friend who refuses to reach out, the silent treatment will last at least 2 weeks. Quora User. , Dog daycare attendant, vet physiology ast, vet tech.

Is a narcissist a psychopath?

Remember, all psychopaths and sociopaths are narcissists, but not all narcissists are sociopaths or psychopaths.

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