A youngster or teenager who uses the silent treatment does so as a way to shut parents out – and push their emotional buttons. The silent treatment also gives the youngster a feeling of power and control over the parents. And the more parents make an issue of this form of emotional abuse, the more the youngster uses this strategy.
Why do some parents give their children the silent treatment?
Parents find the silent treatment as a way of gaining control by not speaking to their children, making them feel guilty. But guilt is not the only feeling that overpowers children who receive the silent treatment. A massive wave of frustration and rejection washes over the child, not letting them escape the circle of harsh silent.
How does the silent treatment affect the victim?
Using the silent treatment is emotional abuse that can affect the victim as any other form of abuse. The silent treatment can be a traumatic experience for children of all ages, mostly when it is coming from parents. Children think they can trust their parents to stand by them, even when they make mistakes or fail.
Is the silent treatment a form of emotional abuse?
Parents need to realize the silent treatment is not an insignificant subject, it is a real issue. In some cases, the abuser is not conscious of the damage they are causing the victim, by simply not being aware the silent treatment is a form of emotional abuse. Abuse is not always physical, it can be verbal or in this case, emotional.
What does it mean when your boyfriend gives you the silent treatment?
The silent treatment can happen in romantic relationships or any type of relationship, including between parents and children, friends, and co-workers. It can be a fleeting reaction to a situation in which one person feels angry, frustrated, or too overwhelmed to deal with a problem.
What do you do when a teenager gives you the silent treatment?
How silent is the silent treatment?Don't lecture her or tell her how hurt you feel.Try to have positive interactions with her.Engage her in activities you've enjoyed doing together.Sit down to meals with her.Don't pump her for information.More items...
What do you do when your teenage son won't talk to you?
What to do:Set appropriate limits, but focus on strengthening your relationship, too. You'll get no respect if he doesn't feel connected to you.Resist the urge to lecture. If you can do that, he won't need to push you away in order to become himself.Remember that teenagers can be emotional.
How do you respond to silent treatment?
How to respondName the situation. Acknowledge that someone is using the silent treatment. ... Use 'I' statements. ... Acknowledge the other person's feelings. ... Apologize for words or actions. ... Cool off and arrange a time to resolve the issue. ... Avoid unhelpful responses.
How do you deal with a defiant and disrespectful teenager?
Today's blog offers 10 strategies for the weary parent to handle a defiant teenager:Tie Privileges to Good Behavior. ... Avoid Repetition. ... Enforce Consequences. ... Have a Plan. ... Praise Good Behavior. ... Teach Problem Solving. ... Focus on One Behavior. ... Pick your Battles.More items...•
Why do sons ignore their mothers?
According to the adult children surveyed, the most common reasons they estranged from their parents are: Emotional abuse. Conflicting expectations regarding family roles. Differences in values.
What do you do when your child cuts you out of their life?
Ideas for coping when your adult child cuts you out of their life.Allow yourself to grieve – – this is a shocking loss.Don't try to pretend all is well, but along with (or after) crying, being angry, etc., begin to take action toward making yourself (your feelings) and your life (how you spend your time) better.More items...•
What type of person gives the silent treatment?
The silent treatment can happen in romantic relationships or any type of relationship, including between parents and children, friends, and co-workers. It can be a fleeting reaction to a situation in which one person feels angry, frustrated, or too overwhelmed to deal with a problem.
Is the silent treatment immature?
At best the silent treatment isan immature behavior used by spoiled brats and manipulativeindividuals. At worst, it is a weapon used by abusers to punish their victims. One demographic of the population that particularly loves the silent treatment is the narcissist.
What is the psychology behind the silent treatment?
The silent treatment is a particularly insidious form of abuse because it might force the victim to reconcile with the perpetrator in an effort to end the behavior, even if the victim doesn't know why they're apologizing. “It's especially controlling because it deprives both sides from weighing in,” Williams said.
How do you get your teenager to respect you?
How to earn your teen's respectStep 1: Be their supporter. ... Step 2: Show them the way. ... Step 3: Treat your teen with respect. ... Step 4: Set boundaries. ... Step 5: Give them responsibilities. ... Step 6: Be a good listener. ... Step 7: Communicate cheerfully. ... Step 8: Respect their privacy.More items...
How do I deal with a selfish son?
To mend your child's selfish behaviour, here is what you can do.Get to the Root. Start by getting to the crux of the problem, i.e. finding out the reason for your child's selfishness. ... Practice No Tolerance Policy. ... Teach Empathy. ... Point Out Selflessness. ... Set Limitations. ... Be a Role Model. ... Reward Your Child.
Why is my teenage son so defiant?
Defiant teenagers often push against or away from people because they are hurting, feeling insecure, or scared of something. In teenagers, defiance often comes from a place of powerlessness and a feeling of not being seen and heard by the world around them.
Why do teens use silent treatment?
A youngster or teenager who uses the silent treatment does so as a way to shut parents out – and push their emotional buttons. The silent treatment also gives the youngster a feeling of power and control over the parents. And the more parents make an issue of this form of emotional abuse, the more the youngster uses this strategy.
How to deal with a child who is mad?
1. Don’t fall into the “reaction trap.” Many parents take the silent treatment personally; they feel powerless as a parent and react with anger and threats. This is exactly what your child wants. When you get mad and lose it, your child wins – and he/she knows it. Also he/she will kick-up the silent treatment to a whole new level now that it has been reinforced by your over-reaction.
What is silent treatment?
The silent treatment can happen in romantic relationships or any type of relationship, including between parents and children, friends, and co-workers. It can be a fleeting reaction to a situation in which one person feels angry, frustrated, or too overwhelmed to deal with a problem.
Why do people go silent?
But some people use the silent treatment as a tool for exerting power over someone or creating emotional distance.
What to do when your spouse is silent?
If it’s your spouse or partner, you both may benefit from couples counseling or individual therapy to learn better ways to manage conflicts. When the silent treatment is part of the larger issue of emotional abuse, don’t blame yourself. It’s not your fault.
How to deal with emotional abuse?
Make it about you. Ignore it. Offer solutions. Stand up for yourself. What not to do. Signs of emotional abuse. Get help. Takeaway. If you’ve ever found yourself in a situation where you couldn’t get someone to talk to you, or even acknowledge you, you’ve experienced the silent treatment.
What to do when things escalate to emotional abuse?
When things escalate to emotional abuse, you’re not in a healthy relationship. It’s time to put yourself first. If you believe the relationship is worth salvaging: Set firm boundaries about what acceptable behavior is and how you expect to be treated.
Is silent treatment a good way to communicate?
While it’s not always malicious, the silent treatment certainly isn’t a healthy way to communicate. If the silent treatment looms large in your life, there are steps you can take to improve your relationship or remove yourself from an abusive situation. Last medically reviewed on April 30, 2019.
Is silent treatment always meant to inflict wounds?
The silent treatment isn’t always meant to inflict wounds. Sometimes, it’s an isolated incident that gets out of hand. You can let it slide until they come around and move on.
How to get kids to open up faster?
Another way to encourage children to open up faster is to take away privileges until they speak. You can take away their phone or video games until they stop using the silent treatment . On the other hand, you can ask them to stay in their room until they’re ready to talk.
Can you force your child to speak?
You can’t force your children to speak. You need to be available and wait for them to want to talk about the problem. We recommend keeping calm while tackling the problem.
When Your Parents Give You The Silent Treatment
I’m an aspiring therapist, and some of the younger clients report being emotionally dismissed by their parents. They appreciate the things that their parents do for them, such as paying the bills, working full time, providing them with a house, food, and shelter, but also often report feeling invalidated.
The Stark Reality
In some families, the silent treatment can be a surprising and unfortunate reality. Perhaps your parents do it from time to time, especially when there’s already a skewed power differential, where you have to follow the things that your parents say because it’s their rules and their house.
Children Internalize The Pain
Developing children are willing to keep the vitriol inside because they’re so worried about seeing the silent treatment ever again. That’s how profoundly sad they were — they hated it so much that they were willing to accept the pain of the situation, even if it was hard for them to process.
When Facing Silent Treatment
Seeing parents turning their backs, some children may learn to become too self-reliant and even push them away — even when the parents eventually parade them with hugs, kisses, and presents.
Final Thoughts
Even if you are at fault, just remember that you were a child and that you had no way of knowing that your parents were going to be this way with you. It did place a huge emotional burden on you, but at least you learned to keep your distance and somehow survived the situation, all in one piece.
Why do parents believe in silent treatment?
Parents believe the silent treatment is a peaceable way of punishment since no verbal or physical abuse is exchanged. What parents do not realize is the harm they can cause in their children’s mind.
What is silent treatment?
The silent treatment is often thought of as a harmless way of punishing a disobedient child by parents. In several families, parents believe the silent treatment is one of the best ways of punishing their children. But as said by the psychotherapist Richard Zwolinski, “The silent treatment is an abusive method of control, punishment, avoidance, ...
How does silent punishment affect a person?
A silent punishment can affect a person emotionally as much as verbal abuse can. Psychologists consider the silent treatment a form of mental and psychological abuse. It affects the victim mentally, often making them feel unwanted and insignificant. As the silent treatment is being used, forced upon the victim, ...
What happens when a parent overuses the silent punishment method?
They do not feel comfortable sharing with them. When the parent has overused the silent punishment method, the parental bond can be broken beyond repair.
Why should silent treatment not be used as a punishment?
The silent treatment should not be used as a punishment because it affects children emotionally and strains the relationship and trust between parent and child. Photo: Cristian V. / Flickr. Author. Karime Salas.
What is the silent treatment for narcissism?
Most of the time, the silent tactic works, “Often, the result of the silent treatment is exactly what the person with narcissism wishes to create: a reaction from the target and a sense of control”. More importantly, the victim ends up stuck to the ground, insecure and fearing their own actions.The silent treatment is associated with anxiety ...
What is the best way to solve a problem?
Civilized people talk problems out, listening to both parties and coming to an understanding and solution is the best way to solve problems. Using the silent treatment is emotional abuse that can affect the victim as any other form of abuse.
Why do parents give their children the silent treatment?
There are two main reasons why a parent would give their child/adult child the silent treatment: their parent is a narcissist or they are emotionally immature. The narcissistic parent likes to be in control at all times. They do not like it when you attempt to assert a bound ary, say no, or try to have your own mind and do things your own way.
What does it mean when a parent says "silent treatment"?
A parent will usually inflict the silent treatment as a response to: You confront them about an issue. You ask them to take responsibility. You try to assert a boundary or say ‘No’ to them. You do something they don’t want you to do or they think you shouldn’t do. You don’t do something they think you should do.
Why is silent treatment different from other treatment?
Silent treatment is different for a few reasons. The toxic parent doesn’t tell you that’s what they are doing, they just disappear. They are choosing not to communicate with you entirely, which means they have no intention of cooling off for a short period of time and continue talking later and resolving the issue.
What does it mean when someone is emotionally immature?
Emotionally immature people struggle to express their feelings in a healthy way or look inwards which means they blame their negative feelings on others instead of taking responsibility for their actions or how they feel.
What happens when a child is silently treated?
Children and adult children that have experienced the silent treatment from their parent will often be desperate for love, affection, attention and validation and they will search for it from others, often leading to dangerous situations and other toxic relationships.
How to deal with toxic parents?
Set healthy boundaries with them, which might mean distancing yourself and spending less time with them. Keep the relationship at a casual level.
What is silent treatment?
Remember that silent treatment is emotional abuse and a manipulation tactic to get you to change, and prevent you from growing and setting healthy boundaries. Do not allow yourself to be manipulated and abused. Don’t beg them to speak to you or promise to change.
