Treatment FAQ

when two depressed people in a relationship and one refuses treatment

by Lauryn Kovacek Published 2 years ago Updated 2 years ago
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Full Answer

Can two people with depression have a relationship?

I suppose two people with depression can have a relationship, I guess it depends on each person, their expectations and the interaction of their conditions. I can see it would be very frustrating if one partner refused treatment, I think there has to be some commitment to improve things.

How to live with a depressed person in a relationship?

How Living with a Depressed Person Can Impact Your Relationship 1 Understand the disorder. Take time to find out what depression is and is not. 2 Keep in mind that he can't "snap out of it." Remember that the other person has a real illness. 3 Ask about his feelings and his childhood programming. 4 Admit your own powerlessness against...

Why might a person refuse to accept mental health treatment?

A person may refuse to accept mental health treatment for many reasons, including: He may believe it indicates he is a failure. It may make him feel more vulnerable. He may be concerned about paying for treatment.

Can depression erode the Romance of your relationship?

To rekindle the romance, we’ve outlined five classic symptoms of depression that erode a relationship. Plus, we asked therapists for their best strategies to help you and your partner survive depression together. 1. Your sex drive tanks.

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What do you do if someone refuses mental health treatment?

If the person refuses to follow the treatment plan, he/she can be sent to jail. Mental health courts have been shown to be very effective in keeping people on medication, and in reducing rehospitalizations, incarcerations, and violent behavior.

Can depression make you want to leave a relationship?

Depression makes you want to withdraw into your own island of despair. You might be ashamed you can't pull yourself out of the funk. Or if you don't have the energy to connect with your partner, you might drop out until you feel better. “There's an emotional checkout with depression,” Paz says.

How do you get someone to go to therapy when they refuse them?

Explain specific areas of problematic behavior. Most people who refuse therapy may claim that they don't have a problem. By pointing out specific problems without coming off as judgmental, you can help them see the need for seeking professional help.

Do people with depression destroy relationships?

Anxiety and depression destroy relationships because they create a problem-causing cycle among two people trying to be together meaningfully. Both depression and anxiety can zap that meaning and replace it with misgivings. This creates relationship dissatisfaction, which in turn can exacerbate mental health struggles.

When should you quit a relationship?

15 signs you should leave your relationshipToxic Relationship. ... Foundation is shaken. ... Past coincide with present and future. ... Feeling devalued. ... Physical love is replaced by physical abuse. ... Unnecessary expectations. ... You justify your actions. ... There's abuse involved.More items...•

How do you break up with someone who is emotionally unstable?

How To Sensitively Break Up With Someone Who's Living With A Mental IllnessTreat your partner's illness the way you'd treat any kind of illness. ... Choose a relatively stable time and place to break up. ... Do your best to understand their condition. ... Use compassion and empathy. ... After the breakup, take a step back.

How do you get out of a relationship with a mentally ill person?

Catchings suggests being “kind, empathetic, and firm.” You want to follow the general rules of breaking up without being a jerk: be completely open and honest, do it in person (don't you dare think about doing it over text message), listen to what they have to say, and don't give them mixed signals after the breakup.

How do you help someone who doesn't want to be helped?

What to do when they don't want helpListen and validate. If your relationship is iffy, it doesn't hurt to just listen. ... Ask questions. Ask your loved one what they want! ... Resist the urge to fix or give advice. ... Explore options together. ... Take care of yourself and find your own support.

What do you do when your partner refuses to get help?

What to do if Your Spouse Refuses to Seek HelpBe Gentle and Kind. Your approach to the situation will have a huge impact on how it plays out. ... Address Potential Underlying Factors. ... Try to Attend Counseling Together. ... Attend Online Counseling. ... Encourage In Whatever Ways You Can. ... Take Care Of Yourself.

What depression does to your love life?

That's because depression is more than just feeling sad or having a bad day- it's a serious mental illness that can take a toll on your health and relationships. Unfortunately, depression can cause overwhelming loneliness and detachment which can hinder any relationship.

How does depression affect your love life?

Depression is the top cause of disability in the U.S. for people aged 15-44. Men and women struggle equally with sexual problems during depression. People with chronic depression can experience a loss of desire, take longer to orgasm, and simply find sex less enjoyable.

Can depression lead to cheating?

People suffering from depression may behave in ways that others might not understand. They may take a passive stance towards life and not want to get out of bed or lose interest in activities they once enjoyed. They may even engage in self-destructive behaviors like cheating on a spouse or significant other.

What Depression in a Relationship or Marriage Looks Like

When one spouse is depressed, it takes a toll on the entire marriage or relationship. This is because depression affects every aspect of the marriage or relationship, from finances to household responsibilities, and to emotional and sexual intimacy.

How to Deal With a Depressed Spouse

It is understandable you want to help your partner, but the first you need to do is help yourself. Here are five things to keep in mind as you cope with the depression of a spouse or partner.

When Your Partner Pushes You Away

Most people are not skilled enough to understand how they can truly help someone who is depressed. It is not even harder if your loved one refuses help and pushes you away.

Decide How Much You Can Handle

If you are staying with a partner who has become angry and abusive, are you helping or hurting?

The Bottom Line

Depression in a relationship can take a toll on even the best relationships. But when you have committed for better or worse, the last thing you want to do is give up on the person you love most.

How to help someone who is depressed?

Continuing on the theme that the best way to help a depressed person is to help them believe in themselves, there are numerous other things you can do, besides encouraging them to seek help, which can help them to overcome their depression. The simplest, deepest, and best thing that you can do is to show them that you love and appreciate them, through both your actions and words. Depressed people often feel trapped in loneliness and a sense of worthlessness; it is a lot harder to feel worthless when people are telling you and showing you that they appreciate you. By checking in on someone, inviting them to do things, eating with them, and telling them the things that you appreciate about them, you can make it a little easier for that person to overcome depression. Remember, though, that in the end, their responsibility for their own health and happiness lies with them alone, and yours with you.

What are the characteristics of depression?

One of the core defining features of depression is that a depressed person has both a negative self-image and often, a negative image of the world , which can include other people. A depressed person does not believe in themselves and their own abilities, and often, may seem to hold or act out a negative view of other people around them. When a person seems irritable or mistrustful, it can be helpful to make a note that the person's actions are more a result of their overwhelming negative mood, and not any deeper qualities.

What to do if counseling fails?

If counseling fails, at least you can walk away knowing you gave it your best shot. Finally, if you’ve tried everything and your relationship seems hopeless, or worse — toxic — it may really be time to walk away. Try to make your partner understand that you still care.

How to walk away from a relationship without guilt?

Remind your partner to continue with his or her treatment. If you’ve made the effort to improve your relationship, and see to your partner’s health, but things still aren’t working out, you can walk away without guilt. You deserve a chance at happiness, too.

What to do if someone is dragging you down?

This may mean anything from taking a brief respite, to a permanent parting of ways. In any event, take time to weigh your options carefully before making any decisions that you will have to live with permanently.

Can you walk away from a depressed person?

Sometime depressed people may use drugs or alcohol. If this is the case, walking away may be your only choice. Your children’s emotional well-being and physical safety must be your first priority. It may be necessary to take a hard look at these and other practical considerations before you say goodbye and walk away.

Can you sever ties with a depressed spouse?

If you feel you simply can’t go on, it may be time to sever ties. But walking away may be easier than it sounds, especially if you’re in a marriage.

Can you be the one who makes your partner decide whether or not they want to live or die?

You cannot be the one who makes your partner decide whether or not they want to live or die . That is up to them. Attempting to “save” your partner by staying with them can only make the relationship more dysfunctional and could ultimately result in you resenting them.

Can you be accused of abandoning a loved one?

No one wants to be accused of abandoning a loved one at their time of greatest need. But neither should you remain in a strained relationship with no conceivable future out of a sense of duty or guilt. Sometimes there’s nothing more you can do but say goodbye — for the sake of your own mental health. Before it comes to that, for your own sake and ...

What happens when a depressed spouse refuses help?

When a Depressed Spouse Refuses Help. Having a depressed spouse and parent in the family creates a difficult problem. The parents are supposed to be the leaders, the example setters, the encouragers both to each other and to their children. When one of the adults has big mental health problems, this changes the balance and affects everyone.

How to help a depressed spouse?

Here are some ways to work around this. 1. Go to a counseling appointment together, say that them going will help you feel better (take the direct focus off them) 2. If your spouse has some physical ailments, go with them to their doctor.

What happens when your spouse is in a deep hole?

This could be health problems, job issues, financial responsibilities that have gone badly, fallouts with friends of family, etc. These circumstances leave them depressed and not functioning well.

How to get your spouse to help you?

If your spouse has some physical ailments, go with them to their doctor. Send a letter or make a call ahead of time saying that your spouse is depressed and you need to get them some help. Bribe your spouse with dinner out or doing something they like, whatever it takes to get them to go.

How to help someone with depression?

Encourage them to be physically active. Even though this isn’t a formal depression therapy, exercise is proven to lift a person’s mood and help with depression recovery. 4. Have empathy for their situation but don’t blindly go along with all their negative comments and beliefs.

Can a depressed spouse be in prison?

This isn’t pretty, but it is a problem many people with depressed spouses or partners face. Depression and other personality traits can trap a person in their own prison. Outside influence seems to have little effect on them coming out. It’s frustrating and can be even depressing for the healthy spouse.

Does depression affect your spouse?

No matter how your spouse is responding to your urges to get help, you need to take care of yourself. Being with a depressed spouse increases your own chances of developing depression. Depression isn’t “catchy” like a cold.

What does it mean when you are depressed?

People who are depressed usually having difficulty concentrating and making decisions. People who are depressed often suffer random aches and pains. People who are depressed often abuse alcohol or drugs (prescription or otherwise) in an attempt to self-medicate.

Can you snap out of depression?

No one can simply snap out of major depression. Major depression is not always disabling, but it is not something that a depressed person can simply wish away. Most people who have depression do not cause harm to themselves or to others.

Can depressed people be irritated?

The DSM-5, the diagnostic manual for mental conditions, recognizes that younger adults, children, and adolescents may also be irritated, but anecdotes suggest that this is true for older depressed people as well.

Is depression a common condition?

Depression is, however, both a debilitating condition and a shockingly common one. Friends and family can be helpful in supporting depressed people, but often aren't. This article suggests some basics for being truly helpful to a friend or family member who is depressed.

What are the symptoms of depression?

It’s a collection of symptoms, including irritability, fatigue, difficulty concentrating, changes in appetite or sleep patterns, feelings of worthlessness or helplessness, a loss of enjoyment in your usual activities, and sometimes suicidal thoughts.

How long does it take to get depression?

If you experience five or more symptoms for at least two weeks , you could have clinical depression, also known as major depression. It’s a serious condition you should have evaluated by a doctor or mental-health professional immediately, for the sake of your own well-being and your relationship.

What to do when your desire evaporates?

What you can do: Explain that it really is you, not him. And that while your desire has evaporated, it’s not a reflection of your feelings for him. If your doctor recommends antidepressants, ask if you can take medication that will alleviate symptoms without dulling your sex drive even more.

What can your partner do for you?

What your partner can do for you: Convey support, not criticism. Suggesting that you jump in the shower because it’s been a while since you touched soap and water: criticism. Preparing a soothing bath filled with your favorite scented oils and offering to wash your hair: supportive.

What to do when your mood is affecting your behavior?

What you can do: Acknowledge that your mood is affecting your behavior. And give him permission to remove himself from the fight , says Bonior. “Some couples work out a script in advance so they have a plan to extricate themselves from arising conflicts.”.

What happens when your mood plummets?

When your mood plummets, it usually takes libido with it, says Paz. Since sex is often the glue that bonds couples, and your guy doesn't get why you haven't been intimate lately, he may think you’re not attracted to him or don’t love him anymore. What you can do: Explain that it really is you, not him.

Can a devoted partner get cabin fever?

While that may be all you can manage, eventually even the most devoted partner will get cabin fever and resent your diminishing social life. “Part of depression is being turned off to things you used to be enthusiastic about,” Bonior says. Giving up hobbies and not keeping up with friendships hurts relationships.

What happens if you are depressed in a relationship?

The depressed person in your life may be ill, but you still have needs of him. All relationships are based on the mutual meeting of needs. If you aren't honest about what you're getting from the relationship, or what you want to get, you will make the other person feel even worse about himself.

How to deal with depression?

The rules are: Understand the disorder. Take time to find out what depression is and is not. So many popular misunderstandings about the illness and so much denial about its origins exist. Keep in mind that he can't "snap out of it.". Remember that the other person has a real illness.

How to avoid guilt over depression?

The first stage to avoiding guilt over someone else's depression is to acknowledge that you are not responsible for it. It's not your fault, and you alone can't cure it. You can offer support, you can show friendship or love, whichever is appropriate, but you are probably too close to be able to solve the problem.

What to do if you are an unrelenting pessimist?

If the person is an unrelenting pessimist, as so many people with depression are, try to point out the positive things that are happening. His negative childhood programming--the "inner saboteur"--will probably prevent him from seeing these for himself.

Can depression be self-medicated?

Many sufferers from depression deny that they have the disorder or try to self-medicate with alcohol (as my mother did) or overwork or shopping--all of which are depressives in the long run. Part of your self-preservation is getting the depressed person in your life to seek professional help.

Can a person be depressed if they are honest?

If they're honest they will complain of the pain the illness causes, if they're less than frank they'll withdraw or blame you for their depressed state. You may well feel you're in a lose-lose situation.

Can you cure depression alone?

Above all remember that even the worst depression is curable, even if you alone can't cure it.

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