Treatment FAQ

when given the silent treatment

by Jamison Bogisich Published 3 years ago Updated 2 years ago
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Sometimes, a person may give someone the silent treatment because they are too angry, hurt, or overwhelmed to speak. They may be afraid of saying something that makes the situation worse. In these cases, it can be helpful for each person to take some time to cool off before getting together to discuss the issue calmly.

Communication: A person may use the silent treatment if they do not know how to express their feelings but want their partner to know that they are upset. Punishment: If a person uses silence to punish someone or to exert control or power over them, this is a form of emotional abuse.Jun 8, 2020

Full Answer

How to respond when someone gives you the silent treatment?

Jun 08, 2020 · Sometimes, a person may give someone the silent treatment because they are too angry, hurt, or overwhelmed to speak. They may be afraid of …

What happens when you give a narcissist the silent treatment?

Jul 11, 2016 · The silent treatment is emotional abuse. When a victim is in a relationship with a person who causes the above mentioned distress, her mind and body remember how upsettingand anxiety provoking ...

Why are you receiving the silent treatment?

Jun 05, 2018 · The silent treatment can work if you’ve stopped dating someone who keeps bothering you. However, I hope you’ll first have told that person kindly but firmly you don’t see a future in the relationship and have decided to break up. The only other time the silent treatment might be needed is if you’re dealing with an abusive ex.

Why do narcissists use the silent treatment?

Jun 14, 2017 · When you are given the silent treatment, you are either unaware of what you are supposed to have done, or the matter is so trivial that you …

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What does it mean when someone uses the silent treatment?

People who use the silent treatment may even refuse to acknowledge the presence of the other person. People use the silent treatment in many types of relationship, including romantic relationships. It can sometimes be a form of emotional abuse. This is the case when one person uses it to control and manipulate the other.

What is silent treatment?

Summary. The silent treatment is a refusal to communicate verbally with another person. People who use the silent treatment may even refuse to acknowledge the presence of the other person. People use the silent treatment in many types of relationship, including romantic relationships. It can sometimes be a form of emotional abuse.

Why do people stay silent in a conversation?

These include: Avoidance: In some cases, people stay silent in a conversation because they do not know what to say or want to avoid conflict. Communication: A person may use the silent treatment if they do not know how to express their feelings but want their partner to know that they are upset.

How does silent treatment affect relationships?

How it affects relationships. In most cases, using the silent treatment is not a productive way to deal with a disagreement. Research indicates that both men and women use the silent treatment in relationships. However, clear and direct communication is essential. for healthy relationships.

Is silent treatment a productive way to deal with disagreement?

In most cases, using the silent treatment is not a productive way to deal with a disagreement. Research indicates that both men and women use the silent treatment in relationships. However, clear and direct communication is essential. for healthy relationships.

Why is silent treatment important?

for healthy relationships. Using the silent treatment prevents people from resolving their conflicts in a helpful way. When one partner wants to talk about a problem but the other withdraws, it can cause negative emotions such as anger and distress.

What happens when you talk to your partner about a problem?

When one partner wants to talk about a problem but the other withdraws, it can cause negative emotions such as anger and distress. According to a 2012 study, people who regularly feel ignored also report lower levels of self-esteem, belonging, and meaning in their lives.

What is silent treatment?

The silent treatment is emotional abuse. When a victim is in a relationship with a person who causes the above mentioned distress, her mind and body remember how upsettingand anxiety provoking theprevioussilent treatment occurrences were.

Why is silent treatment not blatant?

The only person who really feels the silent treatment is the target. The person giving the silent treatment is not being overtly aggressive, abusive, or unkind in any visible way. This keeps himlooking “good” and reasonable.

Is the silent treatment good?

No, the silent treatment is seldom a good idea. When you’re using the silent treatment, you’re attempting to manipulate and control your partner or spouse. I can understand your resorting to not responding to your partner or spouse if they continue to batter your ears over something you really don’t want to talk about.

Is silent treatment a sign of a toxic relationship?

At worst, it can be a sign of a toxic relationship. At best, it’s an unhealthy attempt to make upset and displeasure clear and to provoke guilt and atonement. The above steps will help you to handle the silent treatment with dignity.

Is silence therapy good for a spouse?

there are no benefits of the silent treatment, though your spouse or partner may feel safer having built a wall of silence around them. you have the right to feel safe in your relationship – physically and emotionally – when your spouse ignores you, it’s hard to feel safe. you are not your partner’s therapist.

What is silent treatment?

The Silent Treatment Is Emotional Abuse. The silent treatment is your partner's way of telling you that you have done something wrong. As a consequence of this, he refuses to acknowledge or communicate with you. This is passive-aggressive emotional abuse.

Why do people use the silent treatment?

People generally resort to using the silent treatment as a means of placing them in a position of control (often because they feel helpless in the face of their situations, their feelings, etc.). A person may also use the silent treatment to avoid personal responsibility for his own actions or to suppress a partner's attempts at asserting self-worth. Additionally, he may be employing the silent treatment predominantly due to a lack of ability to properly communicate. Most likely though, it's attributable to a combination of the above factors.

Is silent treatment a form of abuse?

Answer: Yes, the silent treatment is a type of emotional abuse. Also, him referring to you as being, 'mentally ill,' is another form of abuse, commonly referred to as 'gaslighting.'. The latter can have serious implications for your emotional well-being. Remember, it is perfectly natural for couples to argue.

Is refusing to speak to someone without terms for repair a healthy activity?

As Schulman notes, 'Refusing to speak to someone without terms for repair is a strange, childish act of destruction in which nothing can be won'. Taking time out of a relationship can be a healthy activity, if done in the correct way and with the correct intent. You do it to save the relationship and not jeopardise it.

Is it a control move to ignore someone?

Ignoring Someone Is a Control Move. People generally resort to using the silent treatment as a means of placing them in a position of control (often because they feel helpless in the face of their situations, their feelings, etc.).

What is silent treatment?

The silent treatment is a way to inflict pain without visible bruising – literally. Research has shown that the act of ignoring or excluding activates the same area of the brain that is activated by physical pain.

Why is silent treatment called the weapon of choice?

Generally, it’s called on as the weapon of choice because it’s powerful and it’s easy to get away with.

Does ignoring or excluding activate the same area of the brain that is activated by physical pain?

Research has shown that the act of ignoring or excluding activates the same area of the brain that is activated by physical pain. The best predictor of divorce isn’t whether a couple fights – arguments are inevitable – but how a couple fights. The key to being closer in the good times lies in the way a couple treats each other during the bad.

Is silence a dignified response?

Silence can feel like a dignified, high road response but it’s not. It’s a way to inflict pain but without the physical marks. Being noticed is so close to being loved, that sometimes they feel the same. Being ignored is just as powerful.

Does ostracism matter if you can't stand?

The ability to detect ostracism is hardwired in us – it doesn’t matter if you’re being ignored by a group or a person you can’t stand, the pain still registers. The silent treatment, even if it’s brief, activates the anterior cingulate cortex – the part of the brain that detects physical pain.

What is silent treatment?

The silent treatment is a passive-aggressive tactic people use in relationships when they want to punish or wound you. Either they can’t or won’t communicate their feelings maturely, so they clam up and leaving wondering what’s going on.

Why do people use silence?

Silence may be golden sometimes, but it can also be a weapon. People use it to punish, control, manipulate, disempower, or run away from a person or problem. People who use silent treatment to manipulate often have the following characteristics: They never learned to express themselves assertively or maturely.

Why is silence used to manipulate people?

They know that silence is an effective way to manipulate someone, perhaps because they’ve been victims of emotional abuse themselves. If you know someone who displays these characteristics, and that person gives you the silent treatment on a regular basis, know that you are not powerless against them.

How to deal with a silent friend?

Keep your cool and recognize that your silent friend or partner is trying to speak volumes but just can’t manage the words. Maintain your dignity and try these six strategies. 1. Look for the reasons behind the silent treatment. People who give the silent treatment aren’t always doing it out of malice.

Do serial abusers care about you?

On the other hand, serial emotional abusers don’t care if they hurt you with their silent treatment.

Do emotional abusers care about silence?

They may also be afraid of how you might react knowing how they really feel or think. On the other hand, serial emotional abusers don’t care if they hurt you with their silent treatment. They only care about the power silence gives them. The power to compel you to do what they want.

What to do when your partner has punished you with silence?

During a calm period after your partner has punished you with silence, give him or her some information about silent treatment abuse. Discuss the effects of silent treatment on trust and intimacy in your relationship.

What is silent treatment?

Silent treatment is a form of emotional abuse. It’s a control tactic used to confuse the victim and cause anxiety. It is a form of manipulation and it hurts to be on the receiving end.

Is silent treatment a defensive tactic?

The silent treatment isn’t always meant to hurt you. Sometimes, it’s a defensive mechanism or they simply don’t know how to respond yet. While other times it is a passive-aggressive tactic to hold control over you. “In these cases, what they want is for you to feel bad enough to make the first move.

Why do people go silent?

Sakurai collected the most common reasons from clients, support group members, and online surveys, to why people choose to go silent. These include: 1 They have been victims of emotional abuse themselves and see silent treatment as revenge. 2 They are narcissistic by nature. 3 They are not good at expressing themselves. 4 To punish the other person. 5 To control the other person / manipulate the situation. 6 To inflict emotional pain. 7 They feel they weren’t taken seriously, so communication just seems pointless. 8 Feeling too overwhelmed to talk about or deal with the issue. 9 Afraid of their temper. 10 Afraid of how the other person will react to what they have to say. 11 Hoping time will make the problem go away. 12 To inflict the pain they were put through.

How to stop someone from being angry?

respond in anger, which can just escalate things. beg or plead, which only encourages the behavior. apologize just to put an end to it, even though you did nothing wrong. continuing to try reasoning with the other person after you’ve already given it a shot.

Why do people use the silent treatment?

People who use the silent treatment to win arguments and gain control need to understand the magnitude of their immature behavior. Confrontation lets them know that you see what they are doing and you understand the tactics they use. After telling them the truth, you can laugh about it.

Can you go to therapy for silent treatment?

If you are experiencing the silent treatment from someone you love, then therapy may be the only answer. This only works if your partner is willing to go to therapy in order to move forward. Unfortunately, so many people like using the silent treatment and don’t want a therapist taking that weapon away.

How to win silent treatment?

1. Shrugging it off. One way to understand how to win the silent treatment is to brush it off or ignore it. If you aren’t necessarily in a close relationship with the person who is giving you the silent treatment, you may be able to just move on and act like nothing happened.

What is selfish treatment?

The selfish. People who haven’t been taught to care effectively for others in a household will use the silent treatment on a regular basis. Selfish people care for themselves over others and when something doesn’t go their way, they ignore others to make a statement.

What happens when you are stuck in victim mentality?

So, when they are confronted with something they are doing wrong, they will grow silent and attempt to force their way.

What is silent treatment?

Psychologists consider the narcissistic silent treatment a form of abuse. It’s a popular form of mental torture used by narcissistic individuals, whereby they cut their victims off by not talking to them for extended periods of time.

Is silent treatment a form of abuse?

In fact, this need can be so strong, it can override the needs of food and safety. Psychologists consider the narcissistic silent treatment a form of abuse. It’s a popular form of mental torture used by narcissistic individuals, whereby they cut their victims off by not talking to them for extended periods of time.

What is the need to belong and feel accepted?

According to Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, the need to belong and feel accepted falls under the basic needs of food, water, and safety. In fact, this need can be so strong, it can override the needs of food and safety. Psychologists consider the narcissistic silent treatment a form of abuse.

Why do narcissists use silent treatment?

Narcissists use the silent treatment as a tool for exerting power over someone or creating emotional distance.

What happens when a narcissist uses the silent treatment against you?

When a narcissist uses the silent treatment against you, he or she is playing an emotional game of chicken with your mind. You will be tempted to reach out and speak first. When you do, the narcissist will have considered your reconciliation action a form of “ flinching.”. In their gamebook, they win, and you lose.

Do you need to justify yourself to a narcissist?

You don’t need to justify yourself to the narcissist. But, that’s the game they are going to play with you. It’s all about making you doubt yourself and your perceptions.

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