Namely the fact that the no contact rule should only used after a breakup to “outgrow your ex.” The silent treatment occurs when one romantic partner refuses to communicate with the other partner but there’s usually no defined end to it.
Full Answer
What is the difference between break up and Silent Treatment?
Apr 07, 2021 · There is always a part of you – the shadow self – that wants your ex to feel hurt when they miss your presence. You want your ex to feel the pain they’ve put you through and you hope the no contact rule will accomplish that. The same goes for your ex – if they’re being silent towards you after the breakup they want you to feel pain ...
What is the silent treatment in a divorce?
Jan 06, 2022 · But I do think there is a difference between a strategy like no contact and the silent treatment. Namely the fact that the no contact rule should only used after a breakup to “outgrow your ex.” The silent treatment occurs when one romantic partner refuses to communicate with the other partner but there’s usually no defined end to it.
Is the silent treatment a good way to get over an ex?
Jan 01, 2016 · 1. The silent treatment says a lot without saying anything. My Dad once told me, “Sometimes it’s better to say nothing and just remain in a dignified silence.” And he’s right. When you give someone the silent treatment, you are telling them that you have no more words to say to them – you’ve said them all. 2.
What does it mean when you give someone the silent treatment?
Show that the silent treatment is no way to get what they want from you. 4. Offer solutions. Suggest a face-to-face meeting to hammer out some rules for better communication in …
Is silent treatment the end of a relationship?
Researchers have found that the silent treatment is used by both men and women to terminate a partner's behaviors or words rather than to elicit them. 1 In abusive relationships, the silent treatment is used to manipulate the other person and to establish power over them.Jun 1, 2020
Should you break up with someone who gives you silent treatment?
Emphasize that you want to resolve things. While it's not your fault that someone else decides to give you the silent treatment, you do have a responsibility to apologize if you've done something wrong. If they don't seem receptive, tell them you understand they may need some time alone.Apr 30, 2019
Does silence mean breakup?
Bottom line? Staying silent after a breakup, as hard as it can be, is the only way to let yourself reflect and recover from heartache. On the other hand, if you're the one that ended the relationship, it's only fair for you to cut off all contact with the person you hurt.Nov 16, 2021
How long does silent treatment last?
If the perpetrator still refuses to acknowledge the victim's existence for long periods of time, it might be right to leave the relationship. In the end, whether it lasts four hours or four decades, the silent treatment says more about the person doing it than it does about the person receiving it.Mar 26, 2021
Why is silence the best revenge?
Silence speaks volumes Believe it, the silence and zero reaction really bothers your ex, and they consider it as the best served revenge. Nothing creates more curiosity than silence. Your ex would expect a vent or an angry rant from you, but don't give in. If you do, you are meeting their expectations.Sep 9, 2019
How do you win the silent treatment?
Maintain your dignity and try these six strategies.Look for the reasons behind the silent treatment. ... Share the psychology behind silent treatment. ... Avoid reacting to silent abuse. ... Respond with calmness and speak kindly. ... State your boundaries clearly. ... Take care of yourself. ... Consider professional therapy.Apr 26, 2021
How do I know if my breakup is final?
9 Ways to Tell if Your Breakup Will LastIt doesn't hurt … much. ... There's physical distance. ... Your friends don't like your ex. ... There's someone new in the picture. ... You've done "on-again, off-again" before. ... You're good at impulse-control. ... You tolerate negative emotions well. ... You have good boundaries.More items...•Jan 2, 2017
Why do men go silent after breakup?
"When men are giving silent treatment after a breakup," says Hypnotherapist Keya Murthy, "they are dealing with the hurt on their own. This is their way of letting the other know 'I need a time out so I can heal. '"Aug 10, 2021
How do you break a silence in a long distance relationship?
6 Ways to Respond to the Silent TreatmentTake some time to cool off.Give your partner space to think.Don't apologize unless you're truly sorry.Apologize if you're truly sorry.Ask yourself whether it's just a personality difference.Set rules for healthy communication.Feb 5, 2022
What does it mean when your ex is silent?
In other words, an ex who is not in love with you anymore is just going to ignore you and cut you out of their life completely. Now, this might make you think that if your ex is silent after the breakup, they’re definitely trying to get over you.
What to do after a breakup?
One of our most popular strategies after a breakup is the no-contact rule . The no contact rule is where you are ignoring your ex for a period of time with the intent of outgrowing them and usually, if you do this properly it can make them miss you. Then you get back in touch with them and begin the process of reconciliation.
Is there a no contact rule after a breakup?
Effectiveness Of The No Contact Rule After A Breakup. Most people see the no contact rule as this strategy to make your ex miss you but over the years we’ve evolved the intended purpose of the no contact rule according to what works in real life. Going into a no-contact rule with the intent to make your ex miss you often fails.
What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?
Further adding fuel to the avoidant fire is the fact that they process the breakup at a different rate than you do.
What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?
Sometimes men will utilize the silent treatment to simply see your reaction.
What is silent treatment?
The silent treatment can happen in romantic relationships or any type of relationship, including between parents and children, friends, and co-workers. It can be a fleeting reaction to a situation in which one person feels angry, frustrated, or too overwhelmed to deal with a problem.
What to do when your spouse is silent?
If it’s your spouse or partner, you both may benefit from couples counseling or individual therapy to learn better ways to manage conflicts. When the silent treatment is part of the larger issue of emotional abuse, don’t blame yourself. It’s not your fault.
How to deal with emotional abuse?
Make it about you. Ignore it. Offer solutions. Stand up for yourself. What not to do. Signs of emotional abuse. Get help. Takeaway. If you’ve ever found yourself in a situation where you couldn’t get someone to talk to you, or even acknowledge you, you’ve experienced the silent treatment.
How does being ostracized affect your self esteem?
Research shows that frequently feeling ostracized can reduce your self-esteem and sense of belonging. It can leave you feeling like you’re without control. This effect may be more intense when it’s done by someone close to you as a form of punishment. know the signs.
What to do when things escalate to emotional abuse?
When things escalate to emotional abuse, you’re not in a healthy relationship. It’s time to put yourself first. If you believe the relationship is worth salvaging: Set firm boundaries about what acceptable behavior is and how you expect to be treated.
Why do people go silent?
But some people use the silent treatment as a tool for exerting power over someone or creating emotional distance.
Is silent treatment a good way to communicate?
While it’s not always malicious, the silent treatment certainly isn’t a healthy way to communicate. If the silent treatment looms large in your life, there are steps you can take to improve your relationship or remove yourself from an abusive situation. Last medically reviewed on April 30, 2019.
What happens if you choose to break up with your ex?
If you chose to initiate the breakup, it might be too hard for your ex to speak to you right now. As, without the silent treatment , it just feels too like you’re back together which could be heart-breaking for him . Even if he chose the breakup, he might want to avoid talking to you as he misses you but knows you shouldn’t be together.
Does it mean your ex isn't suffering?
Just because he chose to break up with you, it doesn’t mean that your ex isn’t suffering too. As, although he doesn’t think you’ll both work as a couple or that it’s the right time for you both to be together, he will still have some feelings for you.
Does it matter if you choose the breakup?
It doesn’t matter if you choose the breakup or it was yours when it comes to the end of a relationship, sometimes it easier to have a fresh start. However, this isn’t always as easy as you might believe, as one of you always takes the choice to send over a text – normally after a few drinks.
Is silent treatment a pleasant experience?
Although you might know why men give the silent treatment, it doesn’t mean it’s a pleasant experience. However, it doesn’t need to be the end of the world, especially if you employ a few coping mechanisms to help you through what could be considered a very upsetting time in your life.
High5girl
You are asking alot of questions that ppl including yourself won't have the answers to. I will say this tho, take his silence as your answer.
dazedconfused6
And yes, some ppl break up with you without telling you. It's happened to me twice. It really sucks too, b/c it doesn't help with the closure.
CrazyBeautifu
It sounds like a break up to me. and High5Girl is right dont send him anymore texts, your just waisting your breath on it. I say let it go, show that you dont care and just move on.
High5girl
Yes, I dated these 2 men for awhile. One was for 3 yrs. And another was for about a year. Intimate with both and loved by both. (Supposedly)
HouseKitten
I know how you feel, I didn't fall in love with this guy but I met him and we had a really great time together, he was really keen and sending me messages every day, then one night we go out and the next day for some reason, everything switched off. Haven't heard from him since.
dazedconfused6
Thanks. It's just that Im not like most people. I dont date people like sardines or patato chips. I dont just say "NEXT" and move on to whomever comes my way. Thats why i never go on blind dates.
caro33
I just wrote on your other thread and came here to read the history. I just wanted to say that this stuff happens, and it happens because people are weak, they don't always know what they want, they change their minds, and they can also be scared off. What happened with you could be any of these things.
Why is silent treatment called the weapon of choice?
Generally, it’s called on as the weapon of choice because it’s powerful and it’s easy to get away with.
Why is it so hard to break a pattern?
It’s an incredibly hard pattern to break because both partners lay the blame at the feet of the other. ‘Partners get locked in this pattern, largely because they each see the other as the cause,’ explains Schrodt. ‘Both partners see the other as the problem.’.
How many participants did Paul Schrodt study?
Paul Schrodt, PhD, Professor of Communication Studies reviewed 74 relationship studies which involved more than 14,000 participants. Findings from his in-depth analysis revealed that the silent treatment is ‘tremendously’ damaging to a relationship.
Is silence a dignified response?
Silence can feel like a dignified, high road response but it’s not. It’s a way to inflict pain but without the physical marks. Being noticed is so close to being loved, that sometimes they feel the same. Being ignored is just as powerful.
1 Stop Contact
The silent treatment is a particularly toxic form of behavior that can lead to the breakdown of relationships. When a partner gives you the silent treatment, you might feel a crazy need to make him talk.
2 Ask Questions
If you still have unanswered questions as to why you were given the silent treatment, you have a right to ask -- especially if it was unexpected, says evolutionary epistemologist Jeremy Sherman in the "Psychology Today" article, "The Silent Treatment: When People Leave You Guessing." Don't make the mistake of continuing to contact someone in the hopes that he will speak to you again, but do state your case.
3 Care for Yourself
Being given the silent treatment can leave you feeling lonely, anxious and scared. You might blame yourself or feel as though you did something wrong to cause your partner's reaction. The solution to this problem, is to take responsibility for your own feelings and take care of yourself, writes Paul.
4 Manage Anger
As tempting as it is to become angry and resentful of your partner, try to minimize those feelings, writes Paul. Once you become stronger in your belief that you deserve to be treated well, it will be easier to have compassion for a partner who might be hurting inside.
Why do we need silence after a breakup?
Even if you decide not to get back together, using silence after a breakup helps you to maintain a cordial relationship with an ex. Or at least, view them in a positive light, allowing you to look back at your relationship without grudges or malice. The real power of silence after a break up is that it sets you free from your fears, ...
What is the power of no contact and silent treatment?
The power of no contact and silent treatment is that it gives you time to reflect. You can free yourself from the ‘ I want him back ’ or ‘How do I win her over again?’ obsession.
What happens if you silence your ex after a breakup?
Once you have established positive communication using silence after a breakup, the likelihood of your ex rethinking their decision is very high. Your absence, and then strategic presence, is bound to make them see you in a new light.
How long does the No Contact Rule last?
The No Contact Rule must remain in effect for at least 30 days. However, it’s totally up to you to extend it for as long as you need to heal. And even forever.
Why do I talk to my ex after a breakup?
When you start talking to an ex immediately after a breakup, it is usually for two reasons – to let them know how distraught you are and convince them to get back together or to show how unaffected you are. Either way, it makes you look desperate and weak.
When you talk to someone, do you withdraw?
At this point, you must withdraw communication for some time. When talking to someone – even if they’re your ex – feels good, people tend to keep going back for more. Withdrawing communication for some time. The more you talk, the more old issues and complaints start coming up.
Who said silence is the best revenge after a breakup?
Is Silence The Best Revenge After A Breakup? To drive home the importance of silence after a breakup, let us lead with one of the most popular quotes on the power of silence by writer Elbert Hubbard, “He who does not understand your silence will probably not understand your words.”.
