Treatment FAQ

what will happen when i give my girlfriend the silent treatment

by Ms. Keely Dare Published 3 years ago Updated 2 years ago
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When this happens, it becomes a control tactic that is emotionally abusive. People who use the silent treatment as a way to gain power or exert control in a relationship will: Use the silent treatment to put you in your place

In general, the silent treatment is a manipulation tactic that can leave important issues in a relationship unresolved. It also can leave the partner on the receiving end feeling worthless, unloved, hurt, confused, frustrated, angry, and unimportant.Jun 1, 2020

Full Answer

Is it OK to give your partner the silent treatment?

Not a word is said, and the silent treatment goes on until well into the next day. Your texts go unanswered, and it isn’t until dinner that your partner finally starts to speak again. Silence can sometimes be better than conversation, especially if you and your partner need to take a break from an argument and just cool off.

What does it mean when your boyfriend gives you the silent treatment?

The silent treatment can happen in romantic relationships or any type of relationship, including between parents and children, friends, and co-workers. It can be a fleeting reaction to a situation in which one person feels angry, frustrated, or too overwhelmed to deal with a problem.

Why do people give the silent treatment?

People who use the silent treatment as a means of control want to put you in your place. They’ll give you the cold shoulder for days or weeks on end to achieve those goals. This is emotional abuse. It’s difficult to live that way, so you might be tempted to do everything you can to get back in their good graces, which perpetuates the cycle.

Do you feel the silent treatment when someone dumps on You?

I don’t feel it a silent treatment when a person who has a casual relationship to your life decides to verbally dump on you. They are having a bad day, someone else hurt their feelings, they are feeling annoyed because they just are.

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Does silent treatment work on girlfriend?

Findings from his in-depth analysis revealed that the silent treatment is 'tremendously' damaging to a relationship. It decreases relationship satisfaction for both partners, diminishes feelings of intimacy, and reduces the capacity to communicate in a way that's healthy and meaningful.

How do I give my girlfriend the silent treatment?

Tell the person how you're feeling. Instead of giving into the silent treatment, let the person know how his or her action made you feel. Stick to "I" statements instead of "you" statements, as that focuses on how you feel rather than putting blame on the person.

Is it OK to give someone the silent treatment?

While sometimes the silent treatment is just a short-term way to cool down, it's when it's used as a deliberate strategy to inflict pain and control that it's a problem. That treatment is never okay to use. In fact, it is unhelpful for anything other than a very brief period.

What are the effects of silent treatment?

Experiencing the silent treatment denies basic human social and relationship needs. The silent treatment has been known to end romantic relationships, alienate friends, and negatively impact child development. When children experience the silent treatment from parents or caregivers, the effects can be devastating.

Is silent treatment a break up?

The silent treatment is a particularly toxic form of behavior that can lead to the breakdown of relationships. When a partner gives you the silent treatment, you might feel a crazy need to make him talk.

Is silence the best revenge?

Silence speaks volumes The best revenge is no reaction. Believe it, the silence and zero reaction really bothers your ex, and they consider it as the best served revenge. Nothing creates more curiosity than silence. Your ex would expect a vent or an angry rant from you, but don't give in.

How long should silent treatment last?

If the perpetrator still refuses to acknowledge the victim's existence for long periods of time, it might be right to leave the relationship. In the end, whether it lasts four hours or four decades, the silent treatment says more about the person doing it than it does about the person receiving it.

Is silence good in a relationship?

Moments of silence shared with significant others shouldn't come from a place of tension; it's more about spending quality time together and simply appreciating each other's presence. Moving past "the silent treatment" will do wonders for your relationship.

Why is my boyfriend giving me the silent treatment?

The silent treatment can happen in romantic relationships or any type of relationship, including between parents and children, friends, and co-workers. It can be a fleeting reaction to a situation in which one person feels angry, frustrated, or too overwhelmed to deal with a problem.

Why is silence so powerful?

Being silent allows us to channel our energies. It gives us the clarity we need to calmly face challenges and uncertainty. The hour of silence I practice each morning, and encourage you to practice as well, can be a time for collecting our thoughts, training our minds, and deciding how we want to enter into the day.

What does silent treatment do to a man?

In general, the silent treatment is a manipulation tactic that can leave important issues in a relationship unresolved. It also can leave the partner on the receiving end feeling worthless, unloved, hurt, confused, frustrated, angry, and unimportant.

Is silent treatment a red flag?

The Silent Treatment is Your S.O.'s Main Conflict Technique If you're in a relationship, conflicts and arguments come with the territory. Managing these conflicts and working through them together are a necessary part of developing a healthy relationship, which makes the silent treatment a huge red flag.

How to avoid silent treatment?

Require you to apologize or give in to demands just so they will talk to you. Refuse to acknowledge you until you grovel and plead. Use silence as a passive-aggressive way to control your behavior (e.g., you give in to demands or you avoid certain behaviors to avoid the silent treatment)

Why do people use silent treatment?

Research. Researchers have found that the silent treatment is used by both men and women to terminate a partner's behaviors or words rather than to elicit them. 1  In abusive relationships, the silent treatment is used to manipulate the other person and to establish power over them.

What happens when silence is used?

When this happens, it becomes a control tactic that is emotionally abusive.

Why is a victim silent?

There are also instances when a victim of abuse is silent as a way to stay safe and keep an already abusive situation from escalating. In these situations, the victim knows that saying something—even if their partner demands it—will only escalate the situation and lead to more abuse.

How to avoid taking responsibility for bad behavior?

Use the silent treatment to put you in your place. Give you the cold shoulder for days or weeks at a time. Refuse to talk, make eye contact, answer calls, or respond to texts. Fall back on the silent treatment when things don't go their way. Use it as a way to avoid taking responsibility for bad behavior.

Why does a demanding partner become silent?

In demand-withdraw interactions, the demanding partner feels shut out and that their emotional needs are not being met while the withdrawing partner becomes silent due to hurt feelings and an unwillingness or inability to talk about them.

How to resolve a relationship issue?

To resolve the issue, both partners need to take responsibility for their behavior and try to empathize with their partner.

Why do people use the silent treatment?

People generally resort to using the silent treatment as a means of placing them in a position of control (often because they feel helpless in the face of their situations, their feelings, etc.). A person may also use the silent treatment to avoid personal responsibility for his own actions or to suppress a partner's attempts at asserting self-worth. Additionally, he may be employing the silent treatment predominantly due to a lack of ability to properly communicate. Most likely though, it's attributable to a combination of the above factors.

What Is the Meaning of the Silent Treatment?

If you think that your partner not speaking to you for days on end is normal, then think again. Whilst silence can be used in a productive manner—such as following a breakup or during a period of cooling off—prolonged periods of unresponsiveness within intimate relationships are not normal or healthy.

How to handle similar situations?

You can even come up with agreed-upon terms for those situations, such as 'red light for an hour'. These can work wonders when it comes to both parties feeling respected in their wishes and needs.

What does it mean when your partner is ignored?

In doing so, your partner is attempting to induce feelings of powerlessness and shame. This is known as psychological or emotional abuse.

Is silent treatment a form of abuse?

Answer: Yes, the silent treatment is a type of emotional abuse. Also, him referring to you as being, 'mentally ill,' is another form of abuse, commonly referred to as 'gaslighting.'. The latter can have serious implications for your emotional well-being. Remember, it is perfectly natural for couples to argue.

Is it normal to be subjected to silent treatment?

Answer: It is never normal to be subjected to the silent treatment, which is a form of emotional abuse.

Is silent treatment passive or aggressive?

This is because the ' silent treatment ', also known as emotional withholding, is actually a form of passive-aggressive abuse.

What happens if you continue the silent treatment?

If you still continue the silent treatment, the narcissist may finally abandon you and move on with new narcissistic supply and new victims.

What happens when you give silent treatment to a narcissist?

What happens in the initial days. When you start to give the silent treatment to the narcissist, the narcissist immediately finds it offending and hurting. As narcissists can’t tolerate being ignored, the act of silent treatment strikes the narcissist much harder than the normal people. As you start with the silent treatment, ...

What more can you expect from the Narcissist?

However there are a few more things, you must embrace yourself if you are thinking to give a narcissist the silent treatment .

What is the silent treatment?

The silent treatment is the no1 weapon used by narcissists during which the narcissist acts as if you are non-existent and even refuses to communicate, even if you tried doing so. So, what happens when this silent-treatment is reversed?

How long does it take for a narcissist to come back to you?

Unable to feel being ignored, his inflated ego starts hitting him harder and harder. So, after giving silent treatment for a few weeks , the narcissist will likely come back to you. He may start chasing you so that he can get back his narcissistic supply like before.

Why does a narcissist block you?

The Narcissist may even block you on all his social media accounts and try to act extra friendlier with others, so that he can get more eyeballs from you. His routine bragging and show-off start to begin, just to show you that he is the most valuable person and prove that you are missing a great treasure ignoring him.

Why do we call it the attention grabbing phase?

Firstly, why we call it the attention-grabbing phase? This is because the narcissist starts to do everything, just to grab your attention and make you come back to him.

What to do if your partner gives you the silent treatment?

To sum up, if your partner gives you the silent treatment more than you feel is reasonable, look inward at how much support you provide for your partner’s self-worth. Both you and your partner need to feel this deep sense of value to have a fulfilling relationship that lasts over time.

What does it mean when you are treated unfairly?

In relationships, as in the workplace, this means that if you’re treated unfairly, you’ll use the passive-aggressive state of silence in an effort to defend your sense of self in a way that is less risky than speaking out about the unfairness. You can’t get in trouble, so this reasoning goes, for what you don’t say.

Is silence better than conversation?

Silence can sometimes be better than conversation, especially if you and your partner need to take a break from an argument and just cool off. When one partner refuses to speak, however, the silence can seem unbearable, especially if it continues. In the dirty dishes scenario, it would seem like your partner is resorting to silence as a way ...

My girlfriend constantly gives me the silent treatment

DEAR DEIDRE: WHENEVER we have a disagreement, my girlfriend decides to give me the silent treatment.

Deidre helped me realise there was alternatives to suicide - thank you

DEIDRE SAYS: Your girlfriend sounds immature. The silent treatment is a passive-aggressive tactic people use in relationships when they want to punish or wound you, but it is emotional abuse.

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