Treatment FAQ

what we say when we say nothing silent treatment

by Kayla Grant Published 2 years ago Updated 2 years ago
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The silent treatment is when one person in a relationship ignores the other person, refusing to acknowledge them verbally or through any other method. This usually happens after an argument, but it can also happen when the silent partner is angry, and the other person doesn't know why. Being on the receiving end is painful and frustrating.

Full Answer

Is the silent treatment ever a good idea?

6 Ways to Respond to the Silent Treatment 1. Take some time to cool off. 2. Give your partner space to think. 3. Don't apologize unless you're truly sorry. 4. Apologize if you're truly sorry. 5. Ask yourself whether it's just a personality difference. 6. Set rules for healthy communication. Changing Your Approach to the Relationship

How do you respond to a silent treatment?

Sep 06, 2018 · 1. Shrugging it off. One way to understand how to win the silent treatment is to brush it off or ignore it. If you aren’t necessarily in a close relationship with the person who is giving you the silent treatment, you may be able to just move on and act like nothing happened.

How to win the silent treatment in a relationship?

Urban dictionary defines the silent treatment as, “when someone refuses to speak to you, just to be mean, even though you ALREADY apologized and meant it.”. People often use the silent treatment as a form of control to get somebody to do what they want, or because they have limiting thoughts, thinking this makes them appear powerful when it makes them look like a …

What happens when a man gives you the silent treatment?

Aug 30, 2008 · Silence can be very ‘potent’. By saying nothing at all, you leave your audience in a most awkward quandary for each is left to divine what the heck it is you mean by your ‘stinking’ silence. Call me crazy, but I just ain’t a good diviner sometimes. Silence could mean pretty much anything. Here’s a few ideas. Silence could meant that..

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What can I say instead of the silent treatment?

synonyms for silent treatmentblackballing.cold shoulder.ignore someone.ignoring.ostracism.ostracization.sending to Coventry.

How do you respond to silent treatment over text?

The best way to respond to the silent treatment include: Create Space. ... Create Boundaries. ... Respect Yourself and Others.

What does the silent treatment do to someone?

Findings from his in-depth analysis revealed that the silent treatment is 'tremendously' damaging to a relationship. It decreases relationship satisfaction for both partners, diminishes feelings of intimacy, and reduces the capacity to communicate in a way that's healthy and meaningful.

How do you respond to silent treatment or stonewalling?

“Communicate about the silent treatment, stating what you observe by using 'I' statements,” Gordon says. For example, “I notice you're shutting down and not responding to me.” Then use more 'I' statements (because those don't place blame on the other person) to explain how their silence makes you feel.Dec 7, 2021

Does silent treatment mean break up?

The silent treatment is a particularly toxic form of behavior that can lead to the breakdown of relationships. When a partner gives you the silent treatment, you might feel a crazy need to make him talk.

How do you break a silent text?

Here are my 18 best tips to avoid awkward silence:Ask open-ended questions. ... Stop seeing silence as your fault. ... Give more than bare minimum answers. ... Talk about feelings and opinions instead of facts. ... Go back to a previous topic. ... See it as a sign to end the conversation. ... Lower your standards for what to say.More items...

What type of person gives the silent treatment?

Research. Researchers have found that the silent treatment is used by both men and women to terminate a partner's behaviors or words rather than to elicit them. 1 In abusive relationships, the silent treatment is used to manipulate the other person and to establish power over them.Jun 1, 2020

When a man is silent?

Being silent prevents this sense of loss of our masculinity. The male feels he cannot win or might not get heard. We might feel we have less vocabulary, or that we might lose the argument. We might get angry and do something we should not do.

What kind of person gives silent treatment?

The silent treatment can happen in romantic relationships or any type of relationship, including between parents and children, friends, and co-workers. It can be a fleeting reaction to a situation in which one person feels angry, frustrated, or too overwhelmed to deal with a problem.Apr 30, 2019

How do you win the silent treatment?

Maintain your dignity and try these six strategies.Look for the reasons behind the silent treatment. ... Share the psychology behind silent treatment. ... Avoid reacting to silent abuse. ... Respond with calmness and speak kindly. ... State your boundaries clearly. ... Take care of yourself. ... Consider professional therapy.Apr 26, 2021

Why do men go silent?

Men get quiet for all kinds of reasons. They may have no clue what's bothering them or they may be wrestling with depression, fears of intimacy, or worries about the future. Don't act like you're the problem until he tells you that you are. Don't assume that you know him better than he knows himself.May 16, 2018

How long does silent treatment last?

If the perpetrator still refuses to acknowledge the victim's existence for long periods of time, it might be right to leave the relationship. In the end, whether it lasts four hours or four decades, the silent treatment says more about the person doing it than it does about the person receiving it.Mar 26, 2021

What does it mean when your partner stops talking to you?

If your partner seems to have stopped talking to you out of the blue or after a fight, clearly the two of you are having a conflict – even if you weren’t aware that you’d done something ‘wrong’.

Is the silent treatment good?

No, the silent treatment is seldom a good idea. When you’re using the silent treatment, you’re attempting to manipulate and control your partner or spouse. I can understand your resorting to not responding to your partner or spouse if they continue to batter your ears over something you really don’t want to talk about.

Can you change your partner?

you are not your partner’s therapist. you cannot change your partner, and neither should you change yourself to fit in with their demands beyond reasonable compromises.

What is silent treatment?

The silent treatment is when one person in a relationship ignores the other person, refusing to acknowledge them verbally or through any other method. This usually happens after an argument, but it can also happen when the silent partner is angry and the other person doesn't know why. Being on the receiving end is painful and frustrating.

How to respond to silent treatment?

Here are some ways to respond to the silent treatment. 1. Take Time to Cool Off. During a time of silence both partners should pause to reflect on what led up to the silent treatment episode, especially if it was preceded by an argument, fight, or emotional outburst.

How to control your partner?

Changing Your Approach to the Relationship 1 Remind yourself that your partner feels uncertain and out of control. 2 Do not resort to sulking, pouting, or badgering. Try to maintain a calm attitude if you can. Take a walk to get a breath of air. 3 Consider whether you too might be trying to control the relationship more than your partner is comfortable with.

Why do introverts need more time?

Introverts need more time to process their emotions, especially when things get intense or they feel that they've been attacked or insulted in some way. If this is the case for you, tell your partner that you'll give them a certain amount of time to themselves and that you'll be back after the time is up to talk.

Why do I need to take care of myself during silent treatment?

Since the silent treatment is a way for your partner to gain control, you need to take care of yourself so their behavior doesn't leave you feeling humiliated and rejected.

What does it mean when your partner is silent?

In some cases, the silent partner is attempting to escape another toxic dynamic. If you are trying to force them to change or do things your way, you're giving them a reason to withdraw. If you criticize them as a person or assigning blame instead of focusing on finding solutions, you're contributing to the dynamic. If you let yourself feel like a victim, get depressed, or pout, you must recognize that you've been engaging in control tactics, too, and pledge to stop.

How to deal with a silent spouse?

Give Your Partner Space to Think. Avoid trying to figure out what your silent partner or spouse is thinking. You're not a mind-reader. The silent treatment is a passive-aggressive form of communication. If you do their thinking for them, they won't learn how to be direct when sharing their thoughts and feelings.

What is silent treatment?

Silent treatment is a flat-out refusal to ever discuss the issue —now or later. In other words, their silence deflects the conversation and communicates that the issue is off-limits. When this happens, the person on the receiving end of the silent treatment must continue to wrestle with their pain and disappointment alone.

Why do people use silent treatment?

Research. Researchers have found that the silent treatment is used by both men and women to terminate a partner's behaviors or words rather than to elicit them. 1  In abusive relationships, the silent treatment is used to manipulate the other person and to establish power over them.

How to get rid of a cold shoulder?

Give you the cold shoulder for days or weeks at a time. Refuse to talk, make eye contact, answer calls, or respond to texts. Fall back on the silent treatment when things don't go their way. Use it as a way to avoid taking responsibility for bad behavior. Punish you with the silent treatment when you upset them.

What to do if your partner is silent?

If your partner is unwilling to change, you may want to consider your options including breaking off the relationship at some point.

How to use silence?

Use silence as a passive-aggressive way to control your behavior (e.g., you give in to demands or you avoid certain behaviors to avoid the silent treatment) Silence you when you attempt to assert yourself by refusing to talk. Use it as the primary means of dealing with conflict.

Is it good to be silent?

Sometimes remaining silent can be a positive thing, especially if it keeps people from saying things they might later regret. Other times, silence is an unhealthy reaction to something upsetting, but, with time, the silence subsides and the couple is able to work out some sort of resolution.

Is it acceptable to be silent in a relationship?

There are times in relationships when being silent is acceptable and even productive. For instance, a couple, or even just one partner, may take a thoughtful timeout from a heated argument to cool off or gather their thoughts. What distinguishes this silence from the silent treatment is that the timeout is mindful and there is an assumption or agreement that they will revisit the topic again later.

What is silent treatment?

The silent treatment is a passive-aggressive tactic people use in relationships when they want to punish or wound you. Either they can’t or won’t communicate their feelings maturely, so they clam up and leaving wondering what’s going on.

Why do people give silent treatment?

Look for the reasons behind the silent treatment. People who give the silent treatment aren’t always doing it out of malice. They may have trouble expressing themselves, especially when it comes to negative emotions like anger and grief.

How to be a mature person?

6. Take care of yourself. 1 Stop beating yourself up. 2 Stop berating yourself for not being a mind reader. 3 Stop thinking it’s your responsibility to help an immature person mature.

Why do people use silence?

Silence may be golden sometimes, but it can also be a weapon. People use it to punish, control, manipulate, disempower, or run away from a person or problem. People who use silent treatment to manipulate often have the following characteristics: They never learned to express themselves assertively or maturely.

How to deal with toxic personality?

If you are met with defensiveness or a lack of empathy, you’ll know you are dealing with a toxic personality. 2. Share the psychology behind silent treatment. During a calm period after your partner has punished you with silence, give him or her some information about silent treatment abuse.

How to deal with silence in a relationship?

Calmly make it clear to him/her that you won’t allow silence to be used as punishment against you. 4. Respond with calmness and speak kindly. If you’re getting the silent treatment in a relationship, you will have to confront your partner at some point, even if your partner resists.

Can silent treatment make you angry?

Putting up with silent treatment can take its toll on you. You may become angry, depressed, and anxious because of how you’re being treated. In that case, seek professional help. If possible, ask the person giving you the silent treatment to go into therapy with you.

How to win silent treatment?

1. Shrugging it off. One way to understand how to win the silent treatment is to brush it off or ignore it. If you aren’t necessarily in a close relationship with the person who is giving you the silent treatment, you may be able to just move on and act like nothing happened.

Why do people use the silent treatment?

People who use the silent treatment to win arguments and gain control need to understand the magnitude of their immature behavior. Confrontation lets them know that you see what they are doing and you understand the tactics they use. After telling them the truth, you can laugh about it.

What to do if you are silent?

If you are experiencing the silent treatment from someone you love, then therapy may be the only answer. This only works if your partner is willing to go to therapy in order to move forward. Unfortunately, so many people like using the silent treatment and don’t want a therapist taking that weapon away.

What is a narcissist?

The narcissist. The narcissist is a troubled and sad individual. Among their weapons of choice, like their other manipulation techniques, they also utilize the silent treatment. The narcissist, since they are void of all original inner substance, will use the silent treatment to further establish who they are.

What does it mean when someone ignores others?

People who haven’t been taught to care effectively for others in a household will use the silent treatment on a regular basis. Selfish people care for themselves over others and when something doesn’t go their way, they ignore others to make a statement.

Who is Sherrie Hurd?

Sherrie Hurd is a professional writer and artist with over 20 years of experience. As a survivor of childhood trauma and multiple types of abuse, she is an advocate for mental health awareness. Sherrie manages multiple mental illnesses, including anxiety disorder, bipolar disorder, and PTSD. With this background and personal experience, she strives to help others overcome trauma and abuse, cope with mental illness, and heal over time.

Vote for the best comeback for someone giving you the silent treatment

Thanks for the silent treatment. I’ll just hold my breath while you get over yourself.

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