Treatment FAQ

what to say to someone giving you the silent treatment

by Dr. Polly Gusikowski Published 2 years ago Updated 2 years ago
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How to respond

  • Name the situation. Acknowledge that someone is using the silent treatment. ...
  • Use ‘I’ statements. A person can let the other person know how they feel by using “I” statements. ...
  • Acknowledge the other person’s feelings. ...
  • Apologize for words or actions. ...
  • Cool off and arrange a time to resolve the issue. ...
  • Avoid unhelpful responses. ...

How to respond
  • Name the situation. Acknowledge that someone is using the silent treatment. ...
  • Use 'I' statements. ...
  • Acknowledge the other person's feelings. ...
  • Apologize for words or actions. ...
  • Cool off and arrange a time to resolve the issue. ...
  • Avoid unhelpful responses.
Jun 8, 2020

Full Answer

Why are you receiving the silent treatment?

Apr 30, 2021 · Essentially, the silent treatment is a noxious (non)communication tactic that is often meant to exert emotion control over someone …

How to respond to the silent treatment?

Jul 14, 2016 · I’ll just hold my breath while you get over yourself. Go ahead, give me the silent treatment! I look forward to the peace and quiet. Giving me the silent treatment is not punishment, it’s a reward. Giving someone the silent treatment speaks volumes about your character.

What couples should know about the silent treatment?

Essentially, the silent treatment is a noxious (non)communication tactic that is often meant to exert emotion control over someone else through sowing doubt, confusion, and anxiety.

How to handle silent treatment abuse with dignity?

Jun 05, 2018 · When you’re wondering how to respond to the silent treatment, remind yourself that you are being mistreated yourself. Don’t plead with your partner. State clearly that you’re prepared to talk when they’re ready, and leave it at that. Don’t excuse their behaviour.

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How do you apologize to someone who gives you the silent treatment?

Calmly tell the person that you've noticed they're not responding and you want to understand why. Emphasize that you want to resolve things. While it's not your fault that someone else decides to give you the silent treatment, you do have a responsibility to apologize if you've done something wrong.Apr 30, 2019

How do you respond to silent treatment or stonewalling?

Responding to being stonewalled People copping the silent treatment often try to win the person over, and feel further hurt when they don't succeed, Ms Shaw says. "If you know your partner is locked into negative feelings, extending some sort of olive branch once can be helpful," she says.Apr 29, 2019

What type of person gives the silent treatment?

Research. Researchers have found that the silent treatment is used by both men and women to terminate a partner's behaviors or words rather than to elicit them. 1 In abusive relationships, the silent treatment is used to manipulate the other person and to establish power over them.Jun 1, 2020

What is the best way to respond when someone gives you the silent treatment everytime they are upset with you?

You can avoid the silent treatment by compassionately acknowledging what you're feeling. Avoid accusations or hostile language and try not to overthink it. I know for me, a simple “I know I've been quiet lately” or “Hey, I noticed you're not responding to me” opens the door to healthier communication.

What to do when he goes silent?

Nothing seems amiss.Suddenly, without warning, he goes radio silent and shuts down. ... Relax. ... In a neutral voice, just observe the shift: ... Really listen to his answer. ... Tell him what you want him to think: ... Give him time to slow down and figure it out.More items...•May 16, 2018

How do you break a silent relationship?

Backtrace your steps. Don't over assume. ... Make excuses for both parties. It'll be wrong to think you've done nothing wrong to deserve the unwarranted silence you're getting from your friend. ... Forgiveness. ... Understanding. ... Break the silence — talk softly.

Does silent treatment mean break up?

The silent treatment is a particularly toxic form of behavior that can lead to the breakdown of relationships. When a partner gives you the silent treatment, you might feel a crazy need to make him talk.

What does silence do to a woman?

Findings from his in-depth analysis revealed that the silent treatment is 'tremendously' damaging to a relationship. It decreases relationship satisfaction for both partners, diminishes feelings of intimacy, and reduces the capacity to communicate in a way that's healthy and meaningful.

Why silence is powerful with a man?

Silence can be a very powerful way to “be” with another person, especially when they are troubled. It can communicate acceptance of the other person as they are as of a given moment, and particularly when they have strong feelings like sorrow, fear or anger.

Is silent treatment toxic?

Why the Silent Treatment Is So Harmful When you're on the receiving end of the silent treatment, you may feel powerless, disrespected, invisible, frustrated, or angry — or you may cycle through all of these emotions. “Many people feel powerless because we as humans are inherently social creatures.Mar 10, 2021

Is giving the silent treatment immature?

At best the silent treatment isan immature behavior used by spoiled brats and manipulativeindividuals. At worst, it is a weapon used by abusers to punish their victims.Jul 11, 2016

Is silent treatment manipulation?

The silent treatment is widely regarded as a form of emotional manipulation and even psychological abuse. It is the act of ceasing to initiate or respond to communication with someone else or refusing to acknowledge them altogether.Nov 27, 2018

What is the silent treatment?

You’re probably familiar with the term. It boils down to one person in a relationship ignoring a significant other, friend, child, or family member for significant periods of time. On occasion, the person doing it might not even indicate why they’ve gone silent.

What to do about the silent treatment

One way of addressing the issue is by calling it out directly, but never in an accusatory or hostile way. The psychiatrist Elizabeth Gordon recently told Fatherly that someone on the receiving-end should use I-statements, which clarify how the speaker feels.

Vote for the best comeback for someone giving you the silent treatment

Thanks for the silent treatment. I’ll just hold my breath while you get over yourself.

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What is the silent treatment?

You’re probably familiar with the term. It boils down to one person in a relationship ignoring a significant other, friend, child, or family member for significant periods of time. On occasion, the person doing it might not even indicate why they’ve gone silent.

What to do about the silent treatment

One way of addressing the issue is by calling it out directly, but never in an accusatory or hostile way. The psychiatrist Elizabeth Gordon recently told Fatherly that someone on the receiving-end should use I-statements, which clarify how the speaker feels.

About the Author

Staff Writer, Lifehacker. Once wrote a story about a scam artist that was plagiarized by the Daily Mail. Accepts donations via Venmo.

What does it mean when your partner stops talking to you?

If your partner seems to have stopped talking to you out of the blue or after a fight, clearly the two of you are having a conflict – even if you weren’t aware that you’d done something ‘wrong’.

Is the silent treatment good?

No, the silent treatment is seldom a good idea. When you’re using the silent treatment, you’re attempting to manipulate and control your partner or spouse. I can understand your resorting to not responding to your partner or spouse if they continue to batter your ears over something you really don’t want to talk about.

Can you change your partner?

you are not your partner’s therapist. you cannot change your partner, and neither should you change yourself to fit in with their demands beyond reasonable compromises.

Why do people use silent treatment?

The silent treatment might be employed by passive personality types to avoid conflict and confrontation, while strong personality types use it to punish or control. Some people may not even consciously choose it at all.

Why is silent treatment so insidious?

The silent treatment is a particularly insidious form of abuse because it might force the victim to reconcile with the perpetrator in an effort to end the behavior, even if the victim doesn’t know why they’re apologizing. “It’s especially controlling because it deprives both sides from weighing in,” Williams said.

How long does silent treatment last?

In the end, whether it lasts four hours or four decades, the silent treatment says more about the person doing it than it does about the person receiving it.

What does it mean to acknowledge someone is using the silent treatment?

Acknowledge that someone is using the silent treatment. For example, a person can say, “I notice that you are not responding to me.” This lays the foundation for two people to engage with each other more effectively.

What is silent treatment?

Summary. The silent treatment is a refusal to communicate verbally with another person. People who use the silent treatment may even refuse to acknowledge the presence of the other person. People use the silent treatment in many types of relationship, including romantic relationships. It can sometimes be a form of emotional abuse.

Why do people use the silent treatment?

People use the silent treatment for a number of reasons. These include: 1 Avoidance: In some cases, people stay silent in a conversation because they do not know what to say or want to avoid conflict. 2 Communication: A person may use the silent treatment if they do not know how to express their feelings but want their partner to know that they are upset. 3 Punishment: If a person uses silence to punish someone or to exert control or power over them, this is a form of emotional abuse.

Why do people use silence?

they talk to other people but not to their partner. they seek alliances from others. they use silence to blame their partner and make them feel guilty. they use silence to manipulate or “improve” their partner, or to pressure them to change their behavior.

How to deal with a person who is abusive?

Avoid becoming defensive or going into problem-solving mode. Try to stay present and listen empathically. If the person responds in a threatening or abusive way, it is important to remove oneself from the situation until they calm down. Talk to a doctor, therapist, or trusted friend for help.

What are the types of emotional abuse?

demanding access to their phone, email account, and other digital information. deciding what they wear, eat, or drink.

How to help someone with domestic violence?

talk privately with a trusted professional, such as a counselor or domestic violence advocate, who can discuss the person’s options in a safe space. seek advice and support from a domestic abuse organization, such as the National Domestic Violence Hotline or Love is Respect.

What to do if you are silent?

If you are experiencing the silent treatment from someone you love, then therapy may be the only answer. This only works if your partner is willing to go to therapy in order to move forward. Unfortunately, so many people like using the silent treatment and don’t want a therapist taking that weapon away.

How to win silent treatment?

1. Shrugging it off. One way to understand how to win the silent treatment is to brush it off or ignore it. If you aren’t necessarily in a close relationship with the person who is giving you the silent treatment, you may be able to just move on and act like nothing happened.

Why do people use the silent treatment?

People who use the silent treatment to win arguments and gain control need to understand the magnitude of their immature behavior. Confrontation lets them know that you see what they are doing and you understand the tactics they use. After telling them the truth, you can laugh about it.

What is a narcissist?

The narcissist. The narcissist is a troubled and sad individual. Among their weapons of choice, like their other manipulation techniques, they also utilize the silent treatment. The narcissist, since they are void of all original inner substance, will use the silent treatment to further establish who they are.

What does it mean when someone ignores others?

People who haven’t been taught to care effectively for others in a household will use the silent treatment on a regular basis. Selfish people care for themselves over others and when something doesn’t go their way, they ignore others to make a statement.

Who is Sherrie Hurd?

Sherrie Hurd is a professional writer and artist with over 20 years of experience. As a survivor of childhood trauma and multiple types of abuse, she is an advocate for mental health awareness. Sherrie manages multiple mental illnesses, including anxiety disorder, bipolar disorder, and PTSD. With this background and personal experience, she strives to help others overcome trauma and abuse, cope with mental illness, and heal over time.

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