what to do when my girlfriend does the silent treatment

Respond with calmness and speak kindly. If you’re getting the silent treatment in a relationship, you will have to confront your partner at some point, even if your partner resists. When that time comes, take a deep breath, clear your mind, and initiate a talk in a private, comfortable place.

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What to do when your partner gives you the silent treatment?

To sum up, if your partner gives you the silent treatment more than you feel is reasonable, look inward at how much support you provide for your partner’s self-worth. Both you and your partner need to feel this deep sense of value to have a fulfilling relationship that lasts over time.

What does it mean when your boyfriend gives you the silent treatment?

The silent treatment can happen in romantic relationships or any type of relationship, including between parents and children, friends, and co-workers. It can be a fleeting reaction to a situation in which one person feels angry, frustrated, or too overwhelmed to deal with a problem.

Do you use the Silent Treatment with your ex?

Sometimes the silent treatment is possibly the only thing that will work, it is often employed where attempts at communication are seen as nothing more than nagging. Wound up in therapy with my ex husband, where he admitted that he messed up anything that I asked for help with in the hope of not being asked for help in future.

Is it okay to give the silent treatment to someone?

If you don't think you did anything to deserve the silent treatment or at least aren't sure about what might have sparked it, share that too. Though the silent treatment is not an acceptable response to a conflict, many people resort to the tactic when they feel like they aren't being heard in the first place.

Does silent treatment mean break up?

The silent treatment is a particularly toxic form of behavior that can lead to the breakdown of relationships. When a partner gives you the silent treatment, you might feel a crazy need to make him talk.

How long should the silent treatment last?

Agree how long you will take to recover. Ideally no more than 1 hour, hopefully less. Say “I will be back in *** (time) to continue the discussion” even if you can only manage to come back to agree to close it down for the time being, or take the matter to counselling.

How do you break a silent relationship?

Apologize A straightforward method for how to break silence in a relationship is to apologize whether you're the reason why things have gone quiet or the disagreement or not. There's nothing wrong with telling someone you're sorry for the part you played for why you're where you are now.

How do you confront someone who is giving you the silent treatment?

7 Useful Ways to Confront Someone Giving You the Silent Treatment...Question Your Own Behavior.Rehearse What You Are Going to Say.Speak in Private.Write Them a Letter/E-mail.Use Humor.Pay Attention to Your Tone.Act in a More Assertive Manner.

What does silence do to a man?

Findings from his in-depth analysis revealed that the silent treatment is 'tremendously' damaging to a relationship. It decreases relationship satisfaction for both partners, diminishes feelings of intimacy, and reduces the capacity to communicate in a way that's healthy and meaningful.

How can the silent treatment backfire?

If done in a friendly, gentle manner,these gestures sends the message that you aren't taking them so seriously and it gives them permission to back down and not take themselves so seriously. If your colleague or boss has no sense of humor, or is truly a narcissist, this will backfire, so be careful!

Is silent treatment toxic?

When silence, or, rather, the refusal to engage in a conversation, is used as a control tactic to exert power in a relationship, then it becomes "the silent treatment," which is toxic, unhealthy, and abusive.

How long should I give her space after a fight?

How long should I give my partner space after an argument? A few hours is probably enough. Everyone's different, and your partner might need more or less time than you to calm down. In general, men need more time and space after an argument than women do.

Is ignoring someone a form of emotional abuse?

In fact, it qualifies as abuse: Just because you are not using your hands doesn't mean you can't irreparably hurt someone else. Ignoring someone is also not a strategy, it's just a flat out disregard for someone else's feelings.

Why silence is powerful in a relationship?

Healthy silence can show a level of vulnerability and comfort within a relationship. At other times, one or both individuals may need a break from verbal communication, just being content in each other's space. Healthy silence can also be utilized when a person is angry and escalating.

Is silent treatment manipulation?

The silent treatment is widely regarded as a form of emotional manipulation and even psychological abuse. It is the act of ceasing to initiate or respond to communication with someone else or refusing to acknowledge them altogether.

What do you do when your partner won't talk to you?

These tips can help you foster more open and honest communication.Process your feelings first. ... Thinking about timing. ... Start with 'I' statements and feelings. ... Focus on being both being heard and listening. ... Make compromising and resolution the goal. ... Set clear boundaries. ... Leave notes for your partner.More items...

How to get rid of the silent treatment?

2. Take a break. Familiarise yourself with a time-out (opens in a new tab). It’s a really useful strategy when you’re feeling too overwhelmed to think straight.

What is “the silent treatment” and how can you win it?

You’ll surely know what it feels like when someone gives you the silent treatment. They simply stop talking to you – for hours, days or even weeks.

Why does your spouse or partner ignore you?

The question I often get asked is: “Why do guys give the silent treatment?”

Why do I have to take a good look at my relationship?

If your partner or spouse has been giving you the silent treatment for a month, a week or even a day, I’d like you to take a good look at your relationship because chances are you’re in a toxic relationship. Perhaps that comes as a shock, or you’ve known all along that you’re in a bad relationship.

What does it mean when you use the silent treatment?

When you’re using the silent treatment, you’re attempting to manipulate and control your partner or spouse.

What to do if you're in a long distance relationship?

If you’re dating or are in a long-distance relationship and you’re being given the silent treatment, stop writing, texting or calling right away! You’re either being manipulated, or the relationship has ended.

What does it mean when your partner stops talking to you?

If your partner seems to have stopped talking to you out of the blue or after a fight, clearly the two of you are having a conflict – even if you weren’t aware that you’d done something ‘wrong’.

How to respond to silent treatment?

Here are some ways to respond to the silent treatment. 1. Take Time to Cool Off. During a time of silence both partners should pause to reflect on what led up to the silent treatment episode, especially if it was preceded by an argument, fight, or emotional outburst.

What Is the Silent Treatment in a Relationship?

The silent treatment is when one person in a relationship ignores the other person, refusing to acknowledge them verbally or through any other method. This usually happens after an argument, but it can also happen when the silent partner is angry, and the other person doesn't know why.

What should you do when you dodge a bullet?

Answer: What you should do is count your blessings that you dodged a bullet. Possessiveness is an early sign of much bigger problems.

How long should you be honest with someone who has silent treatment?

I say you should blow someone's mind by being honest when someone carries on the silent treatment past 48 hours. Just tell you're partner very calmly that while you understand they are upset, a sufficient amount of time has passed for them to process the situation.

What does it mean when a silent partner is attempting to escape another toxic dynamic?

In some cases, the silent partner is attempting to escape another toxic dynamic. If you are trying to force them to change or do things your way, you're giving them a reason to withdraw. If you criticize them as a person or assigning blame instead of focusing on finding solutions, you're contributing to the dynamic.

How to deal with a silent spouse?

Give Your Partner Space to Think. Avoid trying to figure out what your silent partner or spouse is thinking. You're not a mind-reader. The silent treatment is a passive-aggressive form of communication. If you do their thinking for them, they won't learn how to be direct when sharing their thoughts and feelings.

How to control your partner?

Changing Your Approach to the Relationship 1 Remind yourself that your partner feels uncertain and out of control. 2 Do not resort to sulking, pouting, or badgering. Try to maintain a calm attitude if you can. Take a walk to get a breath of air. 3 Consider whether you too might be trying to control the relationship more than your partner is comfortable with.

What is silent treatment?

Left unchecked, the silent treatment becomes a pattern of behavior and emotional abuse that is used to manipulate over time. Fear not! There are a few things you can do to deal with the silent treatment in a relationship. Let’s break it down.

Why is it important to acknowledge your partner's feelings?

Acknowledging your partner’s feelings not only validates their experience, it creates space for a larger conversation. Through larger conversations, you can lay the foundation for trust and signal that you’re interested in understanding their point of view while being honest about how the silent treatment makes you feel.

Is it worth getting over the silent treatment?

Getting over the silent treatment isn’t particularly easy or pleasant. And yet, it’s work worth doing. Not only will it help you become a better communicator, it also helps you build a relationship based on trust and healthy communication.

Is silent treatment a good coping technique?

Neither provides a good foundation for handling conflict in a healthy relationship. The bottom line is the silent treatment is not a healthy coping technique for you or your partner.

Do you have to say "what you did hurt me"?

Most of the time, you actually have to say the words “Hey, what you did hurt me,” even when you would rather keep your mouth shut and protect yourself from all of the feels. Even when your partner means well, it pays off to speak up when they say or do something to upset you.

Is silent treatment unhealthy?

Keep in mind that these communication strategies may not work on your partner if they are already aware that the silent treatment is an unhealthy behavior. We all do unhealthy things sometimes and it doesn’t make you or your partner a monster. If you’ve had a conversation about the silent treatment with your partner and the behavior continues, it may be time to consider leaving the relationship–because we all deserve healthy relationships.

What to do if your partner gives you the silent treatment?

To sum up, if your partner gives you the silent treatment more than you feel is reasonable, look inward at how much support you provide for your partner’s self-worth. Both you and your partner need to feel this deep sense of value to have a fulfilling relationship that lasts over time.

What does it mean when you are treated unfairly?

In relationships, as in the workplace, this means that if you’re treated unfairly, you’ll use the passive-aggressive state of silence in an effort to defend your sense of self in a way that is less risky than speaking out about the unfairness. You can’t get in trouble, so this reasoning goes, for what you don’t say.

Is silence better than conversation?

Silence can sometimes be better than conversation, especially if you and your partner need to take a break from an argument and just cool off. When one partner refuses to speak, however, the silence can seem unbearable, especially if it continues. In the dirty dishes scenario, it would seem like your partner is resorting to silence as a way ...

How to deal with a girl who is silent?

Another thing that you can do on how to deal with a girl giving you the silent treatment is by say an apology to her. Say it, that you feel sorry about thing that you did to her. Say it, that you feel sorry knowing that she feels bad or sad for now.

Why do people keep silent all day?

Even when someone is choosing to keep silent all day long, it is because there were something that made him or her choose to be that way. However, someone who can't really deal with his or her emotion until other people can see it clearly, surely that person has a problem. There are some similarity on how to deal with a girl who is mad at you ...

Why is silent treatment bad?

This decreases intimacy and trust between partners, and can cause anxiety and aggressive behavior. The silent treatment may become a pattern, which hinders the ability to communicate effectively. Many people don’t realize the dangers of engaging in the silent treatment, which only adds to the problem.

How to stop being ignored?

First off, stay calm. Whether you’re doing the ignoring or being ignored, forget about anger, forget about your ego, just apologize. Have a conversation like a real adult. It’s not worth it to keep the silence.

How to stop feeling thirsty?

Try to avoid sugary beverages and caffeine, since it’s a diuretic – meaning you’ll feel thirstier. It will also amplify your anxiety which prevents you from speaking smoothly.

What are the emotions that come with being ignored?

This may be a given, but there is a wide variety of overwhelming emotions that come with being ignored. Victims may experience depression, anger, and frustration, as well as feelings of restlessness, isolation and rejection, guilt, loneliness, and despair ― maybe even a sense of betrayal or bitterness. [2]

What happens when someone ignores you?

When someone ignores you, they might not realize the damage it causes ― or they do and they think it’ll make you better. Or maybe they need space but don’t bother to tell you that. They could just be avoiding a confrontation, and not realize they’ve gone about it the wrong way.

Do you need to drink water before a speech?

To prevent all that, it’s essential we stay adequately hydrated before a speech. A sip of water will do the trick. However, do drink in moderation so that you won’t need to go to the bathroom constantly.

Is it bad to ignore someone?

But here’s the thing about blatantly ignoring someone: not only is it rude, immature, inconsiderate, cruel, and petty, it’s downright emotionally (and sometimes physically) damaging.

How to avoid silent treatment?

Require you to apologize or give in to demands just so they will talk to you. Refuse to acknowledge you until you grovel and plead. Use silence as a passive-aggressive way to control your behavior (e.g., you give in to demands or you avoid certain behaviors to avoid the silent treatment)

Why do people use silent treatment?

Research. Researchers have found that the silent treatment is used by both men and women to terminate a partner's behaviors or words rather than to elicit them. 1  In abusive relationships, the silent treatment is used to manipulate the other person and to establish power over them.

What happens when silence is used?

When this happens, it becomes a control tactic that is emotionally abusive.

Why is a victim silent?

There are also instances when a victim of abuse is silent as a way to stay safe and keep an already abusive situation from escalating. In these situations, the victim knows that saying something—even if their partner demands it—will only escalate the situation and lead to more abuse.

How to avoid taking responsibility for bad behavior?

Use the silent treatment to put you in your place. Give you the cold shoulder for days or weeks at a time. Refuse to talk, make eye contact, answer calls, or respond to texts. Fall back on the silent treatment when things don't go their way. Use it as a way to avoid taking responsibility for bad behavior.

Why does a demanding partner become silent?

In demand-withdraw interactions, the demanding partner feels shut out and that their emotional needs are not being met while the withdrawing partner becomes silent due to hurt feelings and an unwillingness or inability to talk about them.

How to resolve a relationship issue?

To resolve the issue, both partners need to take responsibility for their behavior and try to empathize with their partner.

Why do people use the silent treatment?

People generally resort to using the silent treatment as a means of placing them in a position of control (often because they feel helpless in the face of their situations, their feelings, etc.). A person may also use the silent treatment to avoid personal responsibility for his own actions or to suppress a partner's attempts at asserting self-worth. Additionally, he may be employing the silent treatment predominantly due to a lack of ability to properly communicate. Most likely though, it's attributable to a combination of the above factors.

What Is the Meaning of the Silent Treatment?

If you think that your partner not speaking to you for days on end is normal, then think again. Whilst silence can be used in a productive manner—such as following a breakup or during a period of cooling off—prolonged periods of unresponsiveness within intimate relationships are not normal or healthy.

How to handle similar situations?

You can even come up with agreed-upon terms for those situations, such as 'red light for an hour'. These can work wonders when it comes to both parties feeling respected in their wishes and needs.

What does it mean when your partner is ignored?

In doing so, your partner is attempting to induce feelings of powerlessness and shame. This is known as psychological or emotional abuse.

Is silent treatment a form of abuse?

Answer: Yes, the silent treatment is a type of emotional abuse. Also, him referring to you as being, 'mentally ill,' is another form of abuse, commonly referred to as 'gaslighting.'. The latter can have serious implications for your emotional well-being. Remember, it is perfectly natural for couples to argue.

Is it normal to be subjected to silent treatment?

Answer: It is never normal to be subjected to the silent treatment, which is a form of emotional abuse.

Is silent treatment passive or aggressive?

This is because the ' silent treatment ', also known as emotional withholding, is actually a form of passive-aggressive abuse.