How should you deal with a depressed spouse?
How to help a partner with depression
- Encourage your partner to seek professional help. Depression is treatable. ...
- Work as a team. Marriage is a team sport — both in good times and bad. ...
- Practice self-care. Maintain your own health and well-being. ...
- Don’t take it personally. Depression isn’t anyone’s fault. ...
- Educate yourself. Your partner needs patience and unconditional love. ...
What are the signs of a depressed spouse?
Suddenly, your partner may start to:
- Cry or seem very angry often
- Lack energy or interest in activities
- Lose concentration or focus
- Sleep more often or very little
- Drink more alcohol than in the past or use drugs
- Lose interest in sex
How to help a depressed spouse and sustain your marriage?
Reaching Out to Your Spouse
- Pray fervently with and for them.
- Share meaningful Scripture verses.
- Help them see that the family needs them to get well.
- Listen; give credibility to their feelings.
- Seek help for yourself and offer to see a therapist with them.
How can you help a partner with depression?
Many women may not realise but they do suffer from postpartum depression after giving birth to their child. The arrival of the baby completely changes your life but it can harm you mentally ... their family and partner as it will help relieve her stress ...
What do you do when your husband won't get help?
What to do if Your Spouse Refuses to Seek HelpBe Gentle and Kind. Your approach to the situation will have a huge impact on how it plays out. ... Address Potential Underlying Factors. ... Try to Attend Counseling Together. ... Attend Online Counseling. ... Encourage In Whatever Ways You Can. ... Take Care Of Yourself.
What should a husband do when his wife is depressed?
Encourage your spouse to get help and a diagnosis from a mental health professional. They can start with talk therapy and, if they need it, prescription medication, Barber says. Make an appointment with a psychologist, psychiatrist, counselor, or family doctor for a diagnosis, and begin therapy.
How do you get someone mental help if they don't want to be helped?
If you or someone you know needs to talk to someone right now, text START to 741-741 or call 1-800-273-TALK (8255) for a free, confidential conversation with a trained counselor 24/7. If this is an emergency, please call 911 immediately.
How do I help my husband with a mental breakdown?
How to Help Someone During a Nervous BreakdownCreate a safe and calm environment. Make sure both physically and emotionally the individual is in a safe place. ... Listen without judgment. ... Encourage treatment. ... Help them make lifestyle changes.
Can depression make you want a divorce?
Statistics about how frequently depression affects one partner in a relationship are elusive, say Sherman and other experts. But mental health counselors like Sherman say depression often leads couples to seek counseling, fearful the depression will lead to divorce.
What do you say to your husband when he's depressed?
Encourage treatmentShare the symptoms you've noticed.Express your concern.Express your willingness to help, including making and preparing for appointments.Discuss what you've learned about depression.Talk about treatment options, including psychotherapy, medication, and lifestyle changes.
What do you do if someone refuses mental health treatment?
If the person refuses to follow the treatment plan, he/she can be sent to jail. Mental health courts have been shown to be very effective in keeping people on medication, and in reducing rehospitalizations, incarcerations, and violent behavior.
What to do with someone who doesn't want to do anything?
Here are a few things to consider when working with your loved one who doesn't want help:Listen and validate. If your relationship is iffy, it doesn't hurt to just listen. ... Ask questions. ... Resist the urge to fix or give advice. ... Explore options together. ... Take care of yourself and find your own support.
What are the 5 signs of mental illness?
Here are five warning signs of mental illness to watch for, especially when you have two or more of these symptoms.Long-lasting sadness or irritability.Extremely high and low moods.Excessive fear, worry, or anxiety.Social withdrawal.Dramatic changes in eating or sleeping habits.
Can a marriage survive mental illness?
Can Marriage Survive a Mental Illness? Some marriages can survive a mental illness, and some can't. There are many people with mental illness who have gotten the treatment and medication they needed, and they've gone on to have happy marriages and fulfilling lives.
Can a relationship survive mental illness?
The good news is that it's possible to be in a healthy, loving, and long-term partnership with someone who has a mental illness. If this is relevant to you, be aware of the unique challenges you and your partner may face, and utilize resources and strategies that will help you grow and nurture your relationship.
Should I leave my mentally ill husband?
If the spouse with the mental illness refuses to seek treatment despite understanding the toll the illness has taken on them and their family, recognizing that help is available, and having access to a licensed treatment center, then the individual may need to leave to protect their own mental health.
How to help a depressed spouse?
Here are some ways to work around this. 1. Go to a counseling appointment together, say that them going will help you feel better (take the direct focus off them) 2. If your spouse has some physical ailments, go with them to their doctor.
What happens when a depressed spouse refuses help?
When a Depressed Spouse Refuses Help. Having a depressed spouse and parent in the family creates a difficult problem. The parents are supposed to be the leaders, the example setters, the encouragers both to each other and to their children. When one of the adults has big mental health problems, this changes the balance and affects everyone.
What happens when your spouse is in a deep hole?
This could be health problems, job issues, financial responsibilities that have gone badly, fallouts with friends of family, etc. These circumstances leave them depressed and not functioning well.
How to get your spouse to help you?
If your spouse has some physical ailments, go with them to their doctor. Send a letter or make a call ahead of time saying that your spouse is depressed and you need to get them some help. Bribe your spouse with dinner out or doing something they like, whatever it takes to get them to go.
How to help someone with depression?
Encourage them to be physically active. Even though this isn’t a formal depression therapy, exercise is proven to lift a person’s mood and help with depression recovery. 4. Have empathy for their situation but don’t blindly go along with all their negative comments and beliefs.
Can a depressed spouse be in prison?
This isn’t pretty, but it is a problem many people with depressed spouses or partners face. Depression and other personality traits can trap a person in their own prison. Outside influence seems to have little effect on them coming out. It’s frustrating and can be even depressing for the healthy spouse.
Does depression affect your spouse?
No matter how your spouse is responding to your urges to get help, you need to take care of yourself. Being with a depressed spouse increases your own chances of developing depression. Depression isn’t “catchy” like a cold.
How to help a depressed spouse?
Practice Self-care. It’s important to take care of yourself while you help your depressed spouse. You may choose to start therapy to express how you feel about your marriage and find ways to cope. Here are some tips to help you stay emotionally and physically healthy: Get enough sleep. Exercise regularly.
How to help my wife with depression?
Invite them to do more activities together that are fun. Do something active like exercise . Depression often causes lethargy. Invite your spouse to go for a walk or to the beach if you have one nearby.”.
What if my spouse refuses to go to therapy?
What if your spouse refuses to go to therapy? You may feel hopeless, but try to stay positive, because depression often is treatable, Barber says. Although your spouse may need to stick with therapy and/or medication for a few months, up to 90% of people with depression do improve with treatment.
What happens if your spouse withdraws from you?
If your depressed spouse withdraws from you or has angry outbursts all the time, it’s easy to feel hurt and alienated, and react with similar behaviors, says Jacques Barber, PhD, Dean, Gordon F. Derner School of Psychology at Adelphi University in Garden City, NY.
How to help your spouse with a mental illness?
Encourage your spouse to get help and a diagnosis from a mental health professional. They can start with talk therapy and, if they need it, prescription medication, Barber says. Make an appointment with a psychologist, psychiatrist, counselor, or family doctor for a diagnosis, and begin therapy.
Can depression affect your spouse?
Don’t view your spouse’s depression as a negative reflection on your worth as a partner or person, Ben-David says. “This can feel very personal to you. If your spouse is acting out, those behaviors can feel like an attack on you. You may feel like you have to take responsibility for it.
Can couples have therapy together?
Some couples choose to have therapy together, especially if depression has led to sexual issues in the marriage, such as an affair, Ben-David says. Your depressed partner may prefer to do solo therapy. If they’re struggling with addiction, they need to treat that before tackling their depression, he says. “There’s no quick fix.
What to do if your partner is depressed?
If you suspect your partner is dealing with depression, Dr. Borland recommends these five action items: 1. Encourage your partner to seek professional help. Depression is treatable. So rather than ignoring the problem or trying to fix it yourselves, enlist the help of a primary care doctor or psychiatrist.
How to talk about depression?
Depression can be hard to talk about. It helps to work on assertive communication. Share your feelings and concerns without playing the blame game. Start sentences with “I” statements that focus on your feelings, such as, “I noticed,” or, “I’m worried.”. Talk openly about symptoms you’ve seen and how you want to help.
How to strengthen a relationship?
To make your relationship the best it can be, Dr. Borland recommends attending couples counseling and doing small activities together regularly, whether that’s cooking a meal, seeing a movie or tackling a neglected DIY project. Depression is like a leaky basement.
What to do if your partner is talking therapy?
If talk therapy is part of your partner’s treatment, join their first few sessions — or more. Your partner may also want you to participate in meetings about medications.
Is depression anyone's fault?
Depression isn’t anyone’s fault. Give your partner a sense of security and support even when they’re acting out. This takes patience and commitment — but it’s worth the effort.
Is depression bad for a relationship?
Depression is tough on a relationship — here’s how to get through it. While depression can wreak havoc on a relationship, it can also strengthen a couple’s bond. Clinical psychologist Adam Borland, PsyD, shares how you can help a depressed spouse — and yourself — so you can get through the tough times, together. Advertising Policy.
How to help husbands with depression?
Call the person’s clinician, or call 911 or take him to your local hospital emergency room. When husbands have depression, it can tear apart their marriage and family. Wives may take over and hope the problem will go away, or on the opposite end, withdraw, feeling betrayed and angry.
How often do women experience depression?
U.S. statistics state that women experience depression much more frequently than men: 1 out of every 4 to 5 women, compared to 1 out of every 8 to 10 men. However, many experts feel these statistics are simply wrong.
How to help my husband with a swollen ear?
See a doctor. Ask your husband to see a medical professional, offer to make the appointment, and make sure to go with him or call the medical professional in advance to state his symptoms.
Can depression cause disability?
The consequences of untreated depression are serious and sometimes fatal. Depression is a leading cause of disability so many men can’t work.
Is depression a treatable disease?
Fifty percent of wives caring for a depressed husband will develop depression themselves. The good news is that depression is highly treatable. Once diagnosed, most people who get help report substantial relief.
How to encourage a spouse to seek help?
You may also want to resort to loving bribery — offering your spouse a nice meal at their favorite restaurant if they decide to speak with a counselor. Anything that you can do to encourage them to seek help without resorting to anything mean or immoral. If you feel like you’re being shady, remember that you’re doing this for the best interest of the marriage.
Why does my wife have mental illness?
There may also be underlying emotional issues leading to their current state of mental health. Unaddressed trauma is one of the leading causes of mental illness. If your spouse experienced something traumatic during childhood then there’s no telling when the feelings may resurface. If they’re experiencing a bout of depression or anxiety seemingly without cause, this might be why.
How to help someone with mental illness?
Try your best to understand what’s making them feel how they feel. Try not to reject or accuse them of anything, and try not to let their behavior affect you personally if you can see that it’s the result of a mental disorder. Be patient and kind and allow them to feel supported until they’re comfortable seeking help.
What to do if you feel stuck?
If you feel stuck, reach out for help.
Can you take care of your spouse's mental health?
Don’t let your spouse’s mental health disorder take a toll on you. Even though you’re trying to help them as best you can, don’t let their mental health issues eat away at you. You need to take care of yourself first, otherwise, you won’t be able to take care of them at all!
Can you make your spouse do you a favor?
If you want, you can even make it out to seem like your spouse is doing you a favor. Tell them that you’d be more comfortable in your marriage if the two of you could attend marriage counseling together, just to see what sort of positive changes might emerge as a result.
Can therapists work online?
Many therapists and counselors have moved their practice online. If they haven’t moved entirely online, many still offer the option to connect via secure video software.
What to do if your spouse is depressed?
If you suspect your spouse may be depressed, the most important action you can take is to help him or her get proper diagnosis and treatment. That can be difficult, though, since one of the factors of depression is hopelessness; depressed people tend to believe nothing will help. That’s why it’s important that you be persistent.
What to do if your spouse refuses to help?
If your partner refuses to seek help, you should treat the illness the same way you would an alcohol or drug problem and step up the intervention. You may need to go so far as to threaten to move out if your partner doesn’t get help. That’s especially appropriate if you have children, since research has shown that one of the most significant factors in raising mentally healthy children is to have mentally healthy parents. Often, that understanding alone can compel a spouse to get help.
What is the hallmark of depression?
Additionally, a hallmark of major depression is a loss of interest in activities that used to be enjoyable. Combine that with a victim’s social withdrawal, and physical affection diminishes as well. Understandably, spouses of depressed people often experience their own depression.
How long does it take for depression to go away?
The prognosis for depression is good, once it’s diagnosed. Though it can take three to six months to achieve significant improvement, 80 to 90 percent of cases can be effectively treated, usually with a combination of medication and counseling.
What is the best book to read for depression?
You may also benefit from reading some good self-help books. Feeling Good by David Burns is particularly helpful. It focuses on changing thought processes and patterns that accompany depression, such as avoiding all-or-nothing thinking, perfectionism, taking things too personally, dwelling on negative things from the past and overgeneralizing.
Is depression a biological disorder?
Major depression is a widely misunderstood illness. It is a biologically based disorder that appears in a variety of disguises before being diagnosed. It can appear as irritability, moodiness or changes in personality and may manifest itself differently in men and women. In men, depression often includes increased anger, irritability and alcohol and drug use. In women, symptoms may include withdrawal, tearfulness, lack of energy and an inability to concentrate.
Is it good to be depressed when married?
When you find a married person who is depressed, chances are pretty good you’ll also find an unhappy marriage. According to a study at the University of Colorado at Boulder, a spouse’s level of depression is a good indication of marital satisfaction, and the burden of living with someone who has mental health problems takes a toll on both partners.
How to deal with a partner who is depressed?
You may also need to stipulate what you’re prepared to put up with if their depression involves heavy drinking or other problematic behaviors (" Depression and Relationships: When to Say Goodbye ").
What to do when you have depression?
As long as you’re aware where your responsibilities end and where it’s up to the other person to act, there are some things you can do: Provide consistency: Routine is great for people with depression, as it helps them ground their sometimes unpredictable moods.
How to help your partner with a mental illness?
Offer gentle reminders of help: Keep reminding your partner of the kinds of support that's available, such as an appointment with their doctor, a telephone call with a mental health helpline or therapy sessions.
Why is my partner not accepting help?
Be empathetic: Your partner may have good reasons for not wanting to accept help. He or she may want to keep the depression separate from your relationship, or they may be worried about losing their job or children if they were to get treatment (even though this only happens in extreme cases).
What to do when someone doesn't want to be helped?
Conversely, empathy and understanding are the keys to helping someone who doesn't want to be helped. Sure, you can force your partner into treatment, but if he or she is not prepared to accept help, the chances of them getting better are slim.
Can you make your spouse see depression?
Just like when someone has an alcohol or drug addiction, it can be difficult to make your spouse see how their depression is affecting your relationship and home life. When you're dealing with an addict, however, confrontation rarely motivates them to seek help.
Can depression be frustrating?
This can be incredibly bothersome when you’re worried about your partner, and dealing with someone with depression can be frustrating. Understandably, this frustration often leads to confrontation, which is rarely helpful to either partner. Just like when someone has an alcohol or drug addiction, it can be difficult to make your spouse see how ...
What does it mean when your spouse doesn't get help?
A spouse not getting needed help will unintentionally be sending a message to their spouse that he or she is not important enough to do so.
What to do if your spouse refuses to seek medical care?
Get professional help in getting your spouse the help that is needed especially if you believe your spouse's refusal to seek medical or psychological care is life-threatening.
How to get your spouse to stop refusing help?
Tell your spouse that you are worried. Talk to them about the fear you feel over this situation. Talk to your spouse about your own feelings related to the impact this refusal of help or treatment has on you. Accept your role as spouse and not as your spouse's parent.
What happens if my spouse refuses to get help?
If a spouse continues to refuse to get help, perhaps starting in counseling together may be a productive gateway to helping your spouse get their own personal help.
Why is it so frustrating to have a spouse?
It is very frustrating and worrisome when a spouse does not have the motivation to take care of their health needs. It can also begin to impact your marriage quite negatively . It is more common for wives to struggle with this problem.
Can you threaten to leave a marriage?
Do not threaten to leave the marriage (unless you really mean it). A psychological issue can cause significant distress in a marriage. This is often trickier, as the spouse may lack insight into the problem. Both psychological and medical problems left untreated can begin to impact the entire family system.
