
Full Answer
Does the silent treatment really work?
We now have pretty conclusive evidence from dozens of country and state studies that lockdowns were a highly ineffective way to combat the virus. Lockdowns may have saved some lives, but this response was the equivalent of trying to remove a tumor with a sledgehammer.
When you should use the silent treatment?
The silent treatment will be effective only and only when used as a means to create just enough space for allowing both partners to work through their own emotions, gather their thoughts and revisit a point of contention more pragmatically.
What is the purpose of giving someone the "silent treatment"?
Giving someone silent treatment is a form of manipulation. The silent treatment can be used to modify behavior. Being ignored has a huge effect on a person's mental state, so they're willing to do nearly anything to regain the manipulator's attention.
Why are you receiving the silent treatment?
The silent treatment is a sign that communication in the relationship has broken down. By working on the communication and striving to create an environment where you can both be open and honest about your feelings; you will strip away most of the reasons for applying the silent treatment.

Why do people give silent treatment?
Sometimes, going silent may be the best thing to avoid saying things you would later regret. People might also use it in moments where they don't know how to express themselves or feel overwhelmed. But some people use the silent treatment as a tool for exerting power over someone or creating emotional distance.
What does the silent treatment say about a person?
According to a 2012 study, people who regularly feel ignored also report lower levels of self-esteem, belonging, and meaning in their lives. Because of this, the silent treatment can have an impact on the health of a relationship, even if the person who is silent is trying to avoid conflict.
What is the silent treatment an example of?
Ostracism and the silent treatment are often examples of emotional abuse. While some people may be more resilient to this type of abuse, others can experience it as acutely as prolonged neglect or even other physical forms of abuse.
Is silent treatment immature?
At best the silent treatment isan immature behavior used by spoiled brats and manipulativeindividuals. At worst, it is a weapon used by abusers to punish their victims. One demographic of the population that particularly loves the silent treatment is the narcissist.
Why is silence the best revenge?
Silence speaks volumes The best revenge is no reaction. Believe it, the silence and zero reaction really bothers your ex, and they consider it as the best served revenge. Nothing creates more curiosity than silence. Your ex would expect a vent or an angry rant from you, but don't give in.
How long should silent treatment last?
If the perpetrator still refuses to acknowledge the victim's existence for long periods of time, it might be right to leave the relationship. In the end, whether it lasts four hours or four decades, the silent treatment says more about the person doing it than it does about the person receiving it.
Is silent treatment good?
While sometimes the silent treatment is just a short-term way to cool down, it's when it's used as a deliberate strategy to inflict pain and control that it's a problem. That treatment is never okay to use. In fact, it is unhelpful for anything other than a very brief period.
Why is the silent treatment so painful?
Silence is used as a weapon to cut off meaningful conversations, stop the flow of information, and ultimately hurt the other person. In fact, research shows that ignoring or excluding someone activates the same area of the brain that is activated by physical pain.
Why is silence so powerful?
Silence can be a very powerful way to “be” with another person, especially when they are troubled. It can communicate acceptance of the other person as they are as of a given moment, and particularly when they have strong feelings like sorrow, fear or anger.
Why do guys use the silent treatment?
Many guys hate failing and feeling inadequate. They often don't have the speed of words to compete with their partner in a conflict. Men's emotional processing capacity is often much slower than their partner. Whilst being silent is a sign of a man's need to process it is also a way to avoid the feelings of defeat.
How do you break a silent relationship?
10 steps to break relationship silenceText a thoughtful message.Make a phone call.Apologize.Schedule a coffee date.Avoid reacting to toxicity.Give the other person space.Workshops or classes.Use the situation to create boundaries.More items...•
Does silent treatment work on a man?
Another team of researchers, in a study published in the journal Communication Research Reports in 2009, found that in romantic relationships, partners who used the silent treatment more often were less committed to their relationship.
What is silent treatment?
The silent treatment is a recognized form of abusive supervision. Other forms include: reminding the victim of past failures, failing to give proper credit, wrongfully assigning blame or blowing up in fits of temper.
Where did the term "silent treatment" come from?
Origin of term. The term originated from "treatment" through silence, which was fashionable in prisons in the 19th century. In use since the prison reforms of 1835, the silent treatment was used in prisons as an alternative to physical punishment, as it was believed that forbidding prisoners from speaking, calling them by a number rather ...
What percentage of bullying is silent treatment?
Research by the Workplace Bullying Institute suggests that "using the silent treatment to ice out & separate from others" is the fourth most common of all workplace bullying tactics experienced, and is reported in 64 percent of cases of workplace bullying. The silent treatment is a recognized form of abusive supervision.
Why is silent treatment difficult?
In a relationship, the silent treatment can be a difficult pattern to break and resolve because if it is ingrained, relationships may gradually deteriorate. Abusers punish their victims by refusing to speak to them or even acknowledge their presence.
What does silence mean in abuse?
Through silence, the abusers "loudly" communicate their displeasure, anger, upset and frustration. The consequences of this behavior on the person at the receiving end by silence are feelings of emotional hostage, incompetence and self-worthlessness. The silent treatment is sometimes used as a control mechanism.
What does it mean to refuse to communicate verbally?
Refusal to communicate verbally with someone who desires the communication. For other uses, see Silent treatment (disambiguation). Silent treatment is the refusal to communicate verbally and electronically with someone who is willing to communicate. It may range from just sulking to malevolent abusive controlling behaviour.
What is tactical ignoring?
Tactical ignoring is a strategy where a person gives no outward sign of recognizing a behavior, such as no eye contact, no verbal response, or electronic response, and no physical response . However, the person remains aware of the behavior and monitors the individual to ensure their safety and the safety of others. It is similar to, although not identical to, the silent treatment, in that tactical ignoring is a behavioral management technique that, when correctly applied, can result in the reduction of undesirable behaviors.
What is silent treatment?
The silent treatment is emotional abuse. When a victim is in a relationship with a person who causes the above mentioned distress, her mind and body remember how upsettingand anxiety provoking theprevioussilent treatment occurrences were.
Why is silent treatment not blatant?
The only person who really feels the silent treatment is the target. The person giving the silent treatment is not being overtly aggressive, abusive, or unkind in any visible way. This keeps himlooking “good” and reasonable.
Why did Swenson give Rosenquist the silent treatment?
Privately Swenson gave Rosenquist the silent treatment for allowing his work to "serve the government" at the Sao Paulo Bienal, and publicly he accused his old friend of taking the "ostrich position.". In a particularly vicious swipe, he branded fellow critic Barbara Rose "our Marie Antoinette, with all that implies.".
Does silent treatment help with relationship problems?
The silent treatment will not solve relationship problems Studies have shown that forgiveness relieves us from the burden of painful emotions such as anger, fear and bitterness and improves our wellbeing, while apologising has been linked to lower stress levels and a sense of being in control of one's life.
What is silent treatment?
The silent treatment can happen in romantic relationships or any type of relationship, including between parents and children, friends, and co-workers. It can be a fleeting reaction to a situation in which one person feels angry, frustrated, or too overwhelmed to deal with a problem.
Why do people go silent?
But some people use the silent treatment as a tool for exerting power over someone or creating emotional distance.
What to do when your spouse is silent?
If it’s your spouse or partner, you both may benefit from couples counseling or individual therapy to learn better ways to manage conflicts. When the silent treatment is part of the larger issue of emotional abuse, don’t blame yourself. It’s not your fault.
How to deal with emotional abuse?
Make it about you. Ignore it. Offer solutions. Stand up for yourself. What not to do. Signs of emotional abuse. Get help. Takeaway. If you’ve ever found yourself in a situation where you couldn’t get someone to talk to you, or even acknowledge you, you’ve experienced the silent treatment.
What to do when things escalate to emotional abuse?
When things escalate to emotional abuse, you’re not in a healthy relationship. It’s time to put yourself first. If you believe the relationship is worth salvaging: Set firm boundaries about what acceptable behavior is and how you expect to be treated.
Is silent treatment a good way to communicate?
While it’s not always malicious, the silent treatment certainly isn’t a healthy way to communicate. If the silent treatment looms large in your life, there are steps you can take to improve your relationship or remove yourself from an abusive situation. Last medically reviewed on April 30, 2019.
Is silent treatment always meant to inflict wounds?
The silent treatment isn’t always meant to inflict wounds. Sometimes, it’s an isolated incident that gets out of hand. You can let it slide until they come around and move on.
What is silent treatment?
The "Silent treatment " is when you are engaged in a relationship with someone like a parent and child or a husband and wife and one person is not talking to the other as a means of punishing them.
Why do people use silent treatment?
The person giving someone "the silent treatment" is trying to let their victim know they are displeased by taking their love away. Unfortunately what they are taking away is not their love. What is being taken away is their "approval" not love.
What is the silent treatment of emotional abuse?
No discussion of emotional abuse through words would be complete without including the absence of words as a form of abuse. This is commonly known as "the silent treatment". Abusers punish their victims by refusing to speak to them or even acknowledge their presence. Through silence, the abusers communicate their displeasure, anger, frustration, ...
What is the silent treatment for narcissism?
The Silent Treatment [Types of Emotional Child Abuse Series, Part 1] – The Invisible Scar.
How does silent treatment make you feel?
How the Silent Treatment Makes Someone Feel. The silent treatment, even if it is brief , activates the anterior cingulate cortex- the part of the brain that detects physical pain. The initial pain is the same regardless of whether the exclusion is by strangers, close friends, or enemies.
Why is silent treatment so dangerous?
When someone engages in the silent treatment they typically are not intending to do harm. However, the damage that is done is enormous, which is why it is so dangerous. It gives the person it is being done to a feeling of "worthlessness".
Does silent treatment damage relationships?
Damage to Relationships. Studies have found that the "silent treatment" does extremely serious and permanent damage to relationships..It is not abnormal when people are disagreeing to have a cool down period.
Why do people use silent treatment?
The silent treatment might be employed by passive personality types to avoid conflict and confrontation, while strong personality types use it to punish or control. Some people may not even consciously choose it at all.
How long does silent treatment last?
In the end, whether it lasts four hours or four decades, the silent treatment says more about the person doing it than it does about the person receiving it.
Why is silent treatment so insidious?
The silent treatment is a particularly insidious form of abuse because it might force the victim to reconcile with the perpetrator in an effort to end the behavior, even if the victim doesn’t know why they’re apologizing. “It’s especially controlling because it deprives both sides from weighing in,” Williams said.
How long was the silence of a wife?
A wife whose husband severed communication with her early in their marriage. “She endured four decades of silence that started with a minor disagreement and only ended when her husband died,” Williams said. Forty years of eating meals by herself, watching television by herself—40 years of being invisible.
When did Kipling Williams study silent treatment?
Getty / Adam Maida / The Atlantic. March 26, 2021. Kipling Williams has studied the effects of the silent treatment for more than 36 years, meeting hundreds of victims and perpetrators in the process: A grown woman whose father refused to speak with her for six months at a time as punishment throughout her life.
What does it mean to voice the pain of being ignored?
To “voice the pain of being ignored” is a constructive way of expressing one’s feelings, and may elicit a change if the relationship is truly founded on care, Margaret Clark, a psychology professor at Yale, told me in an email.

Overview
Silent treatment is the refusal to communicate verbally and electronically with someone who is willing to communicate. It may range from just sulking to malevolent abusive controlling behaviour. It may be a passive-aggressive form of emotional abuse in which displeasure, disapproval and contempt is exhibited through nonverbal gestures while maintaining verbal silence. Clinical psychologist Harriet Braiker identifies it as a form of manipulative punishment. It may be used a…
Origin of term
The term originated from "treatment" through silence, which was fashionable in prisons in the 19th century. In use since the prison reforms of 1835 , the silent treatment was used in prisons as an alternative to physical punishment, as it was believed that forbidding prisoners from speaking, calling them by a number rather than their name, and making them cover their faces so they couldn't see each other would encourage reflection on their crimes.
In personal relationships
In a relationship, the silent treatment can be a difficult pattern to break and resolve because if it is ingrained, relationships may gradually deteriorate. Abusers punish their victims by refusing to speak to them or even acknowledge their presence. Through silence, the abusers "loudly" communicate their displeasure, anger, upset and frustration. The consequences of this behavior on the person at the receiving end by silence are feelings of emotional hostage, incompetence and …
In the workplace
Research by the Workplace Bullying Institute suggests that "using the silent treatment to ice out & separate from others" is the fourth most common of all workplace bullying tactics experienced, and is reported in 64 percent of cases of workplace bullying. The silent treatment is a recognized form of abusive supervision. Other forms include: reminding the victim of past failures, failing to give proper credit, wrongfully assigning blame or blowing up in fits of temper.
Tactical ignoring
Tactical ignoring is a strategy where a person gives no outward sign of recognizing a behavior, such as no eye contact, no verbal or physical response, or acknowledgment that a message has been read. However, the person remains aware of the behavior and monitors the individual to observe what the individual has planned and ensure their safety or the safety of others. It is similar to the silent treatment because tactical ignoring is a behavioral management technique t…
See also
• Cold shoulder
• Destabilisation
• Ghosting (behavior) also known as simmering or icing
• Guilt trip
• Isolation to facilitate abuse
Further reading
• The “silent treatment”. Its incidence and impact. Paper presented at the sixty-ninth Annual Midwestern Psychological Association, Chicago, IL. Ferguson, M., and .. 1997
• Kipling D. Williams Wendelyn J. Shore Jon E. Grahe. The silent treatment: Perceptions of its behaviors and associated feelings – Group Processes Intergroup Relations October 1998 vol. 1 no. 2 117–141
External links
• What's up with the Silent Treatment?
• Research: Office silent treatment ‘worse than bullying’
• The Silent Treatment: Are You Getting the Cold Shoulder?
• The Silent Marriage: How Passive Aggression Steals Your Happiness (The Complete Guide to Passive Aggression) [Kindle Edition]|