Does the silent treatment really work?
Jun 08, 2020 · The silent treatment is a refusal to communicate verbally with another person. People who use the silent treatment may even refuse to acknowledge the presence of the other person. People use the...
What is the best way to handle the silent treatment?
Mar 24, 2022 · The silent treatment is when one person refuses to talk to or otherwise communicate with another. While it’s normal to cool down after an argument or frustrating conversation, the silent treatment is often used over a longer period of time and as a way for the silent person to punish or control the person they are ignoring.
When you should use the silent treatment?
The silent treatment is one means for himto keep his targetunder his control. Not only does it enable the abuser to control his target, it also enables him …
How to respond when someone gives you the silent treatment?
Apr 30, 2019 · The silent treatment can happen in romantic relationships or any type of relationship, including between parents and children, friends, and co-workers. It can be a fleeting reaction to a situation...
Why do people give the silent treatment?
Sometimes, a person may give someone the silent treatment because they are too angry, hurt, or overwhelmed to speak. They may be afraid of saying something that makes the situation worse. In these cases, it can be helpful for each person to take some time to cool off before getting together to discuss the issue calmly.Jun 8, 2020
What is the silent treatment an example of?
Ostracism and the silent treatment are often examples of emotional abuse. While some people may be more resilient to this type of abuse, others can experience it as acutely as prolonged neglect or even other physical forms of abuse.Nov 27, 2018
What type of person gives the silent treatment?
Research. Researchers have found that the silent treatment is used by both men and women to terminate a partner's behaviors or words rather than to elicit them. 1 In abusive relationships, the silent treatment is used to manipulate the other person and to establish power over them.Jun 1, 2020
What is the meaning of silent treatment?
Definition of silent treatment : an act of completely ignoring a person or thing by resort to silence especially as a means of expressing contempt or disapproval.
How do you win the silent treatment?
Maintain your dignity and try these six strategies.Look for the reasons behind the silent treatment. ... Share the psychology behind silent treatment. ... Avoid reacting to silent abuse. ... Respond with calmness and speak kindly. ... State your boundaries clearly. ... Take care of yourself. ... Consider professional therapy.Apr 26, 2021
Is silent treatment toxic?
Why the Silent Treatment Is So Harmful When you're on the receiving end of the silent treatment, you may feel powerless, disrespected, invisible, frustrated, or angry — or you may cycle through all of these emotions. “Many people feel powerless because we as humans are inherently social creatures.Mar 10, 2021
What does silence do to a woman?
Findings from his in-depth analysis revealed that the silent treatment is 'tremendously' damaging to a relationship. It decreases relationship satisfaction for both partners, diminishes feelings of intimacy, and reduces the capacity to communicate in a way that's healthy and meaningful.
Is silence a form of emotional abuse?
People who use the silent treatment as a means of control want to put you in your place. They'll give you the cold shoulder for days or weeks on end to achieve those goals. This is emotional abuse.Apr 30, 2019
How long does the silent treatment last?
If the perpetrator still refuses to acknowledge the victim's existence for long periods of time, it might be right to leave the relationship. In the end, whether it lasts four hours or four decades, the silent treatment says more about the person doing it than it does about the person receiving it.Mar 26, 2021
Is giving the silent treatment immature?
At best the silent treatment isan immature behavior used by spoiled brats and manipulativeindividuals. At worst, it is a weapon used by abusers to punish their victims.Jul 11, 2016
Does silent treatment work on a man?
Paul Schrodt, Professor of Communication reviewed 74 relationship studies and the findings of his in-depth analysis revealed that silent treatment could be tremendously damaging to a relationship and it diminishes feelings of intimacy and reduces healthy interaction, says this article.Nov 27, 2021
What effect does the silent treatment have?
This decreases intimacy and trust between partners, and can cause anxiety and aggressive behavior. The silent treatment may become a pattern, which hinders the ability to communicate effectively. Many people don't realize the dangers of engaging in the silent treatment, which only adds to the problem.Mar 3, 2022
What is silent treatment?
The silent treatment is emotional abuse. When a victim is in a relationship with a person who causes the above mentioned distress, her mind and body remember how upsettingand anxiety provoking theprevioussilent treatment occurrences were.
Why is silent treatment not blatant?
The only person who really feels the silent treatment is the target. The person giving the silent treatment is not being overtly aggressive, abusive, or unkind in any visible way. This keeps himlooking “good” and reasonable.
What is silent treatment?
The silent treatment can happen in romantic relationships or any type of relationship, including between parents and children, friends, and co-workers. It can be a fleeting reaction to a situation in which one person feels angry, frustrated, or too overwhelmed to deal with a problem.
Why do people go silent?
But some people use the silent treatment as a tool for exerting power over someone or creating emotional distance.
What to do when your spouse is silent?
If it’s your spouse or partner, you both may benefit from couples counseling or individual therapy to learn better ways to manage conflicts. When the silent treatment is part of the larger issue of emotional abuse, don’t blame yourself. It’s not your fault.
How to deal with emotional abuse?
Make it about you. Ignore it. Offer solutions. Stand up for yourself. What not to do. Signs of emotional abuse. Get help. Takeaway. If you’ve ever found yourself in a situation where you couldn’t get someone to talk to you, or even acknowledge you, you’ve experienced the silent treatment.
What to do when things escalate to emotional abuse?
When things escalate to emotional abuse, you’re not in a healthy relationship. It’s time to put yourself first. If you believe the relationship is worth salvaging: Set firm boundaries about what acceptable behavior is and how you expect to be treated.
Is silent treatment a good way to communicate?
While it’s not always malicious, the silent treatment certainly isn’t a healthy way to communicate. If the silent treatment looms large in your life, there are steps you can take to improve your relationship or remove yourself from an abusive situation. Last medically reviewed on April 30, 2019.
Is silent treatment always meant to inflict wounds?
The silent treatment isn’t always meant to inflict wounds. Sometimes, it’s an isolated incident that gets out of hand. You can let it slide until they come around and move on.
What is the purpose of ignoring behavior?
The aim is to provide the person with positive and quality attention for displaying appropriate behaviors, or for not displaying the undesired behavior. When the person displays the undesired behavior in order to gain attention, the planned ignoring strategy is to ignore the behavior.
What percentage of bullying is silent treatment?
Research by the Workplace Bullying Institute suggests that "using the silent treatment to ice out & separate from others" is the fourth most common of all workplace bullying tactics experienced, and is reported in 64 percent of cases of workplace bullying. The silent treatment is a recognized form of abusive supervision.
What is tactical ignoring?
Tactical ignoring is a strategy where a person gives no outward sign of recognizing a behavior, such as no eye contact, no verbal response, or electronic response, and no physical response . However, the person remains aware of the behavior and monitors the individual to ensure their safety and the safety of others. It is similar to, although not identical to, the silent treatment, in that tactical ignoring is a behavioral management technique that, when correctly applied, can result in the reduction of undesirable behaviors.
Why is silent treatment difficult?
In a relationship, the silent treatment can be a difficult pattern to break and resolve because if it is ingrained, relationships may gradually deteriorate. Abusers punish their victims by refusing to speak to them or even acknowledge their presence.
What does silence mean in abuse?
Through silence, the abusers "loudly" communicate their displeasure, anger, upset and frustration. The consequences of this behavior on the person at the receiving end by silence are feelings of emotional hostage, incompetence and self-worthlessness. The silent treatment is sometimes used as a control mechanism.
What is silent treatment?
The silent treatment is a recognized form of abusive supervision. Other forms include: reminding the victim of past failures, failing to give proper credit, wrongfully assigning blame or blowing up in fits of temper.
What does it mean to refuse to communicate verbally?
Refusal to communicate verbally with someone who desires the communication. For other uses, see Silent treatment (disambiguation). Silent treatment is the refusal to communicate verbally and electronically with someone who is willing to communicate. It may range from just sulking to malevolent abusive controlling behaviour.
Why do people go silent?
Sakurai collected the most common reasons from clients, support group members, and online surveys, to why people choose to go silent. These include: 1 They have been victims of emotional abuse themselves and see silent treatment as revenge. 2 They are narcissistic by nature. 3 They are not good at expressing themselves. 4 To punish the other person. 5 To control the other person / manipulate the situation. 6 To inflict emotional pain. 7 They feel they weren’t taken seriously, so communication just seems pointless. 8 Feeling too overwhelmed to talk about or deal with the issue. 9 Afraid of their temper. 10 Afraid of how the other person will react to what they have to say. 11 Hoping time will make the problem go away. 12 To inflict the pain they were put through.
What is silent treatment?
Silent treatment is a form of emotional abuse. It’s a control tactic used to confuse the victim and cause anxiety. It is a form of manipulation and it hurts to be on the receiving end.
How to stop someone from being angry?
respond in anger, which can just escalate things. beg or plead, which only encourages the behavior. apologize just to put an end to it, even though you did nothing wrong. continuing to try reasoning with the other person after you’ve already given it a shot.
Is silent treatment a defensive tactic?
The silent treatment isn’t always meant to hurt you. Sometimes, it’s a defensive mechanism or they simply don’t know how to respond yet. While other times it is a passive-aggressive tactic to hold control over you. “In these cases, what they want is for you to feel bad enough to make the first move.
What is the silent treatment?
As the term implies, someone who engages in the silent treatment stops talking to you. You want to communicate, and the other person refuses.
Is the individual expressing pain?
If you search online for information about the silent treatment, you’ll find articles saying that the individual is hurt or needs space in order to deal with whatever happened. The advice is to do nothing, give the person space, and talk when he or she is ready.
Sociopaths and the silent treatment
The most important thing to understand about sociopaths is that they are fundamentally incapable of a normal loving relationship. They do not have the ability to put another person’s needs before their own. They do not value human connection. The inability to love is the root of their personality disorder, and it will not change.
4 warning signs of a sociopathic silent treatment
How do you know whether the individual giving you the silent treatment is hurt or a sociopath? Here are four warning signs of disorder:
Escaping the damage
Sociopaths use the silent treatment to exert power and control over you, and it works. You feel like you’re wrong, a failure and not worth talking to. Each time you apologize for something you did not do, you lose a bit more of your self-esteem. The longer you stay in the relationship, the more worthless you will feel.
How to get rid of the silent treatment?
2. Take a break. Familiarise yourself with a time-out (opens in a new tab). It’s a really useful strategy when you’re feeling too overwhelmed to think straight.
Why do I have to take a good look at my relationship?
If your partner or spouse has been giving you the silent treatment for a month, a week or even a day, I’d like you to take a good look at your relationship because chances are you’re in a toxic relationship. Perhaps that comes as a shock, or you’ve known all along that you’re in a bad relationship.
What does it mean when your partner stops talking to you?
If your partner seems to have stopped talking to you out of the blue or after a fight, clearly the two of you are having a conflict – even if you weren’t aware that you’d done something ‘wrong’.
Is it safe to ignore your spouse?
Keep in mind…. there are no benefits of the silent treatment, though your spouse or partner may feel safer having built a wall of silence around them. you have the right to feel safe in your relationship – physically and emotionally – when your spouse ignores you, it’s hard to feel safe.
Is the silent treatment good?
No, the silent treatment is seldom a good idea. When you’re using the silent treatment, you’re attempting to manipulate and control your partner or spouse. I can understand your resorting to not responding to your partner or spouse if they continue to batter your ears over something you really don’t want to talk about.
Can you change your partner's therapy?
you are not your partner’s therapist. you cannot change your partner, and neither should you change yourself to fit in with their demands beyond reasonable compromises. ‘giving back’ the silent treatment will result in a competition detrimental to the survival of your relationship.
Is silent treatment a sign of a toxic relationship?
At worst, it can be a sign of a toxic relationship. At best, it’s an unhealthy attempt to make upset and displeasure clear and to provoke guilt and atonement. The above steps will help you to handle the silent treatment with dignity.
How does estrangement affect your life?
In time, estrangement may eat away at self-esteem, confidence, and quality of life. Both the silent treatment and estrangement can leave rejectees feeling powerless and resentful. Many decide to walk away from rejection, leaving the rejecter with nothing more to do.
What happens when one person pulls away from another?
Estrangement happens when one person pulls away from another in order to protect him or herself from experiencing harm. In the case of family estrangement, painful interpersonal dynamics can reach a breaking point at which one person says, “I can’t do this anymore.”. They may not say it out loud.
What is silent treatment?
As its name indicates, the silent treatment is something that’s done to somebody. It’s done on purpose, and its purpose is to send the message, “I don’t like what you did.”. In contrast, while estrangement often feels punitive when you're on the receiving end, punishment is not necessarily the intent.
Is estrangement a silent epidemic?
Estrangement is a silent epidemic affecting all kinds of people. The antidote, for many, is better communication. Children should never learn what the silent treatment is, or how to apply it, or what it feels like to be on the receiving end.
Is the pain of estrangement short lived?
The pain of the experience may be intense, but it’s short-lived. There’s the conviction that “this will be over one day,” making it psychologically manageable, albeit very unpleasant. The pain of estrangement is also intense, but it’s potentially an ache without a cure. Eventual relief is a hope, not a given.
Is self protection a silent treatment?
The excuse/reason of self-protection may make estrangement seem more palatable than the silent treatment. But it's still the silent treatment, and it's still punishment regardless of whether or not it contains a hope for the other person to change, or the conclusion that they will never change.
Do people who detach and go silent still give the silent treatment?
More correct would be that the person is giving the silent treatment because they are detaching. But the silent treatment is only one form of detaching.
Overview
Silent treatment is the refusal to communicate verbally and electronically with someone who is willing to communicate. It may range from just sulking to malevolent abusive controlling behaviour. It may be a passive-aggressive form of emotional abuse in which displeasure, disapproval and contempt is exhibited through nonverbal gestures while maintaining verbal silence. Clinical psychologist Harriet Braiker identifies it as a form of manipulative punishment. It may be used a…
Origin of term
The term originated from "treatment" through silence, which was fashionable in prisons in the 19th century. In use since the prison reforms of 1835 , the silent treatment was used in prisons as an alternative to physical punishment, as it was believed that forbidding prisoners from speaking, calling them by a number rather than their name, and making them cover their faces so they couldn't see each other would encourage reflection on their crimes.
In personal relationships
In a relationship, the silent treatment can be a difficult pattern to break and resolve because if it is ingrained, relationships may gradually deteriorate. Abusers punish their victims by refusing to speak to them or even acknowledge their presence. Through silence, the abusers "loudly" communicate their displeasure, anger, upset and frustration. The consequences of this behavior on the person at the receiving end by silence are feelings of emotional hostage, incompetence and …
In the workplace
Research by the Workplace Bullying Institute suggests that "using the silent treatment to ice out & separate from others" is the fourth most common of all workplace bullying tactics experienced, and is reported in 64 percent of cases of workplace bullying. The silent treatment is a recognized form of abusive supervision. Other forms include: reminding the victim of past failures, failing to give proper credit, wrongfully assigning blame or blowing up in fits of temper.
Tactical ignoring
Tactical ignoring is a strategy where a person gives no outward sign of recognizing a behavior, such as no eye contact, no verbal or physical response, or acknowledgment that a message has been read. However, the person remains aware of the behavior and monitors the individual to ensure their safety and the safety of others. It is similar to the silent treatment because tactical ignoring is a behavioral management technique that, when correctly applied, can result in the re…
See also
• Cold shoulder
• Destabilisation
• Guilt trip
• Isolation to facilitate abuse
• Ostracism
Further reading
• The “silent treatment”. Its incidence and impact. Paper presented at the sixty-ninth Annual Midwestern Psychological Association, Chicago, IL. Ferguson, M., and .. 1997
• Kipling D. Williams Wendelyn J. Shore Jon E. Grahe. The silent treatment: Perceptions of its behaviors and associated feelings – Group Processes Intergroup Relations October 1998 vol. 1 no. 2 117–141
External links
• What's up with the Silent Treatment?
• Research: Office silent treatment ‘worse than bullying’
• The Silent Treatment: Are You Getting the Cold Shoulder?
• The Silent Marriage: How Passive Aggression Steals Your Happiness (The Complete Guide to Passive Aggression) [Kindle Edition]|