Treatment FAQ

what goes on during a silent treatment with a narcissist

by Ahmad Leannon Published 3 years ago Updated 2 years ago
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If you wonder what a silent treatment actually is, it is nothing but the intentional act of ignoring someone for a certain amount of time. The silent treatment is the no1 weapon used by narcissists during which the narcissist acts as if you are non-existent and even refuses to communicate, even if you tried doing so.

Basically, the silent treatment is a passive-aggressive behavior by which an abuser communicates some sort of negative message to the intended victim that only the perpetrator and the victim recognize through nonverbal communication.Mar 12, 2020

Full Answer

What happens when you give a narcissist the silent treatment?

When you start to give the silent treatment to the narcissist, the narcissist immediately finds it offending and hurting. As narcissists can’t tolerate being ignored, the act of silent treatment strikes the narcissist much harder than the normal people.

Why do narcissists give you the silent treatment?

The silent treatment of a narcissist is almost like a self defense mechanism. When they are threatened, according to their psyche, to a compromise or a situation that they don’t want to be in, they will play their cards and want the other person to retrace their steps. The silent treatment is pretty similar to a bad breakup.

How to shut down the narcissist during the silent treatment?

Shut down the narcissist’s silent treatment by getting some perspective.

  • Take some breaths and look at the situation from a bit of a distance.
  • See that this is THEIR pattern and a way for the narcissist to never have to take accountability or resolve any issue in the relationship.
  • Your need for connection, resolve and care will not be met by engaging with the silent treatment.

How to respond when someone gives you the silent treatment?

  • Never beg or plead. It might stop the silent treatment for the time being but it will most definitely come up again.
  • Do not retaliate. It just escalates things.
  • Do not apologize when it is not your mistake. ...
  • Do not undermine yourself. ...
  • Do not excuse the behavior. ...
  • Do not broadcast. ...
  • Do not build a mountain out of a molehill. ...

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What happens when you go silent on a narcissist?

If you ignore a narcissist and deny them their source, they may become enraged and try even harder for your attention – especially in ways that can be toxic or abusive. Ignoring a narcissist will enrage them because of their fragile egos. They'll feel humiliated and lash out against you to protect themselves.

How do you outsmart a narcissist silent treatment?

7:5112:05How to Outsmart Narcissists Silent Treatment End the Pain TodayYouTubeStart of suggested clipEnd of suggested clipBut you're allowed to stay healthy. And to engage in behaviors that make you feel proud of yourselfMoreBut you're allowed to stay healthy. And to engage in behaviors that make you feel proud of yourself that make you feel empowered. So you observe it and you respond.

How do you react when a narcissist ignores you?

6:509:30When the Narcissist Ignores You, Do This #gamesnarcissistsplayYouTubeStart of suggested clipEnd of suggested clipIt's only going to encourage them to do it again. So just don't do that. Okay you know like i saidMoreIt's only going to encourage them to do it again. So just don't do that. Okay you know like i said don't obsess.

Does the silent treatment mean you have been discarded by the narcissist?

People with narcissistic tendencies tend to see people as objects to meet their needs and will discard when it is no longer met or the person adds no value. Their pattern of relationship is to idealise, devalue and then discard. Silent treatment is a temporary discard.

What does cutting off all contact with a narcissist do to them?

Breaking up with a narcissist is likely to be a draining experience. Either they won't let you go without a fight, or they will discard you without looking back. Both experiences are extremely hurtful.

How long should the silent treatment last?

Ideally no more than 1 hour, hopefully less. Say “I will be back in *** (time) to continue the discussion” even if you can only manage to come back to agree to close it down for the time being, or take the matter to counselling.

How do you respond to silent treatment?

How to respondName the situation. Acknowledge that someone is using the silent treatment. ... Use 'I' statements. ... Acknowledge the other person's feelings. ... Apologize for words or actions. ... Cool off and arrange a time to resolve the issue. ... Avoid unhelpful responses.

Why do narcissists go silent?

Essentially, the point of the silent treatment is to make the victim feel confused, stressed, guilty, ashamed, not good enough, or unstable enough so that they would do what the manipulator wants.

How do you make a narcissist miserable?

14 Ways to Make a Narcissist Miserable:Lack of Attention.Doing something they don't like.Losing.Logic and Facts.Boundaries.Critical Thinking.Spontaneous Behavior.Someone else's Success.More items...•

Do narcissists return after silent treatment?

More often, the narcissist will go silent for some period of time, and then return as if nothing happened. They may have found a new source of supply but had a falling out with them and now they need something from you. Your best bet is to ignore them the way they ignored you earlier.

What triggers the narcissist to want you back?

They may be pretending like they want you back just to get a reaction out of you, just to see if they still have some power over you, if they can still control you. Seeing that they're still able to control your emotions will make them feel powerful.

How do you know if a narcissist is finished with you?

How to Know if a Narcissist Is Finished with You They show no emotion. They criticize you constantly. They blame you for everything. They're always irritated or angry. They pick fights over trivial things. They take advantage of you. They withhold physical affection. They accuse you of cheating.More items...•

How do you get a narcissist to talk to you again?

If you give the narcissist a sense that you find him or her special, you will find an attentive listener.Silence is the key.Less talk.Keep your interaction short.Keep your words to an absolute minimum.Don't encourage their bragging.Don't give them special treatment.Avoid arguments.More items...•

Why do narcissists go silent?

Essentially, the point of the silent treatment is to make the victim feel confused, stressed, guilty, ashamed, not good enough, or unstable enough so that they would do what the manipulator wants.

How do you respond to silent treatment?

How to respondName the situation. Acknowledge that someone is using the silent treatment. ... Use 'I' statements. ... Acknowledge the other person's feelings. ... Apologize for words or actions. ... Cool off and arrange a time to resolve the issue. ... Avoid unhelpful responses.

What to say to disarm a narcissist?

What to Say to Disarm a Narcissist“I don't agree with you, but you have a right to have your opinion. ... “You are certainly entitled to your opinion. ... “We can agree to disagree.”“We will work on this together.”“Let me ask your advice on this. ... “I hear what you're saying.”“I'm sorry you feel that way.”More items...•

Causes

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Narcissism is a personality disorder that stems from a persons psyche. Narcissism cannot be imbibed or induced. It is self developed. There are many reasons why a person may grow up to become a narcissist, in which dysfunctional families and several psychological factors play an integral role. When a narcissist feels that hi…
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Introduction

  • Being in a relationship with a narcissist can be very challenging and often unrewarding. Psychologists claim that a romantic relationship with a narcissist is actually based on a lie. A narcissist is a self absorbed person and he or she is incapable of loving someone truly because they are actually in love with their own selves. There is nothing and no one more important than …
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Characteristics

  • A narcissist has several tactics which he or she uses to control the person they are in a relationship with and they also invest their strategies to control the relationship itself. A narcissist is incapable of allowing himself or herself to go on a freewheeling ride where things are not under their control but that of lifes circumstances, which are a consequence of both people involved a…
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Mechanism

  • The silent treatment of a narcissist is almost like a self defense mechanism. When they are threatened, according to their psyche, to a compromise or a situation that they dont want to be in, they will play their cards and want the other person to retrace their steps.
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Effects

  • The silent treatment is pretty similar to a bad breakup. The narcissist will stop talking to the person, will not take their calls, not respond to the texts and if one is living in with the narcissist then there would be a cold shoulder at all times. There will be no confrontation, no emotional engagement or physical intimacy and the narcissist wil...
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Treatment

  • The narcissistic silent treatment is very difficult to bear, especially in relationships that are relatively old or have progressed through the initial phases of dating. Unfortunately, it is difficult to counter the silent treatment without opting for intervention for the narcissist in the first place. If the problem is not cured at the root then the symptom of the silent treatment cannot be done a…
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