Treatment FAQ

what do you say to a cancer patient who doesnt want treatment

by Johnpaul Bayer Published 3 years ago Updated 2 years ago
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Just say something. Many people ignore cancer patients and caregivers when they're diagnosed because they don't know what to say. But that only makes them feel worse. Sometimes "hello" or "I love you" is enough. "You are strong. You can do this." "This sucks. I love you. I'm going to [help by ___ ]." "Never, never, never give up." Just listen.

Full Answer

What is something you should not say to someone with cancer?

Do NOT say « Cancer stinks ». Cancer is a dreadfully smart disease , it needs to be treated with intelligence and dedication. Not to be liken to garbage…

What can I say to a cancer patient or caregiver?

Many people ignore cancer patients and caregivers when they're diagnosed because they don't know what to say. But that only makes them feel worse. Sometimes "hello" or "I love you" is enough. "You are strong. You can do this." "This sucks. I love you. I'm going to [help by ___ ]." "Never, never, never give up." Just listen.

Is it difficult to talk to a cancer patient?

Although talking to a cancer patient and/or a cancer survivor might be uncomfortable, with a bit of forethought it doesn’t have to be difficult. Unfortunately, I learned the hard way (as a breast cancer survivor) that there are right and wrong ways of dealing with cancer patients.

What do you say to someone who is walking through cancer?

as someone who walked through treatment for a Stage 4, my main belief was “I am not this cancer”. for my dear friends walking through any stage of cancer…I see them in their ‘highest state of health’ and send them unconditional love and blessings daily. I continue to speak to their ‘essence’ and hold them gently, strongly, steadfast, and fiercely.

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What do you do if someone refuses treatment for cancer?

If you feel your loved one is refusing treatment because of denial, or because of fear of undergoing treatment, talk to the oncologist. You may want to visit a counselor or support group together.

How do you convince a cancer patient to get treated?

AdvertisementDecide how much you want to know. While most people want to know exactly what their treatment is and their survival chances, others don't. ... Decide how you want to make your treatment decisions. ... Have realistic expectations. ... Keep the focus on you. ... Accept help.

What should you not say to a cancer patient?

Don't minimize their experience. Try not to say, "Don't worry, you'll be fine." You don't know that. Instead say, "I'm really sorry," or "I hope it will be okay." And don't refer to his or her cancer as "the good cancer." These statements downplay what he or she is going through.

What do you say to someone who is struggling with chemo?

If you're struggling to find the right words, here are 12 kind things to say to someone with cancer:“I'm here for you.” ... “You are in my thoughts and prayers.” ... “This stinks.” ... “Let me help you with…” ... Tell a Joke. ... “You are not alone.” ... “Any time you need to talk, I'll listen.” ... “What day works for a visit?”More items...•

Why do some cancer patients refuse treatment?

Cognitive aspects—where my cancer is, what my odds are—are only part of patients' decision-making, so we need to understand their emotions.” Emotions that drive refusal for treatment may stem from exhaustion, depression, or a desire not to be a burden to loved ones.

How do you give an emotional support to a cancer patient?

Here are 7 tips to maintain or improve emotional well-being for cancer patients and caregivers:Talk to someone who is not a family member. ... Continue with daily activities, but modify if necessary. ... Plan ahead. ... Find support that works for you. ... Balance in-person and online support. ... Tap your community. ... Reach out.

What does a cancer patient want to hear?

Instead of hearing “What can I do?” cancer patients want to hear that you already have a specific task in mind. Many cancer patients will decline needing help when they are asked the broad question “What can I help with?” Choose something specific and get started on it.

What do you say to a friend who is struggling with cancer?

Helpful Things to Say to a Person with Cancer“I don't know exactly what to say, but please know how much I care.”“What can I do for you?”“I'm always here if you ever want to talk.”“I'm so sorry this happened to you.”Use humor, but only if you know it will be received positively. ... No words, just listen.

How do you keep a cancer patient happy?

Bring in some positivity. Most of the patients feel like their life has already come to an end with the break of the illness. ... Be normal. ... Get well informed. ... Help plan finances. ... Plan for future. ... Indulge in mind-body relaxation techniques. ... Care for your own health.

How do you deal with a loved one with a terminal illness?

Eat well, get plenty of rest and get some exercise. Some people find it helps to write down how they feel about their loved one. Some people find it helps to go to a support group and talk to others who have lost people close to them. Be patient with yourself.

How do terminal patients feel?

It's normal to feel shock, sadness, anger and helplessness. But for some people, the feeling they're unable to cope with their situation does not go away, and they feel too low to be able to do any of the things they want to. If this happens to you and these feelings persist, it may be helpful to talk to a doctor.

What do you say to someone waiting for medical results?

This should be your friend's time to talk about what he or she needs to talk about. It is tempting to say, "You will be fine," but you both know that you can't make that guarantee. Instead, a more helpful thing to say would be something like "I'll be here for you, no matter what the test results reveal."

Why did Joan Crawford refuse treatment?

In the 1960s, film actress Joan Crawford refused treatment for her pancreatic cancer because of her faith as a Christian Scientist.

What is the importance of preparing for the end of your life?

That means getting important documents together, and storing them with a lawyer or in a safe deposit box. That might include insurance records, bank statements, trusts, and a will.

Is refusing cancer treatment a medical decision?

That’s why it’s important to recognize that refusing cancer treatment is not only a medical decision, but a personal decision, as well.

Can cancer be cured?

It’s not the easiest thing in the world to come to grips with, but not all cancer cases can be cured. Sometimes, cancer progresses to a point where it can’t be treated, and sometimes treatment simply stops working. Even when treatment may extend a person’s life, some people find that the side effects of that treatment makes life unbearable.

What to say to someone who has cancer?

For someone diagnosed with cancer, certain words can be comforting or hurtful. Dr. Dale Atkins and cancer survivors shared advice on talking to people facing the disease. Keep in mind, everyone is different. What may work for one person may not work for others. Let them know you care You can't keep reassuring them that "everything will be OK" — but you can assure them you will go through this

How to help people with cancer who have died?

Don't relay terrible stories about people with cancer who have died. Don't be judgmental about therapy. Even if you don't agree with a treatment plan, be supportive anyway. Relate your own experiences to them. If something was helpful in your own personal experience, it's OK to share it.

What advice did Dale Atkins give to cancer survivors?

Dale Atkins and cancer survivors shared advice on talking to people facing the disease. Keep in mind, everyone is different. What may work for one person may not work for others. You can't keep reassuring them that "everything will be OK" — but you can assure them you will go through this process together.

What to do after breast cancer treatment?

10 things to do now to reduce your breast cancer risk later. Be open-minded. Many people often say "congratulations" after the person finished chemotherapy, but it may not always be a good thing.

How to reduce breast cancer risk?

Be as normal as possible. Try to include the person in as many plans you can and alter the plans if he or she can't join you. Don't be afraid to give a hug, foot massage or a manicure, if that's natural and part of your friendship. 10 things to do now to reduce your breast cancer risk later. Be open-minded.

How to keep people from thinking of cancer?

And keep calling. Stay in touch, because a cancer illness can last a long time. Send cards/notes/emails regularly, to let that person know you're thinking of him or her. Not many words are needed, but rather the knowledge there are people who care and are thinking of you. Keep asking to do something, or just do it.

Can you listen to someone who has cancer?

This is generally not a great response when someone is diagnosed with cancer. People may feel this way after they go through it, but let them come to their own conclusions. This isn't about you. You can listen without always feeling that you need to respond.

Why are positive statements bad for cancer survivors?

No matter where someone is in their journey, cancer survivors ALWAYS have a voice in the back of their head reminding them that they might die from their cancer.

How to be unnaturally positive?

Tell them that you care about them and acknowledge that, although you don’t know how they feel, you get that it’s making life difficult. And offer to help. What they want and need most from you is to feel like you’re there and won’t abandon them. So, do that by saying:

What is vague offer?

Vague offers such as “let me know if you need anything” are half-hearted and empty (and are usually motivated to ease your guilt as opposed to truly helping). When asking how you can help, be as specific as you can about what you’d like to help them with. Before offering, consider: what they might need help with;

Why is it important to ask thoughtful questions?

With respect to people that you’re close to, don’t forget to ask thoughtful questions that are geared toward checking in and seeing if they need anything. Asking questions shows compassion and kindness. And it shows that you’re willing to be there for them.

Can cancer survivors find silver linings?

It’s not your place. Silver-linings should only be found by the cancer survivor, should they want to. Here are a few examples of what I’m talking about (all are real-life examples from yours truly): “You look great with all the weight you’ve lost.” [This is a seriously back-handed compliment.]

Is it awkward to talk about cancer?

Talking about cancer and someone’s cancer journey is awkward and makes everyone feel vulnerable. And humans really don’t like vulnerability, do they? Although talking to a cancer patient and/or a cancer survivor might be uncomfortable, with a bit of forethought it doesn’t have to be difficult.

Do supplements interact negatively with treatment?

Some supplements interact negatively with treatment. And people have a right to choose their own doctors. Besides, they have plenty of medical professionals helping them make informed decisions. You don’t know better than the patient, so don’t act like you do.

Why is it important to hear the word "cancer"?

This is important because cancer treatment poses many risks for individuals, not the least of which are treatment-related side effects and long-term effects.

Why do people with slow growing tumors feel the need to act?

This is because the word “cancer” makes the diagnosis feel urgent, and it is hard to feel like one is "doing nothing.".

Can prostate cancer cause shortening of life?

In addition, we know that some cancers, such as prostate cancer, may not cause a person any serious harm or even shorten their lives if they are left untreated. The researchers in this study presented an imaginary scenario to volunteers using a web-based survey.

Can cancer be treated?

The researchers found that using the "cancer" label led many people to choose surgery. This tells us that the perceptions and fears associated with a cancer diagnosis may lead reasonable people to opt for more treatment, even if they are reassu red that it is possible to watch and wait and that they may never need treatment.

What happens when you die from cancer?

The most frequent outcome when cancer patients die is that whatever pain they have is controlled with narcotics and or sedatives. There often comes a point in poorly treatable cancer situations that the treatment is as bad or worse than the disease.

Why do people decline chemotherapy?

Many patients decline chemotherapy for low odds of benefit especially if they have gotten very weak or have other symptoms that make their quality of life very poor. This question originally appeared on Quora - the place to gain and share knowledge, empowering people to learn from others and better understand the world.

Can cancer be treated with radiation?

Cancers metastatic to bone are often painful but in some cases the discomfort is mild or more severe pain can be relieved with radiation therapy. There are specialists who assist in managing ...

Is pancreatic cancer bad for you?

Some cancers are more associated with pain than others. Pancreatic cancer can be particularly bad when it grows into nerves near the back of the pancreas. But I’ve had many patients with pancreatic cancer where pain wasn’t a problem. Instead, like many other patients with advanced cancers, they became weaker and more frail as their cancer worsened, ...

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