What are the benefits of military spouses?
Military spouses understand the stress each other faces on the job every day, and can help each other cope with the challenges they deal with. They can pack each other's gear and even if they're not stationed together, can be a sounding board for each other during challenging periods in their respective tours of duty.
Do military couples put duty before their marriage?
1. Military couples put duty first -- not their marriages. While common marriage advice holds that a person should place his or her marriage above all else, military spouses often don't.
What are some misconceptions about military marriage?
A misconception about military marriage is that it frequently involves infidelity, according to Perkins. "People sometimes assume that lots of military wives cheat when their husbands deploy," she said. "I don't doubt that it happens.
What happens to military benefits when you get divorced?
The only exception for this is for divorcing spouses who meet the 20/20/20 rule -- at least 20 years married to a service member who was in the military for at least 20 years, with an at least 20-year overlap of the marriage and the time in service. In that case, the spouse carries the benefit through a divorce.
What are the benefits of getting married while in the military?
Many military benefits and resources are available to spouses.Access to commissaries and exchanges.Free gyms, libraries and other recreation opportunities.Free tax services.Free, confidential non-medical counseling services.Help with education and career goals.Military discounts.
Does the military pay more if your married?
Although not known as "military marriage pay," service members do receive a pay increase as part of their housing and cost-of-living allowances after they get married.
Why are military wives important?
The military spouse plays a significant role in the life and morale of the service member: The spouse stays home and keeps the family grounded, safe, and functioning while the service member performs their duty. Many spouses also work full time, pursue their education, and help raise the family.
What is the 10 10 10 rule in the military?
Here is a brief description of the “10/10 rule”: If the marriage lasted 10 years and the service member or former service member served at least 10 years in the military during that marriage, then the former spouse shall receive those pension benefits from the Defense Finance and Accounting Service (DFAS).
Is it good to marry a soldier?
SOME people think that a soldier cannot make a good spouse and bring about a happy marriage and wonderful family. This is wrong. Although our job is demanding and requires working away from home, it can still be safe to trust a soldier and later mary him or her. A good spouse is a matter of personality and character.
What is a military wife called?
Spouses and children of service members are traditionally called dependents. Being called a “Dependa” implies the military spouse sits at home all day doing nothing while their service member sacrifices everything to keep them comfortable.
Why do most military wives not work?
In a large Rand study, two-thirds of spouses interviewed felt that the military had a negative effect on career. Frequent moves, absence of the service member, cost of child care vs. wages, and employer bias were the most frequently cited reasons for this problem.
Why Being a military spouse is hard?
Military life results in uncertainty and breaks in routine, which can cause family members to experience high anxiety, depression, PTSD and long-term mental health and wellness injuries. Many spouses feel it will hurt their military partner's chances of promotion if they would seek help for stress or depression.
Therapy can help cope with change
As a military spouse, you most likely face regular relocations. And that comes with many changes in your life whether it’s a job change, children changing schools, leaving your friends and family behind, etc. These relocations are stressful. Unresolved or untreated stress can negatively affect mental health in the future.
During therapy, military spouses will receive the support they need
As I’ve already mentioned, lack of support is something military spouses (myself included) struggle a lot with. When we are dealing with stressful situations emotional support is very beneficial. However, it can be difficult to share our struggles with others. There’s fear and shame involved.
Therapy is confidential
What you talk about during sessions will stay there. Every therapist values their reputation and confidentiality is one of the main aspects of our work. So, if you have worries about your seeking help negatively affecting your spouse, rest assured it won’t.
Counseling will help military spouses work on their relationship
Although any relationship requires more than one person to thrive or to fail, you are the only person you can change and have control over. Therapy may help you understand yourself and your needs better, and find out the best ways how to communicate those needs to others.
Therapy can help military spouses understand their feelings of sadness and frustration better and learn how to cope with them
It takes time, knowledge, and dedication to understand some of our feelings and emotions. Sometimes we have subconscious beliefs that drive our feelings. And those beliefs can be challenging to uncover on your own. That is when counseling comes into place.
What is married military couples program?
Married Army Couples Program. Keeping a family together while accomplishing the missions set forth by the Army, is something many dual military couples face. One way to meet the challenge is by enrolling in the Married Army Couples Program (MACP). Established in August 1983, the MACP is a program designed to help ensure ...
What is the key to a successful dual military marriage?
The key to a successful dual military marriage is a consideration for each other’s career goals.
How long do you have to create a family care plan for a dual military spouse?
Dual military couples have 30 days after arriving at a new unit to produce a valid family care plan, which includes naming both a short-term and long-term care provider.
Can you station a married couple in the army?
The Married Army Couples Program works, but it doesn’t guarantee you will be assigned together. There are a number of things which can make it difficult for the MACP to station a couple together. If two soldiers have the same low-density military occupational specialty (MOS) or job, they may be more difficult to station together.
Is dual military good?
Benefits of Being a Dual Military Couple. Still, other dual- military couples said while there are difficulties, there are also a number of benefits. Military spouses understand the stress each other faces on the job every day, and can help each other cope with the challenges they deal with.
Can a married soldier join the military?
Soldiers who are married to a member of another branch of the military may not enroll in the MACP program for automatic joint domicile consideration, but they may request reassignment to join their spouse by submit ting a DA Form 4187 to their career branch. Find out more about contacting a branch manager at the Army Human Resources Command (HRC) website.
Why do military men get married young?
Kriscijan said he thinks military guys get married young for the extra money and to stay out of the barracks so they can get their own houses.
Why do people marry young in the military?
Hurley said after this need, there are varying reasons for marrying young in the military ranging from economic gain, security and love. The biggest issue young couples have in the military is adjusting to expectations and ideals, according to Hurley. "After you get married, there's an adjustment of expectations or what it means to be married," ...
What does Hurley say about spouses?
Hurley said the spouse needs to understand and adapt to the uncertainty of the soldier being able to drop everything or leave the job when the spouse needs them. "Sometimes the needs of the military come first," Hurley said. "Soldiers are taught that this mission is the most important thing.
What are the three struggles that Jon said are common issues in young military marriages?
Money, being young and immature and separation from family were the three struggles Jon said are common issues in young military marriages.
How old was Wesley Ann when she married William?
Wesley Ann and her husband William dated only 10 months before they got married. He was 21 and she was 23.
What does Wesley Ann Wade say about marriage?
That's what military wife Wesley Ann Wade said when talking about marrying young in the military. Wade and other military couples said the "young marriage complex" has existed for years when star-crossed lovers eloped just before deployments.
Why are young marriages different?
Hurley said all marriages and even romantic relationships go through predictable phases, but young marriages are different because they have this idea of what they want. "They are in this bubble of ideals about what their hopes and dreams are for marriage," said Hurley. Hurley has spent his life dedicated to the military.
How many years of marriage do you have to be married to get military benefits?
The only exception for this is for divorcing spouses who meet the 20/20/20 rule -- at least 20 years married to a service member who was in the military for at least 20 years, with an at least 20-year overlap of the marriage and the time in service. In that case, the spouse carries the benefit through a divorce.
What to say to a girl who has stability?
Be happy for her that she has stability.
Do spouses of retired military receive health care?
Current spouses of retirees receive the same benefits the retiree does -- including health care coverage. Military members and retirees are given health care for life for themselves and their qualifying family members. That's the benefit, plain and simple.
What are some truths about military spouses?
They shared some truths about their lives, which are often misunderstood by civilians. 1. Military couples put duty first -- not their marriages. Advertisement. While common marriage advice holds that a person should place his or her marriage above all else, military spouses often don't. Living with this reality often requires a lot of patience, ...
Why does Phyfe say military marriages require a certain degree of strength?
Phyfe said that because the stakes of service are so high, military marriages require a certain degree of strength, which he said can ultimately help keep military couples together. " [We] deal with life and death daily so the fear that has to be overcome is something that creates a friendship and love like no other," he said.
Can a military spouse lose their sense of self?
3. Military spouses can lose their sense of self, since their partners' career of service often takes precedence over theirs. Laura DiSilverio spent 20 years in the Air Force. Her daughter was not yet 2 and she was pregnant with her second child when she found out that she would be stationed in England.
Is coming home the best part of being a military couple?
Many people think that coming home is the best part, Phyfe said. While the reunion is great, he said that his wife "readily admits" that the process of him reintegrating back into their family life is one of the hardest parts about being a military couple.
Does military marriage always take precedence?
But, just because the career of a military spouse takes precedence at one point, that doesn't mean it always will. "Marriage is about sacrifice, about one person's job taking precedence right now, with the understanding that the other spouse’s needs will take precedence in the future," DiSilverio said.
Can military spouses have a harder time finding work than their spouses who served?
4. Military spouses can have a harder time finding work than their partners who served.
Is the military progressive?
The military is culturally progressive when it comes to marriage. While the military as an institution might be perceived as being overly traditional -- even closed-minded -- when it comes to marriage, Ruediger believes that the military made her interracial relationship possible.
What happens if you don't sign a no adultery agreement?
If you do not agree to a no adultery clause, you cannot, in the eyes of the military, be a spouse. No DEERS. No Tricare.
Is adultery against UCMJ?
The current rules about infidelity in the services should stand. Adultery is against the UCMJ (Article 134) and for good reason. I'm just wondering what would happen if there were similar rules or regulations for spouses, too.
Should divorce be equal in the military?
If marriage in the military is equal, then divorce should be equal, too. We have rules about military adultery for service members, why not have military spouse adultery rules, too?
How many years of active duty did enlisted soldiers have?
Most soldiers were relatively junior, meaning that they were in low to middle military ranks and had been on active duty for three to four years.
Is marriage rate higher in military?
While numerous studies have shown that the marriage rate among military service members is much higher than civilians of the same age, new research has found specific reasons that lead these young men and women to make this important decision. While numerous studies have shown that the marriage rate among military service members is much higher ...
Does military employment lead to marriage?
The conditions of military employment also lead naturally to marriage. There's stable employment, comprehensive family benefits, and economic mobility in an entry-level job. That's not a common job market condition encountered by most high school graduates.
Does the military pay for relocation?
The military's solution is to incorporate families in their entirety, and it pays the full relocation costs for each family member -- as long as they are married. This policy causes people to marry earlier than they had planned to, and sometimes to people they would not otherwise have married.
