They don’t want to give you what you want. Admittedly, this isn’t the most mature response to a breakup, but some guys are known to be bitter and vindictive after they’ve been dumped. If he knows that you want to talk to him, he may give you the silent treatment out of spite.
Full Answer
What is the silent treatment?
The silent treatment is a refusal to communicate verbally with another person. People who use the silent treatment may even refuse to acknowledge the presence of the other person. People use the...
How long does it take to get over the silent treatment?
ARE YOU KIDDING ME Is like this block of ice that you keep chipping away. And after you stop your current silent treatment, it takes months to get those feeling back. But guess what you chip the ice again, cause you end up doing it again in another 3 to 6 month. SO RUN PEOPLE RUN, CAUSE THEY WILL NEVER CHANGE. AND LIFE IS TO SHORT TO BE ABUSED.
What happens when a man gives the silent treatment?
According to a 2012 study, people who regularly feel ignored also report lower levels of self-esteem, belonging, and meaning in their lives. Because of this, the silent treatment can have an impact on the health of a relationship, even if the person who is silent is trying to avoid conflict.
Does the silent treatment work after a breakup?
Silence Is Key After a Breakup Remember, silence is a key after you've just broken up. It helps re-establish your bond while allowing both you and your partner to think. So, instead of texting and making phone calls, be absolutely silent.
How long should the silent treatment last after a breakup?
How long should you stay silent after a breakup? Most experts say you should wait a minimum of 30 to 60 days before you talk to your ex again. But if you're looking to totally heal, you might even need much longer. It's not unusual to take a big break from your ex of six months or even a year.
What does the silent treatment do to an ex?
With the silent treatment and the no contact rule, you are saving yourself. You stay quiet and just cut off everything that has something to do with your ex. This will give you the time you need to deal with the process of breaking up.
Is silent treatment the end of a relationship?
Researchers have found that the silent treatment is used by both men and women to terminate a partner's behaviors or words rather than to elicit them. 1 In abusive relationships, the silent treatment is used to manipulate the other person and to establish power over them.
Why he goes silent after a breakup?
He's trying to protect himself Sometimes people are so terrified of being hurt — or hurt again — that they assume it's best to shut down. To them, it might feel easier to ignore you, rather than talk things through.
Why Ignoring your ex is powerful?
Another one of the benefits of ignoring your ex-boyfriend is that you will have the time and headspace to move forward. Since you aren't talking to or checking up on your ex, you will be able to think of what you want to, and you'll have a better chance of knowing when you'll be ready to date again.
Is silent treatment the best revenge?
Silence speaks volumes The best revenge is no reaction. Believe it, the silence and zero reaction really bothers your ex, and they consider it as the best served revenge. Nothing creates more curiosity than silence. Your ex would expect a vent or an angry rant from you, but don't give in.
Why is silence so powerful?
Silence can be a very powerful way to “be” with another person, especially when they are troubled. It can communicate acceptance of the other person as they are as of a given moment, and particularly when they have strong feelings like sorrow, fear or anger.
What does silence do to a man?
Findings from his in-depth analysis revealed that the silent treatment is 'tremendously' damaging to a relationship. It decreases relationship satisfaction for both partners, diminishes feelings of intimacy, and reduces the capacity to communicate in a way that's healthy and meaningful.
How do you know if he is hurting after a breakup?
20 Signs he is hurting after the breakupHe starts to talk about how much he regrets breaking up. ... He posts sad songs on his social media. ... He starts working out more or eating healthier. ... He checks in on you often. ... He's a complete trainwreck. ... He texts or calls you frequently. ... He pretends to be doing great.More items...•
What is silent treatment?
The silent treatment can happen in romantic relationships or any type of relationship, including between parents and children, friends, and co-workers. It can be a fleeting reaction to a situation in which one person feels angry, frustrated, or too overwhelmed to deal with a problem.
When the silent treatment is part of the larger issue of emotional abuse, don't blame yourself. It's not?
When the silent treatment is part of the larger issue of emotional abuse, don’t blame yourself. It’s not your fault. You’re not responsible for their behavior, no matter what they tell you. If that person genuinely wants to change, they’ll get themselves into counseling.
How does silent treatment affect self esteem?
When it’s used regularly as a power play, it can make you feel rejected or excluded. This can have a huge effect on your self-esteem.
How to deal with emotional abuse?
Make it about you. Ignore it. Offer solutions. Stand up for yourself. What not to do. Signs of emotional abuse. Get help. Takeaway. If you’ve ever found yourself in a situation where you couldn’t get someone to talk to you, or even acknowledge you, you’ve experienced the silent treatment.
What to do when things escalate to emotional abuse?
When things escalate to emotional abuse, you’re not in a healthy relationship. It’s time to put yourself first. If you believe the relationship is worth salvaging: Set firm boundaries about what acceptable behavior is and how you expect to be treated.
Why do people go silent?
But some people use the silent treatment as a tool for exerting power over someone or creating emotional distance.
How to get clear on what you expect from each other?
Take turns listening and repeating what the other person says so you’re clear on what you expect of each other. If you’re in a romantic relationship, offer to go to couples counseling to learn some new tools.
What is the power of no contact and silent treatment?
The power of no contact and silent treatment is that it gives you time to reflect. You can free yourself from the ‘ I want him back ’ or ‘How do I win her over again?’ obsession.
Why do we need silence after a fight?
Radio silence after a fight gives you time to reflect on just what happened, and you’ll find yourself coming back to the situation with a level head, better able to deal with the difficulties. In a similar way, the power of silence after a breakup can help give you time to introspect.
What to do after a breakup?
Juhi says “Silence is key after a breakup. Initially, it might be painful but it will end up giving you peace of mind since it’s rightly said that time is the best healer. When you have an urge to contact this person, distract yourself and do something which makes you feel better. Watch a movie, occupy yourself. You’ll realize how worthwhile the whole thing is when it helps you more than you ever thought it could. “
What is the power of silence after break up?
The power of silence after break up, especially when you do it without a forewarning, is that you leave your ex with more questions than answers. Where are you? What are doing? Why haven’t you called? What does it mean? Silence after being dumped keeps the dumper totally confused.
Why is no contact important?
The power of no contact is that it saves you from letting your emotions get the better of you. Besides, you learn to deal with and process your pain on your own. This is a big step toward realizing that you don’t need another person to make you whole. Whilst being dumped by the silent treatment, your ex will immediately realize as well that you don’t really need them as much as they thought you did. Your life is yours to live and improve, you don’t need a toxic partner to help you out.
Why is silence important after a break up?
The real power of silence after a break up is that it sets you free from your fears, inhibitions and dependence on another person. What you choose to do with that freedom is your choice.
How long does the No Contact Rule last?
The No Contact Rule must remain in effect for at least 30 days. However, it’s totally up to you to extend it for as long as you need to heal. And even forever.
What is silent treatment?
Summary. The silent treatment is a refusal to communicate verbally with another person. People who use the silent treatment may even refuse to acknowledge the presence of the other person. People use the silent treatment in many types of relationship, including romantic relationships. It can sometimes be a form of emotional abuse.
Why is silent treatment important?
for healthy relationships. Using the silent treatment prevents people from resolving their conflicts in a helpful way. When one partner wants to talk about a problem but the other withdraws, it can cause negative emotions such as anger and distress.
How does silent treatment affect relationships?
How it affects relationships. In most cases, using the silent treatment is not a productive way to deal with a disagreement. Research indicates that both men and women use the silent treatment in relationships. However, clear and direct communication is essential. for healthy relationships.
Why do people stay silent in a conversation?
These include: Avoidance: In some cases, people stay silent in a conversation because they do not know what to say or want to avoid conflict. Communication: A person may use the silent treatment if they do not know how to express their feelings but want their partner to know that they are upset.
How does silence end?
the silence lasts for extended periods of time. the silence only ends when they decide it does. they talk to other people but not to their partner. they seek alliances from others. they use silence to blame their partner and make them feel guilty.
What to do when someone threatens you?
If the person responds in a threatening or abusive way, it is important to remove oneself from the situation until they calm down. Talk to a doctor, therapist, or trusted friend for help.
Who should take steps to address silent treatment?
People who regularly use or experience the silent treatment should take steps to address it.
What is silent treatment?
The silent treatment is the behavior of an immature person with poor communication skills. It is also considered emotional abuse and is the epitome of manipulation. Ask her if this is the type of marriage or relationship she wants.
What happens if narcs fail?
And when they fail, they will endure a severe narcissistic injury and their reflex may be brutal. On the other hand breakup term is used in the normal relationships(personality disorder free), Continue Reading.
What is silent treatment?
The silent treatment is emotional abuse. When a victim is in a relationship with a person who causes the above mentioned distress, her mind and body remember how upsettingand anxiety provoking theprevioussilent treatment occurrences were.
Why is silent treatment not blatant?
The only person who really feels the silent treatment is the target. The person giving the silent treatment is not being overtly aggressive, abusive, or unkind in any visible way. This keeps himlooking “good” and reasonable.
Who said "Codependent no more"?
Melody Beattie, the Codependent No More author, has a great line for when a codependent doesn’tlike what the addict in herlife is doing. I think the quote is perfect for those dealing with the silent treatment. I recommend that you make it your own; it is: ” Celebrate the ‘no’!
Is silent treatment abusive?
Whether the person in your life is using the silent treatment immaturely or abusively, one thing is for sure, it is infuriating to receive; problems cannot bedealt with, conflicts remain unresolved, simple conversations are thwarted, and in the end, relationships employing this tactic become either toxic on nonexistent.
High5girl
You are asking alot of questions that ppl including yourself won't have the answers to. I will say this tho, take his silence as your answer.
dazedconfused6
And yes, some ppl break up with you without telling you. It's happened to me twice. It really sucks too, b/c it doesn't help with the closure.
CrazyBeautifu
It sounds like a break up to me. and High5Girl is right dont send him anymore texts, your just waisting your breath on it. I say let it go, show that you dont care and just move on.
High5girl
Yes, I dated these 2 men for awhile. One was for 3 yrs. And another was for about a year. Intimate with both and loved by both. (Supposedly)
HouseKitten
I know how you feel, I didn't fall in love with this guy but I met him and we had a really great time together, he was really keen and sending me messages every day, then one night we go out and the next day for some reason, everything switched off. Haven't heard from him since.
dazedconfused6
Thanks. It's just that Im not like most people. I dont date people like sardines or patato chips. I dont just say "NEXT" and move on to whomever comes my way. Thats why i never go on blind dates.
caro33
I just wrote on your other thread and came here to read the history. I just wanted to say that this stuff happens, and it happens because people are weak, they don't always know what they want, they change their minds, and they can also be scared off. What happened with you could be any of these things.
Why is silent treatment called the weapon of choice?
Generally, it’s called on as the weapon of choice because it’s powerful and it’s easy to get away with.
What happens when couples are locked in a demand withdrawal pattern?
When couples become locked in this ‘demand-withdraw’ pattern, the damage can be both emotional and physiological include anxiety and aggression as well as erectile dysfunction and urinary and bowel problems.
Why is it so hard to break a pattern?
It’s an incredibly hard pattern to break because both partners lay the blame at the feet of the other. ‘Partners get locked in this pattern, largely because they each see the other as the cause,’ explains Schrodt. ‘Both partners see the other as the problem.’.
Does silent treatment damage a relationship?
Nobody engage s the silent treatment expecting it to damage the relationship, and that’s the danger.
What is silent treatment?
The silent treatment is a form of emotional abuse typically employed by people with narcissistic tendencies. It is designed to (1) place the abuser in a position of control; (2) silence the target’s attempts at assertion; (3) avoid conflict resolution/personal responsibility/compromise; or (4) punish the target for a perceived ego slight.
How long does silent treatment last?
Silent treatment is a form o f abuse. Being married to my husband for 8 years now and every 4 or 6 months he engages in one. That will last for almost 2 months. Yes I said 2 months.
How to get rid of silent abuse?
Mystery. That could be the answer to your questions. I’m not sure the abuser has a good reason to use the silent treatment. Get to know yourself. Have a healthy self esteem. Continue to have love and compassion. Don’t let people change you.
What is the difference between "no contact" and "silent treatment"?
Also, there is a difference between No Contact and the Silent Treatment…the latter is an emotional abuse tactic employed by an abuser. No Contact is a strategy of healing survivors can utilize to heal and move forward in the aftermath of narcissistic abuse.
What to say when someone is not with you?
No can be trusted with out a reason. Words are weapons use them wisely. Think three times before you speak. Say something in your head. Then speak it. Always make it sound good. ‘ My father died’ or ” my dad passed away.” Body functions are always a bad topic . And remember your time is important don’t waste it on deaf ears.
Is silent treatment a narc?
The silent treatment is only abuse if the “victim” is still emotionally attached to the narc. Once a person detaches and is on a healthier path the silence is peaceful. And sane.
Can a parent use silent treatment on a child?
Yes it is. A parent should never use the silent treatment on a child. The damage is immense. I hope that if you’re doing this you will seek parenting support to find more positive ways of dealing with difficulties