Full Answer
What is the silent treatment in a relationship?
The silent treatment is a refusal to communicate verbally with another person. People who use the silent treatment may even refuse to acknowledge the presence of the other person. People use the silent treatment in many types of relationship, including romantic relationships.
Is the Silent Treatment an emotional abuse weapon of control?
Some people lack effective communication skills or need to retreat into themselves to work things out. To emotional abusers, though, the silent treatment is a weapon of control. At first, it might be difficult to know for certain if you’re dealing with a bigger problem.
What is the silent treatment for a narcissist?
At best the silent treatment isan immature behavior used by spoiled brats and manipulativeindividuals. At worst, it is a weapon used by abusers to punish their victims. One demographic of the population that particularly loves the silent treatment is the narcissist. In fact, the silent treatment is the narcissist’s favorite weapon.
What happens when a man gives the silent treatment?
According to a 2012 study, people who regularly feel ignored also report lower levels of self-esteem, belonging, and meaning in their lives. Because of this, the silent treatment can have an impact on the health of a relationship, even if the person who is silent is trying to avoid conflict.
What type of strategy is the silent treatment?
The silent treatment is a strategy frequently used by people who appear to possess great self-control and claim to be more rational than emotional. At the same time, it is related not only to an expression of passive violence but also to a concealed strategy of psychological abuse.
What kind of communication is the silent treatment?
The silent treatment is a refusal to communicate verbally with another person. People who use the silent treatment may even refuse to acknowledge the presence of the other person. People use the silent treatment in many types of relationship, including romantic relationships.
What type of aggression is the silent treatment?
It may be a passive-aggressive form of emotional abuse in which displeasure, disapproval and contempt is exhibited through nonverbal gestures while maintaining verbal silence. Clinical psychologist Harriet Braiker identifies it as a form of manipulative punishment.
Is the silent treatment relational aggression?
When you are unhappy about something happening that seems to be sabotaging your relationship, communicate your concerns clearly, rather than using the subtle tactics of relational aggression, such as the silent treatment. Find an appropriate time, place, and tone to tell your spouse how you feel.
Is the silent treatment passive aggressive?
Basically, the silent treatment is a passive-aggressive behavior by which an abuser communicates some sort of negative message to the intended victim that only the perpetrator and the victim recognize through nonverbal communication.
Who uses the silent treatment?
Researchers have found that the silent treatment is used by both men and women to terminate a partner's behaviors or words rather than to elicit them. 1 In abusive relationships, the silent treatment is used to manipulate the other person and to establish power over them.
What is the psychology behind the silent treatment?
The silent treatment is a particularly insidious form of abuse because it might force the victim to reconcile with the perpetrator in an effort to end the behavior, even if the victim doesn't know why they're apologizing. “It's especially controlling because it deprives both sides from weighing in,” Williams said.
Is silent treatment a form of control?
Control. If someone is giving you the silent treatment in order to control your actions, they are causing silent treatment abuse. For example, the person might say they're not speaking to you until you apologize, or they won't speak to you if you go out with friends.
What the silent treatment does?
The silent treatment is a refusal to verbally communicate with another person. People who use the silent treatment may have trouble communicating pain. When the silent treatment becomes a pattern, it can be abusive.
What is relational aggression examples?
Relational aggression refers to harm within relationships that is caused by covert bullying or manipulative behavior. Examples include isolating a youth from his or her group of friends (social exclusion), threatening to stop talking to a friend (the ''silent treatment''), or spreading gossip and rumors by e-mail.
Is the silent treatment Gaslighting?
“The silent treatment is the ultimate gaslighting because it denies the reality of you, of your humanity,” Sarkis says.
What is reactive relational aggression?
Reactive Relational Aggression Response to a provocation that causes one to be upset, hurt, or angry. An example would be if an individual perceives being made fun of by another person they might react by spreading rumors about the individual to hurt their reputation.
What is silent treatment?
The silent treatment is a strategy frequently used by people who appear to possess great self-control and claim to be more rational than emotional. At the same time, it is related not only to an expression of passive violence but also to a concealed strategy of psychological abuse. That is to say, it can profoundly damage the person on ...
What happens when you use silent treatment?
Sometimes people think that if they use the silent treatment, the other person will change their behavior or do what the other person wants them to do.
What does it mean when you activate the silent zone?
Activation in this zone means that physical symptoms also start to appear. Some very common symptoms are headaches and digestive problems. Fatigue and insomnia are also frequent complaints.
Is silence good for you?
Silence can be healthy when tempers are high and a pause is needed before something exacerbates the situation. However, when silence is used as a method of control or punishment, it becomes abuse. No one should passively allow themselves to be ignored by someone else, at least not without an explanation of their behavior. ...
Does silent treatment affect the brain?
The silent treatment has physical effects as well. Studies have been done that show that feeling excluded or ignored can cause changes in the brain. A zone of the human brain called the “anterior cingulate cortex” is responsible for detecting different levels of pain. Scientists have proven that this zone is activated when something receives ...
USING THE SILENT TREATMENT THE RIGHT WAY
Carissa goes on to mention some excellent points about why we should dig ourselves out of a negative mindset for the good of our relationships. She gives tips on how we can encourage ourselves to open up and talk to our partner about our feelings. These are great points and we should all get there eventually.
FACE THE PROBLEM HEAD ON
Once you’ve had your time to yourself, you’re in a much better place to communicate effectively. You have just seriously increased the chances of your conversation going in a much healthier place, and the struggle to “remain positive” when you’re seething with anger isn’t as prominent.
What is silent treatment?
Silent treatment is when a person refuses to communicate with their partner. This form of passive-aggressive communication is also known as giving a cold shoulder. It is ineffective, harmful and is an emotionally abusive way to avoid, punish, or control the partner. Subscribe.
Why do people become silent?
A person could become silent to seek attention, trouble their partner, manipulate to gain control over the partner, or any other reason. Meanwhile, the partner struggles through the vicious circle of depression, guilt, and other negative emotions. Some of the examples of giving silent treatment in a relationship are explained below.
What to do if your partner is silent?
If this is just the first time that your partner is giving you a silent treatment, be calm and kind instead of reacting negatively. But if giving the silent treatment has become a habit for your partner, then you should refuse to become the victim. Call them out on it instead of taking it quietly.
What to do if your partner is not able to share your concerns with you?
If your partner is not able to share their concerns with you, they might be able to talk about it to the professionals.
What to do when your partner doesn't behave?
If your partner does not usually behave like that, try to stay calm, use a gentle tone, empathize, and then talk with them to find a solution for whatever is bothering them. And if you think it’s your fault, then apologize, and assure your partner that it won’t happen again.
Is stonewalling bad for a relationship?
Stonewalling can be harmful to the relationship if it goes on for long. In this MomJunction post, we tell you what silent treatment is, how it affects the relationship, and how to respond to it.
Is silent treatment bad for a relationship?
Communication plays an effective role in every relationship, and silent treatment is one of the negative forms of communication that can harm the relationship. Whether you are giving the silent treatment or are at the receiving end of it, it is unhealthy. Stonewalling can be harmful to the relationship if it goes on for long.
What is silent treatment?
The silent treatment is emotional abuse. When a victim is in a relationship with a person who causes the above mentioned distress, her mind and body remember how upsettingand anxiety provoking theprevioussilent treatment occurrences were.
Why is silent treatment not blatant?
The only person who really feels the silent treatment is the target. The person giving the silent treatment is not being overtly aggressive, abusive, or unkind in any visible way. This keeps himlooking “good” and reasonable.
Who said "Codependent no more"?
Melody Beattie, the Codependent No More author, has a great line for when a codependent doesn’tlike what the addict in herlife is doing. I think the quote is perfect for those dealing with the silent treatment. I recommend that you make it your own; it is: ” Celebrate the ‘no’!
What is silent treatment?
The silent treatment can happen in romantic relationships or any type of relationship, including between parents and children, friends, and co-workers. It can be a fleeting reaction to a situation in which one person feels angry, frustrated, or too overwhelmed to deal with a problem.
Why do people go silent?
But some people use the silent treatment as a tool for exerting power over someone or creating emotional distance.
What to do when your spouse is silent?
If it’s your spouse or partner, you both may benefit from couples counseling or individual therapy to learn better ways to manage conflicts. When the silent treatment is part of the larger issue of emotional abuse, don’t blame yourself. It’s not your fault.
How to deal with emotional abuse?
Make it about you. Ignore it. Offer solutions. Stand up for yourself. What not to do. Signs of emotional abuse. Get help. Takeaway. If you’ve ever found yourself in a situation where you couldn’t get someone to talk to you, or even acknowledge you, you’ve experienced the silent treatment.
What to do when things escalate to emotional abuse?
When things escalate to emotional abuse, you’re not in a healthy relationship. It’s time to put yourself first. If you believe the relationship is worth salvaging: Set firm boundaries about what acceptable behavior is and how you expect to be treated.
Is silent treatment a good way to communicate?
While it’s not always malicious, the silent treatment certainly isn’t a healthy way to communicate. If the silent treatment looms large in your life, there are steps you can take to improve your relationship or remove yourself from an abusive situation. Last medically reviewed on April 30, 2019.
Is silent treatment always meant to inflict wounds?
The silent treatment isn’t always meant to inflict wounds. Sometimes, it’s an isolated incident that gets out of hand. You can let it slide until they come around and move on.
What is silent treatment?
The silent treatment is a form of emotional abuse typically employed by people with narcissistic tendencies. It is designed to (1) place the abuser in a position of control; (2) silence the target’s attempts at assertion; (3) avoid conflict resolution/personal responsibility/compromise; or (4) punish the target for a perceived ego slight.
How long does silent treatment last?
Silent treatment is a form o f abuse. Being married to my husband for 8 years now and every 4 or 6 months he engages in one. That will last for almost 2 months. Yes I said 2 months.
How to get rid of silent abuse?
Mystery. That could be the answer to your questions. I’m not sure the abuser has a good reason to use the silent treatment. Get to know yourself. Have a healthy self esteem. Continue to have love and compassion. Don’t let people change you.
What is the difference between "no contact" and "silent treatment"?
Also, there is a difference between No Contact and the Silent Treatment…the latter is an emotional abuse tactic employed by an abuser. No Contact is a strategy of healing survivors can utilize to heal and move forward in the aftermath of narcissistic abuse.
Can a parent use silent treatment on a child?
Yes it is. A parent should never use the silent treatment on a child. The damage is immense. I hope that if you’re doing this you will seek parenting support to find more positive ways of dealing with difficulties
Is silent treatment a narc?
The silent treatment is only abuse if the “victim” is still emotionally attached to the narc. Once a person detaches and is on a healthier path the silence is peaceful. And sane.
Why do people use silent treatment?
The silent treatment might be employed by passive personality types to avoid conflict and confrontation, while strong personality types use it to punish or control. Some people may not even consciously choose it at all.
Why is silent treatment so insidious?
The silent treatment is a particularly insidious form of abuse because it might force the victim to reconcile with the perpetrator in an effort to end the behavior, even if the victim doesn’t know why they’re apologizing. “It’s especially controlling because it deprives both sides from weighing in,” Williams said.
How long does silent treatment last?
In the end, whether it lasts four hours or four decades, the silent treatment says more about the person doing it than it does about the person receiving it.
How long was the silence of a wife?
A wife whose husband severed communication with her early in their marriage. “She endured four decades of silence that started with a minor disagreement and only ended when her husband died,” Williams said. Forty years of eating meals by herself, watching television by herself—40 years of being invisible.
What does it mean to voice the pain of being ignored?
To “voice the pain of being ignored” is a constructive way of expressing one’s feelings, and may elicit a change if the relationship is truly founded on care, Margaret Clark, a psychology professor at Yale, told me in an email.
When did Kipling Williams study silent treatment?
Getty / Adam Maida / The Atlantic. March 26, 2021. Kipling Williams has studied the effects of the silent treatment for more than 36 years, meeting hundreds of victims and perpetrators in the process: A grown woman whose father refused to speak with her for six months at a time as punishment throughout her life.
Should a victim of ostracism apologize?
Although a victim of ostracism should certainly apologize if they’ve done something hurtful, Fishel said, “it’s time to call a couple’s therapist” if your spouse uses the silent treatment tactically and often. “One of the worst feelings in an intimate relationship is to feel ignored,” she said.
What is silent treatment?
The silent treatment is simply the deliberate act of withholding one’s emotions from a partner by refusing to respond to attempted communication and refusing to initiate conversation. The silent treatment is lethal and could occur in all types of relationships.
What is the purpose of stonewalling?
It is often used as a protective mechanism during a conflict. The goal of stonewalling is to avoid uncomfortable, emotionally heated conversations.
