Treatment FAQ

narcissist why they give the silent treatment

by Drew Fadel Published 3 years ago Updated 2 years ago
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Sometimes days or weeks, which keeps the victim in a constant state of fight-or-flight during which they feel isolated and rejected, as well as physically sick. Narcissists use the silent treatment as a tool for exerting power over someone or creating emotional distance.

The Purpose of the Silent Treatment
Essentially, the point of the silent treatment is to make the victim feel confused, stressed, guilty, ashamed, not good enough, or unstable enough so that they would do what the manipulator wants.
Mar 12, 2020

Full Answer

How to get a narcissist to break the silent treatment?

Apr 13, 2022 · The silent treatment is a manipulation tactic where a toxic narcissist will stop talking to you for days, hours, weeks, or even months to punish you for some perceived slight. It can cause severe emotional and psychological damage if you don’t realize what is happening. What is the goal of silent treatment?

Why should we not trust a narcissist?

The narcissistic silent treatment is a form of emotional abuse that can be very damaging to your mental health. It involves the narcissist shutting you out and refusing to talk to you. They may give you the cold shoulder or act like they don’t know what you’re talking about.

What does silent treatment by a narcissist mean?

Apr 13, 2022 · The narcissist loves the idea of you lying awake all night wondering why they are giving you the silent treatment. It actually offers them a certain amount of supply in itself. The narcissist lives to keep you in limbo

Why is there no cure for a narcissist?

Dec 13, 2020 · When a narcissist uses the silent treatment, it can be a very draining and painful experience. It’s passive-aggressive and it can be very frustrating and result in a lot of stress and anxiety. When victim of the silent treatment, you’re stuck in a game of manipulation instead of having healthy and normal communication.

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When the narcissist breaks the silent treatment?

When the narcissist engages in the silent treatment, that all gets turned on its head and the victim feels like they are 100% responsible for the narcissist's sadness or anger. What is this? Additionally, humans naturally want to feel loved and “seen” by their partner.Jun 27, 2020

What does it mean when a narcissist ignores you?

Put simply, they ignore you to regain control. The narcissist uses ignoring you as a way to punish for some wrongdoing you committed. They don't feel the need to tell you what the wrongdoing was, they just jump into ignoring you as quick as possible to protect themselves from further narcissistic injury.Jul 7, 2021

How do you react when a narcissist ignores you?

Part of a video titled When the Narcissist Ignores You, Do This #gamesnarcissistsplay
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It's only going to encourage them to do it again. So just don't do that. Okay you know like i saidMoreIt's only going to encourage them to do it again. So just don't do that. Okay you know like i said don't obsess.

How do you respond to silent treatment?

How to respond
  1. Name the situation. Acknowledge that someone is using the silent treatment. ...
  2. Use 'I' statements. ...
  3. Acknowledge the other person's feelings. ...
  4. Apologize for words or actions. ...
  5. Cool off and arrange a time to resolve the issue. ...
  6. Avoid unhelpful responses.
Jun 8, 2020

What happens when you cut off contact with a narcissist?

Breaking up with a narcissist is likely to be a draining experience. Either they won't let you go without a fight, or they will discard you without looking back. Both experiences are extremely hurtful.Sep 5, 2018

How do you know if a narcissist is finished with you?

How to Know if a Narcissist Is Finished with You
  • They show no emotion.
  • They criticize you constantly.
  • They blame you for everything.
  • They're always irritated or angry.
  • They pick fights over trivial things.
  • They take advantage of you.
  • They withhold physical affection.
  • They accuse you of cheating.
Apr 7, 2022

What would make a narcissist chase you?

Once you've been identified as a source of narcissistic supply, they'll do everything in their power to make you dependent on them. They need you to chase them to satisfy their internal insecurity. The rush of grandiosity they feel when being glorified is enough to distract them from reality.Jan 11, 2022

How long does the silent treatment last?

If the perpetrator still refuses to acknowledge the victim's existence for long periods of time, it might be right to leave the relationship. In the end, whether it lasts four hours or four decades, the silent treatment says more about the person doing it than it does about the person receiving it.Mar 26, 2021

What is silent treatment?

The silent treatment is a manipulation tactic where someone will stop talking to you. This painful, uncomfortable silence can go on for days, hours, weeks, or even months in order to punish you for some perceived slight. It can cause serious emotional and psychological damage if you don’t realize what is happening. While people who aren’t narcissists may also use this tactic, it is commonly used among narcissists.

How do narcissists gaslight?

Narcissists are known manipulators, and one of their most notorious tactics is to gaslight you through confusion emotional manipulation, and abuse. The silent treatment is the perfect vehicle to accomplish this, and this is especially true of covert narcissists – although their more grandiose counterparts are also skilled at this particular tactic. You know that narcissists enjoy manipulating and gaslighting you. The narcissist loves the idea of you lying awake all night wondering why they are giving you the silent treatment. It actually offers them a certain amount of supply in itself.

What does it mean when a narcissist throws you into limbo?

With a sudden change in behavior, the narcissist can throw you into limbo, that feeling where you’re lost and not sure what to do or what’s next. For example, when they go from being overly demanding to not saying anything at all, you might be left spinning. They love the idea of you being distracted all day, unable to focus on anything except for what they could be possibly thinking.

Do narcissists have power?

Narcissists thrive on power, as you know . They envision you waiting by your phone waiting for a text, or even for an email. The fact that they will not send you a message or speak to you makes them feel powerful as they control your emotions and productivity.

Why do narcissists use silent treatment?

A common reason is that they could try to punish you because you have hurt their ego, you had slight criticism, or you simply didn’t do what they expected or wanted you to do. The silent treatment could also be a response to you setting a healthy boundary or saying ‘no’ to something. Another reason to use it is to have control. Their aim can be to make you feel powerless and to control your behaviour.

What is the silent treatment used by narcissists?

A very common form of manipulation used by narcissists is the silent treatment. When a narcissist uses the silent treatment, it can be a very draining and painful experience. It’s passive-aggressive and it can be very frustrating and result in a lot of stress and anxiety.

What is the difference between silent treatment and narcissistic treatment?

The difference with a narcissist using the silent treatment is that a narcissist will not be able to speak about it afterwards, they will not take any responsibility, or admit they were hurt and used the silent treatment because of that.

What does it mean when someone uses silent treatment?

Now, using the silent treatment doesn’t necessarily mean that someone is a narcissist or a toxic person . It can also be a sign of someone emotionally immature. A normal person, however, will let you know if they need some time to gather thoughts and tell you they will get back to you.

What happens when you are victim of silent treatment?

When victim of the silent treatment, you’re stuck in a game of manipulation instead of having healthy and normal communication. It’s very unhealthy behaviour and when used by narcissists it’s a form of emotional abuse.

Why do we use silent treatment?

Another important reason to use the silent treatment is avoiding responsibility. It could be a response to you wanting to speak about their behaviour or your relationship. Silent treatment basically is avoidance. It’s avoiding responsibility, blame, and projecting upon others by playing the victim.

Why is it important to shift your attention from a narcissist to yourself?

It’s thus very important to shift the attention from the narcissist to yourself again. Your energy will be drained, when your focus is on a narcissist.

What is a narcissist's sense of self?

Narcissism is characterized by a grandiose sense of self, a lack of empathy, and tumultuous interpersonal relationships. For those who enter a relationship with a narcissist, the behavior of the narcissist can seem downright abusive.

What is stonewalling in a relationship?

Stonewalling is a tool narcissists use to shut down the lines of communication. If they don’t like what you are saying to them- they will completely shut down and refuse to speak to you. Not only is this frustrating and hurtful- but it can also harm you and the relationship.

What happens when a narcissist feels like they have no power?

When a narcissist feels like they have no power- or as though they have the upper hand, they are likely to resort to the silent treatment. This turns the power dynamic upside down, and in their mind gives them the upper hand.

Why do narcissists use silent treatment?

In a relationship with the narcissist, you are their partner aren’t considered as a person with your own will and needs- you are an extension of the narcissist. Due to this , it’s their way or the highway, and they will do whatever it takes to get what they want.

What happens if you don't give a narcissist what they want?

When you don’t give the narcissist what they want- they will resort to manipulation. In their mind, the longer you have without them, the easier it will be for you to give up and give them their way.

What do narcissists want?

Narcissists want you to feel as though you aren’t worthy of them. They want you to chase them, and if they have to ignore you to make you see that- they most definitely will.

What is silent treatment?

The silent treatment is a form of emotional abuse that serves many purposes for the narcissist, and here are the 7 major reasons they use it as their preferred weapon against the people they love most.

What happens when you give silent treatment to a narcissist?

What happens in the initial days. When you start to give the silent treatment to the narcissist, the narcissist immediately finds it offending and hurting. As narcissists can’t tolerate being ignored, the act of silent treatment strikes the narcissist much harder than the normal people. As you start with the silent treatment, ...

What happens if you continue the silent treatment?

If you still continue the silent treatment, the narcissist may finally abandon you and move on with new narcissistic supply and new victims.

What is the silent treatment?

The silent treatment is the no1 weapon used by narcissists during which the narcissist acts as if you are non-existent and even refuses to communicate, even if you tried doing so. So, what happens when this silent-treatment is reversed?

How long does it take for a narcissist to come back to you?

Unable to feel being ignored, his inflated ego starts hitting him harder and harder. So, after giving silent treatment for a few weeks , the narcissist will likely come back to you. He may start chasing you so that he can get back his narcissistic supply like before.

Why does a narcissist block you?

The Narcissist may even block you on all his social media accounts and try to act extra friendlier with others, so that he can get more eyeballs from you. His routine bragging and show-off start to begin, just to show you that he is the most valuable person and prove that you are missing a great treasure ignoring him.

Why do we call it the attention grabbing phase?

Firstly, why we call it the attention-grabbing phase? This is because the narcissist starts to do everything, just to grab your attention and make you come back to him.

What happens to a narcissist as the days pass?

As more and more days/weeks pass by, the narcissist starts to feel weaker and weaker. His vulnerability starts to get exposed. This is the final stage, and we can consider this the vulnerable stage.

How to deal with Narcissists?

If they happen to pass your way, then you can politely but firmly inform them that you aren’t interested in what they have to say. However, to get rid of them once and for all, you’ll have to resort to the silent treatment, a classic method of control. The best way to deal with a narcissist in this manner is to simply make yourself disappear.

What happens when you stand up to a narcissist?

They will try to make you feel like you are in the wrong for standing up for yourself, but remember that the only thing they care about is how you make them look. If you have a narcissist in your life, there is a good chance they have been making you feel victimized for a while.

What Happens When You Give a Narcissist the Silent Treatment?

This technique works because it makes the narcissist feel ignored and insignificant. This, in turn, will make them seek attention from someone else. The only downside to this is that you have to do it for a long time before it has any effect on the narcissist.

How to Deal with a Narcissist That Uses The Silent Treatment

Whether you’re dealing with an individual that you’re deeply in love with or someone you just met, the idea of walking away from a conversation that’s going nowhere can be daunting. But it doesn’t need to be. You can be assertive and say what you want instead of letting them dominate the conversation.

What does narcissist do when you ignore them?

In most cases, they don’t mean to be hurtful. Many narcissists genuinely don’t think they’re doing anything wrong. They’re just so obsessed with their own needs that they never think about anyone else’s. When they think you are ignoring them, they can’t control their temper, so they tend to lash out more easily.

Why The Silent Treatment Works?

The silence is important for two main reasons. Firstly, it stops the narcissist from being “the center of the universe.” By controlling what they can control, you’re able to get back at them for their behavior.

How To Give The Silent Treatment?

If you’re in a relationship with a narcissist, make sure that you say something nice and sweet to them before you give them the silent treatment. If your partner is a petty narcissist, they’ll probably respond with an even more petty response if you start this way. It might happen that if you are lucky enough you may get the silent narcissist.

What is stonewalling in narcissism?

Are you familiar with the term "stonewalling"? It's a tool that narcissists use to punish someone who didn't act exactly like they wanted them to.

What does silent treatment do to a narcissist?

The silent treatment gives them back a way to take control back and create change. They now can rework the interaction in their favor and punish their partner. That makes their partner crave validation and fight for that instead. the narcissist has no actual desire to form a connection, they simply want to have their wants met. The silent treatment forces their partner to do that.

What does it mean when a narcissist takes the spotlight away from you?

In a way, the narcissist is taking the spotlight away from you and shining it on themselves. They want to appear like the center of your life so that you're too afraid to lose them. Instead, they manipulate you into obsessing over what you can do to earn them back.

What happens when you get silent treatment?

All a sudden when you're on the receiving end of the silent treatment, your mind becomes locked in a battle to win them back. This is a person that supposedly loves and cares about you and when they start to withhold it, they threaten to take away your ability to be loved forever, or at least try to convince you that's the case.

Why is communication important in a relationship?

Communication is essential and if they can withhold it from you , then they're making it clear that their intention is not to reach a resolution nor is your relationship their priority.

How does silence treatment work?

It starts to break you gradually by making you feel angry, lost, confused, desperate, insignificant, and invisible all at the same time.

Do narcissists take accountability?

Narcissists will avoid taking accountability at all costs. It's a huge hit to their ego to admit that they were ever wrong and they simply can't bear it. Instead, they'll find a way to absolve themselves from any blame. They do this by shifting the attention away from themselves and placing it on someone else.

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