Treatment FAQ

narcissist silent treatment even when itno longer works

by Tony Gutmann Published 2 years ago Updated 2 years ago

If a narcissist believes that this particular form of manipulation and control - the silent treatment - isn’t effective as far as you’re concerned anymore, they may switch to some other manipulative tactic.

Full Answer

Will a narcissist come back after giving the silent treatment?

The narcissist silent treatment is a form of emotional abuse where one person in the relationship ignores the other with no explanation for an extended period of time (days, weeks, months). The purpose of this is to punish or manipulate their significant other into acting differently.

Should I ignore my narcissist?

 · The silent treatment is a manipulation tactic where a toxic narcissist will stop talking to you for days, hours, weeks, or even months to punish you for some perceived slight. It can cause severe emotional and psychological damage if you don’t realize what is happening.

Is blocking the narcissist giving your power away?

 · By Zari Ballard. Narcissists will invoke the silent treatment for days, weeks, and longer with no explanation as a way to control and demoralize their partners. Narcissists are fond of using the Silent Treatment as a cruel (but not unusual) punishment for you doing nothing wrong at all and, from experience, I can tell you that the affect of this method of passive …

How to deal with a covert narcissist?

 · If you wonder what a silent treatment actually is, it is nothing but the intentional act of ignoring someone for a certain amount of time. The silent treatment is the no1 weapon used by narcissists during which the narcissist acts as if you are non-existent and even refuses to communicate, even if you tried doing so.

How long is narcissist silent treatment?

It is nothing of the sort – the narcissist fully expects you to be the one to apologize, even when you've done nothing wrong. For narcissists, they use the silent treatment as a form of manipulation. They'll refuse to communicate for days, weeks, or even months.

Do narcissists return after silent treatment?

More often, the narcissist will go silent for some period of time, and then return as if nothing happened. They may have found a new source of supply but had a falling out with them and now they need something from you. Your best bet is to ignore them the way they ignored you earlier.

What should you do when a narcissist gives you the silent treatment?

Calmly tell the person that you've noticed they're not responding and you want to understand why. Emphasize that you want to resolve things. While it's not your fault that someone else decides to give you the silent treatment, you do have a responsibility to apologize if you've done something wrong.

What happens when you go silent on a narcissist?

If you ignore a narcissist and deny them their source, they may become enraged and try even harder for your attention – especially in ways that can be toxic or abusive. Ignoring a narcissist will enrage them because of their fragile egos. They'll feel humiliated and lash out against you to protect themselves.

How do you know if a narcissist is finished with you?

How to Know if a Narcissist Is Finished with You They show no emotion. They criticize you constantly. They blame you for everything. They're always irritated or angry. They pick fights over trivial things. They take advantage of you. They withhold physical affection. They accuse you of cheating.More items...•

What does cutting off all contact with a narcissist do to them?

Breaking up with a narcissist is likely to be a draining experience. Either they won't let you go without a fight, or they will discard you without looking back. Both experiences are extremely hurtful.

Why do narcissists go silent?

Essentially, the point of the silent treatment is to make the victim feel confused, stressed, guilty, ashamed, not good enough, or unstable enough so that they would do what the manipulator wants.

How do you get a narcissist to stop ignoring you?

Shift the Focus One of the most effective things you can do when a narcissist is ignoring you is to shift your focus from them to you. Don't try to get them to talk to you and don't respond even if they turn up the heat.

Why do narcissists silent treatment?

The silent treatment, a form of stonewalling, is a tool used by narcissists to punish someone who has behaved in a way they don't like. Most people want to right wrongs and if they feel like something negative has happened in the relationship, they want to discuss it to lessen tension and to protect the relationship.

How does a narcissist react when they can't control you?

Narcissists also gaslight or practice master manipulation, weakening and destabilizing their victims; finally, they utilize positive and negative emotions or moments to trick others. When a narcissist can't control you, they'll likely feel threatened, react with anger, and they might even start threatening you.

How long does it take a narcissist to come back?

Darlene Lancer, many narcissists can only sustain a relationship for six months to a few years (at the most). Keep in mind, though, we're talking about one four-stage cycle. Too often, a narcissist will initiate the cycle again, training their target to expect them to come back. Narcissists don't offer closure.

How do you make a narcissist miserable?

14 Ways to Make a Narcissist Miserable:Lack of Attention.Doing something they don't like.Losing.Logic and Facts.Boundaries.Critical Thinking.Spontaneous Behavior.Someone else's Success.More items...•

What is the silent treatment of a narcissist?

What is the narcissist’s silent treatment? Just to be clear, the silent treatment is a manipulation tactic where a toxic narcissist will stop talking to you for days, hours, weeks or even months in order to punish you for some perceived slight.

How to understand a narcissist's silent treatment?

Understanding the Narcissist’s Silent Treatment. The first thing you have to do is to educate yourself about the situation. I always say that knowledge is power , and the first fact you need to know about this issue is exactly why narcissists give you the silent treatment in the first place.

What is silent treatment?

The silent treatment is a manipulation tactic where a toxic narcissist will stop talking to you for days , hours, weeks, or even months to punish you for some perceived s light. It can cause severe emotional and psychological damage if you don’t realize what is happening.

What is avoidance tactic?

In avoidance, the person using the silent treatment would be most likely.

Why do people use silent treatment?

A person may use the silent treatment if they do not know how to express their feelings but want their partner to see that they’re angry or upset. Many narcissists use this kind of silent treatment, but it’s not only a narcissistic behavior.

How to heal from narcissistic abuse?

Awareness is the first step on the road to healing from narcissistic abuse, and that means avoiding recreating the type of environment which will allow these toxic people to flourish in our lives again. Believe it or not, this is just one of the many signs of gaslighting and emotional abuse you’ll notice if you’re in a toxic relationship with an abusive narcissist.

What is the playbook move of a narcissist?

Keep in mind that one of the narcissist’s playbook moves is to isolate you from others in your life – the silent treatment will make you want to oblige in some cases, and you might even end up isolating yourself.

What is the silent treatment narcissists use?

Narcissists are fond of using the Silent Treatment as a cruel (but not unusual) punishment for you doing nothing wrong at all and, from experience, I can tell you that the affect of this method of passive-aggressive control is sheer torture. The first time it happened to me, I felt as lost, sad, and helpless as the puppy in the picture.

How long does silent treatment last?

Each silent treatment would last anywhere from two to three days to six weeks to six months before he hoovered back or before my begging at his door and endless onslaught of desperation letters forced him to give in. The Silent Treatment, for my ex and for many others, is a powerful narcissistic ploy and/or tactic and it gets the point across.

What does silence mean?

The silence is meant to hurt you. It is meant to teach you a lesson. And, make no mistake, the silence is always a way for the narcissist to buy himself some free time for being with someone else or for hustling up new sources of supply.

Is it normal to use silent treatment?

Understand that a partner using the Silent Treatment for any type of punishment – let alone one for a crime not committed – is not normal under any circumstances. When a narcissist uses the silent treatment, it is just one more requirement he has filled in the overall pathological relationship agenda. No one ever deserves to feel unworthy of attention or undeserving of love and loyalty. No one …not even one time.

Does silent treatment suck?

No matter how he goes about it or why it happens or when it happens, the Silent Treatment always sucks. The fact that the victim of a narcissistic partner rarely knows why they are receiving the silent treatment only compounds the mental torture.

What happens when you give silent treatment to a narcissist?

What happens in the initial days. When you start to give the silent treatment to the narcissist, the narcissist immediately finds it offending and hurting. As narcissists can’t tolerate being ignored, the act of silent treatment strikes the narcissist much harder than the normal people. As you start with the silent treatment, ...

How long does it take for a narcissist to come back to you?

Unable to feel being ignored, his inflated ego starts hitting him harder and harder. So, after giving silent treatment for a few weeks , the narcissist will likely come back to you. He may start chasing you so that he can get back his narcissistic supply like before.

What happens if you continue the silent treatment?

If you still continue the silent treatment, the narcissist may finally abandon you and move on with new narcissistic supply and new victims.

What is the silent treatment?

The silent treatment is the no1 weapon used by narcissists during which the narcissist acts as if you are non-existent and even refuses to communicate, even if you tried doing so. So, what happens when this silent-treatment is reversed?

Why does a narcissist block you?

The Narcissist may even block you on all his social media accounts and try to act extra friendlier with others, so that he can get more eyeballs from you. His routine bragging and show-off start to begin, just to show you that he is the most valuable person and prove that you are missing a great treasure ignoring him.

What if you started hanging out with someone else?

So, what if you started hanging out with some other person? What if you looked and seemed happy in the eyes of your narcissist? That’s it, your narcissist gets intensely jealous. Yes, the narcissist’s jealously will be clearly visible and is manifested in his different actions. It can vary from demeaning your character to even the narcissist himself trying to trigger your jealousy too.

What happens to a narcissist as the days pass?

As more and more days/weeks pass by, the narcissist starts to feel weaker and weaker. His vulnerability starts to get exposed. This is the final stage, and we can consider this the vulnerable stage.

How to deal with a narcissist?

Despite the silent treatment being painful, you can learn how to deal with a narcissist in powerful ways. By cultivating your self-esteem and sense of connection with others outside your abusive relationship, you will be able to weather the storm, reclaim your dignity, and get your life back.

What is the bad side of being a narcissist?

The bad side of staying in a relationship with a narcissist is that it keeps you stuck in a hopeless situation. Holding onto hope that the narcissist in your life will change is a pipe dream that leads to a wasted life.

What happens when a narcissist discards you?

When the narcissist seemingly discards you, it’s usually all smoke and mirrors to trigger your abandonment wounds so that you will accept their awful behaviors and eventually give them their way just to keep them in your life.

Can you show someone you have NPD?

No, with people with npd, you want to show them that they are not right in any way, shape, or form. When they finally reach out after giving you the silent treatment, make sure they are met with complete indifference and silence as they begin to recognize that their game didn’t work this time.

Is it okay to admit narcissistic abuse?

Recovering from narcissistic abuse is hard, and it’s okay to admit you need help. If you’re ready to go deeper, check out the #1 therapist-approved online program for narcissistic abuse recovery. Thousands across the globe have benefited from this program that’s practical, proven, and reliable. It’s the best place to begin a journey toward renewed self-worth and an end to feeling worthless.

How long does a narcissist's silent treatment last?

Narcissists have a huge patience in waiting for the narcissistic supply. Thus the narcissist’s silent treatment can long for days, weeks, months and even years also.

Why do narcissists give you silent treatment?

Narcissists give you the silent treatment when they feel that you not treating them specially. In other words, whenever the narcissist feels a decrease in their narcissist supply, he/she uses the big weapon of silent treatment on targets.

What happens during silent treatment?

So, during the silent treatment, you get confused and chase back the narcissist. Even if you did not chase, the narcissist knew that you are wondering and thinking about them continuously. This is what makes the narcissist’s ego satisfied and his longing for the narcissistic supply will be fulfilled.

What happens to a narcissist when you give him a supply?

Moreover, with the narcissistic supply you give, he gets back the power of feeling special and gets his ego satisfied.

What happens when you get irritated by a narcissist?

You get irritated, you get disturbed, You lose control of yourself and finally, You chase the narcissist and come to them. . And exactly this is what a narcissist expects and wants. By doing so, the narcissist automatically gains control over the relationship..

What is the silent treatment?

To be frank, the silent treatment is one of the narcissist’s cruel weapons used on people who love him. In other words, on the people from whom he gets that narcissistic supply. If you are in a relationship with a narcissist, you might already know how the silent treatment is like.. No calls..

When does a narcissist return?

Also at times, the narcissist returns when he is completely devoid of the narcissistic supply. On such a day when he is completely low, depressed and doesn’t have any supply available, he/she has no chance, except to come back to you immediately.

Why do narcissists use silent treatment?

Narcissists use the silent treatment as a tool for exerting power over someone or creating emotional distance.

What happens if you don't block a narcissist?

They see it as an invitation to send you random crippling abuse via SMS, to send out the occasional “dipping” message (to see if they can hook you), and to continue to keep you participating in their mind games…and this is exactly what happens when people don’t block the narcissist.

How do narcissists convince you?

If they’re able to get through to you, they can be very convincing by pretending to care about your well-being. However, once you’ve told them how you’re having a hard time and can’t get motivated to do anything, they’ll hang up with a smirk on their face because 1) they obliterated any progress you may have made and, 2) they know they’ll have an easy in once they decide the new supply needs a good ghosting of their own.

Why do narcissists pull the same disappearing act?

If the narcissist pulls the same disappearing act every time you want to have basic, adult communication, it’s not due to wounding, it’s due to their being highly manipulative and abusive.

What is silent treatment?

Psychologists consider the narcissistic silent treatment a form of abuse. It’s a popular form of mental torture used by narcissistic individuals, whereby they cut their victims off by not talking to them for extended periods of time.

What is the need to belong and feel accepted?

According to Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, the need to belong and feel accepted falls under the basic needs of food, water, and safety. In fact, this need can be so strong, it can override the needs of food and safety. Psychologists consider the narcissistic silent treatment a form of abuse.

How to respond to silent treatment?

Dig deep into the reasons why, they suggest. Respond to the silent treatment with calmness. Clearly state your boundaries. Talk to the person kindly.

Causes

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Narcissism is a personality disorder that stems from a persons psyche. Narcissism cannot be imbibed or induced. It is self developed. There are many reasons why a person may grow up to become a narcissist, in which dysfunctional families and several psychological factors play an integral role. When a narcissist feels that hi…
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Introduction

  • Being in a relationship with a narcissist can be very challenging and often unrewarding. Psychologists claim that a romantic relationship with a narcissist is actually based on a lie. A narcissist is a self absorbed person and he or she is incapable of loving someone truly because they are actually in love with their own selves. There is nothing and no one more important than …
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Characteristics

  • A narcissist has several tactics which he or she uses to control the person they are in a relationship with and they also invest their strategies to control the relationship itself. A narcissist is incapable of allowing himself or herself to go on a freewheeling ride where things are not under their control but that of lifes circumstances, which are a consequence of both people involved a…
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Mechanism

  • The silent treatment of a narcissist is almost like a self defense mechanism. When they are threatened, according to their psyche, to a compromise or a situation that they dont want to be in, they will play their cards and want the other person to retrace their steps.
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Effects

  • The silent treatment is pretty similar to a bad breakup. The narcissist will stop talking to the person, will not take their calls, not respond to the texts and if one is living in with the narcissist then there would be a cold shoulder at all times. There will be no confrontation, no emotional engagement or physical intimacy and the narcissist wil...
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Treatment

  • The narcissistic silent treatment is very difficult to bear, especially in relationships that are relatively old or have progressed through the initial phases of dating. Unfortunately, it is difficult to counter the silent treatment without opting for intervention for the narcissist in the first place. If the problem is not cured at the root then the symptom of the silent treatment cannot be done a…
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