Treatment FAQ

how to win silent treatment

by Prof. Armando Heathcote Published 2 years ago Updated 2 years ago

7 Ways To Win The Silent Treatment

  1. Be gentle in your approach. If this is not the guy's usual attitude, starting a conversation gently is a great way to start. ...
  2. Let him know how you feel. Getting silent treatment is very hurtful and frustrating. ...
  3. Acknowledge his hurt. There is a reason your partner started giving you that cold shoulder treatment. ...
  4. Suggest some ideas to him. Offer some tips that could help both of you resolve whatever issue is on the ground and solve the conflict causing the silent treatment.
  5. Ignore for a while. If you try talking to him and he doesn't respond to the silent treatment, then you should just chill for some time until he comes ...
  6. Preserve yourself. Some men can be very manipulative and that silent treatment behavior may be his way of getting you to succumb to his request or desires against your ...
  7. Be realistic. You may feel confused as to his reasons for giving you the silent treatment and you just want it to stop.

If the silent treatment does not appear to be part of a larger pattern of abuse, a person can try the following approaches:
  1. Name the situation. ...
  2. Use 'I' statements. ...
  3. Acknowledge the other person's feelings. ...
  4. Apologize for words or actions. ...
  5. Cool off and arrange a time to resolve the issue. ...
  6. Avoid unhelpful responses.
Jun 8, 2020

How to win the silent treatment in a relationship?

How can we win the silent treatment? 1 Shrugging it off One way to understand how to win the silent treatment is to brush it off or ignore it. ... 2 Confront them People who use the silent treatment to win arguments and gain control need to understand the magnitude of their immature behavior. ... 3 Therapy

Do you give the silent treatment?

If you’ve ever found yourself in a situation where you couldn’t get someone to talk to you, or even acknowledge you, you’ve experienced the silent treatment. You may even have given it yourself at some point.

How do you deal with the silent treatment from an ex?

If you feel isolated or humiliated as a result of the silent treatment, the person may be using it as a form of emotional abuse. Be firm in addressing the silence. Say, “This is abusive and I won’t stand for it.”

How to respond to the Silent Treatment with dignity?

How to respond to the silent treatment with dignity. 1 Step 1: Present your partner or spouse with the research. They need to know there’s good evidence that ignoring you is endangering the future of your ... 2 Step 2: Write them a letter. 3 Step 3: If it’s an abusive relationship – leave.

How do you outsmart the silent treatment?

How to Respond When Someone Gives You the Silent TreatmentWhen it's abusive.Make it about them.Make it about you.Ignore it.Offer solutions.Stand up for yourself.What not to do.Signs of emotional abuse.More items...•

How do you win the silence treatment?

How to Respond to the Silent Treatment#1. Dig Deep Into the Whys of the Situation.#2. Use the Sandwich Method.#3. Listen and Not Just Talk.#4. Do Not Try To Win the Silent Treatment.#5. Let Go of Your Grudge.#6. Be Strong.#7. Remember: The Recipient Doesn't Always Need To Initiate.#8. Give Space and Time.More items...•

How long should the silent treatment last?

Ideally no more than 1 hour, hopefully less. Say “I will be back in *** (time) to continue the discussion” even if you can only manage to come back to agree to close it down for the time being, or take the matter to counselling.

WHAT silent treatment does to a person?

Experiencing the silent treatment denies basic human social and relationship needs. The silent treatment has been known to end romantic relationships, alienate friends, and negatively impact child development. When children experience the silent treatment from parents or caregivers, the effects can be devastating.

How can the silent treatment backfire?

If done in a friendly, gentle manner,these gestures sends the message that you aren't taking them so seriously and it gives them permission to back down and not take themselves so seriously. If your colleague or boss has no sense of humor, or is truly a narcissist, this will backfire, so be careful!

Is silent treatment toxic?

When silence, or, rather, the refusal to engage in a conversation, is used as a control tactic to exert power in a relationship, then it becomes "the silent treatment," which is toxic, unhealthy, and abusive.

Why is silence the best revenge?

Silence speaks volumes The best revenge is no reaction. Believe it, the silence and zero reaction really bothers your ex, and they consider it as the best served revenge. Nothing creates more curiosity than silence. Your ex would expect a vent or an angry rant from you, but don't give in.

What does a man's silence mean?

This simply means that to work things out mentally and emotionally, women may prefer to "talk it out" whereas men may prefer to "think it out" and "work it out"—alone. This is the instant in which he may withdraw in silence.

Why do narcissists silent treatment?

The Purpose of the Silent Treatment Essentially, the point of the silent treatment is to make the victim feel confused, stressed, guilty, ashamed, not good enough, or unstable enough so that they would do what the manipulator wants.

Is silence a form of emotional abuse?

This is a form of emotional abuse. It's normal to not want to talk to someone when you are angry or frustrated. In most cases, this happens occasionally and blows over. However, if a person regularly uses the silent treatment to influence or control your behavior, they are being emotionally abusive.

Does silent treatment mean break up?

The silent treatment is a particularly toxic form of behavior that can lead to the breakdown of relationships. When a partner gives you the silent treatment, you might feel a crazy need to make him talk.

Is ignoring someone a form of emotional abuse?

In fact, it qualifies as abuse: Just because you are not using your hands doesn't mean you can't irreparably hurt someone else. Ignoring someone is also not a strategy, it's just a flat out disregard for someone else's feelings.

What is silent treatment?

The silent treatment is a form of emotional abuse and most people tend not to know this, and some men use it as a form of punishment. If you ever find yourself in such a position, this can be very bad especially since you are at the receiving end.

Why do people use the silent treatment?

In most cases, people use the silent treatment as a way to make you feel that they are more superior to you and this is because they feel weak and helpless. Some guys also use the silent treatment as a way to avoid the responsibilities of their actions, and mostly when they can't communicate the issue properly.

What to do if a guy doesn't respond to silent treatment?

If you try talking to him and he doesn't respond to the silent treatment, then you should just chill for some time until he comes around. He is probably in an isolation mood and doesn’t mean any harm or maybe it is a way of keeping you under control.

How to deal with a man who doesn't want to talk?

If he doesn’t want to talk about it, don’t choke him by forcing the conversation. Be gentle in your approach, and give him some time alone. Most times, when your man gives you the silent treatment, it is important you give them some alone time. But don't let this linger for too long, you must talk to him as soon as you can, or talk to someone around him.

What to do if you notice he is manipulating you?

If you ever notice he is trying to manipulate you, walk away immediately. You don't want to be someone like that, they can bring down your self-esteem.

Do you apologize for silent treatment?

You may feel confused as to his reasons for giving you the silent treatment and you just want it to stop. But don’t ever apologize when you’ve done nothing wrong just to put an end to the fuse.

Is silent treatment bad?

Getting silent treatment is very hurtful and frustrating. It’s not a nice experience, and it can really drain your joy at that moment in time. It has even led to depression for some people.

How to get rid of the silent treatment?

2. Take a break. Familiarise yourself with a time-out (opens in a new tab). It’s a really useful strategy when you’re feeling too overwhelmed to think straight.

What does it mean when you use the silent treatment?

When you’re using the silent treatment, you’re attempting to manipulate and control your partner or spouse.

What does it mean when your partner stops talking to you?

If your partner seems to have stopped talking to you out of the blue or after a fight, clearly the two of you are having a conflict – even if you weren’t aware that you’d done something ‘wrong’.

Is silent treatment hurtful?

Being treated with the silent treatment is hurtful. You deserve better. So here are three steps you can undertake to encourage your partner to communicate in a more helpful way…

Does silent treatment work?

The silent treatment can work if you’ve stopped dating someone who keeps bothering you.

Is silent treatment a sign of a toxic relationship?

At worst, it can be a sign of a toxic relationship. At best, it’s an unhealthy attempt to make upset and displeasure clear and to provoke guilt and atonement. The above steps will help you to handle the silent treatment with dignity.

Do you need to worry about silent treatment?

If you’re using a more helpful way of communicating and argue fairly, you won’t need to worry about the silent treatment backfiring.

Why do people use silent treatment?

Someone might use the silent treatment as a way to avoid conflict or deflect responsibility. At times, people use the silent treatment as a way to punish another person. Ultimately, the person lacks the ability to communicate their feelings appropriately.

What to do when you know you've done something hurtful?

If you know you’re in the wrong, say something. This gives you a chance to connect with their feelings and let them know that you’re aware of the pain you’ve caused.

How to deal with someone who refuses to talk to you?

Deal with this childish and manipulative ploy like an adult by both understanding it and confronting it. Take the initiative to open the lines of communication in a calm manner. Invite them to share with you and actually listen. Finally, don’t get caught up in your feelings. Take care of yourself by doing things you enjoy, focusing on relaxation, or ending the relationship if it’s unhealthy.

How to stop a relationship that is unhealthy?

Finally, don’t get caught up in your feelings. Take care of yourself by doing things you enjoy, focusing on relaxation, or ending the relationship if it’s unhealthy. Steps.

What to say when someone is not ready to talk?

The person may not be ready to talk yet. If they don’t seem ready, say, “I can see you’re not ready to talk about this. Let’s revisit this in three days and talk then.”

How to deal with someone who has promised to change?

You cannot change someone. If the person has promised to change yet no progress has been made, take some steps to deal with emotional abuse on your own terms. Involve the support of other people. You may need to leave the relationship. Consider if this is a pattern or a one-time occurrence.

What to say when someone refuses to engage?

For example, say, “I’ m curious as to what’s contribu ting to your silence . Can you share with me what’s going on?” If they refuse to engage, say, “We can’t move forward if you’re not willing to engage. I need to know what’s going on and I need your cooperation.”

What is silent treatment?

The silent treatment can happen in romantic relationships or any type of relationship, including between parents and children, friends, and co-workers. It can be a fleeting reaction to a situation in which one person feels angry, frustrated, or too overwhelmed to deal with a problem.

How does silent treatment affect self esteem?

When it’s used regularly as a power play, it can make you feel rejected or excluded. This can have a huge effect on your self-esteem.

How to deal with emotional abuse?

Make it about you. Ignore it. Offer solutions. Stand up for yourself. What not to do. Signs of emotional abuse. Get help. Takeaway. If you’ve ever found yourself in a situation where you couldn’t get someone to talk to you, or even acknowledge you, you’ve experienced the silent treatment.

How does being ostracized affect your self esteem?

Research shows that frequently feeling ostracized can reduce your self-esteem and sense of belonging. It can leave you feeling like you’re without control. This effect may be more intense when it’s done by someone close to you as a form of punishment. know the signs.

What to do when things escalate to emotional abuse?

When things escalate to emotional abuse, you’re not in a healthy relationship. It’s time to put yourself first. If you believe the relationship is worth salvaging: Set firm boundaries about what acceptable behavior is and how you expect to be treated.

Why do people go silent?

But some people use the silent treatment as a tool for exerting power over someone or creating emotional distance.

When the silent treatment is part of the larger issue of emotional abuse, don't blame yourself. It's not?

When the silent treatment is part of the larger issue of emotional abuse, don’t blame yourself. It’s not your fault. You’re not responsible for their behavior, no matter what they tell you. If that person genuinely wants to change, they’ll get themselves into counseling.

How long does silent treatment last?

If after you have done all this, and the silent treatment carries on for days or weeks at a time, it’s a good bet that you need to seriously evaluate your relationship.

Is silent treatment better than screaming?

For many people, silent treatment may seem like a better option, than engaging in a full-blown fight. They feel that the whole screaming-and-shouting thing is way more draining than just keeping some distance from their partners. However, constantly indulging in silent treatment will do your relationship more harm than good, in the long run.

Is the silent treatment fair?

But the silent treatment isn’t fair, and it’s harmful to both parties. For the one giving the silent treatment, it’s like drinking rat poison and expecting the other person to die. The receiving end of the silent treatment isn’t easy either. You shouldn’t be a doormat.

How to respond to silent treatment?

Dig deep into the reasons why, they suggest. Respond to the silent treatment with calmness. Clearly state your boundaries. Talk to the person kindly.

What is silent treatment?

Psychologists consider the narcissistic silent treatment a form of abuse. It’s a popular form of mental torture used by narcissistic individuals, whereby they cut their victims off by not talking to them for extended periods of time.

Why do narcissists use silent treatment?

Narcissists use the silent treatment as a tool for exerting power over someone or creating emotional distance.

How do narcissists convince you?

If they’re able to get through to you, they can be very convincing by pretending to care about your well-being. However, once you’ve told them how you’re having a hard time and can’t get motivated to do anything, they’ll hang up with a smirk on their face because 1) they obliterated any progress you may have made and, 2) they know they’ll have an easy in once they decide the new supply needs a good ghosting of their own.

Why do narcissists pull the same disappearing act?

If the narcissist pulls the same disappearing act every time you want to have basic, adult communication, it’s not due to wounding, it’s due to their being highly manipulative and abusive.

What is the need to belong and feel accepted?

According to Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, the need to belong and feel accepted falls under the basic needs of food, water, and safety. In fact, this need can be so strong, it can override the needs of food and safety. Psychologists consider the narcissistic silent treatment a form of abuse.

What happens if you don't block a narcissist?

They see it as an invitation to send you random crippling abuse via SMS, to send out the occasional “dipping” message (to see if they can hook you), and to continue to keep you participating in their mind games…and this is exactly what happens when people don’t block the narcissist.

How to stop silent treatment?

If you want to stop the silent treatment, you need to make it about the person who is angry with you.

Why do people choose to be silent?

Often, people choose to be silent because they feel that they aren’t being heard.

Why is it important to be silent when you are angry?

This is an important thing to do because the angry partner may need the silent time to reflect on their feelings and reconsider talking to you. Other times, space is what the angry person really wants.

Why do people silently treat their anger?

The silent treatment is almost always because the angry person feels overwhelmed by their emotions. You should go out, or you can stay away for a while.

When you notice the silent treatment from your partner or friend, should you respond?

When you notice the silent treatment from your partner or friend, you shouldn’t respond with anger directed at the angry person. You shouldn’t scream at the person or express anger to get him/her to talk to you.

How to get your angry friend talking?

Get your angry friend talking by suggesting, one by one, the different ways that you could have annoyed him/her. You can say something like:

When deciding how to respond to the silent treatment from a friend or spouse, should you never consider threatening to?

When deciding how to respond to the silent treatment from a friend or spouse, you should never consider threatening to leave the relationships as a solution, even out of anger.

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